Make It So
by RainbowDiamonds
Summary: Logan Mitchell has been assigned a difficult task: save the world. The rules are simple: get close to his idol James Diamond and make sure history remains intact. It sounds like a dream job to him, at least until he travels back 200 years and learns that what's in the history books isn't always accurate—and that his job is going to be a lot harder than he imagined. AU. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

So here's the new story I've been working on. Not a lot to say except I hope you like it! And thanks so much for the encouraging words. :)

* * *

_**March 2212**_

"Please have a seat, Mr. Mitchell. Mr. Drummond will join you shortly."

"Thank you," Logan replied automatically as he lowered himself into a chair, still unable to believe that he was in this room. He'd never even visited the White House as a tourist, yet for some unknown reason he was currently in an elegant salon (he thought that was what they called it, anyway) deep in the bowels of the building and waiting for the Chief of Staff to arrive. He fidgeted with his tie after scooting in toward the table.

"Can I get you a refreshment, sir? Perhaps some hot tea?"

How did this woman know that hot chamomile tea was exactly what he'd been craving in order to calm his nerves?

_She was told that, Logan. They probably know all about you and have prepared your favorite salad. With pine nuts, because that's your ultimate salad topping. _

What Logan didn't yet understand was _why _they might research him. Or do something crazy like invite him to the White House for lunch.

"That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Chamomile, Mr. Mitchell?"

He wasn't surprised at all. "Yes."

"I'll be right back with that, sir."

Logan watched her stride out of the sunlit room, thinking it odd that with much of the wealthy population indulging themselves by purchasing machines to serve them rather than hiring actual people, the cream of the crop around here still used humans.

_Humans can't be hacked, Logan. They can be bought and used for betrayal, but they can't be hacked and reprogrammed to kill the President. It's actually smarter._

He tried to ignore the presence of no less than three men surrounding him (though they did an admirable job of blending into the walls). He was sure each of them was armed and though one had caught his eye and nodded in a friendly manner, Logan suspected that the manner would become quite _un_friendly at the slightest hint of danger from him.

Which was crazy since Logan was by all accounts a normal, everyday, somewhat _boring _in fact, person. The only thing extraordinary about him was his high IQ and the fact that he'd shaved years off his education to become one of the youngest professors to teach at a university. Logan had loved human anatomy and physiology from an early age, telling everyone he could how badly he wanted to be a doctor. It was his entire focus throughout school and he didn't let the fact that some people were choosing to trust machines over humans for diagnosis and treatment stop him.

What almost did stop him, though, was putting his knowledge to use in practice. Logan eventually discovered that he didn't like touching strangers, and being around those who were ill made him nervous. It fascinated him, but it also scared him, so he found a way to become part of the medical world without actually having to practice. While most went into medicine to heal people, Logan went into medicine to teach _others_ how to heal people.

The passing on of knowledge. Teaching. _That _was his true gift.

How it had gotten him here in this room, in the White House...that much he would never understand.

Or more likely he would, as soon as Roger Drummond arrived to explain it.

The smooth white wooden door opened, and there was the man himself. He greeted Logan with a smile. "Mr. Mitchell, I hope I haven't kept you waiting long."

"No sir, I just arrived." Logan was sure the man knew that, but why not play the game? He stood up as the Chief approached the table.

"Please, sit. Relax." After a wave of his hand, Mr. Drummond took the chair across from Logan and offered that hand for a shake. "Roger Drummond, White House Chief of Staff."

"Logan Mitchell, but you know that." Logan shook hands.

"_Doctor_ Logan Mitchell, yes?"

"Uh, yes. Doctor. But I don't practice. Though you probably know that as well."

"I do," the man nodded. "You really do look younger than your age. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a high school student."

_But you do know better, don't you? _ "I get that a lot."

"Has Frannie offered you something to drink?"

"She did."

"Wonderful. Would you prefer to wait for your tea or shall I explain why you're here?"

_Yep, he knows all about me. _ "Uh...that would be good. My curiosity is through the roof."

"Mr. Mitchell, I want to...or do you prefer Dr.?"

"I'm not picky."

The Chief nodded. "Mr. Mitchell, I want to make it clear that you're not in any kind of trouble. You've done nothing wrong. It's your medical knowledge we're interested in. Or rather your knowledge of medical history."

Logan said nothing, though it did help to know he wasn't about to be hauled off to prison.

"You teach History of Medicine at the university? Among other subjects pertaining to medical breakthroughs?"

"Yes."

"We've been told that you are a fount of knowledge on the history of medicine going back hundreds of years."

"That's why they put me in front of the class," Logan replied, opting for a joke. "But it's actually thousands of years. Healers have been an important part of society from the beginning of humanity."

"I imagine so."

Talk paused while Frannie brought in a tray containing not just tea and coffee, but also two salads. Logan wasn't surprised to see his was covered in his preferred dressing.

_And _pine nuts.

After thanking her, Logan reached for his tea. It was the perfect temperature, just cool enough to avoid scalding his mouth. It also did the job of helping him to relax.

A bit.

Mr. Drummond wasted no time digging into his salad. Always self-conscious about eating in front of others (probably because he rarely did), Logan took a little more care lifting it to his mouth, and _wow_. It was fantastic.

"Tell me about yourself, Mr. Mitchell."

_Like you don't know._ "There's not much to say, really. I graduated from high school early, followed through to medical school, obtained my degrees. Now I teach at the university."

"What about outside of work? Are you seeing someone?"

Logan's eyes popped open wider. Why the hell would the White House possibly want to know about his love life? "I'm...no. It's just me."

"And you live alone?"

"I do, but I don't see what interest that might be of anyone's."

"Are you...close to anyone?"

The man kept shoveling salad into his mouth while Logan's appetite shriveled up. He set down his fork. "Look, Mr. Drummond, I'm pretty sure you know everything there is to know about me. Can you just tell me why you care and why I'm here?"

"Please call me Roger. And you're wrong, we don't know everything about you. We only know what we can see on record."

"Yet you know how I like my salad."

"Well, that's easy. You order delivery almost every night. Technically, what you like to eat _is_ on record."

Logan let out a sigh. "You're not answering my question."

"No, and I'm sorry about that, but I thought you might like to enjoy a good lunch before I chase away your appetite."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that."

Roger nodded again. "Okay. I need you to sign something first."

"If it's a promise to never talk about anything I see or hear today, you've got my solemn oath."

"It's easy to say that now. Once I tell you everything..." The man reached inside his blazer and came out with a folded sheet of paper and a pen.

"Wow, you guys really are old school around here. Paper's hard to come by."

"We do a lot of recycling at the White House. And we prefer things that can't be tampered with or altered on a screen. Read it before you sign it."

Logan did. It was a typical non-disclosure agreement, only instead of a threat to sue if breached, Logan would be facing an extremely long prison sentence. "So if I tell anyone what we talk about today, that's it for me? I'm jailed for life?"

"At the very least."

Though Roger smiled in a cordial manner, the seriousness of his words could be seen in the cold black gaze staring back.

Logan swallowed. "And if I just...walk away right now? Without knowing?"

"You go back to your life. This meeting never happened. And we choose someone else."

"For...what exactly?"

"You'll never know if you don't sign that paper," Roger shrugged. He forked another bite of lettuce into his mouth as if Logan's choice meant nothing to him.

It was tempting. All he had to do was stand up and walk out of this room. They'd fly him back to his apartment, and he'd have missed a day of classes for...well, he'd never know what for.

And that was the exact reason he couldn't do it. Logan's blessing and curse was curiosity, the need to _know_. It made him an incredible researcher. It got him through school.

Could he leave here today without knowing why the freaking _government_ wanted to talk to him? Nope. He'd regret it for the rest of his life.

_You might also regret hearing what they have to say._

This was true. But then at least he'd _know_.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Logan reached for the pen and scribbled his name at the bottom of the paper. That in itself was a novelty.

_Hey Ma, I wrote on a real piece of paper today! With_ _a pen!_

Of course, his mother had died just the year before and Logan had no other family. There really wasn't anyone to share that exciting news with.

Once signed, the paperwork was snatched away and refolded to disappear along with the pen into Roger's tailored suit. "Thank you, Mr. Mitchell. We appreciate your willingness to help protect the privacy of the United States."

"You might as well call me Logan. It's not like I'm a stranger to you or anything, right? You know everything about me."

"Not exactly, because you never answered my question. Is there anyone you're close to?"

Why bother lying at this point? "No. I mean, I talk to colleagues at school, and my students. But outside of that, no. It's just me."

"Good to know. Frannie? We're ready for lunch."

She definitely must have been waiting just outside the door, because it opened immediately to let Frannie and her tray of goodies into the room. Logan tried not to drool over his favorite pasta dish and the garlic bread that was set down in front of him. "Thank you. This looks amazing."

"The food here is definitely one of the perks of the job," Roger joked.

The remainder of Logan's salad was whisked away before his tea was topped off. Then they were alone, or as alone as they could be with armed guards watching his every move.

Logan wasn't shy about the food anymore. He picked up a piece of bread. "So I swear I won't repeat anything we discuss. What brings me here today?"

"The radiation vaccine."

Logan's head shot up from the plate he'd been concentrating on. "What about it?"

"What do you know about it?" Roger forked up a bite of tortellini.

"Uh...it was the most important technological advance of the twenty-first century and paved the way for all future vaccines. It didn't cure those who already had cancer, but it kept others from developing it. The creation of that vaccine went hand in hand with preventing cancer because it opened our eyes to the way to alter genetics safely. Cancer was one of the most prevalent causes of death during that era."

Roger nodded. "And from what my ancestors passed down over the years, it was the most painful. Not just for those who were afflicted, but loved ones who had to watch others go through it. Eat your pasta while it's still hot."

Logan followed the command, barely containing a groan of satisfaction. "The new vaccine did away with it altogether. By the year 2100, there wasn't one diagnosed case left in the world. It was basically a miracle of modern science at the time. I mean, at that point they still had the common cold to deal with, but...that rarely killed people."

"It changed the world," Roger agreed. "Our lifespan went up even more. And those living near nuclear power facilities or working in them...they had no reason to worry anymore. We can't comprehend how many lives that vaccine saved over time."

"No, we can't." The radiation/cancer vaccine was Logan's favorite subject to expound on; he even devoted an entire class to the study of its origins and the horrors of what radiation could do to the human body. Surely Roger knew this, and Logan wondered if that was why the man had brought it up. Like the food, it was breaking down his walls.

"I've been told this is your area of expertise. How much do you know about the man who invented it?"

"Well, it was technically invented in a lab. But the formula for it, the actual instruction about how to create it and administer it, that came from a high school student."

"James Diamond, right?"

"Yeah. The story goes that he came up with it as an assignment during his senior year. I mean, imagine being in _high school_ and saving the world. I have so much respect for him, what a genius! And then he went on to do so many other things in the field, he was a legend! He even got rid of the common cold!"

"I was told you get excited talking about him," Roger grinned. "I see it now."

"Well, how can you not? The guy should've been sainted when he died. He's...okay, go ahead and laugh, but he's my hero. It's because of him that I wanted to be a doctor in the first place. I saw a documentary about him when I was a kid, and...that was it." Logan kept to himself that he'd been drawn in by the young man's beauty more than anything else—at least in the beginning.

"I've seen a few documentaries about him myself. I noticed that there wasn't much at all about him before the breakthrough. Do you know anything about his childhood? What might've led up to his discovery?"

In his excitement for the subject at hand, Logan had been devouring his food without thought. He realized it now and set down his fork, then used a cloth napkin to wipe at his mouth. A swallow of tea centered him enough to answer the question. "No, he's a mystery before that. Trust me, if there's anyone who knows all there is to know about James Diamond, it's me. There's nothing on file about his life before senior year. When he died, he had his house demolished. A lot of people who were interviewed about him back then said he was eccentric, and he never talked about his personal life. The only thing that was found after his house was destroyed was a trophy that got buried in the rubble. One of the construction workers found it and donated it to a museum, it's all we have left of his possessions that wasn't auctioned or sold off for charity as per his instructions."

"The hockey trophy, right?"

"Yeah. I went to see it once on display. 'Duluth Most Valuable Player 2012.' I bet if we could find some old yearbooks from his school, we'd see pictures of him on the team or something. But no one's ever been able to. Even that documentary only had his senior portrait to show. Nothing earlier, not even anything on social media. All of the footage was from after he submitted that assignment."

"We do know that he was raised by his mother. No siblings."

"Right," Logan nodded. "And we know what high school he went to, at least for senior year. We know that he insisted on being buried in his lab coat. Otherwise? The man's a mystery."

"Really? I hadn't heard that one, about the lab coat."

"Yeah, I remember seeing a picture from his wake. So many people were there to pay respects that they had to shut the doors, and people_ still _gathered around the place. I'm telling you, he's a legend."

"I don't argue that. It's hard to imagine what the world might've been like without that vaccine, isn't it?"

Logan shuddered. "I don't even want to think about it."

Roger sipped at his coffee. "Unfortunately, you have to."

Logan's stomach dropped. Now they were getting to the real reason he was here. "Do I?"

"Yes. What I'm about to tell you...this is the thing you cannot repeat to anyone. Very few people outside this room know this information, and it's for good reason."

"Okay." Logan sensed that it was. For the first time, his curiosity was outweighed by fear. Was it too late to leave?

"Are you well, Mr. Mitchell?"

When had they returned to Mr. Mitchell? "I'm...apprehensive. You're going to tell me something I don't want to hear."

Roger sighed deeply. "There are secrets that are kept and passed down over the generations. I'm sure you know this."

"You're not talking family skeletons, are you?"

"No, Logan. I'm talking secrets that if discovered, could change the world as we know it. Two hundred years ago, there was a man who ruled a tiny little country and was determined to rule the entire world."

"We still have that now."

"We do. Would you be surprised to know that the most dangerous one now is a direct descendant of the most dangerous one back then?"

Not really, Logan supposed. "Are you gonna tell me it's the same country, too?"

"It is. There was once a plan to use radiation poisoning to kill off the population of every continent except what was then called Asia."

The pasta felt revolting in his stomach. "You mean like...nuclear war?"

"Yes, but not in the sense you're thinking. Rather than sending nuclear warheads across the world, which was expensive and difficult to accomplish for small countries, this man came up with a plan to instead bomb all the nuclear power plants in the world over the course of twenty-four hours. Except, of course, the plants on his own continent."

"Oh my god." He reached for his tea.

"His plan was to wipe out humanity in all of those areas, leaving himself the ruler of his continent, and in effect, what was left of the world."

"That's insane. That much radiation...it would've spread to them eventually, it would've cloaked the entire planet."

"I'm not sure he or his advisers realized that. But they did know that it would kill off the rest of the population. And in the spring of 2012, that plan was in development."

"Oh my god." Logan had to stand up and pace. "Oh my _god_."

"Obviously, it was never put into action. From what we were told, it was supposed to be carried out the following year. A plan like that takes time to coordinate. Many people to recruit and some of those willing to die for it to be a success. But he was in the process of making it happen."

"What stopped him?"

"The creation of a vaccine that would make people immune to radiation poisoning. Once that was known to be in existence, it became a race to see who would succeed first. Luckily, the vaccine was approved and distributed before he could make his plan work. It was a close call, though."

"Holy shit. Holy shit, we wouldn't even be alive if that happened. Nobody would be. The earth would be uninhabitable."

"So you understand how important it is that James Diamond turn in that assignment. You get that if he doesn't, humanity will be destroyed?"

"Yeah, of course, I mean..." Logan's pacing stopped as he frowned. He stared over at Roger with narrowed eyes. "Why are you talking about it in the present tense? This all happened two hundred years ago. It's in the past, it can't be changed."

"That would be the case if another miracle of modern science hadn't occurred just twenty years ago. It's not something anyone outside these walls is aware of, but...we've conquered time travel." Roger spread his arms in a "what can you do?" manner.

"What?!"

"It's true."

"Oh my god. I have to sit down." This time the tea didn't do much for his nerves. "You can't be serious."

"I am. We've tested it enough to know that it's reliable. We can select any point on the time and space spectrum and...visit."

"Holy shit." He used the napkin to wipe sweat from his brow. "Okay. Calm down, Logan. Calm down. Okay. So...let me catch up. So we can time travel now."

"Yes. We've made a pact to never use it to change the past, only to visit. Unless something like this comes up and...it has."

"What has? We're still here, so we know James Diamond created that vaccine. Nobody went back and changed that, right?"

"Not yet. Our people working undercover have informed us that someone is about to. They know we have the capability and they're planning to send someone to infiltrate us for that specific reason."

"They who?"

"That same man you mentioned earlier. The descendant of the psychotic ruler from the past. He knows about that plan and he wants to go back and make sure it's carried out."

Logan's head fell into his hands. "That doesn't make any sense. He'd die. We'll all die. He wouldn't even be born!"

"According to our people, he doesn't care about that. He wants to honor his 'greatest ancestor'. Even if he'll never be born to see it."

"That's just...no. That doesn't even..." Logan finally looked up. Roger's gaze told him that no matter how crazy it sounded, it was true. It was all true. "How do we stop him?"

"We make sure nothing gets in the way of James Diamond turning in that assignment. We send someone back to make sure that happens. Someone who knows as much as possible about the man, who can watch over him and protect him."

"What?! You're crazy! I'm no bodyguard! Why not send back one of these guys?" Logan gestured toward the men lining the wall.

"Because they don't know him. You do."

"I don't! I don't know anything more than anyone else about the man!"

"That's not what you said ten minutes ago. 'Trust me, if there's anyone who knows all there is to know about James Diamond, it's me.' You _just_ said that."

"That was...it was... I was speaking hypothetically!"

"Logan, I'm sorry. There's nothing else we can do."

"You can't send someone in to take this guy out? You're the freaking government! Don't tell me that doesn't happen, I know my history."

Rather than deny it, Roger replied, "It wouldn't matter. His closest followers know the plan and would continue it."

"So take them all out!"

"And start a global war?"

"Well...I mean...it's not like I can stop them, either! I'm just a professor! What good am I gonna do?"

"You're going to befriend him. You're not going to interfere, because that might cause problems for the future. Ripple effect. But you're going to get close to him and make sure he completes that report without anyone else showing up to stop him."

Logan rubbed a hand over his face. He was trembling at the mere thought of...well, _all_ of it. "Hold on. Just think about it for a second. Let's say I do it. I go back, he creates the formula for the vaccine, he turns it in. That teacher alerts the medical field, ergo the world. Then I come back here and they send someone back again. And again. And again, until they succeed. I can't keep that from happening."

Roger licked his lips and looked down. In a solemn tone he stated, "Which is why you can't come back. It's a one-way trip, Logan."

Stunned, Logan had nothing to say.

"Sure, they can send someone back to senior year. But they don't know anything more about him than we do, so sending someone earlier won't do any good. Nobody knows where he was. He might've been in Duluth then, or he might've moved there in 2012. The only sure thing we have from before the assignment is that trophy. And he probably received that in March of 2012. So that's the earliest it makes sense to send someone. Otherwise whoever goes back is just wasting time trying to find him."

"That's still three months before he turned in the assignment. You send someone back with three months to kill, there's no guarantee that person won't inadvertently change something in his life. Nobody can guarantee that."

"No, but we _can _guarantee that if we don't try, we'll fail. It's our only option, Logan. _You_ are our only option. You're young enough to fit in at a high school, and you know your target. You say no, and we're all doomed."

It was necessary to pace again. Logan saw the guards stiffen when he rose suddenly, then they relaxed when he did nothing more dangerous than wander in a circle. "That's not what you said earlier. If I walked out of here, you'd find someone else. You _said _that, Roger."

"I lied. I was trying to help you feel less pressured."

"Oh, gee, thanks for that! I don't feel any pressure at all now!"

"I know it's a lot to take in."

"Do you?" Logan spun around to glare at Roger. "Do you really?"

"I do. I also know that the President of the United States is counting on you, as well as the billions of people walking this planet right now who have no idea that they could cease to exist any second."

Anger was actually helping him to think rationally. "That's why you asked about my family. My friends. Someone close to me. Because you know that I have nothing holding me here outside of my work. You know I won't be leaving anyone behind."

Roger's hand gripped his arm, forcing him to stop pacing. "I also know it's scary and that what we're asking is too much. It's entirely too much for one person to take on."

"Then why ask? Don't answer that, I know why. How would I even blend in? Where would I live?"

"We have all of that arranged. There's a family who takes in foster children, they were documented as such at the time and they're in the area. We've created paperwork for you, inserted records of you into the system and collected enough cash from that time to get you through a few months."

"And then what? I'm supposed to...get a job?"

"That's up to you."

"How will I even know if I succeeded? That's the worst part, I'll never know."

Roger shrugged. "You can assume that if James turns in that assignment, you succeeded. And you'll be there to watch it all happen. To see the world change." He paused before adding, "To see James Diamond. To _talk_ to him. _Know_ him. Your hero."

Logan's heart skipped a beat. "Don't use that! That's not fair!"

"One of the perks of the job, right?"

Out of all the things Roger had said up to this point, that one pissed him off the most. The man was using his adulation to manipulate him.

Even worse, it was working.

What would it be like to see James Diamond in the flesh? Logan had a picture of the man's senior portrait hanging on his living room wall. For inspiration, he'd always said when someone asked. In truth, it was because he was captivated by the man's magnetic hazel eyes. His dark hair. Even James' nose was cause for scrutiny. The man was absolutely gorgeous.

What would it be like to have that smile aimed his way? To see those eyes flash at him? To hear James talk about their mutual love of medicine?

"Just remember, you can't interfere."

Logan's attention returned to Roger. "What?"

"Be his friend, but don't influence him. Let things take their natural course. Under no circumstances are you to impart any knowledge from his future or your present. You can't tell him where you're from."

"Like he'd believe me anyway."

"I'm just saying, Logan. You have to be careful. Can you do this?"

Could he? Probably not. He'd screw it up. Regret it his first night there, most likely. But if he didn't? "I think the question is...can I not? How can I let humanity die? I don't know if I can make this work or not, but...I have to try, don't I?"

"You do," Roger nodded. "And when you get home today and start to rethink your choice, I want you to stare at that portrait on your living room wall. Watch that interview clip from the documentary, the one you watch every night before bed. Imagine that face looking at you, Logan. It can. It _will_."

Roger knew way more than Logan was comfortable with. But he was right.

Logan couldn't miss out on the chance to speak to James Diamond.

And if he saved the world in the process? Yeah, that would be pretty awesome as well.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N—Yes, a new chapter already. My days off from work changed so my posting schedule did, too. So happy this story is well-received so far! And I forgot to say this in the last chapter, but full disclosure that I'm no expert on cancer/vaccines/radiation, etc. I did do some research to supplement what I already know but if any of this premise doesn't work, forgive me. Hopefully the story will still make sense as we go along!

Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

There really wasn't anyone to say goodbye to, not even a pet. Roger arranged for his position at the university to be taken over by others, and though he felt horrible leaving with no notice, what could he do? Logan spent his last night in 2212 packing the few things he was allowed to take for the journey and studying the man who'd shaped his life. He was still reading everything he could find, watching every video available and reaffirming what he already knew of James Diamond at three o'clock in the morning, but that was okay; it wasn't like he'd be able to sleep anyway.

Logan was too excited. There was a healthy amount of fear as well, but he'd worry about that the following day when it was time to...travel? Would that be the proper word for the adventure he was undertaking?

_Don't think about it, Logan. Think about what it will be like to hear James Diamond speak. To be in the presence of such genius, so much knowledge. To look across a room and see him, actually _see _him discussing the ideas that he doesn't know will save so many lives. _

It would be a miracle if Logan didn't bow down before the man in abject worship.

_Remember, at that point he's just a regular kid in high school. You have to treat him that way. No interfering, no telling him what his future holds. Just let things take their course and maybe you can get a front row seat to watch it all unfold._

But how to make that happen? After lunch Roger had taken Logan in to meet with the small team in charge of this mission, and their instructions on that angle had been "Use your knowledge of the subject. Figure out a way to gain his trust enough that your presence will become part of everyday life for him. You know him best and we're trusting that won't be a problem for you."

Ha, easy for them to say. Yes, he knew plenty about James Diamond the researcher. What did he know of James Diamond, high school student? Nothing outside of the fact that he'd been on the school hockey team. And was apparently talented on the ice.

_He's gorgeous, you know that. With a killer smile and intense eyes. _

Diamond had been very private about his personal life, though, even after becoming famous. It had been speculated at the time that he was too wrapped up in his work to pursue a love life, and Logan thought that was probably true based on what he'd learned of the man's habits. Which, admittedly, wasn't much outside of the lab. James had a tiny team of one scientist and one doctor that worked with him throughout his life. No family, as he was never married and his mother Brooke died of cancer soon after James turned in the assignment.

Which meant...

_She already has it. When I meet him, she'll already be afflicted with it. Does she even know? Does he? Is that why he was so determined to come up with this vaccine? He was probably extremely close to his mother. _

_Maybe I can use that._

God, he hated thinking that way. James was supposed to see him as someone non-threatening, yet here he was trying to figure out a way to manipulate the man.

On Logan's way out earlier, Roger had taken him aside and given him a piece of advice that he hadn't asked for. Now he could see the wisdom behind it.

"_If you ever start to feel like what you're doing is a bad thing, remember all of the good that will come out of it. Remember that you're saving the population and all future generations, giving them a chance to make the world a better place. Do what it takes to accomplish this for that reason alone."_

He wished he could write that down and take it with him, but he had no paper. He couldn't take any equipment with him outside of the photo cubes he'd insisted on, not even the palm-sized phone that doubled as every other piece of technology used for communication and never left his side. He'd have to buy devices once he arrived, perhaps a laptop and a cell phone that most would find primitive today. The world had survived on them then, though, and Logan would, too. He was glad now that he'd spent so much of his free time researching the culture of that period, if only to understand James and his world better.

_Wow, you really are the perfect person for them to send back in time, Logan. It's like you've spent your entire life preparing for this mission. Aren't you lucky._

He'd wanted to fight it, but Roger was right—they'd chosen well. Logan's main fear at this point was that the other side would send someone back and he'd have to protect James physically, or that he'd be in danger himself. Because if the other side knew they'd sent him...

_Maybe they won't. Sure, they'll probably send someone back to try to take James out, but maybe they won't know about you. Use that, be wary of everyone in James' life because anyone could be the enemy._

Logan wasn't so much worried about blending in as a teenager; he'd enjoyed school and would acclimate quickly to that lifestyle again. He thought he knew enough about the culture of the time to be able to pull it off, and what he didn't know could be blamed on "I rarely go out, I'm buried in books all the time." Besides, if he succeeded and inserted himself into James' life, it wouldn't be a hardship to talk science and medicine with him and his fellow scholars. Logan would fit right into that. Maybe he'd get lucky and find James to be a loner; that way there'd be no friends to be suspicious of his sudden presence in James' life.

The hardest part would probably be trying not to slip up about what he knew of the future, both in terms of James and in the development of modern medicine. These people had no idea cancer would eventually be a thing of the past. They still suffered colds (which were contagious, and thank God Logan had been given a vaccine for that as a child). Allergies were more prevalent then. But hey, at least the ozone layer would be stronger. The air quality would be better, making it possible to be outdoors for longer periods of time.

Logan almost laughed at that thought. When did he ever even_ wish_ to be outdoors? He wasn't athletic in the slightest and took little pleasure in anything requiring him to step outside that didn't involve moving from one building to the next. He wondered if James shared his preference for the indoors, then remembered that even in sports he'd chosen one that was played inside. So...probably, then. It wasn't like he spent a lot of time outside his lab after high school.

Then again...

Logan glanced up at the portrait on his living room wall. In that James didn't seem pale, but rather sun-kissed (was that even a thing?). His face was a warm shade that hinted he'd experienced his share of time soaking up rays. Perhaps he liked to study outdoors. Or maybe he was forced to walk a long way to and from school. There were so many possible explanations for the tanned and toned body Logan had watched on video over the years.

On most nights when Logan laid in bed or sat in his desk chair and wondered about things like that, he had to be satisfied with his musings because he'd never know the truth. It was hitting him now that he _would _know the truth. _Soon_. All of his wondering, his questions about what daily life had been like for James Diamond, they would be answered. Logan wouldn't have to come up with ideas about how things happened, he'd actually _know_.

_You'll know, Logan. Where he eats his lunch, who he talks to, what awards he might've won that weren't preserved, what he does after school each day. You'll know. If all goes according to plan, you'll even get to hear him say your name. Maybe even with a smile._

The vision of that sent a shiver of anticipation through Logan. He knew better than to hope for more from James. There was nothing on file anywhere stating that James was attracted to men, and even if he was Logan wasn't allowed to interfere to that degree anyway. He was there to observe and keep James on track. Even something as simple as a date with James could change his future. That was a no-go.

But for tonight (or what was left of it), he could still dream. He shut down his device for the last time, having absorbed every piece of knowledge he could about James Diamond. Now he'd take one last steam-shower before trying to sleep on his final night in 2212. He was pretty sure sleep wouldn't come easily and he'd instead lie there and daydream about what their first meeting might be like.

Would James smile at him then? Would he hold out a hand and say, "Hi, nice to meet you." Would James' hand feel warm in his? Would Logan even be able to get two words out in the presence of such beauty and intelligence?

As Logan fell asleep an hour later, he may or may not have been envisioning much more than that, and James Diamond's lips may or may not have been soft against his.

In sleep, the mission went better than planned, and he not only saved the world but found the love of his life. He'd ignore the fact that logic told him that would never happen, because if it had he would know about it two hundred years later.

Oh well. Logic had no place in dreams anyway.

* * *

The actual transport from 2212 to 2012 was instantaneous and painless; one second Logan was in a dark chamber by himself, the next he was outside and standing on a cracked sidewalk while a man with a cane ambled toward him. The sky was gray, the air was more than breathable, and the street before him was crowded with what his kind considered "antique" automobiles on their way to...well, he had no idea. Somewhere in Duluth, Minnesota, most likely.

He looked up. Not a vehicle in the sky other than a jet passing over. He was definitely in the past. The mission had officially begun.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he moved out of the old man's way. There was no answer, the man ignoring him outside of a glare before he continued on. That was fine, Logan wasn't here to make friends with anyone but James.

The mission leader's voice floated through his mind. _ "Your first objective will be to touch base with your foster family and make sure they're expecting you. We'll deposit you next to a pay phone so you can call them. Here, read over this so you know how to do that."_

Logan had done so. He reached into the right pocket of the blue jeans they'd clothed him in, relieved to find that the coins had survived the journey. The weight of an old-fashioned backpack proved that everything else had, as well. When he spun around to face the building behind him, he spied a metal box with a black receiver hanging on it. The ancient pay phone looked exactly as its picture had. Logan relaxed a tiny bit.

_So far, so good. Everything's going according to plan. Stop freaking out, this is going to be fine. And just think, by this time tomorrow you will have met James Diamond!_

Or so he hoped. One step at a time.

He dialed the phone number they'd made him memorize, and an automated voice informed him his phone call would cost fifty cents. Logan fished out two quarters, taking a moment to stare at the shiny coins with the face of the United States' very first President on them.

George Washington. Hard to believe that man was alive only about two hundred years before these people.

A sudden rush of "Holy shit, I'm really here" threatened to overwhelm him. He fought that down and focused on the task at hand. Two coins were dropped into a slot and then came the sound of one phone connecting to another before a pleasant human voice came on the line.

"Hello?"

This was it. His first real interaction with a twenty-first century human. _You can do this, she's just a person like you._ "Hi, I'm looking for Sylvia Garcia."

"This is she."

"My name's Logan Mitchell, they told me to—"

"Logan, hello! So nice to finally talk to you! The social worker said you'd be arriving today, has that changed?"

"Uh, no. I was actually just phoning to confirm so that you knew to expect me." _Stop sounding like a professor. You need to be a teenager! _

"Yes, I made sure to work from home today so that I'll be here when you arrive. And listen, they told me about your situation, how you've been through so much with your parents' deaths and you don't like to talk about it. I understand completely and I promise we won't pry or try to get you talking about it. You can have as much privacy as you need. We want you to feel comfortable here."

Wow, they'd set all that up for him? Logan knew that someone had come back long enough to put the foster care situation in place and to implant false records of his birth and...whatever else was necessary to pass as a normal resident of the time period. He didn't know they'd also given him a reason to keep his past private. That would be helpful.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. I'll only need to stay with you until I'm eighteen, so I'll be out of your hair in about six months. I'm pretty self-sufficient, mostly I just need a place to sleep and a guardian since it's required."

"Well, I hope that in time you consider us family, but no pressure. We're here for whatever you need. When can I expect you?"

That was a good question. His second objective was to purchase a phone and a laptop, then figure out how to even _get_ to the Garcia home. Thankfully, that wasn't too far and he could research public transportation once he got a phone set up. "Um, I have a few errands to run that hopefully won't take me more than an hour, and then I'll be on my way to you. I have your address, I'm not far now so...a couple of hours at the most?"

"No rush, take your time. Do you need me to pick you up? I can go get you if that's easier."

It might be, but Logan thought he needed the time to mingle with the public and get a feel for what this place was like. A bus ride might be just the thing. "Thanks, but I'll be okay. And thank you so much for taking me in. It_ has_ been rough."

"I can only imagine. They also said you lost most of your belongings in the fire, and we're not made of money but we do okay around here so if you need something, I'm more than happy to buy it for you. Clothes, toiletries, whatever. Maybe we can take a trip to the store tonight and get you all set up with that stuff."

The fire that killed his parents. Right. They really _had_ set him up good.

Logan's first instinct was to decline, but he realized she was right; he did need that stuff and though he'd been given enough money to get him through for awhile, she didn't know that. It would be a good idea to save what he could. "That would be nice, thank you. We'll discuss it when I get there."

"Oh, and obviously you don't have to worry about food or furniture. We have a bed for you, I just hope you don't mind sharing a room with my son. He's your age, so you two should have a lot in common."

Well, that wasn't optimal, but...he'd manage. There would be a lot of trips to the library if the son proved to be too nosy. "It's not a problem. I'm just grateful to have a place to live. So I'll see you in a few hours?"

"I'll be here! Call me if you need anything! Is this your cell phone number that you're calling from?"

"Uh, no. I'll give you that once I'm there and settled in."

"Okay. I look forward to meeting you, Logan. And please, if there's anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask. The kids who come stay with us are family, and we take care of them. I'm here for you."

For just a moment, Logan was reminded of his own mother and a pang of longing went through him. Sylvia and his mother would've gotten along well, he could tell that already. "Thank you, it really does mean a lot that someone cares. I'll see you soon."

"Okay, bye!"

"Bye."

He returned the phone to its cradle and let out a relieved breath. He'd survived his first objective and done it well. Sylvia would hopefully do as she'd promised and leave him be while still providing necessities and a place for him to sleep. Logan had been told that she had a husband and son, but in an effort to seem more believable he'd only been given the information he would've if his situation were actually happening. Therefore, he didn't know their names or anything else about them. He knew Sylvia worked in computers, which might come in handy as she could help him navigate the laptop he was going to buy.

_And _the phone. Logan glanced into the window of the store he was currently in front of and smiled. Just as planned, they'd dropped him at an Apple store. Within an hour, he'd be set up with everything he needed.

* * *

The cash and manufactured state identification card he'd been provided worked like a charm. Logan left the Apple store with three new devices (which he'd claim had been with him at the time of the fire his parents had perished in) and followed directions to a place called Verizon in order to set up phone service. The first (and only) contact he built into his phone was Sylvia Garcia, and that might seem weird if anyone happened to notice. How could he not even have contacts?

Well, he'd just have to keep his phone close.

Objective two was complete. The remainder of the day would be spent on objective three, which was basically to get settled in at the Garcia home and use current engines to search for data on James Diamond. He might not find anything new considering James didn't use social media at all, but with someone as intelligent as him, there would possibly be an article in the local paper about something he'd achieved. Maybe he competed in spelling bees or academic decathlons.

_Or hockey. You know he does hockey and does it well. He should be at least mentioned in local papers for that, right?_

Only one way to find out. As anxious as he was to get started on that now, his stomach was the priority. He hadn't eaten since a quick dinner the night before and he was starving. If he didn't find something soon, he'd start getting weak and shaky.

Food should be easy enough to find. Stepping out of the Verizon store, he looked up and down the street. His nostrils were filled with the scent of the fossil fuels still being used, so much that they overpowered whatever aromas might be coming from the eating establishments nearby. None of the names were familiar. What the hell was a Panda Express or a Subway? People didn't eat pandas in this day and age, did they? And what could you possibly order at a place named after a mode of transportation? According to the pictures on the window, some sort of sandwich.

Logan wasn't in the mood for a sandwich. He needed real food.

A little further up the block was what looked like a small but actual restaurant. He strolled closer until he could make out the words on the sign: _Good Eats Cafe_. It was a horrible name, but he could definitely go for some good eats. And what better way to sample what was considered appetizing food in this era?

The sign just inside the door said to seat himself, so Logan took a booth near a window that gave him an excellent view of the street. He still couldn't believe he was actually here.

_And somewhere in this same town is James Diamond. Just think, right now he's probably getting out of school. Or staying after to research. Or maybe he even tutors! It doesn't matter, he's here, within five miles of you most likely, and by this time tomorrow—_

"Hi, welcome to Good Eats. Can I start you off with a drink?"

Logan jolted, the direction of his thoughts causing his face to flush. He really needed to not think about James in public. He looked up at the waitress, whose smile seemed genuine. Her blue eyes were as friendly as her voice, and she had red hair of a shade that had to be natural. In his time, it was hard to find a redhead that hadn't chosen to be that. "Uh...I haven't had a chance to see...is there a menu?"

"Of course, it's there next to the napkins. We just keep them on the table here. Should I give you a minute?"

"That...yes. Please."

"No problem, take your time. I'm Jennifer, just holler for me when you're ready."

"Thank you."

Logan watched her move on to the next table, where a middle-aged couple had just seated themselves. She used the same pleasant voice and smile on them, but Logan thought they might be regulars because her eyes were warmer. There was something youthful about her, though she had to be in her thirties at least.

He found the maps application on his new phone and typed in the address for the Garcia home. Two miles away, which was all Logan needed to know; he'd definitely be returning to this place when he could. As long as the food was palatable, of course.

The menu was easy enough to read, and the prices laughable. Inflation would never die out. He was astounded at the amount of meals made with meat, as that was considered almost barbaric in his time.

Barbaric, but a luxury. He'd tried chicken once and found it delicious. Sure enough, this menu boasted a wide variety of chicken for consumption, and at such a cheap price he was tempted to order two meals. That might seem weird, though. He decided to play it safe with a salad topped with grilled chicken, along with a side of...French fries? How did the French eat their fries?

More importantly, what was a fry? Wasn't that...

_Yes, a potato. It's a fried potato. I remember reading about those._ Logan peeked across the aisle at a plate of food being devoured, and there was a pile of yellowish sticks that matched up to the pictures he'd seen. They were supposed to be salty and delicious. And eaten with ketchup.

Jennifer caught his eye and he nodded, offering her a smile. "I'm ready."

"What can I get you?" she asked, a pad of paper in hand with a pen ready to scribble on it. When she was done with it, it would probably end up in a wastebasket and become trash. At least they'd started to recycle by this time.

"The salad with grilled chicken, please. And...are there dressings available?"

"We have ranch, Italian, honey mustard, and bleu cheese."

"Ranch would be great. And the French fries for the side?"

"Sounds good. Anything to drink?"

"Um...I didn't see water on the menu. Do you have that?"

"Water?" she echoed with a chuckle. "Yes, it's free so we don't put it on the menu. Is that what you want?"

Free? They just randomly handed out water like it was no big deal? "I would _love_ water."

"You got it. Anything else? Appetizer?"

That would require more reading, which would probably blow his mind. "That should be fine, thank you."

"Okay, I'll bring the water over in a second. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will, thanks."

Wow, people were so _nice_ here! Except the old man with the cane, but since Logan had been in his way (and possibly appeared out of thin air), he could be excused. Logan surreptitiously listened to conversations going on around the room, mostly to get a gauge of the vibe. Everyone seemed complacent, as if stopping in for a bite to eat was just a normal part of the routine.

And watching Jennifer move between the kitchen and other tables, Logan thought he could see why. Not only was she friendly and welcoming, she was pretty. And efficient. And she laughed with the patrons in a way that didn't come off fake or forced. The woman just had that quality about her that was soothing and reassuring, as if no matter what was wrong, a smile from her could make it better.

Again, Logan was reminded of his own mother, who had been the same way. He didn't allow himself to think of her often; it saddened him. Talking to Sylvia and being around Jennifer made him feel closer to her and miss her, though.

"Here's your water." Jennifer had appeared from behind him.

"Thank you. Um, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I'm not from around here. I was told there's a bus that goes by? Do you know where I would catch that?"

"Oh, yeah, the stop is right on the corner. See, that's the bench right there."

Logan followed her pointing finger to look out the window. "The green one?"

"That's the one. Which way are you going?"

"I'm looking for Beech Lane?"

"Oh! I have friends that live there! So yeah, just get on at this stop here and go down about five stops to Vincent Avenue. Take a right when you get off, then turn left at Lockwood. Beech is two streets down from there, and you'll go left or right depending on the address."

"That's...thank you, that's great. I think my phone can get me there once I'm off the bus, but I wasn't sure where to get that."

"Right outside," she grinned. "Looks like your salad's up, I'll be right back."

Logan nodded. This was perfect, he wouldn't even have to get lost on the way to the bus.

The salad was more appetizing than he'd imagined, and the French fries...Logan made a semi-orgasmic sound after popping a few of those into his mouth. He mixed it up a little and tried dipping one into the small container of ranch dressing, and that was almost too good to bear.

_It's official, I never want to go home. I'm staying forever._

Not that he had a choice.

Five bites into his meal he realized he was devouring it like an animal and that people might stare, so he set down his fork and took out his phone instead. He needed something to distract him from the food, which definitely qualified as "good eats."

The maps app not only provided distance, but directions. According to it, the bus ride to Sylvia's would take about ten minutes, and the following walk about four. He'd be meeting his new "family" in no time.

_Don't be nervous about that. It's not your family, it's just people you're using to accomplish your mission._

And yeah, that sounded really bad.

"_If you ever start to feel like what you're doing is a bad thing, remember all of the good that will come out of it. Remember that you're saving the population and all future generations, giving them a chance to make the world a better place. Do what it takes to accomplish this for that reason alone."_

He'd memorized the command before leaving his apartment that morning. How many more times would he have to remind himself of this in his lifetime?

And how much longer would he live? He should've tried to research that while he still could. Instead, his focus had been solely on James.

Speaking of James...

He'd been fighting the temptation ever since he was handed a phone and hooked up to a cellular service. He couldn't do it anymore.

The representative at Apple had explained to him that almost anything he wanted to know _ever_ could be discovered by using Google. Logan had wanted to laugh because one thing that had survived two hundred years was Google, though in a much more advanced form. He'd gotten a funny look when he asked how to access Google, but as long as funny looks from others weren't a habit, that was fine.

He called up Google now and gave into temptation by plugging in the name "James Diamond" and "address." He needed to know how close he was to James, at least in theory.

Logan was surprised to find five separate James Diamonds in existence. He quickly narrowed it down to two based on age alone, then eliminated both of those because of location. His James had to live here in Duluth in order to play hockey for the school team, right?

_You know he does because he graduated from Denfield High School. Or _will_ graduate. Stop thinking of it as the past. It's now become the future._

And wasn't that crazy to think about?

"Everything okay?"

Jennifer's voice made him jump and he almost dropped the phone. "Sorry?"

"I didn't mean to startle you," she smiled. "Is the food okay? Everything's good?"

"Everything's great. I actually had to stop myself from inhaling it, so I'm taking a break," he chuckled. "But really, it's fantastic."

"Okay, good, just making sure. I'll get you some more water."

_For free. Seconds on water _for free_._ It boggled his mind. "Thanks."

His brain quickly returned to the task. Why wasn't there anything on James if he lived here? Surely he owned a...

_No. No he wouldn't, he's a minor. You have to be smarter than this, Logan!_

The second time, Logan searched for "Brooke Diamond" and "address". In that, he was successful because only one Brooke Diamond resided in Minnesota. And she lived only two miles away. On...

"Lockwood," Logan whispered. "4522 Lockwood Drive. Holy shit."

Not only would he be living just down the street from James, he'd be passing that very house on his trek to the Garcia home. He might even catch a glimpse of James today.

_Don't hyperventilate, don't hyperventilate, just calm down and—_

Jennifer set down a full glass of water and he scooped it up immediately. He swallowed half of it down before taking a breath, only then realizing that Jennifer was still there and staring down at him in concern.

"Are you okay, honey?"

_Honey._ Really, how was she so nice? "Yeah, I'm...it's...I've just been through a lot today."

She nodded in sympathy. "Are you just passing through?"

"No, I'm...this is my new home. I'm moving in with a family and...everything here is foreign to me."

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." Jennifer patted his hand. "But you'll love Duluth. It's a wonderful place to live. Have you met this family?"

"No, not yet. That's where I'm headed after this. I'm nervous."

"Don't be, they'll love you. Can I ask...I know it's not my business, but..."

"My parents died. In a fire. I'm basically starting a new life and it's scary, you know?"

"I can imagine. I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. Listen, if you ever need to talk, I'm here almost every day. Of course you'll probably be in school for most of my shift, but I'm here until five. I know we're strangers and you probably don't want to confide in someone you just met, but—"

The urge to hug this woman was almost overpowering. Logan settled on interrupting her instead. "That actually means a lot to me, thank you. The food here is incredible and the service even better, so I will definitely be back. It's nice to know I've made at least one friend in this place."

Jennifer smiled. "Absolutely. You come back anytime, okay? I'm not here during the weekend, though. Just so you know."

"You don't have to coddle me, I'll be fine. But...thanks. I'm Logan, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Logan."

Her eyes were now that same shade of warmth they had been for the couple next door. Logan wondered if she lived by herself and was perhaps lonely. Was the cafe all she had in the way of a social life? Maybe that was why she was so friendly.

"Finish up your salad, and if you want dessert, it's on the house."

"What? I couldn't—"

"You_ can_. You deserve something good out of this day, and if I can provide that I will."

"You already have. You gave me a friend."

Her face brightened. "I'm going to get back to work, but—"

"Go. I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Thank you."

And he was. Even the thought that he might come face-to-face with James Diamond today no longer scared him, because he wasn't alone. Sure, she was just some nice waitress in a cafe, but Jennifer was also proof that living in this time period for the rest of his life didn't have to be all bad.

If nothing else, he could eat chicken every day and drink water for _free_. All in all, he couldn't complain.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N—Hi, just a few things to say. This chapter is a little shorter than I usually post, but it was a good stopping place before the next scene. Also, if you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas! :D Hope you're all having a peaceful and joyous holiday season.

By the way, if you're not aware the website ( ) has stopped sending out email alerts for private messages. This means that if I replied to your review or any other message you've sent me and you didn't check the actual site, you never saw my reply. We're still getting reviews to our chapters and alerts for new chapters, but nothing else. So if you haven't seen me reply to anything, that's why and you probably have a few unread messages from me (and everyone else) in your inbox! Just didn't want anyone to think I was ignoring them. I'm grateful for all of you and the kind words you send me. :)

Having said all that, here's more of Logan getting settled into his new life. Enjoy!

* * *

4522 Lockwood Drive didn't stand out from the other houses on the street. It was a typical two-story clapboard painted in gray with white trim and surrounded by an elevated porch that wrapped around the front. The lawn and shrubbery were well taken care of, prompting Logan to wonder if James did any sort of landscaping himself. As far as he knew, it was only James and his mother who lived here; nothing was known in the future regarding James' father, or even James' birth. It was like he didn't exist until senior year of high school.

_He exists now. Right at this very moment, he could be inside that house coming up with his genius idea for the vaccine. He could look out that window at any second._

That thought was enough to get Logan moving again; it wouldn't look good for him to be caught standing in front of the house staring at it in awe. It killed him to walk away, but he reminded himself that there would be time to make contact—hopefully the following day at school, where Logan would enroll himself.

_Just get to your new home so you can devote more time to learning about James and come up with a plan to slip nonchalantly into his life._

The Garcia home was smaller, though still large enough to house a family of three (and more, depending on how many foster children they had at any given time). It was a white one-story with a tiny porch, the lawn in need of mowing but otherwise it seemed in good shape. The street was quiet, though perhaps the children were still in school; Logan had no idea what time that ended in this age.

He was halfway up the walk when the front door opened and a petite woman with short black hair stepped out bearing a huge grin. "Logan?" Her eyes sparkled in welcome. Logan wondered if she greeted every new foster child with this much excitement. If his backstory were true, he probably would've been grateful for the enthusiastic response.

He offered the woman a hesitant smile. "Yes. Mrs. Garcia?"

"Oh honey no, call me Sylvia." She was dying to hug him, it was written all over her face. Few people in Logan's life had hugged him, and the only one who did it on a regular basis was his mother. "Please, come in."

She held out a hand and used it to gently steer him inside the house. The living room was tidy and smelled like...cinnamon? It was a warm, cozy scent.

"Thank you for letting me stay here."

"It's no problem, we like to help those in need. Not that you're...I mean..."

Her reddening cheeks endeared her to Logan, as he suffered from foot-in-mouth disease more often than not. "It's okay, I_ am_ in need. I don't have anywhere else to go."

"Well, you're home now, for as long as you want this to be. You mentioned that you'll be eighteen in about six months? Here, let me take that."

She was reaching for his backpack and he shook his head, not wanting anyone else to possess it for even two seconds as the contents could blow his cover. "No, it's kind of heavy, it's fine." When she gestured toward a hallway, he nodded and followed. "My birthday is in September." He hadn't seen any need to change that, outside of his year of birth and current age. It wasn't like he'd be leaving the past anytime..._ever_.

"At that time the social services people will release you from their supervision, and you're free to go where you want. But I'm telling you right now that we don't kick children out once they become adults. As long as we all get along, you're welcome to stay. Here, this is the room you'll be staying in." She opened a door to the right. "Like I said, my—aye, Carlos, I told you to make sure it was clean!"

Logan peeked past her to see a room with two twin beds and a nightstand in between them. There was a closet lining one wall and it stood open with clothes strewn across the floor of it. The ones hanging were barely doing that, half of them falling from the hangers. Three plates were stacked on top of the nightstand, along with opened cans of soda, and the top of a dresser was covered in comic books.

So his new roommate was a slob. Logan would _definitely_ be spending a lot of time at the library.

"I'm so sorry, I warned him that you would be coming today and told him to clean up the room, I should've checked but I had a conference call and—"

"Sylvia, it's fine. I promise, it's fine." He squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. "I'm assuming my bed is the one that's made?"

"Yes! Let me get this cleaned up, you shouldn't have to live in such filth. Oh, he is so grounded!"

"No, really, it's okay. Don't ground him on my account. Then he'll resent me." Not that Logan really cared what his new "brother" thought of him, but if he was stuck here for six months it would be best to keep the peace. "Please."

She seemed to see the logic behind that and relented. "Fine, but he's going to hear about this. Let me at least get rid of these dirty dishes for you. I tell him all the time to bring them out into the kitchen! I don't even like him eating in here, and for this reason!"

She started to gather the plates. Logan felt the need to help and set his backpack down on the bed that belonged to him, then wondered how smart that would be to leave it alone.

_You can't have it with you every second, Logan. You're going to need to find a place for the secret stuff, and before this kid gets home from wherever he is._

Which was probably school, and probably soon. "Is it just you and me here right now?"

"Yes, my husband is at work; he's a police officer. He won't be home until dinnertime, and I should warn you that we eat a little later than most because he gets home around seven. Carlos is at hockey practice. He'll be home in a bit."

So the backpack should be fine in here at least until the kid got home, as long as he kept Sylvia away from it. He picked up the half-empty cans and used napkins that were scattered around, then followed her out of the room. He made it halfway to the kitchen before her words sank in and his steps faltered.

"Did you say...hockey practice?"

She glanced back and nodded just before disappearing through an arch. "Yeah, he's the goalie for our local team. He's really good, too! He has practice every day after school except Friday."

_Breathe, Logan. Don't jump to conclusions, maybe there's more than one hockey team._ He inhaled deeply and resumed his trek toward her voice.

The kitchen was pristine in comparison to the bedroom they'd just been in. From it he could see the connected dining room, which boasted a large table with an open laptop sitting atop it. In the center of the table was a wide vase overflowing with freshly-picked roses.

"I like to keep flowers on the table," she shared, noting the direction of his gaze. "Those are from the bushes out back, I change them every few days. I should give you the tour before we get too comfortable, but do you need anything? Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Um, no, I actually stopped for lunch on the way here because I was starving and didn't want to impose. So you mentioned your son's on a hockey team?"

"Yep! It's wonderful, it gives him an outlet for all that energy. Carlos can be a little...hyper, sometimes. But he's a good kid. Oh, the trash can's in here." She opened a cupboard under the sink. "Just dump them out first, please. And the bin on the left is for recycling."

While she busied herself rinsing plates, Logan took care of the cans. His brain was going a hundred miles a minute. If it was the same hockey team, that meant Carlos knew James. Could it be that easy to make contact?

"Are you a fan of hockey?" she suddenly asked.

He'd never seen a game in his life, outside of clips that had survived the passing of time. "I am! I don't play, though."

"That's okay, I don't either but I love to watch the games. We go cheer him on every Saturday; you're welcome to come with us."

"I'd enjoy that a lot, thank you. Is it...you said the local team?"

"Yeah, it's the high school team. Carlos goes to Denfield High, which is where you'll be going. Have you given any thought to when you want to enroll? Or I suppose since we're so close to the end of the year you could just do independent study or take the test for your GED now."

"No, I'd prefer to go to the actual school for...how much is left?"

"Just about three months. I don't suppose you have any records from your last school?"

"Uh...I got all that before I came here." Or rather, someone had come here and inserted his existence into the time period and then given him the appropriate forged paperwork. "I brought everything with me."

"Birth certificate, too?"

"Yep."

"Perfect, so there shouldn't be any problem at all. I'll go down with you just in case."

"I'd like to do it tomorrow, if possible. If you're not available I can go alone."

"Nonsense, I want to make sure they don't give you any grief. The school is used to me bringing down new kids, it'll be fine." She closed the dishwasher and spun around with a smile. "It'll be good for you to have a distraction like school. And I'll make sure Carlos shows you the ropes tomorrow, so you won't be totally lost."

That could be good or bad. Since his goal was to find James Diamond, he'd need time to himself. Then again, if Carlos actually knew James Diamond...

"Thanks, I should be fine. So am I the only kid you have staying here right now? Carlos is your actual son, right?"

"Yeah. We always wanted more kids and they never came. It's hard sometimes, getting attached to children only to lose them again, but we figure this way we're helping kids who need a stable, loving environment and hopefully making the rough times easier for them. So...it's what we do."

A rush of affection came from nowhere, and Logan stepped in to hug the woman. She seemed as surprised as he was by the gesture but welcomed it. "It's really great, what you guys do for kids like me. You're helping more than you know."

"I'm so glad. Anything we can do to help, just let us know. We're family."

The hug went on longer than Logan had intended because he hadn't realized just how badly he'd missed a mother figure in his life until this moment. Jennifer from the diner had cracked this door, and Sylvia had just thrown it wide open. "Thank you," he whispered before feeling awkward about the whole thing and stepping away.

"I'm happy to help. Let me show you the rest of the house. Obviously this is the kitchen. Out here is the dining room, where I was working. The laptop will be gone by dinnertime."

"It's not a problem," he chuckled.

From there she showed him the bathroom he would be sharing with Carlos, as she and her husband had one off their room. The bathroom, at least, contained no hints of messy Carlos (most likely thanks to Sylvia). There was also a basement below, which she explained was used more as a playroom for the kids who stayed. Logan recognized a modern (for its time) television and gaming system, along with a bookcase that was full and a closet stocked with board games and toys. The couch was worn but inviting, and there was a matching overstuffed chair that Logan thought he could probably sleep comfortably in.

"Every once in awhile we take in an extra kid, like in an emergency situation. They never stay more than a few days, and when that happens there's an air mattress that we set up down here for Carlos. We tend to stick to only one child at a time, though, so don't hesitate to make that bedroom yours. Carlos is pretty good about sharing and respecting your space. If he ever does anything to upset you, let us know and we'll take care of it."

"I'm not worried about it. This is his home and it's probably hard for him to have strangers come in all the time and take over. I can respect his space, too."

Sylvia studied him. "You're much more mature than the children we usually take in. I'm sure losing your parents so suddenly forced you to grow up quickly."

Logan shrugged. "I've always been more mature than most. I'm that kid who would rather be alone in a room reading and learning than outside playing...whatever kids play outside," he chuckled.

She laughed. "I'll warn Carlos to not get in your face too much." With a clearing of her throat, she added, "So um...this is the awkward part but it's necessary. If you want to come upstairs with me, we can have some cookies and talk about the rules."

_Rules._ Of course there would be rules, he was parading as a minor. Rules were something Logan had high respect for, as long as they didn't interfere with his mission of getting to know James. "Sure. What kind of cookies?"

"I baked chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin since I didn't know what you'd like. Oh, and do you have any allergies I need to know about?"

Allergies? Logan had been inoculated against those before even leaving the hospital at birth, thanks to the groundbreaking work of one James Diamond. "Not at all. I will eat any cookie you put in front of me."

* * *

The rules proved to be pretty straightforward: come in before curfew, no alcohol or drugs, no illegal activities of any kind, and no ditching school. None of these would be problems for Logan, who hadn't been partial to alcohol or drugs even in his time.

"We also insist that you shower at least three times a week. I don't think that's going to be a problem for you, but we've run into that in the past so now I state that upfront. Good hygiene is important."

"You don't have to tell me that," Logan grinned. "I prefer to steam...sorry, I meant shower, I don't know why I said that." He turned it into an embarrassed laugh, but here it was—his first slip-up. In this age they still used running water to cleanse. "Um, I was saying that I like to _shower_ every day."

"Good. I force Carlos to when he gets home from hockey every night, because he sweats a lot and I don't want that at my dinner table. Do you need to discuss any of the rules, or are they clear? We don't budge on them and if it's a problem, now is the time to tell me."

"No, no problem at all. They sound like reasonable rules."

"Oh, I forgot to mention, no tobacco products in the house either. That includes vaping."

What the hell was "vaping"? "Sure. You got it."

"Okay, then we're set." Sylvia smiled, the warm mom-type personality returning. "How are the cookies?"

"You can't tell by the fact that I'm inhaling them?" Logan joked. Even the milk—_dairy_ milk—was to die for.

"Well, don't eat too many—dinner's only a few hours away. Do you like chicken?"

"I _love_ chicken."

"I'm making tacos with beans and rice."

"Chicken tacos?"

"Well, yes," she chuckled. "But we'll have other stuff to put in them, too. Cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions...the normal taco toppings."

He was going to gain so much weight here, because food had become his new favorite thing. "That sounds amazing."

"Great! I just need a few minutes to check in with work, I'm sorry, but you can—"

"No, it's fine! It'll give me time to get settled in the room. Don't even worry about it."

"I shouldn't be long, just need to wrap up a few things. If there's anything I can get you, just—"

"I promise, Sylvia, I'm fine."

The slamming of the front door startled them both. "You made cookies?! I smell cookies!"

Sylvia rolled her eyes. "_And_ Carlos is home." Louder, she called out, "Don't drop your stuff in the living room! Take it to your room! Are you alone or are the boys with you today?"

"Just me, Ma!" Logan heard the sound of what was definitely "stuff" being dropped in the hallway, then a short teen with closely-cropped black hair jogged into the kitchen. He went straight for the plate of cookies on the counter. "Chocolate chip? What's the occasion?"

Logan studied the boy from behind. He wore black sweats over sneakers (at least, that's what Logan thought they were called), and a red t-shirt. He was slim, though if he was hyperactive and played sports, that made sense. He could probably consume thousands of calories without gaining an ounce. Logan was immediately jealous of that ability.

"Of course you already forgot. Considering you didn't even clean your room like I asked, I shouldn't be—"

"I cleaned my room!" Carlos argued while spinning around with a cookie hanging out of his mouth. The rest was garbled. "You said we had a new kid coming so I cleaned his bed off! Oh, hi! You're Logan, right?"

Carlos stayed in place, no attempt to shake hands. Logan was fine with that. "Hi. Nice to meet you."

"So he gets chocolate? You don't bake chocolate for me!"

"That's because there's too much sugar in chocolate. Are you saying you don't like my oatmeal raisin?"

"Ma, please, I'd die for your oatmeal raisin. But I mean...chocolate!" As if to back up his statement, Carlos reached for a second cookie and shoved it in his mouth.

"Don't eat too many, Carlitos. I'm starting dinner soon."

"You already said I could eat at the party. Wait, what am I missing? If it's something good, I'll eat here first. Jenny said we're eating pizza at the party."

Sylvia blinked twice before her face fell. "Jenny Tinkler's party. I forgot that was tonight. Who has a birthday party on a school night?"

"That's Jenny for you," Carlos shrugged. "She's always doing weird things. But she said pizza and cake, so what's the competition?"

"Tacos," Sylvia answered.

"Chicken or steak?"

"Chicken. We had steak last time."

"Like that matters," Carlos complained. "We should have steak _every_ time. Logan, you agree, right? Steak tacos are way better than chicken?"

Considering Logan had never eaten steak, he wasn't sure how to answer. He recalled that this was the start of the vegan lifestyle takeover so went with that. "Actually, I've never had steak. My parents were vegan and raised me to be like that. Today was only the second time I've ever eaten chicken in my life."

Carlos' expression turned to horror. "You've never had steak? Are you _kidding_ me? Ma, end this poor boy's suffering and make us steak tacos. Wait, so you've never had a hamburger either?"

"I've had something similar, just not actual beef."

"Oh my god. There's so much I have to teach you! We'll start with pepperoni and sausage, because you can't have pizza without either of those. You know about cheese, right?"

"I know about it, sure. But our cheese was never made from dairy."

Carlos couldn't fathom it. His mouth worked without sound until, "Did they ever let you leave the house?"

Logan's brain shifted into gear. Staying in a lot could explain his lack of knowledge about whatever might come up. "Not too often. I was educated at home."

"So you've never even been to _school_?!" Carlos exclaimed. "How do you live? Did you have friends?"

_Not really. _ "I mostly kept to myself."

"Carlos," Sylvia piped up. "Why don't you take Logan to the party with you? As long as you want to go, Logan. I don't mean to force anything on you."

That would get in the way of his time to research James. And he_ really_ needed time to do that before tomorrow. "Uh...I'm not sure if I'm ready for a party."

"What?" Carlos scowled. "Who doesn't want to party? Come on, man, don't be a nerd! Let loose, have a little fun!"

"Carlos, don't pressure him. We need to go out and get him some things tonight anyway, so if he'd rather just stay home than be dragged around by you and the boys, that's what he'll do."

The boys? It was entirely possible that these "boys" might be other members of the hockey team. Surely not James, as Logan couldn't fathom James purposely socializing with someone like Carlos off the ice, but if nothing else he might be able to talk to people at this party about James. The guy was probably popular for his brain alone. "You know what? Maybe Carlos is right. Maybe I do need to get out and experience life. It _would_ take my mind off my parents for a few hours."

Sylvia was immediately sympathetic. "Of course, Logan, you do whatever you need to. If you don't have clothes for tomorrow, you can borrow something from Carlos. You two are about the same size. We'll go out over the weekend to shop for you. Carlos? Can I trust you to be nice and not leave him alone at the party?"

"That depends. Is he gonna be a drag?"

"Carlos!"

Logan shook his head, not in denial but exasperation. This was the side of socializing as a teen that he'd hated. "I'm not going to hold you back, Carlos. Just make sure I know how to get in touch with you when it's time to leave, and I won't be a problem."

"Dude, you're not a problem, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying, don't kill my smooth moves with the ladies. But maybe you can watch and learn some things! Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Not if he could help it. "I have not."

"So see, I can teach you some things!"

Amused, Sylvia smirked. "Baby, _you've_ never had a girlfriend, either."

"Ma, don't embarrass me! I'm close, I can feel it! Denise has been giving me looks. I'm gonna make my move tonight!"

"Honey, just don't get your hopes up. Every time you do, you come home depressed and worried that you'll never find someone, and I promise that there's someone out there for you. It's all about the timing, sweetheart."

Carlos looked like he wished a hole would open up and swallow him. "Please stop talking. I'm losing cool points by the second."

Sylvia rolled her eyes. "You and your 'cool points.' I'm just saying, Carlitos, it doesn't have to happen tonight. Watch over Logan, make sure he's okay. And Logan, if you want to come home early you can just call me. I'll come get you."

"Thanks," he nodded. "We'll see how it goes."

She turned her attention back to her son. "For now, go get showered, you smell like sweat. And stop eating cookies!"

"Never!" With a victorious cry, Carlos scooped up two more chocolate chip and ran out of the kitchen, stopping only long enough to pick up an oversized bag and a backpack before rushing down the hall. They heard a door slam again before Sylvia sighed.

"Well, now you've met Hurricane Carlos. Welcome to our home."

Logan chuckled. _ Definitely_ lots of time at the library.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N—Happy New Year! Here's hoping for an awesome year for everyone. Thank you for sticking with me over the past one and reading my stories. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

After making them promise that they'd catch a ride home or call her to come get them before ten o'clock, Sylvia let Logan and Carlos escape the family vehicle. Riding in it hadn't felt any different than it had back home, except for the fact that most vehicles from Logan's time had the option to fly as well. You had to have a special permit to navigate the sky and it was reserved for those traveling more than thirty miles. It was an option Logan had taken advantage of to visit his mother and to attend academic conferences, but for the most part he'd remained on the (not so) highway.

Logan's outfit of jeans and a polo shirt had been deemed "good enough" for the party since it was a casual affair and as Carlos made sure to inform him, "You're a nerd, it suits you."

Jenny's house appeared to be about the size of Carlos', which meant that there would be a lot of bodies crowded together in small spaces. He could hear the boom of old-fashioned rock and roll coming from inside, or perhaps that was from the backyard. At least if the backyard was available, there would be a way to escape the tightly-packed rooms and breathe in some of this glorious fresh air.

"Oh good, Kendall's already here."

Logan glanced over to see Carlos pocketing his phone. "Someone you know?"

"Dude, Kendall's the coolest guy I've _ever_ known. You're gonna love him. I warned him you're coming, so he'll be cool with you."

"You _warned_ him? Am I some danger he needs to be prepared to face?"

Carlos waved a hand. "Nah, don't be so uptight. He's just weird about new people hanging around with us. We're tight like that, you know?"

Great, so Logan was going to be resented for most of his time in the Garcia household. Well, that was fine, he didn't intend to be glued to Carlos much longer anyway. As soon as he located James, that would be the only company he needed to keep.

Carlos stopped walking as they neared the porch. "And look, about what I said at the house. I was serious about that."

"Which part, exactly?"

"If you see me talking to a girl and it looks like it's going well, don't crowd me. Just...find someplace else to be. It's guy code. But don't tell Mom that or she'll say I deserted you."

"Carlos, I know how to behave at a party." He really didn't. "If I'm bothering you, just let me know."

"Cool, and I don't think it'll happen, but if you hit it off with a girl I'll do the same thing."

"Wow, thanks for being so considerate."

Carlos grinned and patted Logan's back. "Anytime! Let's go find Kendall. And pizza!"

Logan shook his head, amazed that someone could be so oblivious to sarcasm. He let Carlos lead the way into the house once the bell had summoned a random person to open the door. It was as expected: too many beers, too many bodies, too much noise as they all tried to yell over loud music that was indeed being pumped in from the backyard. How were the neighbors allowing this?

Carlos was greeted by people as they moved through the living room, and he introduced Logan to no one. That was fine by Logan as long as none of them were on the hockey team. It would be so much easier to pick them out if the members were currently wearing jerseys.

One of them seemed to be, though. In a corner listening to an enthusiastic girl with platinum hair ramble was a tall blond clad in a forest green jersey that Logan thought represented a hockey team. As Logan watched, the guy nodded and lifted a bottle toward his mouth to swallow before glancing around. Bright green eyes zeroed in on Logan, then moved to Carlos to send him some sort of signal.

"I think that guy's trying to get your attention," Logan half-whispered into Carlos' ear.

"Who?" Carlos followed his gaze and gasped. "Kendall! Uh oh, Jenny's got him. We gotta go rescue him."

"Rescue him? I thought you said we were supposed to find somewhere else to be when a guy's talking a girl up."

"Not Jenny! Man, poor Kendall. Come on!"

"But isn't this her party?"

Carlos was already moving, so Logan followed. By the time they crossed the room, the guy was once again pretending to be interested in whatever the girl had to say.

"Jenny, hey!"

She looked over. "Carlos! Hi!"

Logan stepped back as the enthusiasm was turned to Carlos. After dragging him into a tight hug Jenny started to ramble again, something about how great the party was and she couldn't believe she was finally eighteen and "Can you believe my parents let me have this party on a school night?!"

Logan couldn't. How many of these kids imbibing alcohol were minors?

Carlos interrupted the rambling. "You promised me pizza. Don't hold out on me, girl! Where is it?"

"Oh my god, of course all you care about is pizza. Come on, it's in the kitchen."

"I know where the kitchen is, I've been coming to your parties since we were five years old. I'll be right there! Oh, and happy birthday!"

"Yeah, yeah."

Carlos let her leave, then turned back to Kendall. "Sorry man, we tried to get here sooner but Mom insisted on making dinner first. And we can only stay until ten."

"Yeah, Mom said the same thing. Thanks for getting her away from me though, she had me cornered from the moment I walked in."

Carlos nudged Logan with a smirk. "Jenny has the hots for Kendall."

"Oh shut up, it's not funny anymore," Kendall scowled. "It hasn't been funny since seventh grade. Why do I even come to these parties?"

"Hello, because it's a party and there's free pizza and beer! I mean, when do we ever get to party on a school night?"

Kendall rolled his eyes before they settled on Logan in distaste. "Hey."

"Oh! Kendall, this is Logan!"

"The new brother, eh?"

Why was it an insult out of Kendall's mouth? "I'm just staying with them until I can leave. Nice to meet you." It really wasn't, not with that attitude.

"Dude, can you believe Logan's never had pizza before? Or steak?"

Logan corrected Carlos. "I've had pizza. Just nothing with meat or dairy."

"Oh, you're vegan." Logan sensed that this time Kendall's eye roll was barely suppressed. "There's probably some _salad_ in there if you're hungry."

"No way," Carlos argued. "He's eating pizza tonight. Let's go get some before it's all gone!"

Logan started to follow Carlos, eager to be away from the hostility pouring from "the coolest guy ever", but Kendall's hand gripping his wrist stopped him. "We'll catch up in a second," Kendall said to Carlos. "I'm gonna show Logan where the bathroom is."

Where the bathroom was? Why, so he could shove Logan's head in a toilet and assert his dominance? Logan was already over high school mentality.

"Okay, but hurry. I can't promise I won't eat it all."

Kendall waited for Carlos to clear the room, then took another swig from the bottle. Logan decided to head off any attempts at bullying by being pleasant. "So how do you know Carlos?"

Kendall shifted, and suddenly it was Logan who was cornered, quite literally as Kendall backed him into the place where two walls met. "Carlos is one of my best friends. He told me what happened to your parents, and I'm really sorry about that. I'm sure it's a difficult time for you."

The sympathy was unexpected. Logan nodded, not meeting Kendall's eyes.

"But Carlos has had enough problems with foster kids that make his life hell. I'm telling you right now that if you fuck with him, I'll make you pay. He's a good guy with a heart of gold and I won't let anyone mess with his happiness. Do you understand?"

No, Logan didn't. Not even a tiny bit. Stunned, he asked Kendall, "What did they do to him?"

"What didn't they? Every time Carlos gets a new brother, he tries to take over Carlos' life and get him shipped off somewhere. Tries to steal his friends, frames him with bullshit so Carlos gets in trouble, one even tried to have Carlos arrested. And even after all that, he still welcomes each new one with open arms and a trusting heart because he feels sorry for them. His blind faith in the good of people is one of my favorite things about him and I'm not letting him suffer again. Whatever you're planning, no matter how great it is living with him and his parents, you can't have his life. You sure as hell can't have his friends, so don't even think we're gonna make you part of the group. Four's a crowd."

Logan's jaw had dropped open. "Tried to have him arrested? Who would do that?"

"Someone desperate for a real family that cares. I know you're gonna be around a lot, because Carlos is nice and won't want to abandon you. But you're gonna want to find your own hobbies and make your own friends. We'll be nice when we have to be. We're not total assholes and we understand that it's hard trying to fit in. I'm just warning you that we watch over him. Not just us, but the whole hockey team. Trust me, you don't want an entire team on your ass."

"Right, okay, I get it. I'm not here to ruin Carlos' life or steal it. I just need a place to stay and I'll be gone in six months. I like solitude anyway, so I'll probably spend most of my time in the library or—wait, did you say hockey team?"

Kendall nodded. "You play?"

"Who, me? No. No no no no no." The concept was laughable. "I uh...I like to watch, though?" _Dammit, Logan, it's not supposed to be a question. Grow some balls and stop letting this guy intimidate you. Once he knows you're not a threat to Carlos, he'll back off._ "Sylvia said I could go with them to the games."

"Yeah, we have a play-off game coming up this weekend and we need Carlos. He's the best goaltender in the state, so I need his head in the game. We can't win without him, do you understand me? So if you fuck with him—"

"I'm not going to fuck with him, will you relax?" Logan had had enough of the threats. "Do I look like the type to cause trouble for..._anyone_?"

"Yeah well, the last guy didn't look like trouble either. Not until he planted drugs in Carlos' backpack."

"Wow. No wonder Sylvia's so strict."

"She has reason to be. So...are we on the same page here?"

"Yes. I swear, I'm not here to mess with Carlos or steal his life. I just need a place to stay." _And a way into that hockey team. Looks like I just found it._

"Good. Because if you—"

"Guys, what are you doing?" Carlos yelled. "The pizza's almost gone! Get in here!"

Kendall locked eyes with Logan one more time to be sure the point was made. Logan nodded, and he turned away. "Did you eat it all, asshole?"

"Just two pieces! I saved you some, hurry!"

They threaded their way through people toward Carlos. Just as they reached the sliding glass door leading out in the backyard, two bodies squeezed between Logan and Kendall. A girl slid the glass aside and slipped through while a dude carrying red cups in each hand followed. "Hey," he called back. "Can you get the door for me? Thanks, bro!"

_Sure, bro_. Logan rolled his eyes and started to slide the door along its track, gaze roaming the party-goers scattered around the back patio and lawn. Halfway through the act he caught sight of a face that was familiar only because he'd studied it for most of his life. Magnetic hazel eyes were lit up with amusement. Dark hair hung down above them. A wide smile formed to reveal perfect white teeth and across the space the sound of laughter floated to Logan.

Without even meaning to, he'd found James Diamond.

* * *

Carlos, Kendall, and pizza were forgotten. All Logan could do was stare through the open door at the tall body relaxing back against a tree and lifting a red cup to its mouth. Once the cup was lowered, white teeth showed again in a smile that was...flirty?

James was wearing black boots, tight blue jeans, and a brown leather jacket over a maroon t-shirt. The tips of his dark hair brushed against the leather when he nodded in response to whatever his current companion was saying. Logan studied her next and had to blink to make sure his vision was functioning. The girl James was talking to wasn't at all the sort that Logan would've imagined interesting someone as smart as James.

The clingy material of her skirt barely stretched over her rear to leave long legs exposed above shoes that stood on a heel the width of a push pin. Her midriff was bare, as her torso was only covered in what looked like a bra that fit badly to leave her breasts overflowing from the cups. Whenever she laughed, her head fell back and James' gaze unfailingly strayed to the cleavage. Once he even licked his lips.

_Wow. Guess that answers that question. He definitely loves the ladies. _ All of Logan's fantasies over the years crashed and burned in the span of three seconds. But that was okay, really. He hadn't actually expected that James would fall for him. In fact, it was forbidden for the mission. So...

_It's fine. He's a normal (though extremely intelligent) teenager at this point and you shouldn't expect anything different than what you're seeing now._

The girl suddenly shifted her weight to block Logan's view of James. He felt like his heart was being ripped out at the loss of such beauty.

_I have to go out there. I don't know what I'm going to say, but I have to go out there. This is it, Logan. This is where it begins. Roger would want you to make contact._

As if he needed that push. Logan swallowed in an effort of brace himself, then stepped out onto the patio. He remembered to turn back and close the sliding door, then spun again in time to be jostled by one of the other guests.

"Hey, cutie," she winked. She'd obviously had more than her share of beer (and who knew what else). "Want to dance?"

"Uh...thanks, I just ate so I'm not really...no. Thank you."

The girl shrugged. "Your loss." She danced away toward a cluster of bodies moving to the beat of the music, which was twice as loud out here. How was James even hearing what the girl was saying?

He looked over from his new vantage point to see that the girl was now pressing herself closer to James. _That's how. Because she's practically standing on top of him. _

James didn't seem to be fighting the attention. If anything, he was responding in kind.

"_If you see me talking to a girl and it looks like it's going well, don't crowd me. Just...find someplace else to be. It's guy code."_

That's what Logan should do. This really wasn't an optimal time to introduce himself to James.

But what if this was his only chance? Sure, there might be hockey games, but at those James would be on the ice and Logan certainly wasn't going to bother him during a competition. There was school, of course, and that was probably the best place to approach—when James was in an academic mode.

_But there's no guarantee on that, either. I can't be sure to find him. He's standing right in front of me at this moment, I have to do it. I can't lose this gift of an opportunity! It's meant to be!_

Logan was going in.

He wove through the party-goers on the patio and then the lawn, trying not to let nerves overwhelm him. This was it, years of fantasy in the making and now it was finally happening. He was going to exchange words with James Diamond! James was going to _look _at him!

Eventually he was close enough to hear what the girl was saying, and he very slowly inched his way closer.

"—and we rushed down there in Mindy's car, she broke _so_ many laws oh my god it's a miracle we made it there in one piece—" A high-pitched giggle. "—but we knew that an hour just wasn't enough to shop, you know? Not for a prom dress!"

James nodded as if he not only understood the need for plenty of time to shop, but especially for a prom dress. Was he just humoring her?

_It's what guys do, Logan. Anything to get in her pants._

He'd come all this way to find out that James, like most teenage boys, were blinded by sex. He himself had gone through that phase, and it had annoyed him because he was making his way through college at that point and his overactive libido proved to be a distraction. Couldn't all of this have happened when James was a few years older and sex _wasn't_ the first thing he thought about upon waking?

Logan watched him lift the cup to his mouth again, entranced by the way his throat moved as he swallowed. What he would give to suck on that sensitive skin.

_Focus, Logan! The mission! You're as bad as he is! _

"So we get there and we're literally running through the mall but when we get to the dress place, they're pulling down the gates! We were like...what?! The chick says the mall is closing and Lindsey's like 'Hello, the mall is open until six on Sundays, I know mall hours' and the chick goes, 'It _is_ six o'clock. Sorry, ladies, today was the time change.'" She paused for dramatic effect. "Time change! Can you believe it?! The fucking time change!"

James chuckled. Logan was positive that he was just humoring her, because his eyes showed no amusement. Now was the time to interrupt; perhaps he could be the rescuer James was dying for the way Carlos had been for Kendall.

"So I still have no dress! We were supposed to go out shopping last night but my bitch of a mother decided to have an anxiety attack right before dinner so we didn't even get that. My dad ordered us fucking pizza, like doesn't he know how many calories that shit has? I'm trying to fit into a prom dress here, Dad!"

Now was definitely the time, because if Logan had to listen to one more idiotic word out of this girl's mouth, she wasn't going to survive the next two minutes. What could he use for an opening? "Hi, you don't know me but I really want to know you." No, that was the stupidest thing he could say. Maybe—

"Do you have a problem?"

No, that certainly wouldn't work either.

It was another five seconds before Logan realized that not only had the words come from James, but they were aimed at him. He looked up to meet cold hazel eyes that were glaring back.

"I mean, are you gonna just keeping standing there staring at us all night or what?"

The girl spun around suddenly, her face taking on an expression of distaste when she spied him. "Ew, gross. Find someone else to jack off to, asshole."

All the blood drained from Logan's face. "What? No! No, I would never..."

James rolled his eyes before taking her arm. "Come on, let's go somewhere more private." She let him drag her toward the side of the house, looking back once to scrunch her face at Logan in disgust.

The tree caught him when his legs started to fail him. He leaned against it while trying to figure out what had just happened.

James Diamond had spoken to him. Looked at him. That _had_ been his goal, but not...

Now James thought he was some kind of...

_No no no, this isn't how it was supposed to go! What the hell do I do now?!_

* * *

Logan's first instinct was to run. Just get away from this place, as far from James as he could, and never look back. He couldn't face James again, not after that. James thought he was some kind of freak.

Where would he go, though? Back to the Garcia home? It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go, and he couldn't get back to his own time.

_Even if you could, you wouldn't. You're here for a reason. If you don't stay and make sure things go according to plan, you won't even exist. Your ancestors will die and you won't ever be born._

His ancestors. That was a thought that had never crossed his mind. Why hadn't he looked into that before coming here? He could've met his great great great great...well, he didn't know how many greats back but he'd be their future grandson. Instead he'd spent his last night wrapped up in a guy who now viewed him as a pervert.

_You can fix this, Logan. You have to fix this. _Now.

Okay. Okay, he could do this. All he had to do was go talk to James, to clear up the misunderstanding. He just needed an actual_ reason _to talk to James, one that was believable. Nobody knew James better than Logan, he could do this. What would get through to James?

_Appeal to his intellect. Sure, he's at a party right now, but that mind is always working. If nothing else you can get him away from the self-absorbed prom queen. Once he stops thinking about getting into her pants, he'll thank you because she is absolutely not the right girl for him._

Right. Because on the inside James was a genius. He probably loved to share his brilliance with an interested audience.

_Tutoring. Tell him you need help in a class, that you heard he was the best and without his help you might fail. Play dumb if you have to. Anything to get on his good side, to make sure he wants to keep you around._

Logan nodded to himself. This could work. It was true he hadn't even enrolled yet, but James didn't know that.

He strutted off in the direction James had steered the girl to round a corner of the house. There was a grass path that led all the way to a gate at the front of the building, and lining that path was a collection of couples tangled together up against the wall.

Was he really going to do this? It was possible James had taken the girl through the front gate. He hoped so, because if James was already at this point with her, there was no way Logan could interrupt. That would only add to his perceived creepiness.

He'd go back through the house and check out the front lawn area. Best to back away from this.

"Mmm, James," was followed by a quiet giggle, stopping Logan in his tracks as he'd been about to return to the house. He couldn't help himself, attention drawn to the couple nearest him.

The red cup had fallen (or been thrown, for all Logan knew) to the grass so that James' hands were free to roam her body. He had her pressed up against the wall, mouth demanding on hers while her fingers lost themselves in that gorgeous brown hair. Both of James' hands were squeezing her breasts, his thumbs moving in a way that told Logan this wasn't his first time in that particular position.

Logan couldn't tear his gaze away. It was like watching his most secret fantasies play out, as long as he blocked out the girl and imagined himself in her place. That was exactly the way he'd imagined James kissing him. James had taken charge in that same manner, aggressive and trapping him to a flat surface. The only thing wrong was the hands, because in his fantasies they were squeezing something else. One hand usually went around to the back, the other sliding down his stomach to—

"Oh my god, what is your problem?! You're sick!"

Logan jolted at the high-pitched shriek. The girl had shoved James away to focus on him instead, and in a matter of seconds James' expression went from confusion to angry disbelief when he understood that she'd caught Logan watching them again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You like to watch, pervert? Can't get your own girl so you have to get your jollies watching mine?"

Most of the other couples had stopped their ardor to see what was going on; some had merely turned away and continued. James shoved his girl out of the way to advance on Logan, who now realized what he should have the first time.

James' words were slurring together. He was a tad unsteady on his feet and his eyes were glazed over in a way that told Logan his brain was sloshed.

_He could still kick your ass, though. He's big._

James came to a stop less than a foot from Logan. "Get the fuck out of here!"

"No, wait, you don't understand." It was hard, but Logan stood his ground even though instinct was again telling him to run. He _had_ to do this. "Please, let me—"

"Spy on us some more so you can get a show? I don't fucking think so!"

"No, wait! I need tutoring!"

James' hands came up to settle on Logan's shoulders. He'd been intending to push Logan away, perhaps even to the ground so he could pummel him. At Logan's words, the hands instead tightened to keep him in place. "What?"

"Tutoring! I heard you're a genius and I need help or I'm gonna fail, please just—"

"Are you...is this _funny _to you? You think this is a_ joke_?"

"What? No! I'm serious, you're so smart and—"

One arm pulled itself back. A fist formed, and Logan suddenly knew where it was headed. He ducked just in time. Unsteady, James stumbled and caught himself on the wall. Even in the midst of Logan's panic, he was concerned for the man. He laid a hand on James' back. "Are you okay?"

"Get your hands off him, you perv!"

The girl. She was still here? Logan groaned in annoyance. Couldn't she give them five seconds to just talk?

James batted Logan's arm away and turned to him. In the depths of hazel Logan saw anger, but something more buried beneath. There was pain and anguish. "I don't need this shit right now. Get the fuck away from me before I make you regret you were even born."

James meant it.

"If I see your face again, you're dead."

No, this wasn't how it was supposed to go. He couldn't let it end like this, there had to be something he could say to—

"Get lost, creep!" the girl yelled. When Logan continued to stand there in a daze, she nudged James. "Take him down. Teach him a lesson."

"James, please, give me a second to—"

James was done giving him time. He stepped forward with a fist raised, and Logan knew there was no choice. Taking one last look at the beautiful, if tortured, face above, Logan turned and ran.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N—Here's the weekly update from me! Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! Thank you as always for reading. :)

* * *

Carlos was nowhere to be found. Logan even tried to find Kendall, but since they were probably together that did him no good. He locked himself in a bathroom and tried texting Carlos. There was no answer, so he tried again. And again. Five minutes later the door was being pounded on with urgency so Logan was forced to evacuate. From there he snuck upstairs and found a closet to hide in.

_I should just call Sylvia to come get me. That's the smartest thing to do, get out of here. _

What he would do after that, he had no idea. He'd figure it out once he was in a safe place.

His phone buzzed in the dark closet, startling him. Carlos had finally replied.

"_Im in the kitchen! Where r u?"_

Logan had checked the kitchen three times, figuring Carlos would be near food. At no time was Carlos there.

_Well, he's there now. Maybe he can protect you until Sylvia shows up._

Carlos wasn't any bigger than Logan, but he had spunk. Surely he'd keep Logan safe, if for no other reason than to avoid his mother's wrath.

Getting to the kitchen was easy enough; perhaps nobody inside the house knew of the fiasco outside. He found Carlos devouring an enormous piece of cake without the use of utensils. If Carlos was aware of the frosting smears on his nose and cheek, he paid them no mind. "Dude, where did you go?"

"Where did _you_ go? I looked for you everywhere!"

"We were in the garage checking out Mr. Tinkler's convertible. Man, it's almost worth Kendall dating her just to ride in that thing."

"Kendall's dating her?"

"Nah, I'm just saying he should for that." Another chunk of cake disappeared into the cavern that was Carlos' mouth. "You having fun?"

That was a laugh. "No, actually I was about to text your mom to come get me. I'm sorry, I know you were hoping I'd make new friends, but this isn't really my scene and—"

"Why would I want you to make new friends? Are we not cool enough for you?"

"No, you guys are great, I just mean—"

Kendall stormed into the kitchen. "We have a problem."

Carlos' face fell. "Don't tell me he's wasted again."

"Yep, and he almost started a fight with some dude. Apparently Mandy was egging him on and the only reason he didn't is because the guy ran. We need to get him out of here." Kendall glanced over at Logan but then did a double-take back to Carlos. "You have frosting all over your face."

"What's new?" Carlos shrugged, unbothered. He wolfed the last bite and dropped the paper plate into a trash can, then moved to the sink to wash off. "I told you not to leave him alone, Kendall."

"He was with Mandy! I thought he was fine, that he'd just make out with her and then pass out or something! It's not my fault some random guy picked a fight with him!"

_Some random guy. _ Logan thought he knew who they were talking about and who the random guy was. Just to be sure, though... "Who are you guys talking about?"

Carlos rolled his eyes after reaching for a paper towel. "James. You haven't met him yet, but he's our other best friend. When he's not drunk, he's super cool."

The floor shifted under Logan's feet. _ Our other best friend. Four's a crowd._ Logan remembered Kendall saying that earlier.

"_Don't even think we're gonna make you part of the group. Four's a crowd."_

They were a group. Carlos, Kendall, and...

_No. This isn't happening, this is a nightmare I'm having about the mission, I'm actually in 2212 right now and I'm in my bed having this nightmare before I travel back in time tomorrow because this can't be real. I can't have messed it up so badly already._

"I'm calling a car."

Logan tuned back into the conversation. Apparently his nightmare was going to keep him hostage awhile longer.

"Not your mom?" Carlos asked Kendall.

Kendall shook his head. "No, she can't see James like this. I'll just tell her I'm staying over there. I don't want to leave him alone like this, and Mrs. Diamond's not gonna care."

Logan's heart jumped. _Mrs. Diamond. Brooke._

Carlos hissed, "She can't see him like that either!"

"I'll sneak him in through the back door and get him up to his room. James said she doesn't stay up late anymore."

"True. Okay, get him home safe and then text me. I'm gonna head back with Logan."

Logan argued, "You can stay, you don't have to leave just because I'm going to."

"What fun would it be here without James and Kendall anyway? It's cool, we can have some of those tacos we missed earlier."

"Even though they're chicken?" Logan teased.

"Hey, chicken's still good! Dude, you never tried the pizza! I'll make Mom order some tomorrow for you."

"It's fine." All Logan cared about at the moment was getting out of there, and before James appeared. "I'm gonna go ahead and wait out front for your mom."

Kendall lifted his chin toward Logan. "Nice meeting you. I'll be around."

_I'll just bet you will. _ The warning was clear if you knew to listen for it. "Nice to meet you, too."

Kendall headed out of the kitchen. "Text me!" Carlos called out, watching Kendall until he was out of view. He turned to Logan in time to see him sending a message to Sylvia. "Wait, did you have anything to drink?"

"What?" Logan pocketed the phone after receiving a reply from her.

"Did you drink at all? Beer, anything else?"

"No, I didn't even have water."

"Okay, good. Dad knows when we do, and he always checks me out after parties."

"Checks you out?"

"Yeah, like to make sure I didn't drink. They're serious about that rule, don't test them on it."

Logan nodded. "Well, you're a minor; you shouldn't be drinking anyway."

"Oh god, you sound just like my mom."

"Sorry," Logan chuckled. "She'll be here in a few minutes, by the way. We should go outside and wait."

"Yeah, okay. Kendall can handle James. Even when he's so drunk he can hardly stand. Kendall's awesome."

Logan didn't think James was _that_ drunk, though give him five more minutes and that could change. They were standing on the sidewalk in front of Jenny's house when he asked, "Does James get drunk often?"

"Lately, yeah. He never used to, but..." Carlos looked as if he wanted to confide something, then changed his mind. "He's actually really cool, though. You'll see."

_I saw more than I needed to tonight. _ "And Kendall? How does he get away with drinking?"

"He's smart about it and only has one beer, then waits long enough for it to fade before being around his mom. I tried that once and still got caught. Dad always knows. It's so annoying!"

"It's only because they care, Carlos."

"Stop sounding like Mom! Geez, dude, is this what it's gonna be like with you around? Feeling like Mom's hanging out with us all the time?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure I'll find my own friends and you won't have to put up with me." Of course, the plan had been for _James_ to be his own friend and now he knew that would never work. How was it possible that James' best friends were jocks? Surely there had to be a secret side to him that he kept hidden for the sake of appearance. Logan just had to find that hidden side.

"Why do you keep saying that? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Logan answered, confused. "Why do you think there's something wrong?"

"Because you keep talking like you don't want to hang around us. I know you're like...this nerd who's not used to people and stuff, but we can be pretty cool. Kendall and James are the greatest. You won't find better friends than them, and they'll always have your back."

Somehow Logan doubted that, as neither appeared to want him around. Without giving away too much of Kendall's prejudice, Logan admitted, "Well, you mentioned that Kendall doesn't like other people hanging around."

"So? You're my brother. He gets it. He's got a little sister that's annoying sometimes but when she's with us, we're cool about it. He'll be cool with you, too."

Carlos seemed to be obsessed with the word "cool." Logan found it endearing, if a bit tiresome. "Let's just see how it goes, okay? Your mom said you'd help me adjust at school tomorrow, but I'm not going to take it personally if you don't. You have your friends and your life and I don't want to intrude on that."

There was a pause before Carlos asked, "You don't have any brothers or sisters, do you?"

"Obviously."

"Even if I didn't know, I'd know. Because you don't understand how family works. You're family, and we take care of each other. Tomorrow, you're with us. Kendall can just deal with it."

Great, more reasons for Kendall to resent him. Logan didn't even want to think about _James'_ reaction to "meeting" him.

Maybe Logan could just hide under the covers all day.

* * *

Sylvia's tacos were so good that Logan helped himself to four. He would've felt bad about it except that Carlos put away six, and that on top of whatever pizza he'd had at the party—not to mention the cake. Logan's mother would've been shocked to see her son eat so much because in his own time he tended to use food as nourishment more than anything else, not taking joy out of it. In this time, everything _tasted _so good. He knew it was due to the unhealthy fats and preservatives, but while swallowing his last bite of taco, he didn't particularly care.

He was also introduced to Mr. Garcia ("Call me Papi!"), who came across like an older, more energetic version of his son. The man greeted Logan with a bear hug before inviting him to "Consider me a dad in every aspect. I know it's a rough time for you but I want you to know you're not alone. When you're ready, we're here to accept you as family." Though the police uniform he still wore gave off a bit of a menacing vibe, he was all smiles as he asked about the party and then used an actual breathalyzer on them.

Not that he'd been tempted, but Logan was glad he hadn't partaken of alcohol. He sensed that when the man wanted to, he could be an extremely strict disciplinarian.

Carlos graciously allowed Logan to shower first; even though he'd showered earlier in the afternoon, his mother insisted that he do it again. Logan's stomach felt like it might burst as he luxuriated in the hot, freely flowing water that rinsed away more than just dirt. By the time he was finished, his muscles were relaxed and he felt a pleasant drowsiness descending.

When he returned to the bedroom, he was relieved to see his backpack nowhere in sight; this meant Carlos hadn't found it. He'd have to keep it hidden under the bed and only retrieve it from there when he was alone.

Carlos stood up and stretched. "Here, Mom said you needed pajamas. There's a pair of sweats and a t-shirt on your bed."

Logan had put on his original outfit after showering. "Thanks," he replied, touched. "I promise I'll get my own clothes soon."

"It's no big deal, we wear the same size. Just don't do anything gross in them."

Logan didn't even want to know. "What time do you leave for school in the morning?"

"Mom will get us up. She makes breakfast, too. Ooo, I bet we'll get pancakes since you're here. She always goes all out for the new kid."

"How can you even think of food right now? I'm so full." Logan fell onto the mattress, reclining against pillows and then wondering if he'd made a mistake because he didn't ever want to move again.

"Me too, but I regret nothing. Those tacos were bomb!"

_I'll assume "bomb" is a good thing._ Logan bit his lip. "So uh...did you hear from Kendall?"

"Yeah, they made it up to James' room without being caught. He said James is passed out right now but he's gonna wake him up later and clean him up."

"Clean him up? Did he...what's there to clean up?"

"I guess James lost his lunch once they got upstairs. I'm _so_ glad I'm not the one taking care of him right now."

Logan had so many questions. How was it possible that the man he'd grown up idolizing was such a mess?

"Anyway, I'm gonna go shower before Mom comes to yell at me. Try to stay awake so we can talk!"

That wouldn't be a problem. "I'll do my best. Thanks again for...I don't know. Being a brother, I guess?"

"It's cool, I get lonely sometimes so having you here is awesome. Don't fall asleep!"

The quiet that settled once Carlos left the room was suffocating, which was weird since Logan normally preferred solitude. He forced himself to sit up and used the time alone to change into Carlos' clean but worn sleepwear, then glanced at the door. Should he risk locking it? If he got caught, they'd be suspicious.

_Just be quick about it._

Logan slid his backpack out from under the bed and removed the small laptop and tablet he'd purchased earlier in the day, along with the assorted charging accessories. His phone would need to be charged soon, too. In preparation for the following day, he removed his fake birth certificate and transcripts from his "previous" high school, setting those on the nightstand before rethinking that decision. Carlos was a slob, and no doubt they'd be covered in something food-related if he wasn't careful.

He opened the top drawer of the nightstand to find it stuffed with snacks and more comic books. There was also a thin photo album. Logan pulled it out and paged through pictures of the Garcia family with a succession of different children over the years. Most of them were boys, but here and there were a few younger girls. He wondered if _he'd_ make it into the album.

The bottom drawer was empty. It was possible that Carlos kept that one clear for his adopted roommates, but even if that wasn't the case Logan was going to commandeer it for himself. He dropped the devices and his paperwork into the drawer. It wasn't hard to find a place to plug in his charger, so he did that and hid the backpack again before climbing into bed. Scooting down under the blankets felt like heaven. Today had been a very long day.

_You woke up this morning in the future, Logan. Two hundred years from today. Now you're here and everything's fucked. Your one goal was to become friends with James Diamond. Instead, he hates you. Within thirty seconds of meeting you, he hated you. Then you made it worse by staring at him while he was making out with a girl. Way to go, Future Boy._

What was he going to do? How could he fix this? He'd probably have a chance to do that tomorrow, as long as James socialized with Carlos and Kendall at school. But considering what Logan knew of his intellect, maybe at school James was a different person. Kept the company of more intelligent students.

_Students like me. _ Logan could only hope.

Even so, the second he saw Logan he would want to be nowhere near him. That was going to be tough to get past.

_Maybe I'm just supposed to observe him from a distance. I guess as long as I know he's turning in that assignment, that's good enough. I don't have to be with him every second._

But the enemy would. If the enemy was coming soon (or even worse, was here already), Logan would bet that person would be joined to James' hip. It's what he'd do in that position.

_What if he_ is_ already here? I can't trust anybody. Carlos should be fine, he's obviously been in this time his whole life. The pictures in that album prove it. They wouldn't send back a young child. Obviously Mr. and Mrs. Garcia are fine, too. And Brooke._

Who else was close to James? Was there a father in the picture? This Mandy girl (Logan shuddered thinking about her) was probably his girlfriend. She'd need to be checked out. As would everyone on the hockey team, because the enemy knew about that. Sending someone back in time to join the hockey team would actually be extremely smart.

And then there was Kendall.

How long had Kendall been around? Sure, he was best friends with Carlos and James, but that didn't mean he'd always been. And just why _was_ he so dead set against new people getting close to them?

_Carlos is easy to dupe. If I was the enemy, I'd come back here and work my way into James' inner circle, take care of him to make it so he'd always want me around. Kendall's the perfect person to—_

Logan sat up straight in bed. Kendall was alone with James_ right now_. Yes, Brooke was in the house, but she had no idea they were even home. Now would be the perfect time to take James out.

"_Lately, yeah. He never used to, but..."_

Just when _had_ James started drinking so much he passed out? Who got him to this point? How easy would it be to set up a pattern of him getting so wasted he passed out, then one day he just overdoes it and "What a tragedy, he was so young. So brilliant. He had such potential."

Logan's body went cold just thinking about it. Kendall could definitely be his nemesis.

The door swung open. Carlos hadn't even closed it before Logan asked, "How long have you known Kendall?"

"Kendall?" Carlos tossed his dirty clothes in the general direction of his open closet. "Forever, why?"

"Define 'forever.'"

"Like...I don't know, since we were little? We met in peewee hockey."

Logan blinked. "Peewee is...?"

Carlos gave him a funny look. "Like kindergarten, dude. Five years old."

"Oh." Relief flooded Logan. "So..._forever_ forever."

"Yeah, that's what I said." Carlos stretched out on his bed with a loud groan of satisfaction. "This is my favorite part of every day. I love sleep." When Logan didn't respond, he asked, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you asking about Kendall?"

"Oh, I'm just curious. You guys seem close."

"Well, friends forever and all."

"Right. What about Mandy?"

"Mandy? The girl at the party?"

"Yeah. Is she James' girlfriend?"

"Ha, James with a girlfriend? That's a laugh."

Was it? Logan turned over onto his side to face Carlos. "Why? Doesn't he like girls?"

"Oh, he _loves_ girls. But he treats them like crap. He couldn't keep a girlfriend if he tried. Plus he gets bored."

"Bored how?"

"I don't know, he just loses interest after a few dates. Moves on to someone new. Mandy thinks she's going to prom with him but he'll be over her long before then."

Logan almost felt sorry for Mandy. Then he remembered her inane rambling about the mall and dresses. "So she's just one of a long list of girls passing through?"

"They all are, Logan. He can snap his fingers and get a date. He just can't keep a girlfriend."

That was interesting. Maybe he lost interest because his true passion lied in men.

_Stop it, Logan. He loses interest because his passion is science and medicine. Girls without a brain can't hold his attention._

"And you've known James for...?"

"Ever. We all met in hockey. We've been The Three Amigos since we were five years old."

Logan chuckled. "The Three Amigos?"

"Yeah, like that old movie. Let me guess, you've never seen it."

"Sorry."

"Eh, I haven't either. Dad called us that once, he loves the movie. So now that's what we are."

"Which explains why Kendall doesn't want a fourth member. You guys are perfect as a trio."

Now Carlos turned onto his right in order to study Logan. "Did he say that? Is that why he wanted to talk to you alone?"

Logan could've lied, but why bother? Maybe Carlos wasn't as dense as he seemed. "Pretty much."

"Dammit, I told him to be nice to you! I don't know why he's always rude to my brothers!"

"He feels threatened, obviously. Like we're going to shift the dynamic or steal you away."

"Kendall? Threatened? No way. Kendall's not afraid of anything."

"I think he's afraid of losing you."

"Pfft. He's crazy, I'd never abandon him. It's not like he couldn't find a cooler friend to take my place. I'm just lucky he lets me be part of their group."

Logan frowned. "Is that really how you feel? Like you're not as good as them?"

"Come on, dude, think about it. Well, maybe you don't get it because you don't know them. You haven't even met James, so you don't understand. They're both like...the coolest guys in school. I mean, Kendall's captain of the team and James is co-captain."

"And you're the best goaltender in the state, from what I hear."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Mom exaggerates."

"Does Kendall?"

Carlos' brows drew together. "Does Kendall what?"

"Exaggerate. It was he who told me that."

Logan thought he could actually _see_ Carlos' breath stop. "He said that? Tonight?"

"He sure did."

"Whoa. He thinks I'm the best?"

"Apparently."

Carlos rolled over onto his back to stare up at the ceiling in awe. "Wow." Suddenly he reached out to turn off the lamp between them.

"So don't think you're not cool enough to be part of their group. I don't know about James, but Kendall definitely values you."

"Thanks, man. For telling me. That's like...the best thing anyone's ever told me."

"Glad I could help." Logan followed a niggling suspicion that would partly explain Kendall's behavior if true. "Does Kendall have a girlfriend?"

"He wishes," Carlos quipped.

"So that's a no? Does he try?"

"Well sure, we all do. James is the only one who ever gets anywhere, though."

"Why do you think that is?"

"He's hot. All the girls think so."

"What do _you_ think?"

"I guess," Carlos shrugged. "Not really my type, though."

"Right, your type is blond. Athletic. Fiercely protective and loyal."

Carlos was quiet as he considered that. Logan let him decide whether to open up or not. Finally Carlos joked, "You know anyone like that? Send her my way."

"I do. Just met someone like that tonight, in fact. But I don't need to do anything, because you two are already well-acquainted."

Carlos' shallow breathing traveled across the space between their beds. "We should go to sleep."

"Carlos, it's okay. I don't judge. Does he know how you feel?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." Carlos turned over onto his left side, away from Logan.

"I think I do. And maybe if you'd just tell him, he'd—"

Carlos threw off the covers and sat up. "What? Fall to his knees and tell me he feels the same way? No, Logan, that's a dream world. That's never gonna happen. And you need to keep your mouth shut because if he ever knew how I feel, he'd hate me. He's into _girls_, dude. So is James. They'd never understand and they'd think I'm a freak so just...shut up. They can't ever know!"

If that was true, Logan thought Carlos could pick better friends. He knew that in the future James would donate to all manner of charities, with LGBTQ groups not being excluded. Once he grew up a little, James would be a model human being. Somewhere inside that hormonally-charged teenager who currently made bad choices was a heart and mind that Logan had fallen in love with. He just had to get inside and draw them out. "Carlos, give them some credit. Would they really abandon you after so many years?"

"It's not worth the risk. They're the best friends I've ever had and I'm not losing them."

"Do you actually like girls then, or—"

"I don't know, I've never been with one! But one day they'll get real girlfriends and I can't be the only one without a girl or I'll get left out, so I have to work on that now."

"But what if—"

"Stop talking about it! Change the subject or I'm going to sleep!"

"Fine." He'd come back to this later, once he'd learned more about Kendall. First he needed to learn about James. "Can we talk about James?"

Carlos laid back down. "What about him?"

"I'm just curious. You talk about him like he's this...god or something."

"You'll get it when you meet him. He's so cool."

"In what way?"

"I don't know, he just is. He's so popular."

"Because of his intelligence?"

Carlos snorted. "Yeah, sure, dude. That's why. Because of his_ intelligence_."

The corners of Logan's mouth turned down. "Why is that funny?"

"Are you kidding? The only person who does worse than me in school is James. If it wasn't for Katie, we would've flunked out by now."

That couldn't be right. Surely Carlos was mistaken. "Who's Katie?"

"Kendall's little sister. We pay her to help us with our homework and projects. She's done a few for us but we don't ask for that a lot because she charges us a ton for the whole thing. Plus we don't want to get caught. Mama Knight would kill us if she found out!"

Logan's stomach was turning. This had to be a joke. "So...this Katie does assignments for James sometimes?"

"If he pays her enough, sure. She's really smart."

Logan swallowed. "_How_ smart?"

"Smarter than us, which is good enough."

He was going to be sick. James Diamond paid someone else to do his work for him? But no, that couldn't be right. Logan knew that it was James who accomplished all those medical breakthroughs after high school. It was _his_ team, he was the head of it, and Logan had seen enough pictures of the team to know both were male. For whatever reason, James preferred to work with men.

_And you know now it wasn't because he had an aversion to females. Nope, he seems to like them just fine._

He had to calm down. Surely there was a brain inside that beautiful head. Logan had seen video, had heard James discussing his theories and breakthroughs. There was no doubt they'd come from James himself. And even if they hadn't? He was smart enough to know what he was talking about. He'd given speeches, for Pete's sake!

_Relax. That brain is in there. Find it, Logan. Dig it out. Help him reach his potential._

That would begin with understanding him. "James lives with his mother? No dad?"

"Yeah, his dad left a few years back. They got divorced. James doesn't like to talk about his dad, so don't ask."

Good to know. But there had been a father. Why wasn't that ever mentioned in books about him? Why wasn't _any_ of his childhood known? "Is him mom uh...everything's okay?"

"He doesn't like to talk about that, either. Seriously, Logan, don't ask about his family when you meet him. Not unless you want him to hate you."

_Yeah, too late to prevent that. _ So Brooke was definitely still alive, and it sounded like James either wasn't close to her or the opposite—he was, and not dealing with her cancer well at all.

Carlos yawned so loudly it startled Logan. "I need sleep, man. Too many tacos."

"And pizza. And cake."

"That was hours ago. Sorry you missed out. The pizza wasn't that great, but the cake? I could've eaten three pieces."

_You practically did. _ "Goodnight, Carlos. Thank you for taking me along tonight."

"That's what family does, Logan! And I meant what I said. Don't you dare tell anyone what we talked about. Don't even mention it again!"

"I still think—"

"Nuh uh! Zip it! Never gonna happen!"

"Okay. I heard nothing and you _don't _have a crush on Kendall."

"Don't say it like that! That's the sort of thing Mom would say."

Of course. Logan had come two hundred years back in time to sound like a middle-aged woman.

_Well, at least I'll get along great with Brooke. I bet she could tell me plenty about James._

Logan fell asleep trying not to fear the following day. Who knew he'd ever be at a point where he dreaded seeing James Diamond?


	6. Chapter 6

A/N—Welcome back to another chapter! We've moved on to Logan's second day in the past now, which will hopefully go better for him. I so appreciate the kind words in your reviews, and thank you even if you're just reading. :)

Sidenote: I'm hosting (is that the right word?) the current Valentine's Day challenge for the BTR Plot Adoption Forum. We'd love to see anyone participate, everyone is welcome! All you have to do is write a story (of any length) containing love. If you're interested, message me and I'll link you to the page for more information. Hope to see some of you there! :D

And now on to the chapter!

* * *

Carlos was right about the pancakes, which were better than any breakfast Logan had ever eaten_ in his entire life. _ He knew better than to weigh himself down into sluggishness, though, and limited himself to three. Carlos, of course, devoured six.

Logan was told that Carlos usually walked to school with his buddies (Logan thought he knew exactly who those buddies were), but because it was Logan's first day he was going to accompany his new brother and make sure he didn't get lost. Logan wasn't worried about that; he was excellent with direction. Still, it was nice to know he wouldn't be facing a new horizon completely alone.

Because the school was so used to Sylvia enrolling foster children, the secretary barely even looked at the paperwork he'd brought along. Logan had been worried that the school would follow up on the information and find that no one from that school had any recollection of him. Instead, the secretary made a paper copy of his birth certificate and filed that and the transcripts away in a manila folder with his name on it.

His only request was that he take biology fourth period. When he was given an odd look, he shared that biology tended to gross him out and he needed to take the class before lunch so his stomach would be empty. Couldn't take it too early either for that reason, so fourth period was perfect. The secretary shrugged and made it happen.

In truth, Logan knew that fourth period biology was the class that James would be turning in that assignment. The teacher had mentioned it in an interview, yet stated nothing else about her star pupil. Logan had found it odd upon his first read—shouldn't an article about the incredible breakthrough James made include details about him as a person? Or as a student, at the very least? But it hadn't; as with everything else from this time, James' personal information was glossed over.

Sylvia hugged Logan and wished him well before parting. She did the same to Carlos, then reminded Logan that if school was too difficult for him at the moment, he could always call her to come get him. The fact that she'd be willing to leave work for a "son" she hardly knew did something to Logan's heart, and he reached out for a second hug.

"Thank you. I'm so grateful you were chosen to be my family."

"So are we, sweetie." She stepped back. "Carlos? Look out for him."

"I will, Ma, relax! Logan, we gotta go. The bell's about to ring and I still need to help you find your first class!"

"They gave me a map, Carlos," Logan reminded him after a final wave to Sylvia. "I'll be okay."

"That's what you think. That map got me lost on my first day here."

For Logan, it was Carlos who got him lost. The bell rang and Logan sent him off to his own class with a sigh of relief before looking at the nearby rooms to figure out his location. Once he did that, finding the proper room was a piece of cake.

"Remind me to never ask Carlos for directions," he said under his breath as he pulled open the door of his classroom.

For the first time in his life, Logan found school boring. He already knew everything being taught in the classes, and in the case of second period world history he actually scoffed at the textbook's information. In less than a hundred years, humanity would know it was incorrect based on historical findings dating back two millennia.

For now, though (and probably for the rest of his life), Logan would have to keep all of that to himself and go along with the current beliefs. True/false tests might trip him up, but he only had to do this for a few more months. Once James turned in that assignment, Logan was free to do as he pleased and go wherever he wanted; he'd done his part and saved the world.

He'd been trying not to think too much about fourth period and the imminent run-in with James. He needed a plan, but whenever he thought about the way James had glared at him the night before and the cold steel in those hazel eyes, he felt a panic attack starting to take root.

_You'll have to apologize. That's a good way to start, tell him it was a misunderstanding and you weren't mocking him._

That didn't explain the way Logan's gaze had been glued to him in awe (and other things), but it was a start.

Logan reached the classroom first. After checking in with Mrs. Simmons (and wow, to meet another person he'd read about in the future!), he was directed to a desk in the back corner that hadn't been assigned. Students filed in, Logan furtively studying each one before dismissing them because they weren't James. When the bell eventually rang and still James hadn't made an appearance, panic mode set in again.

_What if it was a misprint in the article? What if something got twisted over time? I need to be in this class with him, it's imperative to the mission!_

Logan had just about decided to escape and come up with a way to hack into the school's records when his target stumbled in. Five minutes late to class and glaring at anyone who dared to look at him, James found his way to an empty desk about halfway back on the other side of the room and then rested his forehead on a hand as if his head was pounding.

_Considering how much you drank last night, it probably is._

"Thank you for joining us, Mr. Diamond," Mrs. Simmons said in a falsely sweet voice. "We're on page 215."

James grunted an acknowledgement and struggled to dig out his textbook, then opened it to the right page before returning to his former position. Logan continued to watch, which was easy from his vantage point in the back, and noted that James was having difficulty staying awake.

In all of his fantasies about sharing a class with James, Logan had never imagined it might play out this way—James hungover and not caring in the slightest what Mrs. Simmons had to say about genetics. So far nothing regarding James had gone to plan. Logan had to find a way to understand him, to get close enough to James to unlock the genius inside.

Carlos had promised to text him at lunch so he could join "the gang" at their usual spot in the quad. Logan could only assume that James would be part of that gang, so he'd have an opportunity to speak to James then. Would it end badly, though? Would James remember him as the "pervert" from the night before and demand that he leave?

His thought process was interrupted by Mrs. Simmons speaking James' name. "James? Do you know the answer?"

James shook his head, not lifting it to look at her.

Mrs. Simmons nodded as if she'd expected that. "I'd like to see you at my desk after class. Veronica?"

Veronica rattled off the correct answer. James continued to sit there, zoned out. Logan wondered what was going through his head.

"Logan, you're up."

Logan jolted to find Mrs. Simmons staring at him, as well as half the class. _Don't look over, James, please don't look over. I'm not ready to face you yet!_

He needn't have worried; James had no interest in anything going on around him.

"I know this is your first day here and you might not have covered this yet at your old school, but how many chromosomes does the human body have?"

Habit had him almost ruining it; he stopped himself just short of responding "forty-eight" and amended it to, "Uh, forty-six." The last pair, which would be injected at birth and would make it possible for the vaccines to take root and never need replenishing, hadn't been created yet. And the way James was currently hunched over his desk made Logan wonder if that pair would, in fact, be created at all.

_Come on, James, I know you're in there. Show me the side of you I fell in love with. Show me the genius!_

"That's correct. Thank you, Logan!" Mrs. Simmons favored him with a bright smile before moving on.

As usual, Logan would excel in school. He would've thought James Diamond would also be a subject he'd excel in.

So far...not so good.

* * *

Logan took his time packing up after class, curious to hear what Mrs. Simmons wanted to discuss with James. Probably something along the lines of his lack of participation.

He was too far away to hear anything, so he inched closer as if waiting to speak to the teacher.

"I know you only have a few months left, James, but you still need to try. I remember when you were actually interested in what I had to say. What happened to you?"

Aha! James _had_ been interested in biology! There was hope.

"Sorry," James muttered. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

Mrs. Simmons seemed to choose her next words delicately. "I'm aware of your situation and I'm sorry. If you ever need to talk—"

"I don't," James snarled. _Now_ he was awake. "It's fine. That has nothing to do with anything."

"Okay. If you're not comfortable with me, there's a guidance counselor who's more than happy to—"

"Can I go now?"

Mrs. Simmons sighed. "James, I'm just trying to help." There was no response as James stared past her. "You can go. But I'm warning you now that something needs to change or you won't pass my class."

"Whatever."

He stormed out, both Logan and Mrs. Simmons watching in sadness. So much potential going down the drain.

* * *

"_We're in the quad. The corner by the library! Go get food and meet us there."_

Carlos' text sent a thrill through Logan. He had yet to explore the library, and the prospect of a large room full of actual books on paper was enough to make him want to pee his pants in excitement.

That would have to wait, though. Sylvia had given him lunch money with apologies because apparently she usually provided lunch for her children. Logan had no complaints when perusing the cafeteria's choices. He ended up with chicken nuggets, a slice of pizza (which he knew Carlos would be happy to see him try), chocolate pudding, and a bottle of clean water. He didn't even mind having to pay for it this time.

Carlos and Kendall were easy enough to find. Kendall offered him a nod and returned to his bagged lunch. Carlos scooted over to make room on the tiered steps. "I love it when Mom doesn't have time to make lunch! Look, I got chimichangas! You gotta try this, Logan. It's beef!"

It was some sort of tortilla-wrapped...something. Logan thought he could stomach it. "What else is inside?" he asked as he sat. James was nowhere in sight.

"Cheese! Here, have a bite! Ooo, you got pizza! And chocolate pudding, it's so good here! I got some, too. Kendall, I got you one."

Kendall smiled, and it brightened his face. "Thanks, man. You can have a cookie."

"Awesome, Mama Knight makes the _best_ cookies." He gasped and added, "Logan, don't tell Mom I said that or she won't make hers anymore. Mrs. Knight's _are_ better, but Mom's are still pretty good."

"Your secret's safe with me," Logan chuckled.

"How's your first day?" Carlos asked through a mouthful of pudding.

"Okay, I guess. Just typical school stuff. Oh, thanks." Logan took the proffered chimichanga and bit into it. His taste buds exploded in ecstasy. "This is beef? Beef is amazing."

"_So_ amazing," Carlos agreed. He snagged his lunch back and took a huge bite. "Where's James? Don't tell me he's eating with Mandy again."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Better than her eating with us. He texted me that he's trying to get his mom to call the school and say he has a doctor appointment so he can take off. He's seriously hungover after last night."

Carlos shook his head. "His own fault for drinking that much. But it was your job to—"

"No, James is practically an adult and it's not my job to babysit him," Kendall argued. He sighed and added, "I just wish he'd talk to us. I know what he must be feeling and the alcohol isn't helping him cope with it."

"So you think he's just...what, trying to block it out?" Carlos wondered.

"Something like that. I tried talking to him last night when he got out of the shower and he shut down. Yelled at me like he always does when we mention it."

Logan continued to focus on his meal while listening closely to everything said about James. James was obviously going through something, and Logan figured it probably had to do with Brooke. Just how far advanced was the cancer at this point?

Carlos made a frustrated noise. "He's been such a jerk lately. Ever since—" He paused at a kick from Kendall, which was then followed by a glance in Logan's direction.

Logan could take a hint. It wasn't like James was here at the moment, anyway; he had no reason to be, either. "Look, I'll just go check out the library. Want my pizza, Carlos?"

"No, come on man, we want you here!"

Kendall's glare told Logan otherwise. "It's fine, I've been meaning to go see it anyway. Here." He'd made quick work of the nuggets, so he tossed the pudding cup in his backpack and shoved his plate of pizza toward Carlos.

"Wait, you actually _want_ to go to the library? Like...for fun?"

"Some people actually enjoy books, Carlos. I'll catch you after school."

"Logan, don't be like that! Kendall, tell him to stay!"

"Why would he listen to me?" Kendall asked.

_Because it's you who doesn't want me here._ But it really was fine. Logan wasn't going to miss anything.

_Except more talk about James. I need to hear that._

Then again, with him around Kendall wasn't going to divulge anything personal—or let Carlos do it. What did it matter? And why was this so hard? It was supposed to be easy: find James, make friends.

The first part had been. The second...not so much.

Logan was about to stand even through Carlos' protests, but then a shadow fell over him and he looked up. James' leg brushed against his shoulder in passing and Logan had to work hard to hide a shiver. On the step above him and Carlos, Kendall moved over and James sank down. His backpack landed near Logan and his head dropped into his hands. He hadn't seen Logan yet, but once he did...

Logan was a tight ball of nerves as Carlos' pleading dropped away and Kendall spoke up. "Hey. You doing okay?"

"I want to die."

Carlos reached out to shove James' leg. "Shut up, you do not. That's what you get for drinking like that. You should be smart like Kendall and only have one beer."

James lifted his head up just long enough to glare at Carlos before the fingers of his right hand closed—all except the middle finger, which remained straight up. Carlos shrugged in a "you know I'm right" manner.

Logan was torn between wanting to make peace with James and praying he wouldn't be noticed. He sensed now was not a good time to offer an apology. Or...if he was lucky, maybe James wouldn't even remember the night before!

_Please please please let that be the case. We can start over, I can be introduced as Carlos' brother and he'll at least accept my presence for Carlos' sake. _

"What did your mom say?" Kendall tried.

"I don't know. She said she'd call but she can't come get me." James still sounded like death, his voice muffled from behind his hands.

Carlos suggested, "You could walk. It's not far."

"My head is pounding," James complained. "A walk would kill me."

Kendall shook his head. "I don't want him walking alone, anyway. I can go with you."

"Kendall, you can't miss class again!" Carlos reminded him. "Remember what Mr. Hobart said last time?"

"Dammit," Kendall muttered. "Can you like...call a car? Would your mom pay for that?"

"I don't know," James sighed. His shoulders dropped. "I just want to sleep."

"I'd use my mom's account," Kendall offered, "but then she'll ask why I needed a car. I guess I could just say you were feeling sick."

Through a bite of cookie, Carlos commented, "She'll know the truth. She told me last weekend that she's worried about James because she knows he's been drinking lately. Tried to pump me for information about him, like to make sure he's okay."

"Fuck." James rubbed his face. "Then she'll tell _my_ mom, and...God, I can't do this. I feel like I'm gonna hurl and my head is gonna explode and—"

The answer became clear to Logan in a flash, the same way answers to medical and mathematical problems sometimes did. "I can call Sylvia. She said she'd come get me if I needed her." It was perfect, the absolute perfect way to help both James and himself. This would give him time alone to actually _talk _to James.

James' hands fell away. He blinked a few times while taking in Logan as if he hadn't even noticed him before. "And _who _are you?"

_He doesn't remember. Oh my god, this is fantastic! He doesn't remember!_

Carlos sat up straighter with a smile. "James, this is my new brother Logan! The one whose parents died in that fire?"

Kendall kicked Carlos again, but this time Logan thought it was for his benefit and was glad to see Kendall at least had _some_ consideration for his feelings. "Dude, have some compassion. He doesn't need to be reminded of it."

Carlos' face fell. "Oh, sorry, Logan. I didn't even think about...yeah."

"It's okay. I promise." He offered Carlos a tiny smile to underscore the words. "But uh...I can tell Sylvia I need to leave. And...you know. James could come with me. I'm assuming you live in the area?" He was still afraid to meet James' eyes.

"He's on the way," Carlos shared. "That could work!"

Kendall was shaking his head again. "I still don't want you alone, James. Logan. I need you to stay with him. At least until after school when we can get there."

Logan's eyebrows shot up. _Oh, twist my arm. _ "Sure. If Sylvia thinks he's sick, she'll let him stay, right?"

"For sure," Carlos nodded. "James, you cool with that? You can sleep in my bed until we get home. And I bet Mom will make you soup since you're 'sick.' Man, you are so lucky."

James had been vaguely following the conversation. He turned his attention to Logan again. "And you're...who?"

Dealing with James was going to take patience. Much, much patience. "I'm Logan. Carlos' brother." He held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Right. I remember now." James ignored the hand and stood up slowly. "Just get me out of here and to a bed."

Oh, how Logan had fantasized about James using words like that on him. And yet...never in this way. "Sure, let me just call Sylvia."

The other three stayed silent while he conversed with her. Carlos made it through the entire piece of pizza in the thirty seconds before Logan hung up and turned back to them. "Okay, she said she can pick us up right now but she can't stay at the house because she has a meeting in an hour. She feels really bad about it."

"Nice, that means she'll try to make it up to you," Carlos grinned. "We're so getting that pizza for dinner."

"You just ate pizza," Kendall pointed out. "_And_ last night. Aren't you tired of it yet?"

"Pfft. It's _pizza_, Kendall."

Logan cleared his throat and stood. "Guess we're going. Um...James? You good to walk to the front of the school?"

"It's right there, I'm not a fucking invalid."

"Right." Logan couldn't wait for James to grow up a little. "Okay, then uh...see you guys later."

"I need the bathroom first. Meet you there." James studied Logan one more time, probably to make sure he knew who to look for. "I feel like I know you."

"No way," Carlos argued. "This is his first day here. Go home and sleep, James."

"Whatever." He stormed off toward the office and Logan let out a breath of relief. That had been too close.

Kendall rose and hopped down to the next tier. "Let me walk you there, buddy." He slung an arm over Logan's shoulder. "Just so you don't get lost."

Logan sighed. There was no way Kendall was accompanying him out of the goodness of his heart.

"Kendall," Carlos warned.

"What? Can't a friend help another friend out? Just stay here and guard the food."

_That _Carlos could do. "See ya, Logan. Thanks for taking care of James. I promise, he's usually much nicer."

Kendall snorted. "Yeah, okay."

"Well at least he's not usually a jackass to my brothers! He's just...going through some stuff."

"It's okay," Logan nodded. "I've been through some stuff myself. I know what it's like."

"See if you can get him talking. Kendall says he needs to talk about it."

Kendall dragged Logan away quickly after that. They'd cleared the steps before Kendall said, "So."

"I know what you're going to say, and I will make sure to treat him right."

"You'd better, because he really is going through a lot. It's not my place to tell you, but...now that I think about it, you might be better equipped to help him through this shit than either of us. Since you've...you know. Been through things."

Kendall's arm was still around his shoulders, hand squeezing tight in warning. "I'll see what I can do. He's really not in the mood to talk, though. Not right now."

"No, but once the hangover wears off maybe it'll be better. You said you're coming to the game tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. I'd planned to."

"Good. We always go out afterward. If we win, it's to celebrate. If we don't, it's to get our minds off it. I'm sure Carlos will want you there, so...we'll see how that goes. Just stay with him today, okay? Get him into bed, let him sleep. If he yells at you, don't take it personally; he's a dick when he's not feeling well. And here." Kendall stopped walking to pull out his phone and pass it to Logan. "Put your number in so I can text you and check on him."

"Oh. Sure." Logan was oddly flattered by the request. He knew it was only out of worry for James that Kendall wanted his number, but it still felt like a step toward acceptance. Logan input the digits he'd memorized.

"Thanks." Kendall took the phone back and tapped at it. "There, I just sent you a text. Now you have my number, so let me know if anything goes wrong. I'm um..." It seemed like Kendall was hesitant to finish the thought. "I'm worried about him," he finally admitted. "He's like a brother to me and it's killing me to see him like this. I wish you'd come before all the sadness, because Carlos is right. James is actually pretty cool when he's in his right mind."

"I believe that," Logan replied with feeling. "I'll do what I can to help him get back there."

Kendall nodded. He looked everywhere but at Logan, as if to do so would break him. "Just take care of him. Because if you don't, I know where to find you."

"Right, because my entire purpose here is to harm all of you." Logan rolled his eyes. "You don't have to threaten me, Kendall. I swear that my priority is to keep James safe."

"Good. Here he comes. Don't tell him what I said."

"I won't."

Kendall clapped James on the back once he joined them. "Just get some rest, okay buddy? We'll be there after school."

"Fine, but if I'm asleep? Let's keep it that way."

"Deal," Kendall chuckled. "I'm gonna head back before Carlos eats all my cookies."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Logan laughed. He waved at Kendall. He was nervous about being alone with James. What if James remembered where they'd met before?

"So uh...what was your name again?"

Logan's eyes fell shut. _Patience, Logan. He's not in his right mind._ "Logan."

"Right. Logan. I don't want to talk, okay? My head is killing me and I just want to sleep. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course. Anything you need." Logan stopped himself from adding "Mr. Diamond" to that. It didn't matter that James was younger than him (in a manner of speaking, at least), he still felt like he should be worshiping the man. "Just let me know. _James._"

"I just did. Shut up."

Logan wasn't going to let the surly tone get to him. He knew that somewhere inside was the man he'd come to idolize, and he was going to find him.

* * *

To his credit, James answered Sylvia's probing questions in a polite manner. It was clear to Logan that James would rather just tune her out, but he apparently had enough respect for her to put up with the well-meaning concerns. He claimed he'd eaten something at breakfast that made him sick. She clucked her tongue and said, "How many times do I have to tell you, James? Come early and eat with Carlos, you're always welcome."

After that she allowed him to rest his head against the window and close his eyes. Logan kept a watch on him in the minivan's side mirror.

"And how about you, honey? Was anyone mean to you?"

Besides James and Kendall? Not really. "No, it was just hard. I thought I was ready to go to school and lose myself in the distraction. Guess not."

Sylvia reached over to pat his hand. "That's okay. It might be easier for you to study and take the exit exam now. I know kids can be cruel and you're not used to public school."

"I actually enjoyed being in a classroom. And the teachers were nice."

"Good. I'm sorry I can't stay with you boys; this meeting is an important one for our team, it's about a new system upgrade that's supposedly going to make our lives easier. We'll see. Are you going to be okay at the house?"

"Of course. I'll probably just sleep, too. I didn't get much last night."

"I understand. You'll get used to the new house and Carlos' snoring."

Logan chuckled. "He does snore, doesn't he?"

"He's supposed to wear these strips I bought him but he never does. I'm sorry. I'll talk to him."

"It wasn't really that that kept me awake." _It was the gorgeous asshole in the backseat. _ "Actually, Carlos mentioned you normally make soup when someone is sick?"

"Yes, but I can't today. Unless you want it for dinner?"

"I was thinking more about James. I know a good recipe for some soup." He totally didn't, he was going to use Google and pray she had the right ingredients in the house. "Would you mind if I used some of your food to do that?"

"Oh honey, no, of course not! It's your food, too. Just let me know what you use so I can replace it." She smiled over at him. "You really are a blessing to our family."

Logan shook his head. "You guys are the blessing. I'm just grateful to have somewhere to live."

"For as long as you want, Logan. It's your home."

And soon he'd be alone in that home with James. He was determined not to let James sleep the entire time.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N—Not much to say here, but hi and I hope you're all having a fantastic week! :D Enjoy the chapter. :)

* * *

Once locked away inside the empty house, James headed straight for Carlos' room and dropped his backpack on the floor. Then he collapsed heavily onto the mattress.

Logan followed more slowly. He made sure James was facing away before removing his textbooks and a notebook Carlos had loaned him, then shoving his backpack under his bed. After that, he sat on the comforter and watched James, trying to come up with a plan.

"Stop staring at me."

Logan started. Did James have eyes in the back of his head? "I'm sorry. How did you even know?"

"I can feel it. I'm sure Kendall told you to watch over me, but I'm fine. I just want to sleep."

"Okay. Are you hungry? I was going to make some soup."

"What did I just say?"

Logan sighed. "You want to sleep."

"Good, so you _can_ understand basic English. Get out of here and let me sleep."

"Okay." Logan slid off the bed and bit his lip, staring down at James. He ached to run a hand down James' back, to soothe him in some way. Instead he turned and walked toward the door.

"Unless you have something to kill this fucking headache. I can't sleep in this pain."

Logan stopped near the bedroom door and swallowed. He could go raid Sylvia's room, maybe check her bathroom. Or he could take advantage of the situation and do what he was dying to.

_Do it. When will you ever get this chance again?_

"Um. I do know one thing that gets rid of headaches. If you trust me?"

"I don't trust anybody. But if you can make my head stop hurting, I'll let you try anything."

Logan _really_ liked the sound of that; sadly, James didn't mean it the way Logan wanted him to. "Okay, um..." He approached Carlos' bed slowly. "Turn over. On your back."

James surprised him by readily following the command. His eyes were still closed and his body was relaxed.

"I'm going to touch you. Your head."

"Just don't make it worse."

"I won't. Can you scoot down?"

"Do I have to?"

"I need room. It works best if I do it from the top."

"Fine." James opened his eyes to scoot his body toward the foot of the bed. "Make it quick."

Logan nodded. He met James' gaze before tossing the pillow to the floor and taking its place.

"Are you _sure_ we haven't met?" James suddenly asked. "I swear I know your face."

"Not that I'm aware of," Logan answered lightly. "Okay, close your eyes."

James obeyed. "Is it gonna hurt?"

"No, the whole point is to take the pain away."

After taking a deep breath, Logan allowed himself to touch the tips of his fingers to James' skull. They formed a circle around the crown. James' hair felt soft, as if he spent a lot of time caring for it. Logan couldn't resist letting his fingers slide deeper so they were buried in luxurious brown.

_Stop it, Logan. You're supposed to be taking his headache away!_

He cleared his throat and repositioned his fingers.

"Does it take long?" James' voice had lost the edge. It was quieter now.

"No," Logan whispered. He wished it would, though. Funny that he'd always hated putting his hands on others to heal, but with James he never wanted to stop. "Are you relaxed?"

"A little tense," James admitted.

"Don't be. I'm not here to hurt you." Logan pressed his fingers harder against James' scalp, holding the position for ten seconds. Then he loosened the grip enough to massage the pressure points he'd been taught. Soon he felt James' body begin to uncoil.

"That feels so good," James murmured. His legs squirmed and he let out a moan.

_Don't do that. Don't make that sound, I'm only human._

"Oh my god. It's gone. The pain...it's _gone_."

Which meant Logan needed to stop. He kept massaging anyway, not wanting to return to the place where James would be an asshole. This was so much nicer.

"Fuck, that's amazing. You're a miracle."

Logan smiled. He forced himself to remove his fingers, and who could blame him for running them through that soft hair one more time? "Better?"

"I don't want to die anymore."

"Definitely better," Logan chuckled. "Hungry now?"

"No. Let me sleep. I can sleep now."

"Sure." Logan slid to the floor and knelt next to him. "Can I get you anything?"

"I thought we already covered this. Sleep. For the love of God, let me sleep."

"You got it."

This time James didn't yell at him for staring. Probably because James was knocked out in less than a minute, but that was okay. That was actually an improvement, as he seemed to be sleeping soundly. It took all of Logan's willpower to restrain himself from making contact.

Ten minutes into that, his knees were starting to complain. Logan knew it was time to leave James in peace. He carefully slipped the pillow under James' head, smiling when James let out a satisfied noise. And then, because he knew James wasn't going to remember this either, he brushed James' bangs back and touched his lips to James' forehead.

"Sleep," he whispered. "I'm here now. I'll take care of you."

James smiled in his sleep and turned over onto his side. Logan covered him with the blankets before quietly slipping out of the room.

It was time to win James over with food.

* * *

But first, he sent Kendall a text letting him know that James was sleeping peacefully and his headache was gone. He received a reply within minutes.

"_Thanks. He'll be hungry when he wakes up, he didn't eat breakfast."_

"_Already on it. See you in a few hours."_

Logan recalled Sylvia saying that hockey practice was every weekday except Friday, so it really would be only a few hours. There was no time to waste. He'd risk James' wrath and wake him in an hour, which was about how long the soup should take to cook using the old-fashioned stove. Even if James yelled at him, it was better than no conversation at all.

* * *

The slam of a door made Logan freeze in mid-stir. Had Sylvia come back? Did Carlos leave school early?

Logan realized the sound had come from the wrong direction, though; it wasn't the front door.

_James. He literally shut me out._

He set down the wooden spoon he'd been using and peeked out of the kitchen. Carlos' door was still open. The door across from that was now closed, meaning James was in the bathroom.

Logan gathered up all his courage and approached with a raised fist. The soup was basically done anyway, so he would've been waking James up soon. This was better, unless James was puking. Logan pressed his ear to the door and listened.

_No wonder he thinks you're creepy, Logan. Anyone watching how you act around him would._

A toilet flushed, then the sink came on. Logan stepped back and knocked. "You okay?"

"What are you, my mother?"

So they were still in that place. Great.

The door flew open. James appeared, hair flat on the left side and with his cheek creased from the pillow. His eyes were puffy. Logan thought he was beautiful. "I was just making sure."

"Look, you don't have to baby me just because Kendall told you to."

"I'm not. I mean, that's not why. Are you feeling better?"

James allowed his shoulder to shove against Logan's in passing. "I'm hungry. Something smells really good."

Logan's face lit up. "It's soup. I made you soup."

Halfway down the hall now, James halted and turned back to narrow his eyes at Logan. "You made me soup?"

"Yeah. I know you're not actually sick but I thought it might help anyway."

James considered that. "What kind of soup?"

"Vegetable. I'm still learning meat."

"Learning meat? What the hell does that mean?"

"I um...where I come from, we didn't eat meat. Turns out I really love chicken."

"Wait until you try a steak." James spun away. "I'm not much into vegetables but I'm starving, so I'll try it."

"Great, just take a seat in the dining room. I'll bring it to you."

James twisted back again. "You don't even know me. Why are you being so nice? Hold on, is Kendall paying you for this?"

"No, James," Logan laughed. "I'm just a nice guy." _Who's completely in love with you. Or at least who you'll become._

"Whatever. I like tortillas with my soup."

"Sure, I saw some in the refrigerator."

"And I'm thirsty. My throat is so dry. Bring me water."

"You got it."

James gave him one more suspicious look before going through the living room. Logan slipped into the kitchen and had to fight to keep himself from humming. This was finally going well! By the time Carlos and Kendall arrived, he and James would be buddies.

Or at least not enemies.

Logan carried out two glasses of water first. By the time he returned with steaming bowls of soup and two tortillas, James had finished most of his glass. "Don't drink it too fast," Logan warned. "You'll get stomach cramps."

"You sound like Sylvia."

Why did everyone keep saying that?! "It's true. If you promise to drink it slowly, I'll get you another glass."

"Sure, whatever."

It was as close to a promise as Logan was going to get. He gave James his glass, then went to refill the almost-empty one for himself. It wasn't like he was going to get sick from James' germs.

"Be careful, it's hot," he commented on his way back.

"Dude, seriously, are you someone's mom?"

Logan sighed and sank into the seat across from James. "I just didn't want you to burn yourself."

"I appreciate that, but I've been eating for almost eighteen years now. I think I know how to do it."

"Right. Sorry."

Logan blew gently on his spoonful before bringing the soup to his mouth. He couldn't believe how tasty it was. _Has to be the spices. I need to remember this recipe._

James' spoon clattered to the table at the same time he yelled, "Ow, fuck! Shit, that's hot!"

Logan said nothing. It was hard enough just keeping from gloating.

"Oh, so now you're gonna be all smug about it?"

Logan's gaze stayed on the table. "I didn't say anything. Need a new spoon?"

"No, this one's fine."

"Okay."

James was more careful after that, and though he didn't say the words, Logan could tell by the way he was eating that he liked the soup. It spread warmth through Logan's chest. "Is your headache gone?"

"Yeah. Whatever you did...it worked. Thanks."

The grudging tone didn't get past Logan. "You're welcome," he said sincerely anyway. "I expected you to sleep longer."

"Me too, but I woke up feeling so much better. And I had to pee. And I was hungry. What's your name again?"

Logan almost dropped his own spoon in exasperation. _Seriously, with a memory like this, how do you end up becoming one of the greatest geniuses in history?_ "Logan. Logan Mitchell."

James nodded and slurped up more broth. "I'm James, but you know that."

_Do I ever._ "Nice to meet you. Carlos and Kendall both say you're amazing."

"I'm positive they would never use that word to describe me. At least not off the ice."

Logan shrugged. "I'm paraphrasing."

"What? What does _that _mean?"

Surely James was joking. Or did they not use that word in this time? Logan looked up from his soup. "Paraphrasing? You...don't know what it means?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"No! No, I'm honestly asking. It's...well, it's like repeating what someone said, but not word-for-word. Just the general idea."

"Oh. Okay." James returned to his soup. "They said that?"

"Something like it."

"Huh. I was pretty sure they hated me by now, considering I've been such a dick lately."

Ah, so James was aware of his own behavior and how it might be affecting others. That was promising. "They don't hate you," Logan assured him. "They seem worried about you. And I heard Kendall say he wished you would talk more. Open up."

James dismissed that idea. "Yeah, sure. When they know what I'm going through, they'll get it. Right now, they can't have any idea what I'm feeling."

"Maybe you should tell them," Logan suggested. "They just want to help."

"Yeah, well they can't. Nothing they say or do is going to change the outcome, so it's not even worth talking about."

"That's true. It won't change the outcome. But it might make things a little easier to cope with."

"Easier to cope with?" James echoed. He set down his spoon, bowl empty. Logan would have asked about seconds if he didn't sense James gearing up for an outburst. "There is nothing easy about this! Nobody gets that! You don't just tell your friends how it feels and expect it to get better. It's never gonna get better, don't you get that?! You don't fucking know what it feels like to watch your mother die every single day! Right in front of you, to a point where you don't even recognize her anymore! When you know what that feels like, you can give me advice. You can—"

Something on Logan's face must have triggered the memory. James cut off abruptly before looking down. "Carlos...he said your parents...?"

This whole setup was going to give him the opportunity to bond with James. Logan silently thanked the team who had provided him a perfect background. No, he hadn't lost his parents in a fire. He barely even remembered his father, who'd been killed in a work accident twenty years previously (or almost two hundred years in the future, depending on how you looked at it). But he_ had _watched his own mother die—not from cancer, but simply old age that had drained a little more of her life away each day. She'd had Logan late in life, as many women chose to do in his time, and her slow death had been difficult to watch. "Yeah," he replied. "They're gone."

"Sorry," James mumbled.

"It's okay. It's not easy to go through. I know." Trying to give James an out for his current shame, Logan asked, "Want more soup?"

"Um, sure. Thanks."

"No problem." Logan hoped the time alone would allow James to compose himself. When he dropped off the bowl this time, James snuck a glance at him.

"It's different."

Logan returned to his seat. "What's different?"

"You didn't know. I'm not saying your situation wasn't horrible, because it was. It _is_. But you didn't know it was coming. You didn't have to watch them die for months."

_Oh, but I did. _ He couldn't admit that, though. "No, but I imagine if I had, I would've felt...helpless. Guilty."

"Guilty?" James' head shot up, interrupting the act of blowing on his soup. "Why guilty? Did you start the fire?"

"No, of course not. But I wasn't there. They suffered alone. And I couldn't stop it."

James looked like he was fighting emotion. "How did you...I mean, it's true. There's nothing I can do. My mother is dying. Cancer. Did they tell you that?"

"I guessed," Logan answered carefully. "And I'm sorry. I miss my mother every day."

"Yeah, I bet. Not your dad?"

"Uh...I was closer to Mom."

"My dad's not even around. He took off a few years ago. Doesn't care that she's dying."

"Sounds like a stand-up guy."

"He's fucking scum. I wish_ he _was the one dying." When Logan raised an eyebrow, James sighed. "Okay, so I don't. He's scum, but he's my dad."

Logan nodded. "It's okay to be mad at him."

James slurped at his soup in silence for a time. Logan let him.

"What about my mom?" James suddenly asked.

"What about her?"

"Is it wrong to be mad at her?"

He wasn't sure where James was going with that. "Depends on the reason, I guess."

"Like...it's not her fault, you know? She didn't get sick on purpose. She didn't bring this on herself. Or...I don't know, maybe she did."

"Doubtful. Cancer is usually hereditary. Does she smoke? Overeat? Work in a power plant?"

"What? No. None of those things."

"Then it's in her genes. Which means it's in yours, too. But you don't need to worry." _Shit, I should not have said that._

"I don't care about me. I just...I'm mad at her for dying. For putting us through this. For acting like everything's fine when it's not."

"Oh. I think that's actually normal. And it passes."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's natural when you're close to your mom."

Seeming to lose his appetite, James let his spoon fall into the bowl. "I'm not. We fight all the time. That's like...all we ever do."

"Since she got sick, you mean?"

"No, since like...forever. Before the cancer, she was never home and we fought about that. But I just hung out with the guys and stayed over here a lot. And at Kendall's. They're more family to me than my mom."

"Really." Logan would've been willing to bet James was close to his mother.

"And then when she got sick, we started fighting about _me_ not being home enough. Suddenly she wants to be Mother of the Year. Making up for lost time or some shit, I don't know. But it's too late. She can't just start acting like she cares now. Where was that side of her ten years ago? Where was it five? Like I'm supposed to just drop my life now because she's...she's..." James couldn't say the word. He'd said it once, and that was apparently his limit.

"Then it's definitely natural to be mad at her."

"Yeah?" James crossed his arms over his chest and looked up. "I'm not a bad son?"

Again, Logan chose his answer carefully; they were getting somewhere and he didn't want to ruin it. "I think you might be avoiding feelings and burying them, and that's not healthy. But no, you're not a bad son. You're just...a normal kid dealing with grief. Or trying to."

"It's hard," James whispered. "Feelings."

"I know. Losing my mom is the scariest thing I've ever been through."

James' eyes were red-rimmed when he met Logan's gaze again. "How did you do it? How did you get over it?"

"I don't think I ever did," Logan admitted. "It's not really something you...get over. You just learn to live with it and you treasure the time you do have. And then when that's gone, you treasure it more. Because those memories you made, that's what gets you through the worst days you'll ever have to face. Your mom may not be Mother of the Year, but she's your mom and nobody else will ever be her."

James crumpled. Logan watched it happen, wondered how long it had been since he'd allowed himself to cry. Now he couldn't help it, the tears were pouring out and he was shaking.

Logan didn't hesitate. He moved to James and lifted him from the chair to rock him in place while James sobbed into his hair. "It's not fair," James choked out. "I'm not supposed to have to deal with this shit until I'm like...forty. At_ least_."

"I know," Logan soothed, rubbing James' back. "You're not alone. I'm here, your friends are here...we're not gonna leave you stranded, James. We love you. Lean on us, okay? That's why we're here."

James sniffled a few times. Logan's arms tightened and James let them.

"You're never gonna be okay with this, but I _can_ promise that you will be okay. Your future is so bright, you don't even know. You're amazing."

Finally Logan felt what he'd been dying for; James' arms came around to hug him back, and even though James was currently sobbing, Logan felt completely at peace. _This_ was why he'd been sent back: to help James grieve and heal so that he could reach his full potential.

"James? Logan?"

A door slammed. James gasped, panic filling his eyes before he ran. Logan heard the bathroom door close, and then he wasn't alone in the dining room.

"Dude, something smells _so _good. Did Mom make soup?"

* * *

The moment was gone. Logan would give anything to have it back.

That wasn't going to happen.

Kendall joined them. "Where's James? Sleeping?"

"No, he's in the bathroom. We just had some soup."

Kendall's taut expression relaxed. "Good, he ate something. How is he?"

"Better." Logan noticed Carlos sniffing around James' half-full bowl. "Carlos? Would you like some soup?"

"It's not Mom's."

"I made it. Is that a yes?"

"What's in it?"

"It was good enough for James to have seconds."

"That means it's bomb. Kendall, want some?"

"No, Mom's getting off early tonight, so dinner will be soon. Go get some, though."

They watched Carlos practically skip into the kitchen. "You guys got here fast."

"Yeah, Jenny's mom dropped us off. Sometimes her crush is useful."

Logan smiled.

"Seriously, how is he?"

How much would James want them to know? Probably none of it. But as his friends who cared for his well-being, did they deserve to know? Logan would certainly want to in their position. "Don't tell him I told you."

"Told us what?" Carlos had filled a bowl in record time and was moving toward the table.

"When he comes out of the bathroom, don't say anything about how he looks. He's been crying."

This news was enough to actually halt Carlos in the act of eating. "What? James doesn't cry."

"He did. Just now. You were right, he's having a really hard time dealing with his mom's cancer."

Kendall pulled out a chair and sank into it. "So you're telling me he not only told you about his mom, but then he talked about his feelings and _cried_? You got him crying?"

Logan probably shouldn't be so proud of that. "I did."

"How?" Carlos wanted to know. "Kendall can't even do that."

"Well, it helps that I've been through it myself. He was shutting me out until he remembered that my parents are gone, too. That was apparently what he needed, because he says you guys can't understand what he's feeling."

"Dammit, James," Kendall muttered. "That doesn't mean we can't be here for him."

"And that's what I told him. I'm hoping he opens up to you guys now. He needs you more than ever."

"We're right here," Carlos pointed out. "Dude! You made this? What else can you cook?"

Logan shrugged. "Guess we'll find out."

Kendall was staring at Logan with something like awe. "I can't believe you got him talking."

"And crying!" Carlos exclaimed.

"Shh," Logan warned. "Remember, don't say anything. He wouldn't want you to know."

"Yeah yeah."

The bathroom door opened. Kendall hissed, "Be cool!"

"James, did you try some of this soup? It's bomb!"

Logan supposed that _was_ normal Carlos behavior.

James shuffled into the dining room. His eyes were red and puffier than they had been but he'd found a comb somewhere. "Yeah, it's pretty good. Logan knows how to cook."

And then because James would probably think it odd that he didn't ask, Kendall tried, "You feeling better, bro? Headache better?"

"Gone," James nodded. "Logan did some weird thing with his fingers and it totally disappeared. You guys are home early."

"No practice today," Kendall reminded him.

"And we got a ride home with Jenny! She made Kendall sit in the backseat with her," Carlos teased.

Kendall cringed. "Don't remind me."

James chuckled. It was genuine. Was this the first time Logan had seen a genuine smile from James in person?

_No. He smiled at that whore last night. Let it go, Logan. One day it'll be you._

"Kendall, when are you gonna grow some balls and tell her you're not interested?" James asked. He sat down next to Carlos and picked up his own spoon to dip it into Carlos' soup. When Carlos was offended, James stated, "Mine's cold." Carlos relented.

"I feel bad," Kendall sighed. "I don't want to hurt her. She's not horrible or anything, I just...I don't know. She's nice, I guess."

"Clumsy as fuck," James tossed out. Kendall glared at him and he shrugged. "You know it's true."

"Yeah, she's worse than me," Carlos agreed. "Could you imagine us together?"

Kendall actually shuddered. "Don't even joke about it, Carlos. You're scary enough on your own."

"Hey, if I'm so bad, why do you keep me around?"

"Because nobody else will take you," Kendall replied with a smirk.

"Oh? I thought maybe it was because I'm a great goalie. You know, best in the whole state or something like that?"

Kendall's head swung over to Logan. "You told him I said that?!"

"I'm sorry, was it a secret?"

A huge grin appeared on Carlos' face. "Not anymore! Kendall, really, come try this soup. It's _vegetables_ and I like it."

Kendall rolled his eyes but leaned over for the spoon Carlos was holding out. It was clear that he was impressed. "Wow. You made that?"

"I did," Logan nodded. "My soup's cold, too. I'm gonna go get some more. Kendall?"

"Nah, I really do need to save my appetite. It's Fish Stick Friday."

"Oh man, we're missing _that_?" Carlos complained. "Kendall, can we come over? I swear Logan, you'll love fish sticks."

"You promised me pizza."

"Damn. I did. Next Friday, then."

Logan was pleased to see Kendall taking more of the soup. "James?"

James looked up from Carlos' bowl. "Yeah?"

"Want your own bowl?"

Something in James' eyes softened, the hazel seeming to shift from light brown to green. He smiled at Logan and when he answered, it was in that quiet tone he'd used earlier that made Logan's stomach flip over. "Yeah. Thanks."

Logan's breath caught. There it was, that smile he'd been waiting for.

And this time, it was all for him.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N—Finally getting back to this story! Thanks to those who read my Valentine one, it was fun to go back to the Knight family again. :) It's been awhile, so as a reminder we left off in this story with James and Logan talking in the dining room, and then Carlos and Kendall came home. On with the story!

* * *

Kendall and James left soon after the soup was eaten. Logan was sorry to see James go and wished he could have a few private words with him before he left, but he thought that might embarrass James. So when they were headed out the door, Logan settled for a nod. James showed with his eyes that he was thankful for the talk, and Logan had to be satisfied with that.

As it was Friday, Carlos put off his homework and spent the next few hours downstairs watching the television. He invited Logan to join, but Logan thought it would be good to spend time reviewing his situation and begged off with a need for "some quiet time." Though it was clear that Carlos didn't understand that (at least not from a fellow teenager), he left Logan to himself.

Logan let his mind work while cleaning up the dishes from the meal. It was time to take stock of the mission and figure out his next step.

He thought it was going well, considering it was only his second day here. He and James _had _gotten off to a rocky start; he'd corrected that, though, and they'd moved past it—as long as James never remembered their first meeting. Tomorrow would be the hockey game, and the chance to be around James again, and even though the other two would be there he was going to make use of the time.

Would it be just Carlos and Kendall, though? Kendall had mentioned going out after the game, but what if he meant them and the families? That would mean Sylvia and Papi would be there, as well as Kendall's mother and sister (and whoever else that family might be made up of).

That led Logan to an interesting thought: Would Brooke be there? Surely now that she was trying to make up for lost time, she'd go see her son play hockey. For all Logan knew, that was something she'd always done. It would be a great opportunity to get to know her, to maybe learn more about James. Excitement filled him at the idea of having a conversation with Brooke Diamond.

After the game would be his best chance to get closer to James. He'd make sure to sit next to James no matter where they went, and he thought they were at a level now where James wouldn't mind that. If it was just the four of them, Carlos would probably want to be near Kendall anyway. Carlos' crush could work for him, automatically splitting them into two couples.

_You're not a couple, Logan. Don't think like that, he's into girls and he has a...something. _

For now, at least. Carlos said he would get tired of her.

What if _she _was there? That would definitely put a wrench in his plan. He'd never get close to James then.

Kendall had made a comment at lunch that sounded like he and Carlos weren't fans of her being around, so maybe it would be okay. Maybe they'd made their feelings known and James knew better than to bring her around.

Logan could only hope. If Kendall's sister was at the game, he could find out more about these assignments she was in the habit of doing for James. That should be easy enough.

_And if it turns out she's the one who does his last assignment, Logan? What then?_

Logan refused to entertain that idea until he had a reason to. He wasn't ready to give up on the genius he knew lived inside James.

* * *

Dinner with the Garcias was more enjoyable than Logan could've foreseen. Sylvia did order pizza for them, obviously feeling bad that she'd left Logan alone when he "wasn't at his best", and Logan had to admit that Carlos was right—pizza was bomb. There was a lot of laughter around the table. Logan's mother had possessed a witty sense of humor, but she tended to be more serious and only showed it occasionally. The relaxed atmosphere helped Logan to open up and before he knew it, he was offering anecdotes and information about his upbringing—not so much that it gave away the fact that he was two hundred years younger than these people, but enough that Sylvia felt comfortable asking questions here and there. Carlos still didn't understand how Logan had lived such a "boring life."

"Seriously, dude, no meat? No school? No friends?"

Logan shrugged. "I read a lot of books. I guess you could say the characters in those books were my friends."

Carlos shook his head. "That's just sad."

"Who was your favorite?" Papi asked. "I always liked Sherlock Holmes, myself."

Logan's favorite person to read about wasn't from fiction; he couldn't explain to them that it was a young man they considered a second son. "Actually...there was this scientist. Well, he was like a doctor, too, he did research in the medical field. He changed the world. He was my favorite."

Carlos' face screwed up. "A _doctor_? That's your favorite character? You are so weird! You at least read Harry Potter, right?"

"Yes," Logan laughed. "I've read those books." They were considered classics in his time. "And I did enjoy them."

"Yet you still choose some doctor in a lab? What is wrong with you? Harry was so cool!"

"I don't know, I never thought he was cool. But he _was_ a hero."

"Exactly, so that makes him cool! How could you choose some doctor over someone like that?"

Logan shrugged. "I guess because my doctor was a hero, too. He saved millions of lives. Billions, even. He was a genius."

Sylvia asked, "Is that what you want to be, honey? A doctor?"

"Uh...yeah, it's my area of expertise. I like to teach, though. So maybe a professor of some kind."

"Good, you can start with Carlitos over here," Papi grinned. "Teach _him_ before he flunks out of history!"

"Papi, I'm not gonna flunk! I did better on the last test!"

"I don't really consider a 'D' better, _mijo_. If you can't get at least a 'C' to bring that grade up, you won't graduate."

Carlos groaned and leaned his head back. "It's just the dates and the names and who did what when. That's what I have trouble with!"

"That's...pretty much all of history," Logan pointed out with a chuckle. "I can help you with memory tricks, if you want. They really do work."

Carlos' gaze narrowed at Logan. "Really? Because I try and try and I've even had tutors and I just can't keep it all straight!"

"Can't make it worse," Logan reminded him. "When's your next test?"

"Monday."

"Okay, great. We have all weekend, we can get started tomorrow."

"No way, tomorrow's hockey," Carlos argued. "Saturdays are for hockey."

Sylvia rolled her eyes. "Sunday then, Carlos. And Logan, thank you. If you can get him to memorize things, we'll order pizza for you every night."

Logan laughed. "Once a week should be fine. This really is good." He reached for a fourth slice.

"Kendall is asking if we can stay over tonight."

Logan had been wondering what Carlos kept looking at on his lap; he should've realized it would be a phone.

Sylvia had a silent conversation with her husband before saying, "I don't know, honey. You boys were out late last night and—"

"Ma, please! They rented the new_ Underworld_ movie!"

Logan had no idea what that was.

"It's a Friday night!" Carlos continued. "No school tomorrow!"

"But you do have a big game tomorrow, son," Papi contributed. "We want you rested for it or you won't play well."

"Yes, I will! Come on, please? Please, guys? I promise I'll spend Sunday working on homework and letting Logan teach me!"

The parents were about to give in. Logan could feel it. He wasn't sure how he felt about staying over at Kendall's, especially since Kendall was still warming up to him.

But what if James was there, too?

"Okay, I guess it's all right," Sylvia sighed. "But I want you boys in bed by midnight! No staying up all night on the XBox! I'll tell Jennifer that's our condition."

"Okay, sure, whatever!" Carlos hopped up from his chair in excitement. "Logan, come on! You can borrow my pajamas again."

"Am I dropping you off?" Sylvia wondered.

"Oh. Yeah. Please, Ma!"

"Don't take forever." She waited until Carlos had run out to ask, "Logan? Do you want to go? You don't have to. I know the boys are a lot to handle."

And Kendall didn't really want him around. He'd bet that Carlos had been the one to suggest Logan joining them. "I'm...not sure, actually. Let me go talk to Carlos."

"Okay, baby. Don't let Carlos pressure you."

"I won't." He smiled at her, then at Papi. "Thanks for dinner. I'm definitely a fan of pizza."

"Well, who isn't?" Papi grinned. "Go on, son. And make sure Carlos packs his toothbrush."

"You got it," Logan laughed.

Logan found his new brother haphazardly throwing a bag together. "Your dad said to remember your toothbrush."

"Oh! Thanks!" Carlos jogged across the hall and came back with it. "Wait, I forgot yours."

He started to leave again but Logan stopped him. "Hang on. I'm not sure I want to go."

"What?" Carlos stared at him in disbelief. "Why wouldn't you want to go? It's Kendall!"

"Yes, well, I'm not the one with the crush on him," Logan smirked.

"Oh my god, shut up!" Carlos hissed. He glanced toward the door before closing it. "It's not a crush!"

"Whatever it is, I think you deserve time alone with him. _Without_ me around. And you can't tell me he wants me to come. You told him you had to bring me, right?"

"What? No! Why would you—" When Logan crossed his arms over his chest, Carlos caved. "Okay, so he just invited me. But when I told him I was bringing you, he was fine with it!"

"Because to say no would make him an asshole and he doesn't want to lose you. I'm telling you, Carlos, he's afraid of that. That's probably the reason he invited you over tonight, because he needs the reassurance that you're still there for him."

"Stop making him sound like a girl. Kendall's not afraid of anything."

"Everyone's afraid of something, Carlos."

"Not Kendall. And I thought we agreed to never mention my..._feelings_...again."

"I never agreed to that. But just think, if I don't go, you get all night alone with him." Carlos' eyes sparkled. "Unless James is gonna be there, too? Then it won't matter if I'm there, because you wouldn't be alone with Kendall anyway."

"No, he said James never texted him back. So it would be just Kendall and me."

Logan smirked again. "So then why in the world would you want me there? For once, you can have Kendall all to yourself."

Carlos bit his lip. "Katie would be there."

"Not the whole night. She has her own room, right?"

"Yeah." Carlos' cheeks flushed before he turned a sincere look on Logan. "Really, though? You're okay with staying here? I don't want you to feel like you can't come."

"I promise, Carlos, it's fine. I'm used to being alone. And I think Kendall would appreciate it more if he had time alone with you. Make sure he knows I'm not gonna steal you away. You going without me is proof of that."

"I guess," Carlos sighed. "I just feel bad."

"Don't. Go have fun."

"Yeah?"

"Yes!" Logan chuckled. "And I'll see you at the game tomorrow. I'm excited, this is my first hockey game in person." Logan made a mental note to Google hockey and refresh himself on the rules by morning.

"You're gonna love it, it's so awesome! Okay, help me pack because Mom doesn't like to wait."

Logan made sure Carlos had necessities like his phone charger and nasal strips, though he doubted Carlos would wear them in Kendall's presence. Carlos packed a second bag with his hockey gear.

"Are you sure?" Carlos asked on his way out the bedroom door. "You really are missing out on a fun night. The_ Underworld_ movies are cool! Vampires and werewolves, dude!"

"I'll catch it another time," Logan promised. "Go. Enjoy your time alone with him."

"It's gonna be awesome," Carlos smiled. "Thanks, man."

Logan nodded. If nothing else, his decision to stay away would put him further on Kendall's good side. A hot shower followed by a quiet evening researching hockey and James sounded like a perfect way to spend his time.

* * *

Sylvia turned away Logan's offer to help clean up after dinner by shooing him out of the kitchen with, "You've had a rough week and I know Carlos is a handful. You just go relax. We'll go shopping to get you some things tomorrow night, okay?"

That earned her a smile and a hug, which she returned with affection and a kiss on the forehead. This family was so much more demonstrative than he was used to, and Logan decided he liked it. He poked his head into the living room to say goodnight to Papi, who was watching the evening news, then took his time letting hot water wash away his tension.

He would be forever thankful for the showers in this time.

The rules of hockey weren't terribly complex, so it was a breeze to renew his understanding of the game. The hardest part would be remembering the names of each maneuver, but he hadn't been lying to Carlos earlier; his memory tricks worked. Thirty minutes later, he thought he had enough of an understanding about the fast-moving game to be able to follow it without raising any suspicions.

_Now to sink myself into James._

Always his favorite hobby. Logan got comfortable in bed and called up Google again, wondering where to start.

He was distracted by a tapping noise. He ignored it, figuring it was just something coming through the wall from the living room. The television, perhaps.

The noise came again, and this time Logan realized it had a pattern. He frowned and sat up in bed to remove the covers. The sound was coming from the window that faced the backyard.

_Is there something out there? A tree branch I never noticed?_

The third time couldn't be mistaken for random tapping; this had a meaning. A little scared to know what was on the other side, Logan turned off the light and hesitantly moved to the curtains to peek through the thin gap between them.

It was like waking up inside a dream, only he'd never fallen asleep. James Diamond was crouching outside the window. His eyes widened when he realized it was Logan on the other side, then he gestured for Logan to slide the bottom pane up and let him in.

As if Logan would do anything else.

He tried to be quiet about it, backing up when James had enough room to climb in. James closed the window and turned to see what he could in the darkness. "Where's Carlos?" he whispered.

"Kendall's. I thought you were invited."

"Huh. Maybe I was, I haven't looked at my phone in hours." James slipped it out now, the screen giving off a bright light in the blackness. "Yep, Kendall texted me about a sleepover. Oh well, that's fine. It's you I'm looking for anyway. But I'd better at least reply or Kendall will call."

"Me? You're looking for me?" Logan tried to not take that in the way he wanted to; he failed, his stomach swirling with butterflies.

"Yeah." James finished the text and pocketed his phone again. "I had a big fight with my mom. I couldn't stay there."

"Oh, James." Logan sighed and reached out to touch James' arm in a show of comfort. His fingers met leather. _The jacket. It's the jacket he wore last night and looked so good in._ James didn't fight it when Logan's hand tightened around his bicep. "Do you need to talk?"

"No, I don't want to talk at all actually." James was standing so close Logan could feel his warmth. It was intoxicating. "That's why I didn't go to Kendall's, because he'll make me talk about it. And I thought maybe...you'd understand. That sometimes you don't want to talk, but you don't want to be alone?"

Logan wasn't used to leaning on people, and he knew that James wasn't either. The fact that James had sought him out in a time of need...

_This is fantastic. You're so succeeding in this, Logan. Just don't push it too far and ruin it._ "I do understand. Carlos is gone for the night if you want to stay."

"Please," James sighed. "I figured we could all watch TV downstairs or something. I just don't want to think right now, you know?"

"Yeah. It's okay, you don't have to." _Yet, anyway. _ Logan would do what he could to mend fences between James and his mother, but for the moment he'd allow James to escape the pain. He followed instinct and hugged James, who closed his eyes on a sigh and leaned into it. Logan's face nestled into James' neck, arousal making itself known because touching James so intimately was even more incredible than he'd imagined.

_Don't let him feel that. This is how you'll ruin it._

Logan shifted his hips so that his erection was aimed away from James. He didn't let go, though. He wouldn't until he had to.

"Thanks," James murmured. "And if this makes you uncomfortable, I can...not do it. The hugging, I mean. I know it's kind of..."

"I don't mind it," Logan smiled. "I wish I'd had someone to hug me like this when I needed it."

"Yeah well...you do now."

_Good lord, I only wish. Don't make me promises like that, Diamond. I can't let that line blur. _ In spite of the warning to himself, Logan tightened his arms. "Thanks. I don't feel so alone anymore."

"I don't either."

A light knock on the bedroom door had them leaping apart. Logan's heart felt like it was going to break through the wall of his chest. A soft voice floated through the door. "Logan? Honey, are you still awake?"

"Don't tell her I'm here," James begged. "Please. Let me just stay."

"You're not going anywhere. Keep quiet, I'll be right back."

Logan cleared his throat before moving to the door and opening it enough to slip through. Sylvia stepped back. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I hadn't fallen asleep yet."

"Oh, good. Listen, I just got off the phone with James' mom. She's looking for him, have you heard from him at all? I know you hardly know him, but maybe he said something to you today after I dropped you off?"

Logan hated lying. _Hated_ it. It was one of the things that had been most difficult for him during this mission. He felt loyalty toward James, though. "Did she say anything else?"

"No, just that he isn't home and she's worried. Kendall and Carlos didn't know anything, either."

Logan bit his lip, debating. If he'd been the one worried about James, he'd want to know James was okay. After looking back at the bedroom door to see it was still firmly closed, Logan steered Sylvia by the arm to the kitchen. "He's here." Before she could overreact, he added, "But he made me promise not to tell. He's upset, they had a fight, and he came here because he needed someone to talk to. You can tell her he's here and safe, but I'm not letting him leave until he's okay. Can you just pass that on to her? That he's safe?"

She sighed deeply, as if he was asking too much of her. "Brooke's not going to be satisfied with that. She'll demand that I take him home."

"Please, Sylvia. For James. I'm sure you know the situation? With her illness?"

"Of course I do. James isn't handling it well."

"I know. He actually opened up to me today and we talked, that's why he came here. He trusts me. I'm trying to help him cope with all of this before it's too late. I need time to convince him to go home on his own. Can you help me with that?"

"You're asking a lot. Brooke is not easy to deal with."

"Please. For James."

"Fine," she groaned, reminding Logan of Carlos when he was forced into doing something he didn't enjoy. "I'll tell her that I'll keep an eye on him and that you're trying to get him home. At least she'll know he's safe."

"Exactly. Thank you, Sylvia."

He hugged her briefly and turned away.

"Wait. Is he hungry? Did he eat dinner?"

"I'll find out. Remember, I promised not to tell that he's here, so you guys have to pretend you don't know. He'll never trust me again otherwise."

"Right. Let me know if he needs anything, though."

"I'll take care of it. Thanks."

The darkness blinded him when he closed himself in the bedroom. It was so quiet he feared James had escaped.

"Did you tell her?"

Logan jumped. The scared question had come from the direction of Carlos' bed. "No. But your mom's looking for you."

"Ugh."

"Did you think she wouldn't?"

"I don't know. I don't really care."

Logan thought maybe he did, though. "Did you eat dinner? I can get you a plate of pizza and chicken. Tell them I'm still hungry."

"Would you?" Logan heard the creak of leather as James sat up. "I'm starving."

"No problem. What do you like to drink?"

"Water's fine."

"Okay. Why don't you sneak down to the basement and I'll meet you there with dinner?"

Logan's eyes had adjusted to the dark enough to see James' teeth when he smiled. "Thanks, man. I really appreciate this."

"Anytime. I told you, I'm here for you. See you down there."

"Logan, wait."

He halted with the door half open.

"Is there more of that soup from earlier?"

"There is," Logan grinned, pride suffusing him. "Would you like some?"

"Yeah. Get me some of that, too. It was really good."

"You got it."

He closed the door and fought down the urge to whistle in glee. This night could not get any better.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N—It feels like it's been forever since I posted this story, but it hasn't even been a week! I guess there's just a lot going on from day to day. This chapter takes Logan through the end of Friday night. Hope you enjoy! :) And thank you for reading!

* * *

James had made himself comfortable on the sofa and flipped on the television by the time Logan joined him. Balancing a bottle of water, a plate, and a hot bowl while walking down a staircase was tricky and gave him more respect for Jennifer, that waitress he'd met on his first day here. Maybe Sunday he'd take Carlos down to Good Eats for lunch as a reward for studying.

_Oh, but Jennifer said she doesn't work weekends._ He wanted to go when she was there, to thank her again for her kindness when he was out of his element.

"Thanks. You're rad."

Logan smiled at what he assumed from James' expression was a compliment. "You're welcome. What are we watching?"

James relieved Logan of the plate and water so that he could set the soup on a small table. "Haven't decided yet. You got any favorites?"

There were actually a few shows from this time period that Logan had seen and enjoyed. Tonight was all about James, though. "Whatever you want. I'm fine."

"Come on, Logan, you have to have _some_ preference. What's your favorite show?" Before Logan could even think to answer, James added, "Oh my god, this soup is better than I remember."

Logan preened from the armchair he'd fallen into. "It gets better with time, I think. The spices get stronger. And...I don't know. We didn't watch a lot of television back home."

"Your family was weird, huh? No meat, and Carlos said you didn't go to school."

"I did, just not a public school. I studied at home. When did you and Carlos talk about me?"

James' cheeks inexplicably reddened. "Uh...I don't know. He mentioned it at some point."

"Really?" Would that point have been today, perhaps? After they'd shared an emotional breakthrough? Had James been _asking_ about him? "Well, he's right. My family was different."

"I bet you miss them a lot."

"Sometimes," Logan agreed. "But the Garcias have been really great about treating me like their own. Carlos even calls me his brother. I'm not used to being so...accepted."

"Yeah, they're pretty cool. Kendall's family is like that, too. We're all just one big family, I guess."

"Even your mom?" Logan prodded, ready to be shut down.

"I don't know," James shrugged. "Mom's...she works so much. Or...did. When we were little she was part of it, but then we never saw her except for holidays and stuff. She traveled all the time. Probably why Dad left, honestly. But he should've stuck it out; she needs him right now and he's off making a new family with some slut that's young enough to be his daughter."

"But he knows?" Logan wondered. "About the cancer?"

"Yeah, I told him. Didn't make a difference. He called Mom and said he was sorry, but didn't offer to help in any way. Too busy with his pregnant wife."

James was going to have a half-sibling? There'd been nothing in the books about that. "I'm sorry." Logan wished he could reach James' hand to hold it. Then he was glad he couldn't because that would be crossing a line. He watched James set aside his empty bowl to chug some water, and since James' eyes weren't on him he let his own follow the movement to watch James swallow.

_You're so beautiful. Seeing you in person is so much better than through a screen._

"You know what? I don't want to talk about it. You promised me I didn't have to."

"You're right. Pick something to watch."

James dragged a blanket from the back of the couch and settled it over his legs before resting the plate on top. With his right hand, he used a remote to scan through options on a streaming service. "Tell me if you see something you like."

Logan was more curious about what James liked. _Please pick something intelligent, something that makes you think. Show me that you're in there! _ "Do you like documentaries?"

James' brows drew together. "No. Do you?"

"You don't? Really? Nothing about history or medicine or...science, even?"

"I see enough of that shit at school. Why would I watch it when I don't have to?"

_Because you're a genius! Because you love to learn like I do! Because you're James Fucking Diamond, the man who's going to save the world! _

He couldn't say any of that. He settled on, "Because you might learn something?"

"Yeah, like I said. Why learn when I don't have to?"

Logan's stomach dropped. He didn't want to face it, but something was seriously wrong.

_I'm not giving up. This is going to happen. You will turn in that assignment, I don't know how but it's going to happen._

Roger had said to let things take their natural course. He had to step back and let time do its job. Something was going to change James between now and June, and Logan was almost positive it would be Brooke's illness.

"Oh, 'South Park'! I love this show!"

Logan tuned back into the moment. James had stopped on what appeared to be a cartoon. "What's it about?"

"You don't know 'South Park'? Well, brace yourself. It's not pretty. But it's definitely funny."

Three minutes into the show, Logan decided "funny" was a subjective term. It was crass, sarcastic, and even gory at times. "This is for kids?" Logan finally asked.

"No way!" James laughed. "Didn't you see the warning at the beginning? Mature audiences only."

"I should hope so."

James set down the slice of pizza he'd been been about to bite into and glanced over. "You hate it." He seemed disappointed.

"I don't hate it. It's just..not really my humor."

"What is? Pick something and we'll watch it."

"No, this is fine. Really. I want you to relax and just enjoy the time." James had finished his chicken and half the pizza he'd been given. "Need anything?"

"Yeah, for you to crack a smile. If you hate this, we can find something else."

"No, let's finish the episode at least."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Logan did smile this time, and it wasn't forced. James' consideration for his feelings gave him warm fuzzies.

"Okay. _Then_ we're watching something you like."

Logan already was. With James glued to the television, Logan was able to let his gaze roam over his favorite subject. James' socked feet stuck out from the blanket. Somewhere he'd lost the jacket, probably in the bedroom, and his tan arms poked out of a black t-shirt that set off his skin tone nicely. Logan now knew what it felt like to run his fingers through the dark hair; they itched to do it again.

In an attempt to make sure Logan wasn't suffering through the show, James turned his head at one point. Logan looked away just in time, praying his hot face didn't give away the thoughts that had been running through his head. James studied him long enough that Logan wanted to squirm, then focused on the screen again.

Logan finally let out the breath he'd been holding. _Okay, no more staring. That's what got you in trouble the first time you met him._

For the remainder of the episode, Logan watched what he was supposed to, and by the time it was over he found himself not hating it as much. It was barbaric and crude, but it made some good points about the hypocrisy of the current time.

"So?" James asked. He shifted to face Logan.

"It's not that bad," Logan admitted.

"I did hear you laugh a couple of times."

Logan chuckled. "You caught me."

"Damn right I did. So you pick the next one. Just tell me when you see something you like."

There wasn't a whole lot Logan knew. His face must have given him away though because James stopped on a show he'd seen before. "'Star Trek'? Really?"

"I like science," Logan mumbled, embarrassed about that in a way he never thought he'd have to be in front of James.

"Of course you do," James sighed. "But a promise is a promise. We'll watch this. Don't get mad if I fall asleep, though."

"I won't." How was it possible that James didn't like this show? It took place in the future, it dealt with subjects he would be an expert on later in life! It didn't compute. "This isn't the original, though. It's a more modern version of that." 'Modern' was another relative term.

"It's all the same to me," James shrugged. "A lot of nerd talk that I don't understand."

When James said things like that, it scared Logan. He'd given up everything to come back and devote the rest of his life to a man who should never say things like that. "Surely you're exaggerating."

"Wanna bet? I guarantee you'll have to explain half the dialogue to me. I always swore I wouldn't do a show like this because that alone would be too hard."

Logan frowned. "Do a show? What do you mean?"

"You know, as an actor. I'd rather do a comedy, something easy with words I don't have to struggle with."

Logan's body went cold. He wasn't hearing that right. "An actor? You're joking, right?"

"No. What's wrong with being an actor? I mean, I could still be a pop star, I've got the voice and the look for it. But I think that would get boring after awhile. Like the girls at school who try to hook up with me, they're all the same. Fans would be like that, too, always up in my business. At least as an actor I could do my work away from fans but still be famous."

He couldn't breathe. He tried, but each time he drew in breath it didn't seem to go anywhere. "James...is that what you want to do with your life? No joke? You want to be an actor?"

"Yeah. Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not, I...I just..." _I just don't understand. Did we get the wrong James Diamond? _But no, not unless there was another James Diamond who was on the hockey team and in Mrs. Simmons' biology class at Denfield High. "You're sure? No interest in medicine or research or diseases? No desire to...I don't know, find a prevention for cancer?"

James sat up all the way and set his feet on the carpet. "Why, is there one? Could it help my mom?"

"No, there's not. Maybe one day, but not yet."

"Damn. You got my hopes up for a second." James wrapped the blanket over his shoulders. "I mean that would be cool, but it's not something I'd ever do. I don't know enough about that sort of thing."

"And you have no interest in it? At all?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes the stuff Mrs. Simmons talks about is interesting. I have a hard time following it, though. I'm not exactly what you'd call smart. Not like you."

_You are, I know you are. _ "How do you know I am?"

"Carlos said you are."

Right. In that conversation James was too embarrassed to be open about. "So...really? Acting?"

"I just want to be famous. I want people to remember me. I want to be special, you know?"

The tiny voice James said the last part in made Logan's heart bleed for him. "You are, James." He slid off the chair and walked on his knees to the sofa, to kneel before James. He took a chance and rested his hands on James' thighs. "I swear. You'll be a legend."

James wanted to believe the words. "Not if I don't graduate. There's this performing arts academy I want to join, like you have to be the best of the best to get in. They'll make me the kind of actor that can become a legend. I just...lately I don't really care. I mean, I do, but this thing with Mom...it's changing me. Turning me into someone I don't like."

"That's because you're trying to do it all alone. Let me help you."

"How? Do you know anything about acting?"

"No, but I know plenty about school. I'm a nerd, remember?"

"Yeah," James chuckled, flushing. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay, I never take that as an insult. I can help you pass your classes."

"Yeah? You'd do that for me?"

Logan's fingers squeezed the muscles underneath them. "I'd do anything for you."

He'd pushed it too far. He knew it when James glanced down at his hands and then away. The muscles were tense now. Logan let go and settled back on his heels. Should he apologize? He'd made James uncomfortable.

_Fix this, Logan! Don't backpedal!_

"How about we start with this show? I can explain anything you don't understand, and by the time it's over you'll be heading into nerd territory."

That got a soft laugh out of James. Logan wanted to yell with relief.

"Let's not get carried away," James smirked. "I still have a reputation to uphold."

"It'll be our secret." Logan was glad when the smirk turned into a full smile, revealing straight white teeth. He moved back to his chair.

James picked up the remote. "So are we watching this?"

"Make it so," Logan quipped. James gave him a strange look and he laughed. "You'll get that soon enough. I'm telling you, you're gonna love this show."

"Yeah, don't expect any miracles."

Logan did. He expected that by June, James would be the genius he'd come here to save. It all started now.

_You can do this, Logan. If you don't, you're dead. _

Make it so, indeed.

* * *

Logan left it up to James whether they'd watch a second episode, and two hours after that they'd made it through a third.

"See?" Logan grinned when that one ended. "It's a good show, right?"

"It's not horrible," James admitted. "And now I get your lame 'Make it so' comment. It's what the captain always says. But you get what I mean now about the dialogue. You heard some of those words they were using. I don't even know what half that means."

"Well, some of it is made up for the show. So don't feel bad. But you were able to follow what was happening most of the time, yes? At least enough to make sarcastic comments here and there?" Logan smirked.

"Yeah."

"Okay then. You're not an idiot. Which I knew."

The compliment had James blushing as a tiny smile formed and he looked down. "Would you be mad if I said I needed sleep?"

"Of course not. You've had a rough day. Want me to wake up Sylvia to take you home? Or call your mom?"

"No, Logan, I'm not going home tonight. You said I could stay."

"I know, but your mom must be worried. At least call her?"

James didn't like that idea, either. "I don't want to talk to her. Plus I'm sure she's already asleep."

"Or sitting awake worried because she doesn't know where you are." That was a lie, Logan knew she was aware of his whereabouts; James didn't know that, though.

James gave in to a deep sigh. "Fine, I'll text her. Just so she knows I'm safe. Are you happy?"

"It's something," Logan shrugged. "But I'm sure she'd rather hear your voice."

"No." James shook his head. "I can't. Not yet."

"Okay," Logan nodded. "I'm gonna take these dishes up. Meet you in the bedroom?"

"Yeah, um..." James looked up with his phone in his hand. "I'm good with my jeans, but do you have a shirt I could change into, maybe?"

"No, but I'm sure Carlos does. You probably know your way around his room better than I do, so take what you need. He won't mind."

"Yeah, he's cool like that. You really hit the lottery with this family, you know? They're great."

The envy Logan heard in James' tone made him want to hug the guy. "They are," he agreed. "And I'm sure you know that you're welcome here anytime? If you ever need to talk or get away or...well, you have a place to go."

"I know." James offered him a half-smile. "That's why I'm here."

_You're here for me. You said it, you were looking for me, you can't take that back now._ Logan tried not to let the excitement over that knowledge show on his face. "Text your mom. And I'll demand visual proof of that when I get to the room."

James rolled his eyes. "Get out of here."

Logan grinned, hearing that even though James was annoyed, he wasn't. So far, this really was the best night ever.

* * *

After taking care of the dirty dishes, Logan headed down the hall to find the bathroom door closed. The sound of the shower came through it, also bringing about visions in his head that he quickly chased away.

_Stop it. He's off limits, for so many reasons._

The bedroom door was closed, too, and a peek inside showed that it was empty but James had obviously been in here. A flurry of panic sliced through Logan, who couldn't believe how stupid he'd been to allow James access to the room containing his backpack.

Logan shut himself away and rushed to his bed in order to drag out the pack he'd shoved underneath. Nothing inside looked disturbed; he could breathe again.

_Really, Logan, you need a better hiding place. Anyone could find this, and how would you explain the devices that no one alive today would recognize? What about the cash and the forged cards and documents? _

He couldn't continue to take it all with him every time he left the house. Maybe once James was asleep he'd explore the basement to find a secure location that no one would notice. Or was there an attic? That might be better.

For now, his secret possessions were safe. He could still vaguely hear the sound of running water so he knew he was safe for the moment, because even if Sylvia was still awake she would knock; he had a few minutes to himself.

Logan opened an inner pocket of the pack to retrieve two palm-sized devices that to anyone else might've looked like miniature tablets. He pressed a button on the side of one and said softly, "Show me Joanna. On screen."

The other option would've been "project" but Logan didn't want to take the chance of James walking in to see pictures randomly floating along the wall. Instead he viewed them on the small flat screen in his hand, surprised by the rush of emotion that hit him as pictures of his mother appeared on it in succession. After her death, he'd buried himself in work and not allowed himself to spend much time grieving; in truth there wasn't a lot to grieve, since she'd told him numerous times before her death that she was ready to go. He'd missed her but been happy that she got her wish, and moved on with memories he rarely let rise to the surface. Now they flooded back with each photo that appeared on the screen, some containing him as well. It wasn't as if he would've seen her again had he remained in his own time, but for some reason being two hundred years in the past made her seem farther away and tears sprang to his eyes.

Enough of that. He returned the album to its hiding place and focused his attention on the second one, which would be more useful to him right now. Instead of his mother, it was James who appeared on the screen—an older James who smiled a lot and had seemed to thrive when giving lectures or speeches. Logan had spent countless hours watching those speeches and wishing he could've been present for them.

Now he could.

It was enough to blow his mind when he thought about it. Finishing his life out here in this time would give him the opportunity to witness it all firsthand—the speeches, the breakthroughs, the prizes awarded to James for his genius. He could actually be in the audience during those speeches. If their friendship continued to flourish, he could even possibly be at James' side for some of it.

_But not much of it, because you can't interfere. You can't allow your presence to change anything. So you can see it all happen, but from a distance. That's the downside of being here, Logan. You can look but not touch, in a manner of speaking. You are only here to make sure he hands in that assignment, and the rest..._

There would be no rest. Logan would have to step back then. His mission would be complete. At that point he could decide where and how to spend his life, and it might prove too difficult to be near James. Having James close but not being able to act on his feelings or even remain a friend (since he might inadvertently affect the future) would be almost impossible to live through.

_This is your time, Logan. This is all you have, these next few months. Treasure every second with him or even in his presence, because it'll be gone before you know it. _

Logan sighed and watched the procession of photos that appeared on the screen. All were from public appearances, as James hadn't been photographed elsewhere except on rare occasions. There was one photo that he'd allowed to be taken of his research team; that one was from inside his lab, which he'd had built in the home he would one day move into. Logan called up that one now and verified that there hadn't been any women on the team. Neither of the faces were familiar from this time, so either James hadn't met these people yet or Logan hadn't been introduced to them. It made sense that he would put together his team after high school, once he knew his true calling.

_No sign of anyone's little sister, though. If she's the one who came up with the complex solution to radiation poisoning via genetic alteration, wouldn't she want to work with him and be on the research team? And wouldn't James insist on it?_

Yes. It just added credence to his belief that all of it had come from James.

The water shut off. Logan hurriedly powered down his James drive and dropped it into the pack before returning that to its hiding place. By the time the door opened and James entered, Logan had removed his shirt and was searching through Carlos' drawer for a clean one to wear to bed.

"Did you text your mom?" he asked, turning to study James' face for the truth. It was pink from being scrubbed, hair wet but combed, and then Logan's mouth dried up when his gaze drifted below.

James apparently hadn't found a shirt yet either. A light smattering of hair covered his torso, then it was a long expanse of smooth, surprisingly golden skin that stretched down to a waistband of denim. Logan's eyes took in every hint of muscle in the toned body that was exposed to leave him breathless.

"Yes," James answered in annoyance. "Here, Mother, I—" He'd been about to hold out his phone but stopped when he took in the sight of Logan. Thankfully he was unaware of Logan's scrutiny due to his own. Hazel eyes roamed over the surface of Logan's bare skin, making him self-conscious enough to turn away.

"Here," he said gruffly before tossing a t-shirt James' way. He didn't bother to make sure James caught it, not trusting himself to look at James again until he was properly clothed. Logan focused on the drawer and found another shirt for himself. He heard the sound of shoes and clothing hitting the carpet.

_Just put on the shirt already, I'm not made of stone!_

He waited at least a minute to glance behind him and deemed it safe; James' torso was covered. "So you texted her?"

James held out the phone and Logan stepped closer to read the display.

"_I'll be home in the morning. I'm safe."_

"_Please come home now."_

"_Don't call me. I'm going to bed."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you, too. Night."_

"Good. I know you did that for me, but I'm sure your mom was glad to hear from you."

"Whatever. You cool if I turn off the light?"

_Please. _ _I can't stop staring at you. _"Sure."

James didn't say anything for awhile once that was done. Unsure if he wanted to go straight to sleep, Logan respected the silence and settled in for the night. What he really wanted was to get James talking, but he was going to let James lead in that aspect. He didn't need the surly attitude from earlier returning anytime soon.

"Did you have a girlfriend back home?" James suddenly asked. "Before your parents...you know. Before you moved here."

Logan's eyes flew wide open in the dark. Maybe James _had_ noticed him staring. "No."

"There was nobody?"

"Not really. There was someone I cared for, but we weren't together."

"Not into you?"

"Didn't even know I was alive," Logan answered honestly. _ He sure does now._

"That sucks. Carlos deals with that a lot, always going for girls who don't pay attention to him."

"You don't seem to have that problem."

"Guess not. It's exhausting sometimes, though. But overall, it's nice to know there's somebody there who cares."

"I can imagine. I heard you have a girlfriend?"

"I don't know. There's a girl, but she's..."

_Brainless? A bitch? Totally wrong for you?_ "Not what you're looking for?"

"Hard to say. Sometimes..."

Logan turned over onto his left side, sensing that James was about to confide things he normally didn't. "What? You can tell me anything, James."

"I know. That's what I like about you; I don't feel like you'd judge me, even for the scary stuff."

"Scary stuff?"

"Just...stuff that most people wouldn't understand. I'm just saying that sometimes I'm not sure what I'm looking for. And I'm afraid that once I find it, I can't have it. That I'll just spend my whole life wanting someone I can never have."

It was like James was seeing into his soul. "I know how that feels," Logan whispered. "It's a very lonely existence."

"Yeah. Mandy's there at least, you know? She's my girl."

_Oh, don't I know it._ "But is having someone there that you don't really like better than being alone?"

"Isn't it?"

"I don't know," Logan answered honestly. "I've never had someone."

"So...you're a virgin?"

No, Logan wasn't. In college those hormones had forced him to find outlets, and he'd had a handful of lovers. None had fulfilled him the way he'd imagined James could, but as James had been out of his reach (by about two hundred years), they did the job. However, admitting to James now that he'd experienced sex went against the sheltered background he was currently maintaining as truth. Unless...

"No. Nobody knows about it, and I need it to stay that way. But I'm not."

James didn't reply.

"Are you?"

"Me? Nah. Been around that block plenty of times. Did you do it for the same reasons? Because you didn't want to be alone?"

"I think for me it was more...if I didn't do it, I'd go crazy. I thought about it all the time."

"Sex?"

"Yeah. Don't judge me."

"Trust me, I don't," James laughed. "Been there, too."

"So that's your reason? Because you're horny?"

"Sometimes. Other times it's to try to like...not think. Because life is hard and I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind if I don't distract myself from thinking. Does that make sense?"

"It does. Is that why you drink, too? To forget?"

A long pause was followed by, "Did Carlos tell you about the drinking?"

"It was obvious you were hungover today. But I did overhear them talking. That's why they're so worried about you. Besides the fact that you don't talk to them, I mean."

"Well, when they go through what I am, they can judge me then. It's not their business."

"Yes it is, because if either of them were the ones getting drunk every night, wouldn't it be yours? Wouldn't you care?"

"It's not every night." James was starting to get defensive again. "I'm not a fucking alcoholic."

"They just don't want you to get to that point. And James? There are healthier ways to distract yourself and to stop thinking."

"Yeah, sex."

Logan chuckled. "I think you just like sex and look for any excuse," he teased.

"Hey, look who's talking! You said you had to have it or you'd lose your mind."

"It's the truth," Logan smiled. "Please don't repeat that, though."

"No way, dude. Anything we say when it's just us, that's private. Just you and me."

Logan really liked the sound of that.

"And you know what's funny?" James asked. "Sex was great at first. It did the job of helping me forget. But lately...I swear to God, if you tell anyone I said this..."

"James, I won't. You can tell me anything and it stays between us."

"Okay. I guess...lately sex is just...sex. Like it's not exciting anymore. It feels good, but five minutes later I'm right back to the bad place. The high doesn't last. Did that happen with you? Did you get bored with it?"

"I don't know that I'd call it bored, but it definitely got to a point where I didn't have to have it all the time. I think that's just part of maturing, though. It's amazing at first but then your hormones back off and you can function without it again. At least for me, that's how it's been."

"So you're cool without it now? You never miss it?"

"Of course I do. Just not enough to get it from whoever's right there. Now I'd want it to be with someone special."

"Special," James echoed. "I wonder what that's like."

"Maybe one day you'll find it." In this Logan couldn't even hint at James' future, because his sex life was something that would always remain private. He had no idea if James would go through life alone in that sense. "I hope you do. You deserve it."

"So do you. I think you're gonna be smart about it and wait for the right person."

_I already found you. And it doesn't even matter, because I can't have you. _ "We'll see."

"Yeah. Thanks for talking to me. I feel better about...everything. I mean, my life is still shit, but I feel like..."

"You're not alone."

"Exactly. It's...nice."

"Yeah, it is." Logan smiled, wishing they weren't in separate beds because he thought sleeping next to James might be the most incredible night of his life. "What time are you leaving in the morning?"

"I need to be home by eight so I can get ready for the game and have time to get out there early for practice. Would you go with me?"

_Anywhere._ "To the game?"

"Well yeah, but I meant home. In the morning. I don't want to face Mom alone, she'll try to have a discussion with me and it'll turn into a fight and I don't need that right before a playoff game. If you're there, she'll be polite and not cause a scene. Please, Logan?"

Like he would say no to more time with James? _And_ the opportunity to possibly meet Brooke? "Promise me you'll sit down and have a real talk with her tomorrow night?"

"I won't be home. I have a date with Mandy and before that, it's hockey."

"James, this is important. You need to _make_ time, because...well, not to sound harsh, but you don't have a lot left with her. And I know you'll hate yourself if you wait until it's too late."

James sighed. "I don't know what to say to her. 'Hey Mom, you're dying and it sucks and I don't know how to deal with it.'"

"Why not?"

"I can't say that."

"Why not?" Logan repeated. "It's the truth."

"I don't know." James sounded so dejected. "I just want to stop feeling all this. I want it to be over."

"I know," Logan said quietly. "And one day it will be. For now, though...you have to make things right. She needs to know how much you love her. And so do you."

"Okay. I'll think about it. But will you come home with me in the morning?"

"Of course. I'm here for you, James. Always."

The word hung in the air between them, the last sound either of them would make for the night outside of rustling bedcovers and light snores. Logan fell asleep listening to James' even breathing and knowing that for the moment, James was safe.

There was nothing else he needed.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N—Finally back with a new chapter! A lot going on lately so I haven't been able to devote as much time to writing as I'd like to, but luckily I have much of this story already written so I'm still able to post. Yay! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter! We left off with James and Logan falling asleep in Carlos' room (though I guess technically it's now Logan's room as well).

* * *

Sylvia made them breakfast early the next morning, after Logan slipped out to "inform" her of James' presence. To their credit, neither of the parents asked James when or why he'd arrived, helping him to relax more. He declined their offer of a ride home and after grabbing the shirt he'd worn the previous day, he waved goodbye with a "See you at the game."

Together they walked the quiet neighborhood street side by side. Logan could tell by the lack of conversation that James was dreading the upcoming interaction with his mother.

"It's not far," James finally said after they'd make it a block.

Logan knew that. "I'm not worried about it." After a moment he added, "I'm worried about _you_, though. You all right?"

James shrugged. "Just want to get in and out. If Mom bugs you, just ignore it. You don't have to answer her questions."

"Well, I'm not going to be rude."

"Why not? She probably will be."

Comments like that made Logan sad for James. He didn't know if the woman truly was horrible, or if James just perceived her that way. He'd soon find out. "I'll be fine."

"Okay. I'll hurry, so you don't have to be alone with her for long. Unless you want to come up to my room?"

That was a tough choice—spend time getting to know Brooke, or see what James' room looked like? He could tell a lot about James by how he chose to surround himself. "I guess we'll see how it goes. How are we getting to the game? Is she driving us?"

"Shit, I didn't even think of that. Kendall's mom usually picks me up. But she'll have Carlos with her and I'm sure Katie will come, so I don't know if there's enough room for all of us plus the hockey gear."

"So that's a no? About your mom?"

"Mom doesn't leave the house unless it's a doctor appointment or something like that."

"Oh." Choosing his words carefully, Logan asked, "Is she um...is it that advanced?"

"I don't really know," James admitted. "We don't talk about it much."

"The cancer?" Logan clarified in disbelief. "You don't talk about that?"

"Look, it's not easy, okay? It's not just me—she doesn't like to, either. So we just...don't."

"Okay, calm down, I wasn't judging you."

"Sure sounded like you were."

Logan stopped walking and reached out to halt James' progress. James stopped with Logan's hand around his wrist but didn't face him.

"I wasn't," Logan sighed. "I just...I don't get how you guys don't communicate about this. It's no wonder you feel so alone. She probably does, too."

"It's not like...I mean, I've asked. She tells me not to worry about it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She told me the news and I asked some questions at the time, but mostly I was just in shock. When I tried to talk to her about it the next day, she didn't want to. Said there's nothing we could say to change the situation, so it's not worth talking about."

James had said the exact same thing to Logan the day before. No wonder James was so closed up about the whole thing; it ran in the family. "How long ago was that?"

"I think in January? I don't even know how long she has before...you know."

_I do. I know exactly when her time will come. _Part of Logan wanted to share that information with James, if only to underscore to him the importance of making amends now so that he could spend her last few months in a good place with her. Logan knew he couldn't, though. "That's why it's important to tell her all this now. How you're feeling, how scared you are and how much you love her. It's easier to be angry than sad, and you're letting the anger take over now so you don't have to face the hard stuff. But James...eventually you'll have to." He slid his fingers down to link with James', hoping the affection wouldn't be rebuffed. "And I want you to do it now, before it's too late for you to say all the things in your heart."

James' gaze fastened to their joined hands. His face gave nothing away of the thoughts going on behind it, but he did tighten the grip. "I don't know how."

"Start with telling her what you told me last night. That the whole thing sucks and you don't know how to deal with it."

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, she'll tell me to man up or something. To get over it."

"Really? She'd honestly say that?"

"I don't know," James sighed. He looked away and pulled his hand free. "Maybe before all this she would've. Now...I really don't know."

"Try it and see. I bet she's just as scared as you are. More, probably."

"I always thought Mom wasn't afraid of anything."

"Everyone's afraid of something, James." Hadn't he said the same words to Carlos on his first night here? Yes, he'd mentioned that Kendall was afraid of losing Carlos. And in Brooke's case it was most likely... "I bet she's afraid to leave you alone. That's why she wants you home so much. She's scared for you."

James' silence was proof that the words were at least being considered.

"I know this isn't the best time, you'll be in a hurry and your mind needs to be on hockey. But tonight. Please. Just sit down and talk to her. Tell her what's on your mind. Find out what's on hers. They're probably closer than you think."

Rather than answer, James got moving again.

Logan followed. "You want me to shut up?"

"Yes and no," James replied. "I don't really want to hear what you're saying, but I know it's true. You're like that friend I both love and hate at the same time."

_You love me? _The thought brought a grin to Logan's face. "So we're friends?"

"Eh, I haven't made up my mind."

"Nope, you already said it. Can't take it back." Logan purposely bumped shoulders with James, his steps lighter.

"You're annoying. You never shut up when I'm hungover, you just keep talking."

"That's a sign you shouldn't drink."

"That's a sign you need to shut up."

Logan continued to smile because he heard that the threat was a cover for feelings James wasn't comfortable with. He let James lead him across the street, amused at the way James held him back until he knew it was safe. "Look at you, checking to make sure I don't get hurt. I'm so your friend."

James slid an arm over his shoulders. "Keep talking and see how long that lasts."

Logan wound his arm around James' waist. "It'll last."

"Don't count on it, I'm a dick."

Logan turned the smile up at James, who asked, "How can you be so sure?"

_Because you cried within three hours of officially meeting me, and you never cry. I'm meant to be here for you. _"I just know."

"Oh, what are you, psychic?"

"I guess in a manner of speaking. I can see the future."

"Yeah? Can you tell me if the team is gonna win today?"

"No, but I _can_ say that you'll be the best player out there."

"Really. Even though you've never seen me play, never even seen the team play. Even though all I can think about is my mother dying."

"Yep. Today is your day, my friend. Play for her."

James was the one to halt this time. He looked down into Logan's gaze. "I will. She won't be there, but I'll play for her. I'll _win_ for her."

Logan's heart wrenched at the sight of wetness gathering in James' eyes. "I know you will." He hugged James tighter against his side. "I promise, it's gonna be okay."

"I believe you when you say things like that," James whispered. "I don't know why, but I do."

Logan nodded. He really wanted to kiss James; instead he offered a smile, relieved when James' mouth turned up in reply.

* * *

Here he was, back at 4522 Lockwood Drive, and this time he was an invited guest. It had taken him two days to accomplish that. Logan thought the future team would be proud, if they had any way of knowing.

For all he knew, they did. Maybe they'd sent along someone to keep an eye on his progress without his knowledge. It didn't matter; he wasn't going to change his actions, especially since they seemed to be working. James' fingers intertwining with his as they approached the front door was proof of that.

He let their hands separate once they were inside a foyer. Logan could feel the tension rolling off him. The house seemed quiet. "She's probably still asleep," James offered in a hushed tone. "She sleeps a lot these days. Maybe I won't even have to—"

"James? Is that you?"

James groaned softly. "Well, at least her supersonic hearing still works." Louder he called out, "Yeah, Mom. Just here to get my stuff for the game."

"I'm coming down! Let me make you breakfast!"

"No, it's okay! I already ate at Carlos'. Really Mom, I'm just gonna be in and out." He turned to Logan. "Just wait here, okay? Or...you can sit in the living room if you want. I'll be quick."

Logan nodded, sensing that James just wanted to be away from this place. Exploring James' room would have to wait. He still had no idea how they were getting to the game, but James probably had a plan in mind he hadn't shared.

He watched James jog up a carpeted staircase, then moved slowly into the living room and looked around while trying not to freak out in excitement. This was _James Diamond's home_. The future part of himself that had spent much of his life wondering what this very house might look like was in awe.

The furniture was elegant, giving off a feel as if it hadn't been used much. There were no electronics in the room; Logan would guess James had all of that in his bedroom and spent his time there when present. Plants that appeared to be for decoration only were scattered along the walls. The room was dim due to the curtains being closed, but Logan was still able to clearly make out framed photographs hung around the space. All were of James and a woman Logan assumed was his mother; no father in evidence at all, which was strange since he'd only left a few years previously according to James.

Logan smiled at the younger versions of James—some posed portraits, others photos that were taken on trips or outdoor locations like parks. In one he stood next to a crooked snowman with a proud grin on his face that matched the ones shared by his two accomplices (definitely Carlos and Kendall, grade school era). The photos balanced on the mantel of a fireplace seemed more recent and featured James on stage or in his hockey uniform. Logan thought he looked natural in both settings.

The wall directly to the right of the fireplace seemed to be reserved for awards and certificates. Logan stepped closer to read them, expecting that here he would finally find proof of James' genius. Instead he found that all but one had been given to Brooke for varying shows of excellence in her business, which appeared to be a cosmetics company she'd named after herself. The one belonging to James was from a middle school and it proclaimed him "Performer of the Year 2008" in choir. Glancing at the mantel again, Logan found a matching photo—a shorter James in black pants and a white long-sleeved shirt, smiling as he held up the certificate.

"He was extremely proud of that," a strong voice shared, sending Logan into a gasp as he spun around. "It's the first award he ever received."

Brooke Diamond had silently joined him, Logan so caught up in the pictures that he hadn't even sensed her presence. In the photos he'd just been eyeing, the woman was formidable in business suits, her hair perfectly coiffed and make-up expertly applied. Now her hair hung to her shoulders, bangs flopping over her forehead. Her face was mostly bare of make-up, except perhaps a gloss to keep her lips moist and possibly mascara; Logan wasn't versed enough in the art of cosmetics to know for sure. She wore black cotton stretch pants and a warm green sweater even though the temperature in the house was comfortable.

Her eyes were still bright and keen, her posture tall and straight, as she studied him. "I'll assume you're Logan."

"Um. Yes, ma'am." Suddenly remembering his manners (and ignoring the voice in his head that was screaming "THIS IS BROOKE DIAMOND!"), he shuffled toward her with his hand out. "An honor to meet you."

Brooke met him halfway with a smirk. "An honor? You know of the company, then?"

Logan dropped his hand after they shook, realizing he shouldn't have used the word. "Oh. No, I...just...things I've heard."

"Surely not from my son. He's not my biggest fan."

Logan looked toward the staircase, then moved closer to Brooke to whisper, "I think he is, actually. So much that he can't face you or what's happening."

James had definitely inherited his mother's magnetic eyes. Logan could feel them seeing straight into his soul as she studied him. "You're the new foster child over at the Garcias'?"

"Yes."

She nodded. "James stayed there with you last night? I understood that Carlos was at the Knight home."

"Um...if that's Kendall's house, then yes."

"It is." Her gaze narrowed. "He talked to you? About me?"

With Logan's luck, James would arrive just in time to hear Logan betray his confidence; he had to be careful. "He did."

"And what did he tell you that he can't tell me?"

Logan hesitated. "Not much," he said slowly. "But I do know that it would mean a lot to him if you came to the game today. I'm not sure you're able to, but if there's any way..."

The steel in her eyes softened. "He said that? He wants me to go?"

"No. That's one of those things he didn't say, but I understood anyway. I think he'd play better if you were there."

Brooke licked her lips. "I don't get out much these days. It's...difficult. To face people who knew me before...and all the questions, it's exhausting."

"We can sit way at the back."

"Won't you be with your new family?"

Logan shrugged. "Who says you can't be family?"

Brooke continued to stare into Logan's eyes until they heard James pounding down the stairs. "Okay, let's—Mom!"

One corner of Brooke's lips turned up. "Don't be so surprised to see me, I _do_ live here. Give me ten minutes." She moved past James, who had stopped at the entrance to the living room. Her progression slowed once she reached the steps, and Logan could see that it was difficult for her to climb them. He was tempted to offer his assistance but thought she would probably rebuff it.

"Ten minutes?" James echoed. "For what?"

"I'm going to the game. If you boys don't win today, this will be the last one. I'm not missing it."

James dropped a huge duffel bag to the carpet and twisted toward the stairs. "What? You're coming?"

"I just need to run a brush through my hair and change my shoes. Don't argue with me, James, this is happening."

Once she'd cleared the steps, James turned to Logan in shock. "What the hell did you say to her?"

"Nothing. She asked if I'm Logan and if you'd stayed with me last night. I said yes to both, which...how does she know my name?"

"Carlos' mom probably mentioned you were coming to live here. They used to talk a lot, her and Mama Knight and my mom. I don't know how much they do anymore. But really? That's all you said?"

No, but James didn't need to know that. "Are you okay with her coming?"

"I...don't really know how to feel about it. Mom doesn't like to go out."

"Well, for you she's willing." Logan closed the distance so that he could speak quietly to James. "She misses you. I can tell. Will you stay home tonight? With her?"

James' gaze traveled around as if trying to escape the question. "I'll think about it."

"James, please. You need to talk about it."

"She doesn't want to."

"Make her."

James bit down on his bottom lip. "Maybe _I _don't want to."

"Time is short." Logan reached out for James' hand, continuing once he was holding it. "You can come over after if you need to. Sneak in again. Carlos won't mind."

James was almost there. He finally looked at Logan, who was trying to ignore that their bodies were practically touching. "Will you...can you...?"

"What, James? Anything."

"Can you be here? Come home with me after we celebrate? I don't know if I can do it alone."

Logan swallowed; he wanted to, but... "Um...I think you two need to discuss that alone."

"And I'm telling you that I won't have the courage to do it alone. I'll chicken out. You ever tell anyone I said that and—"

"Hey," Logan whispered, unable to fight it anymore. Keeping one hand wrapped around James', he used his free arm to slide around James' waist and pull him close. When he spoke it was directly into James' ear, their cheeks brushing together. "Your secrets are safe with me," he murmured. "I'd never betray you or hurt you. I'm here to keep you safe."

The warmth of James' arm wrapped around to hug Logan closer, then James freed his hand so that he could use both to keep Logan in place. Nothing felt like this, like being pressed against James in an embrace. Everything in him was screaming to kiss James, to use his lips for further reassurance. Instead he closed his eyes and buried his face in the crook of James' neck, inhaling the scent that belonged to no one else.

"Then come home with me. It's not a school night, I'm sure Sylvia would let you stay over. You could sleep on the couch if you're not comfortable in my bed, or I'll sleep on the couch. I don't care, I just know I'll need you to get through this."

If Logan couldn't feel James' breath on his temple, he would've thought he was dreaming; he was being offered everything he'd ever dreamed of, except of course that next step. Still, sharing a bed with James...possibly even cuddling...

_You'd be an idiot to say no to that, Logan. It's not going to go anywhere, and it won't affect the mission._ "I don't mind sharing a bed with you."

He heard James' intake of breath at the same time that James' fingers pressed harder into his skin. Logan wanted to believe that James was feeling the same attraction, but his reaction could also be from revulsion at the thought. "I won't...I promise I'll..."

"What?" Logan asked, lifting his head to look into James' eyes. His lips brushed over smooth skin along the way, and there was no mistaking the shiver that ran through James at the trail across his neck.

James stepped back, arms crossing over his chest in a defensive position. "I'll sleep on the floor. You can have the bed."

He'd pushed it too far. James felt a million miles away now. Logan tried not to sound disappointed when he replied, "We'll figure it out later. If you need me here tonight, I'll be here."

James nodded and cleared his throat. "Mom? You almost ready? I gotta get there in time for practice!"

"Relax, James, I'm coming. I know what time you have to be there."

"I'm gonna go put my stuff in the car."

_Anything to be far away from you_, that tone said. Logan nodded. "Want me to help, or..."

"No, if you don't mind could you wait for Mom?"

"Sure. I'll make sure she makes it out there safely."

"Thanks, Logan. You're uh...not so bad."

It was better than nothing, Logan supposed. He was about to turn away when James called his name from the front door. "Yeah?"

"I've decided. We're friends."

Logan grinned. It wasn't what he wanted most, but it was the best he was going to get and not a bad consolation prize. "Yeah, I knew that an hour ago, buddy."

"Shut the fuck up," James laughed before disappearing from the open door.

"James?" Brooke yelled from upstairs. "Where are my keys?"

"I think he has them, Mrs. Diamond. He went out to the car."

"Always in such a hurry," she muttered from the landing. "Logan? Would you be a dear and grab my coat from the front closet? It's the long gray one!"

"No problem!"

Before he did that, though, he sped up the stairs to take her arm for the trek down. She argued that she was fine, but Logan helped her anyway; she could protest all she wanted, but it was clear that the staircase was a daily dose of hell for her lack of energy. She graciously allowed him to guide her toward the bottom, and once there he retrieved the coat and helped her into it.

"Well, someone taught you manners, young man. Perhaps you can teach James a thing or two."

Logan smiled. "Trust me, Mrs. Diamond. I plan to teach James plenty."

"Good, the poor boy needs it. And Logan? My name is Brooke."

"Yes, ma'am. Let me get the door and then I'll help you down the porch."

"It's three steps. Don't make me sound like an invalid."

"There's no shame in taking help when you need it."

Logan could tell from the glare she threw at him that she highly disagreed. Perhaps Logan would be teaching_ her_ a thing or two, as well.

* * *

James sat in the front seat and mostly grunted answers to the questions Brooke asked in an effort to get her son talking. At one point Logan kicked the back of James' seat, hoping to prod him into meeting her halfway, but James ignored the hint.

Finally Brooke said, "Well, if you won't talk to me, maybe Logan will. Tell me about yourself, Logan."

It felt like a huge, bright spotlight had been suddenly aimed at him and he froze up. James came to the rescue.

"Mom, leave him alone. He's had a rough week."

"That doesn't mean he can't talk about it. Some people actually believe that talking_ helps_, James."

"Not you," James mumbled.

From his position in the backseat, Logan saw Brooke toss a glare at James before she said, "So your parents were killed? Sylvia mentioned a fire?"

Here was the interrogation he'd expected from Sylvia or Papi; he'd not foreseen that Brooke would be the one to put him on the spot. "Yes. I don't like to talk about it. I'm sorry."

"That's understandable," Brooke nodded. "But sometimes it's better to talk about death. It brings the fear out into the open and makes it less terrifying. Wouldn't you agree, Logan?"

This didn't sound at all like the Brooke James had described; hadn't he said she refused to discuss the subject? When he met her direct gaze in the rear view mirror, he saw something in it that surprised him.

_Pleading. She's asking me to help her. Trying to bridge that gap._ It was exactly what Logan had been trying to get James to do. "I...do. Yes. Grief is hard, but sharing it with others makes it bearable. I wish I'd known what was going to happen to my parents. I wish I'd had time with them to say everything I wanted to say and to express my fears about being alone once they were gone. I think it would've made the whole process easier. Not that losing a parent could ever be easy, but...at least that way I wouldn't be spending the rest of my life in regret."

This time the glare came from James, and it was aimed at Logan. He felt it on him in the car's side mirror. "Maybe it would be easier to not know ahead of time," James pointed out. "Then you don't have to feel so much...so many _feelings._"

"Oh, you still feel the feelings," Logan assured him. "Trust me. The difference is that when you know ahead of time, you can do something about it. You can talk about them and share them and...make sure your parents end things on their terms. Give them peace before they die. If I could go back in time—" Logan barely held in a snort at that. "—I'd do things differently. I wouldn't waste the time I was given."

The glare softened. Logan watched it change to sadness with a bit of confusion mixed in. He wished James was next to him so he could hold his hand or hug him. "You know," James finally sighed, "this is the worst conversation I could have before a playoff game. I need to be pumped up. I need to go out there pissed off and ready to kill."

_I could kiss you. That would certainly piss you off. _Logan smirked remembering James' outrage the night they'd first met. _ That_ James would've taken down another hockey team in five seconds.

"Well, get there fast," Brooke said, "because we're here." She turned into the lot of an ice rink, seeming to brace herself and sit up taller. "Looks like Jennifer beat us. I don't see Sylvia's van, though."

"They'll come later," James commented as he unbuckled his seat belt. "Carlos came with Kendall, so they didn't need to be here in time for practice." Once the car rolled to a stop, James asked, "Logan, can you grab my stuff? I need to get in there."

"Sure." He opened his door and passed James the pile of hockey gear that had been next to him. "Do you need help, Brooke?" Logan realized too late he shouldn't have offered, because that gave her a chance to say no; with Brooke, you just had to do it and risk her wrath.

"I'm fine, Logan," she answered in annoyance. "Just...give me a second."

"Take your time." Unsure whether Brooke was preparing herself physically or mentally for the upcoming event, Logan stepped out of the car and shut his door.

"See ya later," James muttered. "Stay close to her."

"I will." Logan grabbed James' sleeve before James could run off. "Hey."

James reluctantly halted, not wanting to hear whatever Logan had to say.

"You know all that anger you keep inside? The rage you feel whenever you think about what the cancer is doing to your mom?"

James' eyes widened as his mouth dropped open. Betrayal stared back. "What the hell, Logan? Are you trying to make me lose my focus?"

"No, I'm giving you a target for it. Let it out once you get on the ice. Imagine that puck is the cancer, and it's ruining your life. Unleash your anger. Release it. Play harder than you've ever played in your life." He leaned closer to whisper, "She loves you so much. Make her proud."

James blinked against tears, but he nodded. "I gotta go."

"Okay. See you after the game?"

"Yeah. You're staying over, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Logan smiled.

The clouds in James' eyes seemed to dissipate. A lopsided grin appeared and James bit his bottom lip. "You'd better cheer for me."

"Always," Logan promised. The pull to kiss James was harder than ever to resist, and it might've been wishful thinking but Logan could swear James wanted him to. "Go win for me. For _her._"

James licked his lips. Logan leaned a little closer, unable to fight the magnet between them, and James surprised him by not stepping back this time. His gaze invited Logan to finish the thought.

"James, come on! We need you in here!"

That would be Carlos, King of Worst Timing Ever. Logan recognized the voice shouting across the parking lot—the same one that seemed to clear James' head enough to realize what he'd been about to do. He turned away. "See ya."

"Yeah."

"Logan! Sup!"

Logan returned the wave from Carlos with a forced smile. _I'll get you for this. Just wait until you're two seconds away from kissing Kendall._ "Good luck!"

Carlos gave him a thumbs up, then they both disappeared into the building. James hadn't looked back.

Behind him, a car door slowly opened. "Logan?"

"Yes, ma'am?" He shifted his thoughts away from James.

"Brooke. It's Brooke."

"Right." Logan rushed around the hood of the car.

"Just to be clear, I don't _need_ your help getting inside the building."

"Right."

"But the drive did tire me out a bit and I'd rather not use up what energy I have left before the game even starts."

"Of course. Say no more."

Seeing through her bluster, Logan assisted Brooke in moving from the car to the rink. She leaned heavily on him and he was happy to be her strength.

In the future, he wouldn't verbally offer, nor would he make her ask. She was going to lean on him whether she liked it or not.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N—Moving on to the next chapter! This one pretty much just deals with the hockey game, but Logan does get some answers to questions he's had. I hope you enjoy, and I'm grateful to all of you for sticking with the story! :)

* * *

"Let go of me once we're inside," Brooke whispered. "I don't need them all pitying me."

"Understood." Logan made sure she was steady, then moved away as they came into view of the ice and the stands. "And for the record? We're not sitting at the top. I should've realized there would be steps. Are you good with—"

"Brooke?! Brooke!"

Brooke stiffened her spine and pasted a smile on her face while Logan spun around to see a lithe body jogging toward them. The flaming red hair was familiar and it took Logan a second before he realized where he'd seen it. "Jennifer?!"

She ignored him to hug Brooke tightly. "It's good to see you! I had no idea you were coming, I could've driven you!"

"It's fine, I drove myself." Brooke cleared her throat and moved out of the embrace. "This is Logan, he's—"

Jennifer blinked at him. "Logan! I can't believe I didn't put two and two together the day we met, you said you were moving in with a family who lived on Beech and I knew Sylvia was taking in a new foster child! When Carlos mentioned your name last night I realized it must have been you. How _are_ you?!"

Logan was tackled with a hug next, and he had to admit it felt comforting. Jennifer's enthusiasm was contagious. "I'm good, you were right and the family's great. I didn't know you were Kendall's mom! How are you even old enough to—"

"Oh stop, you charmer," Jennifer blushed. She took Brooke's hand. "Come sit with us, Katie's saving our seats right up front." They had no choice but to follow, Logan grateful Brooke wouldn't have to climb any stairs. The sound of skates digging into ice and pucks being smacked back and forth were loud in the building. Logan took a second to watch the action going on as they walked. He spotted James suiting up, but it was hard to make out the rest of the team due to helmets that covered their hair. Carlos was easy enough, as Logan knew where the goalie was positioned. The name "Knight" was emblazoned on the back of one jersey, so Logan assumed that was Kendall. The others...

_You're not going to know any of them, Logan. And any one of them could be the enemy. Anyone in this building could be._

The gravity of his situation hit with full force. It had been easy to forget about the impending danger when he knew James was safe with him, but now they were back in a place where he couldn't ignore that he was here to protect James.

_A hockey accident. Some sort of death on the ice. Improbable, but not impossible. How can I stop this?_

There really wasn't any way. James had to play the game. He had to win the trophy, or they wouldn't have the knowledge in the future to send Logan back to this time and place.

_But the trophy was still there. That means James will survive this game, because if he didn't he couldn't win the trophy. Relax, Logan. This is part of the past that you have to allow to happen. Don't interfere with anything!_

"Logan? Is Sylvia on the way?"

Logan glanced over at Jennifer, trying to shake off the sense of doom he was feeling. He was going to get to see James play hockey, what was there to not be happy about? "Uh...I'm not sure. I came with James. But I know they're coming."

"Okay, we'll save them seats. This is Katie, my daughter."

_Katie._ Logan's full attention shifted to Jennifer then. _Katie, the girl who does assignments for James._

Logan expected a sister who was a year, perhaps even two years, younger than Kendall. Instead a girl who looked to be no older than thirteen waved distractedly, her eyes following the action on the ice. "Hey."

"Hi." He needed to talk to her. If she had enough of an understanding of vaccines and genetic coding to come up with the formula credited to James, they were in serious trouble. Logan moved toward the stands, then hesitated when he remembered he'd promised James he would stay close to Brooke.

Brooke had taken a seat next to Jennifer. Katie was one tier above, behind her mother. _ Perfect. _ Logan climbed over the bottom bench to settle in behind Brooke. He leaned forward to whisper, "Need anything?" She shook her head, shoulders stiff and square. "Let me know if you do. I'm right here."

Brooke said nothing in response. Logan let it go, knowing she'd gotten the message. Jennifer took the opportunity to catch up with Brooke, leaving Logan free to figure out how he was going to quiz Katie without being obvious.

"So you're the new foster kid?"

Well, Katie opening up a line of dialogue definitely helped. He turned toward her on the bench. Her gaze was still following the bodies skating around on the ice, but Logan felt that she was much more attuned to his presence than she let on. He studied her—long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, intelligent brown eyes, a face that gave off an innocent vibe that she probably used to her advantage when she needed to. She appeared to be a typical thirteen-year-old, but so had Logan at that age; on the inside, he was light years ahead of his peers and practically out of high school. He'd have to be careful with this one.

"I am," he nodded. "Logan."

"You got any other family?"

"Uh...no. Just the Garcias now."

She fell back into silence, and Logan had just decided she was finished with him when she said, "Carlos is like family to me. Like a big brother."

Logan had no idea how to respond to that. "That's...good."

"It's great, he's a lot of fun. Less serious than James or Kendall, and he knows how to just be a kid."

"I can see that," Logan smiled. "He's been great to me."

"Yeah, he's a great guy." Katie suddenly twisted on the bench to pin Logan with a warning gaze. "We look out for him. Make sure no one messes with him."

Katie's eyes reminded Logan of Kendall's on the night they'd first met; the color was different, but the message was exactly the same. He relaxed, knowing now where she was headed with this. "Look, Kendall already gave me the speech. I'm not here to mess with Carlos or ruin his life in any way."

"Good, because we'll find a way to get rid of you if you do. I may be small, but you don't want to cross me."

"I believe it," Logan said slowly. "And I'm glad Carlos has someone like you to watch out for him. He uh..." Mindful of the parents within hearing range, he leaned over and whispered, "He told me you do work for him and James sometimes. School assignments."

Her brows shot up before she looked to make sure they hadn't been overheard. "Shh! Mom would kill me if she knew!"

"It's fine, I'm not going to tell anyone. I know what it's like to be the smart one in the room. It's not a bad thing to want to help people you care about. I'm sure James is like a brother to you too, right?"

"Totally. So don't mess with him, either."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Logan chuckled. _At least not in the sense you're thinking._ "What sort of things do you help them with? Math? Science?"

"Why?" she asked suspiciously. "Are you gonna turn us in?"

"No!" He laughed at her paranoia. "I was just curious. And thinking maybe I could take over some of that for Carlos, since he's been so nice to me. I don't really have a way to thank him."

"Oh. Well, mostly it's English assignments. They both suck at grammar and vocab. And sometimes math. Carlos isn't dumb, he just can't really focus long enough to learn the stuff permanently."

"And uh...James? He's probably smart in other areas, right?" That would make sense, now that Logan thought about it. Some of the greatest scientific minds in history couldn't grasp proper grammar.

"He's wicked on the ice." She gestured toward the rink.

"And wicked is...good?"

"Wicked is _amazing_. Kendall's the only center I've ever seen that's better than James, and that's saying something because Kendall's the best. When James is in the zone, he's unstoppable."

So James was a talented hockey player, but Logan had known that. "What else is James good at? Like in school?"

"Uh...he doesn't really like school. But he seems to do okay at history, like he's good with memorization. Probably from the acting stuff. Sometimes I run lines with him before an audition."

"Audition? So he's actively pursuing acting as a career?"

"Duh. If you don't know that about James, then you don't know him at all."

Logan was starting to believe that. It scared him. "What about like...science? Biology? That sort of thing?"

Katie shrugged. "Decent, I guess. When he tries, he does okay with that stuff. Lately he hasn't been trying that hard, but it's not like he's gonna be a scientist or a doctor after graduation, so does it really matter?"

Ice shot through Logan's veins. _Yes. Yes, it does matter. A lot._ "If he wants to graduate, it does." Logan tried to keep his thoughts from spinning out of control in panic. "So then um...you do those assignments for him, too? Biology?"

"I hate biology, so no. I heard him telling Kendall last weekend that he's about to flunk out of biology. I really want to help him but it's so much to learn. I mean, I have a basic understanding the human body, but the stuff they're studying now? Genes and DNA and microbiology? No amount of money is enough for me to give up an entire weekend trying to learn all that crap. Hey, do you know that stuff? Maybe you can help him!"

_Yes, I do. And everything I know I learned from him. _This was impossible. "I...will try. Carlos and I are having a study session tomorrow; maybe I can get James to come, too."

"You can try, but those two together is a mistake. They goof off and don't listen. Kendall's pretty good at keeping them in line, but if he's not in the mood you're screwed because it just turns into them hanging out and being dumb. Which ends in them breaking something and trying to figure out how to not get in trouble for it. Good luck with that."

Logan let out a breath, feeling like he was facing an insurmountable task. "Any advice?"

"Do it early in the morning, but not _too _early. They get cranky when they're tired. I'd say no later than ten. And promise them something fun when they're finished. Carlos works best if he knows he's getting a reward. James just has to not be in a bad mood. Which...he is all the time lately. Let Kendall handle him if he gets rude. And remind him that if he doesn't graduate, he won't get into that acting program. That's his dream, to be famous. Tell him he needs to do the work so he can get out of school and be famous."

_No worries on that score, he'll be more famous than he can handle. _ As long as he focused on school, at least. That would be Logan's job, to keep him on that course. "Okay. Thanks, Katie. So...you really don't know much about microbiology? Vaccines, radiation, that sort of thing?"

She rolled her eyes. "_Booooooring_. I'm twelve, I don't have to know that stuff yet. Let me be a kid."

Logan could've wept from relief. Katie hadn't come up with the assignment; it had been James. Or rather, would be. "No problem. What are you into, if not science?"

"Business. I'm going to make a ton of money."

"What sort of business?"

"Who cares, as long as it makes me rich?"

Logan laughed. He predicted her aspirations would change in time, as growing up tended to make children realize that money wasn't everything. "So I have a confession to make. Can you keep this between us?"

"Maybe." She'd spent most of the conversation with her eyes on the ice, but now she looked up at Logan.

"I've never been to an actual hockey game. Only seen some video here and there. Can you help me understand what's going on?"

"Seriously? You don't know hockey?"

"I know the rules and the plays. I've just...not..."

Another eye roll. "You read about it in books, right? Dude, you can't live your life through books! You have to experience things in real life!"

"That's why I'm here. Show me what hockey is all about."

"Okay, listen up. You see Carlos? He's the goalie. He keeps the puck from getting into the net when the other team tries to score."

"Right, I understand that."

"Looks like James is playing center today. That means he's got a lot to deal with, but he's good so I'm not worried. Kendall's covering left wing, which means..."

Logan listened closely, glad he finally had a valid excuse to stare at James for hours. There were definitely worse ways to pass the time.

* * *

Sylvia and Papi arrived about ten minutes before the game was due to start, with Papi taking the spot to Logan's left and Sylvia joining Brooke and Jennifer below them. Papi greeted Logan with a "Hey, son!" and a side hug before turning his enthusiasm toward Brooke. Unused to any sort of father figure in his life, Logan wasn't sure how to deal with Papi just yet; he did know that it was a welcome change.

They were both as thrilled to see Brooke as Jennifer had been. While keeping half his attention on James, Logan listened to Brooke answer their well-meaning questions with forced laughter. He began to understand that Brooke was used to being important, and now suddenly she didn't feel that way. Probably because of the retirement from her company, she had lost her purpose. It made sense that she'd made James her purpose now, and perhaps realized that he should have been her purpose all along.

Logan knew that it wasn't too late, though; he just had to make James see it.

As for James, he performed as well as he'd promised to. Hockey was a fast-moving game but Logan knew enough about it (along with Katie's help) to keep up, and by the end of the first period he was cheering as loudly as the rest of the crowd. While Kendall made more goals than anyone else on the team, James set those goals up and kept the opposing players away from him long enough to do the job. In the second period James did score himself, and Logan shot off the bench to scream for him while Brooke yelled, "That's my son!"

This was living.

James took a moment after to look for his mother in the crowd. She waved at him and he grinned, then did a double-take to wink. Logan's heart skipped a beat because he knew it had been for him, though if anyone asked it could be played off as aimed at Brooke.

There was a clear moment during the third period when it all hit Logan, where he was and what he was watching, and the little boy inside him who'd grown up idolizing this man had to fight to keep from crying from intense emotion. No matter what happened in June, whether he succeeded in his mission or not, he got this out of it. He'd made a dream come true and seen James Diamond play hockey. James had not only spoken to him, he'd _winked_ at Logan. It was almost too much to process.

_And tonight you're staying at his house. He called you a friend. This isn't a dream, Logan, it's happening. It's really happening. At some point before the month is out, you'll witness James being awarded that trophy. You'll see his happiness and pride, get to experience all of that with him. Life doesn't get any better than this._

Because the other team was also fantastic, it was a close game. The winning goal was made by Kendall in the last five seconds, with an assist from James. The crowd rose to its feet while Kendall and James hugged in victory before Carlos came speeding down the ice to crash into them with exuberant yells of joy.

"So what does this mean?" Logan asked Katie once they'd settled down. "That they won a playoff game? Was this the last one?"

"Nope, there's one more. This was the finals, now we play the championship game next week. The winner of that goes to state."

"Have we ever done that before?"

"Yeah, one time. They didn't win, but it was still cool that they went."

"I can imagine." Logan figured that if they'd made it to state this season, he probably would've read about it since it was so close to the breakthrough. It would've been mentioned in at least one of the articles about James. The game next weekend would most likely be James' last.

Logan wouldn't miss it.

Sylvia suddenly twisted around to smile up at Logan. "So? What did you think? How was your first hockey game?"

"Incredible," Logan grinned. "They all played so well. And you were right about Carlos, he's really good!"

"He's better than just 'really good'," Papi disagreed. "My boy won MVP last year! What do you think, Syl? Is he gonna get that again this year?"

"With the way James was playing?" Katie pointed out. "No way. Carlos is great, but James was on fire today. If he plays like that next week, they have to give it to him."

Logan offered nothing, but there was a smirk at his lips. Katie was absolutely right.

Sylvia caught his attention again. "Honey, are you coming home with us or going out with the boys to celebrate?"

"Oh, they invited me to join them."

"That's wonderful! I'm so happy they're including you in everything! But don't feel pressured, okay? I know you like your solitude, so if you want to come home with us, you can. Carlos will understand."

Brooke cleared her throat. "Well, I need to be getting home. It was fun to see you all again."

Logan hadn't thought much about Brooke during the game, but he looked closely at her now and saw that behind her smile, she was exhausted. Was she going to be okay driving home? "Uh...I left something in the car that I need to grab. Let me go with you, Mrs. Diamond. I mean _Brooke_." It was still hard for him to get used to.

She offered him a grateful nod. "Of course. Jen? Syl? Call me."

"Of course we will." Jennifer was there to ease her to her feet before hugging her. "We miss you, you know. Maybe one of these days you'll let us bring dinner over and we can all just watch a movie or something?"

Brooke struggled with her answer. "We'll see. You all take care."

Logan whispered to Katie, "How long do they stay? The boys?"

"They just have to rinse off and wait until the coach says they can go. You've got time to go with her."

"Thanks. I'll be right back."

As soon as they were out of the building, Brooke let her body relax. She might've collapsed if Logan hadn't been there to catch her. "Whoa, hey. Why don't you let someone drive you home? I'm sure Jennifer or Sylvia wouldn't mind."

"No, I need my car." She was slightly out of breath.

"I'll drive your car back."

She turned to him with one brow lifted. "You have a license?"

"I can drive," he evaded. He'd watched Brooke maneuver the vehicle on the way down and thought it wasn't all that different from what he was used to, except that there was no autopilot. He'd have to be mindful for the entire drive.

"That's not an answer, young man. And thank you, but I'm fine. I'll just rest for a few minutes in the car and then I'll be good to drive. Did I hear you say you're going out with the boys?"

"Yeah. And I don't know if James ever asked permission, but he'd like me to stay over tonight. I wanted to make sure it's okay with you."

"Stay over? At our place?"

"Is that a no?"

"It's fine, I'm just surprised James wants to be at home. Usually on the weekends he sleeps at Jennifer's or Sylvia's. At least that's what he tells me; I suspect that sometimes he's with a girl. And doesn't he have a date tonight? I thought he told me yesterday that he does."

"He's going to cancel it. He wants to be home with you."

"Ha, tell me another."

"Another what?"

"It's an expression, Logan. It means that I know you're lying. James would never _choose_ to stay home with me."

Logan snatched the keys from her hand once they arrived at the car. "Well, he did this time. But he asked me to stay over and...is that all right?" He lifted the door handle and nothing happened. He tried again. And again. "Why won't this door open?"

"Because it's locked, silly. Here." She reached over to press a button on a large black key. Logan heard a snap. "Now try."

This time he was successful in swinging the door open. "Oh." He was used to cars that unlocked when the key in close proximity. "Right."

Brooke got comfortable behind the steering wheel and closed her eyes with a deep sigh. "You didn't actually leave anything in the car, did you?"

"Uh...no."

"Thank you."

"Are you sure you're okay to drive? We can go back with you and then meet up with Carlos and Kendall after."

"Nonsense, the pizza place is across the street. I'm fine."

"Okay." He really didn't want to leave her. "Would you text me? When you get home?"

"Logan, for the love of God. You sound like my mother."

Great, so now Logan sounded like a grandma. "Sorry. I just...care."

Slowly her eyelids came up and that direct stare was on him, making him want to squirm. "Because you lost your own parents."

_Right, let's just pretend that's why._ Logan shrugged.

"Give me your phone."

Logan did without hesitation, realizing three seconds later it had been a mistake. Brooke was too smart.

"You never changed your background? This is the factory setting."

"I...no. I like it."

"Logan. Why don't you have any contacts other than the boys and Sylvia?"

_Damn. Damn damn damn._ "It's a new phone. The truth is I wanted a fresh start. No ties to my old life. It's like I'm starting over."

She gave him such a scrutinizing stare that this time he did squirm. "You must be ridden with guilt over something. Or suppressing so much grief you're about to explode."

"I'm just...trying to survive."

"Aren't we all?" she deadpanned. Ten seconds later she handed the phone back. "There. You have a new contact. I noticed James isn't in there. Change that."

The command had Logan looking up in surprise. "What?"

"You're good for him. He needs a friend like you. You're welcome to the house anytime, Logan. I'll order dinner in for all of us."

He swallowed. He was going to have dinner with James and his mother. Another dream come true. "Thank you."

"Just make sure to get him home. Preferably _without _that harpy he's seeing. I really don't like that girl."

Logan chuckled before confiding, "Don't tell James this, but I don't like her either."

She gave him a shrewd glance. "Somehow I'm not surprised. Take care of my boy, Logan."

"I will, Brooke. See you tonight. And—"

"Yes yes, I will text you. Now go be a kid and have fun while you can. Life is short."

She knew that better than anyone. Logan waved after she closed the car door. There was no reason to worry; he knew she'd be fine. He knew when her time would come and it wouldn't be today.

_Unless you altered that. You convinced her to come. Without you, she probably wouldn't have and for all you know, you shaved some time off her life by wearing her out today. This is why you can't interfere, Logan!_

Still, when he remembered James' joy as he'd looked for his mother after making the goal, Logan didn't regret it. He'd brought them a moment of happiness to share. No one could convince him there would be a negative ripple for that action.

* * *

"There you are! I thought you took off or something!"

Logan's head swung over to see who was talking to him, and it was another of those moments where his breath got caught in his throat. James' long hair was wet (he thought from a shower rather than sweat, as James had changed into jeans and a t-shirt), his skin was glowing, and he looked more relaxed and happy than Logan had seen him since coming to the past. It wasn't any of those things that caused Logan's heart to thrash in his chest, though.

It was the smile. The sheer relief and joy radiating from James at the sight of him. It was all for him.

Logan blushed as he shuffled toward the group gathered around the bottom of the bleachers. "Just wanted to make sure your mom got out okay."

Concern overpowered the elation in James' gaze. "She's okay, right?"

"Yeah. And she said it's fine for me to stay over."

"Oh. I never thought to ask."

Sylvia caught the end of that. She turned away from Jennifer and Papi. "You're staying at James' tonight?"

Oh. Right. He was a "minor." He needed to ask permission. Logan still wasn't used to that. "If it's okay with you guys. I'm sorry, I was going to ask and—"

"Well, Kendall's staying over at our place tonight. I just assumed it would be the four of you. James usually comes when Kendall does."

James moved closer to Logan as if they were forming a team against her. "I do, but tonight I really need to be with Mom. I thought maybe Logan could use a night away from..."

Right on cue, Carlos' ear splitting howl preceded him. He followed that with "Did you see us out there, Papi? Did you see?! We are_ so _going to state!"

"Ehhhhhhh!" Papi's enthusiasm matched his son's. He picked Carlos up off the ground and swung him around. "That's my boy!" They did some weird handshake that Logan couldn't keep up with and ended with a smack to each other's cheeks.

"Uh...that," James said quietly to Sylvia. "I thought Logan might need—"

"Say no more," Sylvia laughed. "But Logan, we really do need to get you some clothes! Carlos doesn't mind sharing, but—"

"I promise we can go tomorrow. Carlos and I are having that study session in the morning, and—oh James, you're invited to that, too—but Sylvia, I swear. Tomorrow afternoon. I'm yours."

"Okay. Just make sure Carlos passes history, _please_. And James, of course you're welcome."

"Thanks." With a smile at Logan, he added, "Logan's gonna help me, too. I think I need a nerd in my life."

"Well, you got one," Logan grinned, and had he ever sounded flirty before in his life? He was afraid he'd gone too far but then saw that James seemed to be responding with the same look in his eyes. No, he hadn't imagined it earlier; James _had_ been inviting that kiss.

There was a very distant warning bell going off in Logan's head that he ignored. Had he chosen to listen, it probably would've said something like "Do not interfere. You cannot affect his life in any meaningful way." Because of the way James was looking at him, Logan decided not to listen.

"Will you be home for dinner tonight, Logan?"

Sylvia was still there; Logan had almost forgotten. "Brooke said she was going to order dinner in for all of us."

"Seriously?" James said in surprise.

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

"It's...yeah, it's great. We can um...talk."

Logan nodded. Talking was exactly what the two of them needed to do.

Kendall was suddenly in their midst and everything got chaotic again. Logan watched everyone congratulating him on the winning goal (as well as all the others) and stepped back toward the barrier between them and the ice, feeling as if he was intruding. Though James showed no other sign of being aware of the move, his hand reached back to keep Logan near. It was enough to show Logan that he was welcome. He'd become part of the group.

_At least according to James and Carlos. Kendall probably has some strong feelings about that._

Logan wasn't going to let Kendall ruin his high. He waited patiently for the small crowd to disperse after instructions were given ("Don't eat too much pizza", "Be home in time for dinner", "Don't spend all your money on games", and of course "Call if you need a ride"). Jennifer surprised him by taking him aside and leading him away from the others.

"So, things are good, right? You're happy?"

"I am," he replied. "Honest. Why?"

"I just wanted to make sure. I know the boys can be a little intimidating sometimes."

_Mostly your son, yeah._ "They've been great. And Sylvia and Papi really do treat me like their own."

"They're good like that. And Brooke? I noticed you arrived with her, is she really doing okay?"

Logan bit his lip. Brooke might murder him for betraying her confidence; she and James were much alike in that sense. "I just met her today. She seems like she's struggling and doesn't want anyone to know."

"That sounds like Brooke," Jennifer nodded. "Did she drive herself home?"

"Yeah. I made her promise to text me when she gets there."

Jennifer smiled. "You're a good kid. I think I'm going to go crash her party. I'll see if Sylvia wants to join me. Just so we know she's okay."

"Keep in mind that she doesn't have a lot of energy, so if she seems tired let her rest. And don't call ahead, she'll say no."

"Oh, I know," Jennifer smirked. "We know how to handle Brooke. Katie said you're going to hold a study session at the house tomorrow?"

"That's the plan. We'll see how it goes."

"Kendall needs help with math. He hates it and thinks it's stupid. Please change his mind."

"I'll try," Logan laughed. He hugged her, glad that fate had brought her into his life. "Katie's great."

"She has her moments," Jennifer agreed before moving away. "Go have fun. And keep the boys out of trouble, would you?"

"No promises."

"Syl? Come on, we need to talk. Boys, we'll take all your gear home with us. As usual."

Sylvia and Papi hugged Logan and followed her toward the exit. Katie lagged behind with a wave to Logan. "Nice to meet you!"

"You, too. Thanks for the advice!"

Suddenly the four of them were alone, and it was awkward. Logan wasn't sure why. He hoped it wasn't his presence making it that way. Maybe Kendall really_ didn't_ want him along.

James settled a hand on Logan's shoulder. "We going or what? We've got a win to celebrate!"

"Heck yeah, we do!" Carlos exclaimed. "Come on, there's a pepperoni and sausage pizza across the street with my name written all over it!"

That was a colloquialism Logan hadn't heard before. He thought he caught the gist, though.

Kendall's gaze stayed on James before moving to Logan and then back again.

"Dude, come on! I'm starving!"

"When are you not?" Kendall asked with a roll of his eyes. He slung an arm over Carlos' shoulders to steer him around the risers. "Let's go feed you before you waste away to nothing," he teased.

"That's what I'm talking about!"

Logan chuckled and turned to James. "Shall we join them? You ready to go stuff yourself with pizza?"

James' eyes sparkled, appearing more green in the fluorescent lights. He slid his arm over Logan's shoulders to pull him closer as they walked. "Make it so."

A full laugh escaped Logan this time. He snuggled into the touch and let his arm drape across James' waist. He'd been wrong the night before. _This_ was the best day of his life.

They'd just caught up to Kendall and Carlos when a screech reached them. "Jamie!"

"Oh god," Kendall muttered under his breath.

James froze, Logan forced to stop with him. There she was, the harpy herself, waiting near the entrance with a dark-haired girl.

"Hey, Mandy," James uttered. It sounded strained. "You came."

"Of course I did, you were so good, I was just telling Denise that—" Mandy's face changed. "Ew! What the hell are _you _doing here?! Don't touch him, you fucking pervert!"

All the blood drained from Logan's face. Just when he'd thought he was in the clear and things were going to work out...

"What the...?" James murmured. Logan felt the curious looks from Carlos and Kendall.

"Jamie, what are you doing with him? I can't believe you'd even talk to him after the way he acted at the party! What a fucking creep!"

James' hold on him weakened, the same way his chances of succeeding were slowly slipping away. The arm dropped when James turned to focus on Logan. "Hold on. The party. The creep."

"James, wait, it was a misunderstanding. It's not like—"

Recognition fell into place on James' face, quickly followed by revulsion. "Oh my god. It's you. You're Mr. Peeper. Mr. Loves to Watch."

"James, no. Please, just—"

"And here I thought it was _her _you were watching. Jesus Christ, it was me. _Me!_ All this time, you've been using me, you were just being nice to try to get into my fucking pants?!"

Logan's jaw dropped. "What?! No! It's not like that, you don't understand!" Logan gripped James' sleeve.

"Yeah, I do. I remember it all now. God, and I let you...I invited you into my home! Jesus." James shook Logan's touch away. "Get the fuck away from me, you sick freak! I can't believe I let you...I was gonna...don't come near me again! Don't talk to me! Don't even look at me!"

This wasn't happening. It wasn't. It couldn't be. Not again, not after he'd come so far with James. He wasn't imagining it, there _had_ been something between them. "James, please, just let me explain. Let's go somewhere, let's just talk and—"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Mandy sneered. She dragged James away. "You think he wants to be alone with _you_? James, come on. Let's get out of here. Denise?"

The brunette looked from Mandy to Carlos, and Logan realized this was the girl Carlos had said was showing interest. Her eyes were doing that now, silently asking Carlos to join them.

James was already gone. He'd stormed out without a look back. Logan's heart shattered. "It's okay," he said to Carlos. "Go. I'll just go home."

It was Kendall who made the decision. "No, you're staying with us. Let's go."

Logan almost tripped over his own feet when Kendall gripped his arm and pulled. They sauntered past Mandy and the other girl (Denise, apparently). When Logan glanced back, Carlos was right behind him.

James was outside with his back to the entrance. Logan opened his mouth to try again. "James—"

"Stop," Kendall commanded. "Let it go. He won't listen right now."

Kendall was right; James gave no indication that he heard Logan. He stood rigid with his arms crossed over his chest. Logan watched until Mandy and her friend came out to lead him away toward a pink convertible. He prayed James would look back, just once to see in Logan's eyes that he hadn't meant to hurt James or betray him. His wish went unanswered.

Carlos was the first to speak as they approached the stoplight on the corner. "What the hell just happened? What is he talking about, Logan?"

Logan didn't even know how to respond. He wanted to be alone. He couldn't face Carlos or Kendall, who'd no doubt take James' side once they knew the whole story.

"Logan?"

Kendall nudged Carlos. "Not right now, Carlos. Let him get past the shock."

Was that what was happening to him? Was he in shock? Probably. He could barely even form a thought that wasn't "This can't be happening."

"Come on."

Kendall's gentle push got Logan moving. He stepped off the curb and into a crosswalk, then gasped when a pink bumper came close enough to kiss his knees before stopping.

"Watch it, freak! Next time I won't stop!"

Her shrill laughter made Logan's skin crawl. He ignored the girl in the back seat, the poor girl who had only been trying to get closer to Carlos and ended up in this current Hell. Instead Logan looked at James, who was staring back with so much anger Logan felt like he'd been gutted by it.

But beneath the anger was something worse: hurt. James was hurt and confused and it took the iron grip of Kendall's hand around Logan's bicep to keep him moving away from the car.

"I'm telling you, now is not the time," Kendall growled. "Let it go."

The car sped off behind them, taking James with it. There was nothing else Logan could do.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N—Welcome back! Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up, I was on vacation and wifi was bad and it was a crazy week. But I'm home now and ready to get back into my routine, so here's the next chapter for you! We left off with Mandy blowing Logan's chances with James by reminding him of the night he and Logan first met. Now Logan's got to figure out how to fix the mess. Hope you enjoy this, and thank you for reading!

* * *

Carlos tried three times to get Logan to explain the altercation. Each time, Kendall shushed him with, "Later, Carlos."

It wasn't until they'd commandeered a booth at the pizza place and had sodas in front of them that Kendall said, "Okay, spill it. What happened at the party?"

Logan just wanted to escape. He didn't owe these two anything, and the sight of them shoulder to shoulder across from him only made Logan feel more alone. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, you're gonna have to, because we have a problem. James is our friend and you're Carlos' brother. Carlos is stuck in the middle right now and he's done nothing wrong. So we need to know who's the actual problem here."

Carlos frowned. "You think it might be James?"

Kendall raised a brow. "You think it's _Logan_? Would he do anything to hurt anybody?"

Carlos shrugged and sipped at his root beer. "I don't know. You're the one who said we don't know him and it could all be a 'nice guy' act."

Kendall's cheeks flamed. He cleared his throat, not meeting Logan's gaze. "Yeah well...that was yesterday."

"And what's changed since yesterday?" Logan couldn't help being curious.

"Things," Kendall answered vaguely. "And we know James isn't himself lately. He's always a dick when Mandy's around. So what happened at the party?"

Logan groaned and laid his head on the table. He didn't want to think about the party.

"Logan?" Carlos pressed. "Why was he calling you a pervert? He said you want to get into his pants?"

When Logan refused to answer, Kendall stepped in. "Well, let me tell you James' side of the story, and then you can share yours. Because I already know what he said wasn't the truth."

Logan lifted his head. "What did he say?"

"Yeah, and when?" Carlos wanted to know. "How come I didn't hear about any of this?"

"Because it was my job to babysit James that night. Trust me, I heard all about it while we were waiting for the car to pick us up. James was furious."

Logan sighed.

"He was also very drunk. So tell me how much of his version is actually true," Kendall continued. "He said he was talking to Mandy out back. He noticed this guy watching them. True so far?"

"Sort of," Logan answered. "I guess I was. But I didn't mean to. And it wasn't the way she says."

"Why were you watching them?" Carlos asked.

Logan swallowed and looked away. There was no way he could explain that without coming off like the creepy guy Mandy believed him to be.

"That's not important," Kendall stated. "So James confronted you, Mandy freaked out, and they left."

"That is accurate," Logan nodded.

"But then you followed them."

"Only to talk! I just wanted to explain myself, to try to make him understand that it wasn't like that!"

"So you spied on them making out."

"I wasn't spying," Logan argued. "I didn't know that was why they went to the side of the house."

Now Kendall gave him a disbelieving look. "Why else do people go to the side of the house at parties?"

Carlos came to his defense. "Hold on, Logan doesn't know that. He's never been to a party. That was his first time."

"Really?"

Logan didn't bother nodding.

Kendall clarified, "So you really didn't know that's what they were doing?"

"Of course not! I wouldn't do that, I would've known that wasn't the time to approach him. And even if I hadn't, Carlos warned me. When a guy is alone with a girl, don't interrupt."

"I did warn him," Carlos agreed. "I made sure he knew that because Denise was supposed to be there and I thought...I mean I hoped...well, never mind."

"But James said—" Kendall stopped his interrogation when the pizza arrived. "Hold that thought." They'd each taken a slice and bit into it before he spoke again. "Man, that's good. Okay, so James said that you were staring at them. That when Mandy saw you, you were actively staring. Not like 'Oh sorry, my mistake' but like 'Oh wow, this is hot.'"

He had been. Logan couldn't deny that, he _had_ been staring at James like that.

Carlos gazed at him in pity. "Dude, don't be ashamed. I get it."

"You do?" Kendall asked in surprise.

"Yeah. It's like when...well, don't laugh at me, but it's like when I sneak porn. It's curiosity. And Logan never had porn to satisfy his. His parents probably didn't even let him watch movies that aren't PG. So Logan's never actually seen two people make out. I bet it was kind of fascinating, right? Like you couldn't look away?"

"Something like that," Logan hedged. It was a better answer than, "I was imagining what it might feel like to be her in that moment." "So I guess James wasn't lying, and I'm sure to him and Mandy it seemed like I _was _a pervert. But he never gave me the chance to explain. He just got really mad and tried to punch me."

"Because you mocked him."

"I didn't!"

"He said you made fun of his intelligence. Called him stupid."

"No, I would never say that! James is the smartest person I've ever met! If it wasn't for him, we'd all—"

_Stop. Stop, Logan, think before you speak._ He'd gotten too carried away and almost ruined it.

Now Carlos offered a distrustful expression. "Seriously? You're way smarter than him. You know that, right?"

There was no good answer to that. Logan would have to play dumb. "Look, I'm just saying that I meant what I said to him. I wasn't being mean. I'd never do that to him."

Kendall nodded while swallowing down dark soda. "I believe that. I wouldn't have yesterday, but I do now."

"Why?" Carlos wondered. "And why did you even go talk to him, Logan? At the party. You were with us, we were going to get pizza, and then you just disappeared. Why did you go out there?"

_Because I saw him. Because I saw the man I've devoted my entire life to._ "I just...felt like it."

Carlos was probably the only person on the planet who would be satisfied with an answer like that. "Okay." He set down the crust from his second slice and hopped up out of the booth. "I gotta take a leak. Don't start any games without me!"

"Relax, Carlos," Kendall chuckled. "We're only on our first slice." After Carlos rushed toward the bathroom, Kendall turned that threatening gaze on Logan again. "So you see why this is a problem for Carlos."

"Yeah."

"We've had foster brothers cause problems between all of us before, but nothing like this. Here I was so worried that you'd hurt Carlos, and all along it was James I needed to worry about."

"I didn't mean to hurt him."

"I know. I believe that. James is...well, let's just say you're not the only one who's tried to get close to him." Kendall took another bite of pizza. "You might be the first dude, though."

Logan remembered Carlos stating that Kendall wouldn't understand one guy attracted to another. Was he right? Was Kendall judging him now?

"I get it," Kendall continued. "He's popular, he's pretty, he seems like the coolest guy in the world. From what Carlos has told me, you were sheltered before your parents...before you moved here. So I'm sure that James seems larger than life to you."

He did, but not for the reasons Kendall thought. Logan shrugged.

"Do you know that he talked about you the whole way home yesterday?"

Logan's shocked gaze traveled from the table to Kendall's face. "What?"

"Yep," Kendall nodded. "I heard all about the soup, and the massage that made his headache go away, and how you wouldn't shut up when he told you to. But he liked that someone cared."

"I do," Logan said sincerely. "I'm not just...what he thinks. Out to get into his pants."

"Today when we were changing after the game, he told me he'd invited you to have dinner and stay the night. He was excited about it. So that tells me he trusted you, because if he didn't he wouldn't want you in his house. Mandy doesn't even get to go into his house."

_Really?_ Logan's sudden flush of happiness died when he realized he'd lost that. "Well, obviously that's gone now. The trust."

"Yeah. And with James, once you break his trust, it's really hard to get it back. Impossible for most people."

This was hopeless. "So you're telling me I have no chance? That he's just never gonna speak to me again?"

"I don't know, Logan. In the first five minutes of meeting him, you pissed him off so badly that he almost decked you."

"Don't remind me," Logan whined, letting his head fall to the table again.

"But then you also got past his wall on the first day you truly met him. That says a lot, because James doesn't let anybody in. You're good for him, you got him talking. I wish it was me or Carlos he'd open up to, but as long as he has someone who cares about him to talk to, that's all that matters. So don't give up. If you really do care, don't let him shut you out. But I'd definitely give him tonight to cool off."

"Well, he's with Mandy anyway. It's not like I have a chance to see him now. Brooke is not going to be happy about this."

"Where the hell is..." Kendall's eyes did a scan of the pizza parlor, then narrowed. "That fucker! He's over there trying to get the high score! Oh, he is so dead. Guard my pizza!"

Logan took a deep breath once Kendall stormed off. It was actually nice to have ten seconds alone to think. With Kendall coming to the Garcia home with them, he probably wouldn't get that again anytime soon.

_Actually, that might be better because he can distract Carlos. I need time to think and plan, to figure out how to fix this. If he never wants to see me again, how can I keep a close eye on him?_

He'd need to apologize and explain to Brooke why he wasn't coming for dinner. What to say? _Sorry, your son hates me because I want to bone him._ That wouldn't work. James would probably tell her the truth, though, so she'd end up hating him, too.

_It's not fair. Less than a week into this, I've made enemies of James and his mother. It's not supposed to happen this way!_

A glance at his phone showed that Brooke had texted earlier to let him know she'd arrived home safely. That was one less worry, at least. He braced himself and sent a call through.

"Is this your doing?" was how Brooke greeted him.

"I'm sorry?"

"There are people in my home. My friends apparently think I need babysitting and somehow I suspect you're to blame for that."

"It wasn't my idea!" Logan promised. "Jennifer was the one who decided you could use company."

"Of course she was," Brooke sighed. "Lord save me from people with good intentions."

Logan smiled. "Are you having fun, though?"

It was clear that Brooke hadn't considered that. "I suppose," she finally answered. "Jennifer brought in food from the cafe and we're watching some sappy love story that the girls are crying over. It's fun to laugh at them."

"Good," Logan chuckled, then he remembered the reason for his call and the smile faded. "Listen, I'm not going to be there tonight. I'm sorry."

"Yes, you are. I've already pre-ordered dinner; it will be here at 7:00 P.M. sharp and so will you."

"I'm sorry," Logan said again. "I want to be, but—"

"Oh, no. What did he do?"

"What?"

"James. What did he do? How did he screw this up?"

_It was me, I screwed this up._ "Why would you assume it's him?"

"Because he's moody and oversensitive and probably got offended by something you said that he took wrong. He'll get over it."

"I don't think he will, Brooke. Not this."

"So he's not with you? Where are you? Where is he?"

"I'm with Kendall and Carlos. He took off with Mandy."

"Oh, Logan, you let him leave with _her_? I thought we had an understanding. You're supposed to keep him away from her!"

"Hey, I tried! He just...I messed up, okay?"

"Dammit, that means he'll probably bring her home for dinner instead. Or he just won't come home at all. How could you let this happen?!"

"I tried to talk to him, he wouldn't listen! I just need time to figure out how to fix this."

"Fine, take some time, but don't you dare let him push you away. I saw it today, he was happier than he's been in months and I know that's your doing. I want that back. Get that back, Logan."

"Okay! I'll work on it! I'm sorry about tonight. I really wanted to be there, more than you know."

"We'll just do it another night. I'll be in touch."

Logan didn't see how he was ever going to get James in a place where he'd welcome Logan into his home again. "Sure," he said anyway. "Don't be afraid to tell them if you're tired. They'll understand."

"I can at least finish this movie. Jennifer brought over my favorite grilled chicken salad, and I'm going to enjoy it."

"I had that! It's so good!"

"It's the best thing on that menu. I'm going to go now, but I'll see you later in the week for dinner. No excuses."

"I hope."

"Goodbye then. And Logan?"

Her voice changed on the last word, intriguing him; it almost sounded desperate. "Yes?"

"Thank you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gone to the game today. I wouldn't have seen my son play. I've missed that."

Logan wished he was close enough to hug the woman. "I'm glad you were there, too. That's why he played so well. He really wanted you there."

"It would be nice if he'd tell me that himself."

"One step at a time, Brooke. I'm working on it. Now I just have to get past his wall again. I feel like I'm starting over, but further back from where I started the first time."

"You'll figure it out, Logan. He may not want to, but he likes you. Don't let him ruin a good thing."

_No, because apparently that's my job._ "I'll try. Have a good night."

"You, too. Keep in touch."

Logan let out a long sigh after disconnecting the call. At least Brooke didn't hate him, but that might change when James explained the reason for his fury. How was he going to turn this around?

A howl of victory reached Logan from the gaming area. Carlos was doing some sort of dance to celebrate winning...something. Kendall was rolling his eyes. He smacked Carlos' arm and yelled, "Shut up already!" Instead, Carlos stuck out his tongue.

Logan envied them their youth and lack of painful experiences. If Brooke hadn't gotten sick, would James be here with them right now cutting up and laughing? Had he been like them before all of the sadness?

Probably. Or maybe he would be starring in some play, or out auditioning for an acting role. Katie made it sound as if that was how James spent his time before the illness changed everything.

It seemed contradictory to what Logan had imagined about him, and yet maybe not. Maybe it really would be his mother's death to change his aspirations and focus. The worst of the illness was yet to come, Logan knew that. Did James, though?

_No. He doesn't want to face it. He doesn't even want to talk about it. He has no idea what he's in for with the cancer. He'll need someone to help him through that. I need to be that person, because I can guide him toward his destiny._

Which would be fine except that James wasn't speaking to him, James hated him, James wanted him nowhere in sight. And that was a hurdle Logan didn't know how to get over.

How to win back someone who didn't even want to acknowledge your existence?

* * *

It ended up being hours before Logan was allowed time to himself. Most likely because he knew Logan was devastated over James' rejection of him (even as a friend), Carlos insisted that Logan join them downstairs for a battle on the gaming system. Learning the controls and planning out a strategy sufficiently distracted Logan enough that he stopped thinking about James for awhile and even had fun.

Sylvia prepared spaghetti for dinner, which after the pizza should've seemed like too much Italian food in one day but Logan found it so delicious he had three helpings. He'd grown up eating spaghetti and enjoyed it well enough; with the addition of homemade meatballs, it became more than just "good" and flew straight into "definitely in my top five of the best foods I've ever eaten." Sylvia smiled when he said that, pleased that Logan appreciated her cooking so much.

Because his stomach was so full after the pasta, he skipped dessert and used the time to shower instead—anything for time alone. Once under the hot spray he let the sadness and hopelessness return. What was James doing right now? Was he thinking about Logan? Missing him even a tiny bit?

_No. He hates you. He thinks you're after his body. _

The fact that Logan was so attracted to James only made him feel worse. James was right, he was a monster.

But he'd been willing to complete the mission without acting on that or even acknowledging it. Yes, he was attracted to James. No, it didn't have anything to do with making sure James came up with the assignment and was never meant to be a thing.

Instead, it had become_ the _thing. In all of his fears about how this mission might go wrong, he'd never considered this one. Was James homophobic?

_No, he can't be. He gave to charities that promoted same-sex marriage (or will, you have to stop thinking of it as the past; it's now the future and it's going to stay that way). Maybe he's one of those people who thinks it's fine to be gay, just as long as he doesn't have to be around it._

That hurt, though. Was Carlos right to fear telling James and Kendall that he wasn't sure about his sexuality? Carlos knew them best, and that hurt as well. He hated to admit that someone (besides Brooke, of course) might know James better than he did.

_It's like you thought, Logan. You know James the researcher; you don't know James the high school student. Right now you have to trust Carlos and Kendall when they give you advice about James, because they've known him forever. If Kendall says he needs time, give him time._

Time wasn't something Logan could play with, though. Three months sounded like plenty, but in reality it would fly by and how was he supposed to find the genius buried inside James in less than ninety days when James wouldn't even talk to him?

Logan finally gave into the tears that had been wanting to break free from the moment James had yelled "Don't even look at me!" They mingled with the warm water streaming down his face until his eyes burned. The worst part of this wasn't even that the world was going to end because he'd failed.

Okay, that was a lie. It _was_ theworst part.

But the selfish side of him was more upset that he'd die with James hating him. It had been easier in the future, when there was no chance for James to detest him because James never even knew of his existence. The centuries separating them had been a good thing in that sense. He'd always believed that if given the chance to know him, James would like him and respect him. That he'd actually _want_ Logan in his life, even in a small capacity.

_Well, reality never matches up to fantasy, does it? You screwed up, Logan. Less than a week into this, you pushed him so far away that he doesn't even want to see your face again. Great job._

"_Fine, take some time, but don't you dare let him push you away." _

"_If you really do care, don't let him shut you out."_

The voices of Brooke and Kendall sailed through his head. Here were two of the people who knew James Diamond, High School Student, best and who cared about him. Both had decided Logan was good for James and advised him to stay the course. That was a feat to be proud of, right? Two days in and James' closest friends and family not only trusted him, but encouraged him to develop the friendship he'd managed to initiate with James.

_Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's not over. They believe you can mend this. It may take you the entire three months to do that, but you have to keep trying. All that matters is James turning in that assignment. Not your feelings, not your wounded pride, not your dashed hopes of James ever kissing you. That was never supposed to happen anyway, so let it go. He's being stubborn and ridiculous and it's your job to make him see that._

By the time Logan shut off the water, hope had begun to grow again. Roger would tell him to man up if he were here. He'd also remind Logan to not interfere, but it was too late for that. Logan had to, because the reality of James Diamond was very different from what the textbooks and documentaries had led everyone to believe.

James needed help and there was no one more devoted to him than Logan. He'd get James there if it killed him. Then again, not getting James there would kill him, too.

What did he have to lose?

* * *

When Logan stepped out from the bathroom, he discovered that peace had fallen over the Garcia household. Sylvia was quietly humming as she cleaned up the kitchen. Papi was dozing off in front of the television in the living room. Even the bedroom he shared with Carlos was silent, and Logan let out a breath of relief.

Kendall and Carlos were fun, but he wasn't in the mood for their raucousness right now. He had plans to make.

He stopped in the kitchen to say goodnight to Sylvia and thank her for the amazing dinner. She hugged him and reiterated how happy they were to have him as part of the family. Her sincerity helped his mood even more; it was always nice to know you were welcome.

He opened the bedroom door and was relieved to find the room as empty as he'd hoped; most likely the boys were downstairs shooting something on a screen. He imagined they'd probably sleep down there as there weren't two beds available upstairs, and that was fine with Logan.

The only downside to it was that he'd been hoping to find a place in the basement to stash the belongings he'd brought along from the future. That couldn't be done with Carlos and Kendall around.

Maybe there was a place he hadn't discovered in the room. What would Carlos be least likely to look at or touch?

It took him three minutes to figure out. He padded back to the kitchen and asked Sylvia if she might have an empty box he could store things in. After a quick trip to the garage with her, Logan was armed with a small cardboard box and a fat black marker.

He dumped the photo cubes and most of the cash he'd brought along into the box, as well as a few other objects of sentimental value. It might be a good idea to open a bank account for the cash, but for the moment this would do. He folded the box flaps closed and then wrote on the outside of the cardboard: _ Math Notes & Theories._

The box would be stored on Logan's side of the closet, way up on the top shelf. It was risky to have his possessions from the future out in the open, but he thought in this case it would work. Carlos would never think to be suspicious of something so boring and in plain sight.

What of Sylvia, though? Or Papi? Would either of them disturb the box or check it for illegal objects? He thought Sylvia would respect his wishes if he shared that the contents were confidential, and he doubted Papi came into the room much. It should work. Even if the cubes were discovered, only his voice would activate them. As for the cash, he could say that his parents had left it to him.

_It's fine, Logan. Stop overthinking everything. You solved one problem, now work on the next._

That would be one James Diamond. Logan slid under the covers of his bed and got comfortable so that he could focus on coming up with a solution to the greatest obstacle of all.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N—Happy Monday! Hope everyone had a great weekend. As for Logan in this story, he's not having a good weekend at all haha. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Logan hadn't made much headway when the door slammed open twenty minutes later. He jumped in surprise before looking over to see Carlos and Kendall slink into the room with matching expressions of gloom.

"We need you," Kendall said abruptly.

"Guys, I'm not even good at the game yet. My aim sucks."

"Not that," Carlos replied with a wave of his hand. He climbed over his mattress to settle on the edge closest to Logan's bed. "We need your brain."

Kendall rounded Carlos' bed to sit next to him. "James is wasted again."

Logan sat up fast, his feet hitting the floor. "What? How do you know? Did he call?"

"He didn't have to," Kendall sighed. "He posts constantly when he's drunk."

"Posts?" Logan frowned. "What does that mean?"

Carlos rolled his eyes. "I keep forgetting that you don't know anything about the real world. You don't have an Instagram account, right?"

Logan blinked repeatedly, not wanting to accept what Carlos' question was hinting at. "No. But James doesn't either, so I don't—"

"What?" Kendall laughed. "Are you _kidding_ me? Do you really think someone like James, who wants to be famous more than anything else, doesn't have an Instagram account?"

He didn't, Logan _knew_ he didn't. There would've been remnants of it somewhere online. Even two hundred years in the future they'd had access to Instagram, because like Google it continued to change with the times and survived. The most famous accounts had been preserved, and surely James would fall into that category?

"Did he tell you he didn't?" Carlos suddenly wondered. "Because he tells people that sometimes, if he doesn't want them to follow him. So if he did, sorry. He lied."

"I..." Logan was at a loss.

Kendall stepped in. "Look, let's worry about that later. Right now we need you to figure out how to get Carlos out of the house because it's his turn to babysit."

Logan wasn't ready to move on yet. "Hold on. You're telling me he has an account? He's active on social media?"

"Duh," Carlos answered. "He also has a Twitter, and a Facebook, and a whole bunch of other things I don't remember. He says a heavy social media presence is imperative when you're trying to be famous. He used those exact words."

Logan's heart was beating so hard it actually hurt. Fear squeezed his chest. "Show me."

Kendall groaned, "Logan, we don't have time for this. We need to get to James and make sure he gets home okay."

"Show me," Logan repeated more vehemently. "Show me that account. Now."

Carlos pulled his phone out and called up the appropriate app, then angled the device toward Logan and pressed something on the screen. A video started to play. Logan heard James laughing hysterically while that screechy voice he'd come to loathe screamed, "Jamie just fell on his ass, oh my god! Denise keeps trying to help him up but he's just laying here on the sidewalk like a dumbass." It was obvious that Mandy found the situation highly amusing. Logan could see that James was indeed sprawled out on cement, the streetlights from above throwing shadows over his white t-shirt as he rolled around.

"Where's his damn jacket?" Kendall muttered. "It's gotta be like thirty outside."

Logan had a more pressing worry. There was some sort of tag in the corner of the video. "What is 'Matterhorn Mall'?"

"That's the mall," Carlos said slowly, as if Logan was an idiot. "You do know what a mall is, right?"

"A location? It's a location pinpointing exactly where he is right at this very second?"

"Well, he posted that fifteen minutes ago," Kendall explained. "So that's where he was then. Now, who knows? We're gonna call him and find out, and then send Carlos over there."

_Don't hyperventilate, don't hyperventilate._

Logan was, though. James was making it too easy, basically holding up a flashing neon sign that said, "Hi, I'm here at this place at this time, come kill me!" How had they missed that in the future? How had no one ever found evidence that this account even existed?

"So...anyone watching this can see where he is?"

"Logan, get over it," Kendall said in exasperation. "We'll discuss your paranoia about technology later, right now we need you to come up with a way for Carlos to sneak out without his parents knowing."

_Okay. Okay, Kendall is right, worry about that later. Obviously this stuff doesn't exist in the future. Maybe James will get smart and delete it at some point. And if he doesn't, I will._ "Why Carlos?" he asked, thinking Kendall might be better at strong-arming James into going home.

"Because if I go, I'm gonna punch Mandy. I don't punch girls as a rule, but she really asks for it sometimes."

Logan thought he could understand that.

"Also," Kendall continued, "Carlos has an in with Denise. They won't mind him there because it'll be like a double date. He'll be welcome."

"And you wouldn't?" Logan wondered, curious as to why.

"No. Mandy doesn't like me around. Probably because she knows I don't put up with her shit and that James listens to me."

Logan was liking Kendall more by the second. He took a deep breath to calm himself, for the moment putting aside the fact that he'd have to figure out a way to destroy James' social media presence. "Okay, let me think. We need to get Carlos out of the house so he can go make sure James is safe?"

"Exactly!" Carlos replied.

The answer came to Logan quickly. "I'll be right back." He ignored the shocked looks and protests from Carlos and Kendall as he headed for the door. "Trust me," was all he said.

Three minutes later he returned and closed the door. "You're set. Your mom's gonna drive you, you just need to find out where he is now."

Two mouths dropped open while Logan was scooting back under the covers. "What?!" Carlos yelled. "What did you tell her?"

"The truth. She's as worried about James as we are. I explained the situation and she agreed that it's best Carlos goes. But she also said you're not allowed to drink."

Carlos spluttered, "Logan, you told her he's drunk?! Now she's gonna tell his mom! He'll be in so much trouble!"

"She won't. She promised to keep it quiet as long as we handle the problem. She's going to drop you off and wait, and you have to make sure to get him in that van within twenty minutes so she can drive him home. That's her condition."

Kendall shook his head. "No, someone needs to stay with him. He'll pick a fight with his mom and take off again. He always does when he's wasted. Carlos, you need to get him upstairs without his mom knowing. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, but...really? My mom's okay with all this?"

"Well, she's not happy about it," Logan admitted. "But she'd rather he was home safe."

"Wouldn't we all," Kendall sighed. "God, I'm tired of this. I love James like a brother, but I'm so tired of this. He's going to yell at Carlos and be a complete dick, and that's not fair."

"I'd go if I could," Logan said. "If he wasn't already so mad at me, I could get him home. Or we could bring him back here. But he won't want to see me, so..."

"Yeah," Kendall agreed. "This sucks. Carlos? Keep us posted. Let us know if he's not cooperating and I'll call him."

"You know that only pisses him off more," Carlos reminded him. "When he's mad, _you_ get mad and you two just end up fighting."

"Which is why it's better that you're going. Call him now and tell him you want to hang out with Denise. Take stuff with you for the night."

While Carlos was busy doing that, Logan got Kendall's attention. "Will you keep me posted, too? Let me know that he's home?"

"You'll be right here."

"Oh. I just assumed you'd go home since Carlos is leaving."

"Nah, Katie's got a bunch of her little munchkin friends over for the night and they all have crushes on me. I don't need to be there for that." He paused before adding, "Unless you want me to leave?"

"No. I'd rather have you here so I know what's going on with James."

"Okay, cool. You mind if I sleep in Carlos' bed?"

"Of course not. I feel like this is more your room than mine."

"No," Kendall smiled. "You're family around here. Get used to it."

Even through his concern for James, Logan felt warmth and comfort at Kendall's words. It was the acceptance he hadn't known he needed.

"Okay, they're at the burger place across the street from the mall," Carlos said after hanging up.

"Good, James needs to eat something. Make sure he does that before you leave," Logan instructed. "Or at least take something to go. Make him eat, even if he yells at you. And get him to drink water."

"Right."

"And take some pain relievers with you, because when the alcohol wears off he'll need them. But don't give him anything until he's sober again."

They helped Carlos pack a few things for the night, then Kendall hugged him. "Call if you need backup."

"I got this. You'll still be here in the morning, right?"

"Like I'd miss Sunday breakfast with the Garcias?" Kendall smirked.

Carlos grinned. "Yeah, I just wish James felt that way. I'll be home for breakfast. Logan? I still don't know how you convinced Mom, but thanks."

"No problem. Just keep him safe." It killed Logan that he couldn't perform that job himself. "And...I know he's mad at me, but tell him I said that if he needs to talk, I'm here. Give him my number. Or sneak it into his phone, I don't care. Just let him know that he has it and I'm here."

"You got it. Wish me luck!"

They did, and soon enough they heard the van pulling out of the garage. Logan collapsed to his bed again, face in his hands.

"He'll be okay," Kendall assured him.

"Not if we don't stop this behavior. He can't keep doing this. I know he's upset about his mom, but—"

"I think tonight it has more to do with you," Kendall said quietly. "He really liked you a lot, Logan. This is hitting him hard."

Logan had no reply to that. He didn't want to face that he'd actually made the situation worse.

"I'm gonna go ahead and shower now," Kendall shared. He set down his phone on the nightstand. "Answer that if Carlos calls. Or even better, if James does."

"I don't think that would go over well."

"It will if you say the right thing. Figure out what that is, Logan."

Logan had spent twenty minutes trying to do that earlier and had gotten nowhere. Facing a James who wasn't in his right mind was only going to make things worse.

_Don't call, James. I'm not ready yet._

* * *

The first thing Logan did when he was alone was to text Brooke. He'd debated whether or not that was a good idea, as she might do what Kendall feared and start an argument with James. He knew she was probably sitting at home worried about James, though, and he couldn't stand the idea of that.

"_James will be home soon. We sent Carlos to get him. Just please don't fight with him tonight, he's upset enough. Let him sleep on it."_

A response came back after a minute. _"I'm offended that you're telling me how to raise my son. However, you are correct and I don't wish to make things worse. I'll go to my room and pretend to be sleeping. Thank you for letting me know."_

How many times had Brooke done that already when James snuck in? _ "You're welcome. Goodnight."_

"_I will expect you for dinner Tuesday evening. Seven o'clock, don't be late. Goodnight."_

Yeah, that probably wasn't going to happen. Logan decided not to reply to that one.

Instead he picked up Kendall's phone and found the Instagram app. Surely Kendall followed James' account, so it shouldn't be too difficult to find.

It wasn't. Logan was horrified as he scrolled through the posts, most of them giving details of his whereabouts. It would be too easy for the enemy to find him, because even if they didn't know where to send an assassin in the future, it wouldn't take long to find him once here. All that would be necessary was to follow his every move on this platform.

_James, what are you thinking? You're giving them a treasure map every time you post!_

Of course James had no idea his life was in danger. He wouldn't think twice about it.

The part of Logan that idolized James couldn't help but study the photos and videos his hero had uploaded. There was James posing at school dances, always with a pretty girl on his arm. Logan cared more about the way his tuxes and sweaters fit him, how luscious that long dark hair was and how bright his hazel eyes. There were headshots he'd paid someone to take, photos of the hockey team, videos from action on the ice, pictures of birthday parties he'd gone to, and moments where he'd clowned around with Kendall and Carlos. The happier posts seemed to all be from the previous year and earlier. Sometime in January, the smile stopped being genuine and his gaze began to appear haunted.

_That's when you found out about the cancer. That's when you changed._

It had never occurred to Logan that he'd have to worry about James endangering himself via social media. Now he had one more problem to solve, because the sooner he got rid of every post on every platform, the better. He might have to steal James' phone at some point.

"_Yo Im here. I c them inside. J has food. Later."_

The message from Carlos popped up at the top of Kendall's screen. Logan deciphered it with a shake of his head. Carlos definitely needed help with grammar.

Logan scrolled through the posts again, noting that not one featured Brooke. James had said she was too busy to be part of his life before the illness, and his account proved that. James was seen posing with the Garcias, with the Knights, and had even uploaded a picture with Katie on her birthday for the past two years. Nothing with Brooke, though.

_That's okay. That's all going to change now._

By the time Kendall re-entered the bedroom, Logan had shut off the light and put Kendall's phone down. It was depressing him. He sensed Kendall trying to be quiet and murmured, "I'm awake."

"Geez, Logan!" Kendall gasped. "Don't do that! I thought you were asleep."

"Which is why I said I'm not," Logan chuckled. "Carlos texted. He's there. James is eating."

"Good." Kendall dropped his dirty clothing into an open bag on the floor. "Nothing else?"

"Not yet. Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure."

Logan waited for the sound of bouncing bed springs to taper off before speaking again. "That video from tonight. It looked like Mandy was the one filming. Am I right?"

"Yeah, she always does that. She likes to post on his account, it makes her feel important or some shit, I don't know. I think it's like a possessive thing. You should see hers, every post is about him or has him in it. She loves to brag about him."

Logan rolled his eyes at the immaturity of it all. "How does she do it, though? Can she access his account from her phone?"

"Not unless he signed in on her phone. I think she just takes his and uses that to film stuff. Then posts it before she gives it back."

"He just lets her take his phone?"

"Well, he's usually blitzed when she does it."

_Blitzed. _ An archaic word for drunk, Logan recalled. "I didn't see a lot of that, though. I thought you said he posts a lot in this state."

"Oh, he deletes it all the next day. He'll delete this, too. If you look at his account, you'll see he only keeps the stuff he wants people to see. Stuff that helps his image. God knows she doesn't do that. I really hate her."

"I see why."

"She's just...annoying, you know? So immature."

"I was just thinking the same thing. Does Carlos like her?"

Kendall sighed as he thought over how to respond. "Carlos pretty much likes everybody. He'll find something good about everyone. That's why it was best for him to go tonight. But he's ready for James to move on to someone else, too. We're dreading his birthday party next weekend because I'm sure she'll be there."

Logan's heart stopped. Surely he'd heard wrong. "What? Whose birthday?"

"James."

It was like finally discovering the secrets of the universe after a lifetime. _Nobody_ had been able to figure that out. "You...you know when his birthday is?"

"Obviously. He's been my best friend for over ten years, I'd be a bad person if I didn't."

Logan swallowed hard. His hands were actually shaking beneath the blankets. "When uh...when is it?"

"It's Sunday. A week from tomorrow. But since that's a school night, he's having the party the night before. After our game. We were hoping you'd be invited because Carlos would feel guilty going without you. So make sure you fix your fight before then."

Sunday. April 1st. How fitting, since the whole mission felt like a joke right about now. Wait, did they even celebrate April Fool's Day in this time period? "His birthday is April first?"

"Yep. He hates being called an April Fool, though, so don't even joke about it."

That answered _that _question. "And he um...he's turning...eighteen?"

"Yeah. His plan was to move out when he turned eighteen, start his own life. But now that his mom's sick...I don't know if that's still the plan."

"Where was he going to live?"

"With us or here. He said he hated being at home because no one's ever there and he's always at our places anyway. So he was gonna see if my mom or Sylvia would let him move in."

And now that Logan was here, there was no room for James. Had he already changed James' future just by being here? Was every single breath Logan took making changes that would alter the timeline so much that the world was doomed?

_Stop it. You're going to make yourself crazy obsessing over that. If you ruined it, you'll know in two years. There's nothing else you can do but guide James and hope for the best._

"Can I ask _you_ something now?"

Logan let Kendall's voice interrupt his thoughts. "Sure. But I'm very private about my past, so..."

"No, it's not about that. I mean, not directly. What Carlos was saying about why you were staring at James, it does make sense. I guess I get it."

"Okay?"

"But...I'm trying to figure out a way to say this that won't come off offensive."

"Well, that's an improvement."

"What is?"

"You actually caring about my feelings. You seemed determined to hate me the night we met."

"Hey, I was just being a good friend. Nobody hurts Carlos and gets away with it."

Logan smirked in the dark. He'd say the same thing about James. "And I will say again that my intentions were never to hurt anyone. So what's your question?"

"I don't know if this is gonna make any sense, but...James has like a...like a radar."

"A radar?"

"Yeah. He knows when people are into him. It actually bothers him when people aren't. I mean...not everyone. Just people he considers important."

"I'm sorry, I'm not following this."

"I know, it's weird. But you've known him long enough to know that when girls meet him, they like what they see? Because he's got that whatever it is they're attracted to?"

_Do I ever know that. And I know what that thing is too, because I'm not immune to it. _ "He's um...yeah. I get what you mean."

"So if a girl isn't attracted to him, he notices it and it bothers him."

"Okay. I'm still not sure what—"

"My point is, James senses when someone's into him. Like _that. _ And no matter what Carlos says, if James got that vibe from you...I guess I'm just wondering if he's right. If you do have..._those_ kinds of feelings for James."

Was Logan sweating? He thought he could feel a sheen of perspiration across his forehead. Kendall was putting him on the spot, and there was no way out of this without lying. Maybe he could evade the question. "I barely know him, Kendall. We just met two days ago."

"Right, but you've gotten closer to him in those two days than most people do in a year. And you do seem to sincerely care about him. You said you did."

"I do." There was no point in denying that.

"So...is he right? Are you into him that way?"

_Damn._ How was Logan supposed to answer that? "Are you asking because you're looking out for him? You think I'm out to hurt him?"

"No."

Logan waited for something more; it didn't come. "Why are you asking then?"

Now Kendall sounded annoyed. "I just want to know, okay? Does there have to be a reason?"

Logan's brows drew together. Kendall was getting defensive, and that didn't make any sense at all. Shouldn't Logan be the one running defense right about now? If Kendall wasn't asking as a concerned friend, then what other reason could he have for... "Kendall? Are _you _into James like that?"

"What?! No. No! I told you, he's like a brother to me."

"Okay. I'm just trying to understand why it would bother you if I was. As long as you know I'm not out to hurt him, I mean."

"I never said it would bother me, Logan. I'm just curious."

"So...you're not homophobic? You don't have a problem with same sex...anything?"

"No, I'm not an asshole. Don't judge me because I'm a jock."

"I'm not! I'm...actually relieved to hear you say that."

"So then you _do_ like James that way?"

"Kendall, I already told you that I've only known James for two days. There's no way I can—"

"Jesus Christ, Logan, just answer the question! Do you have feelings for him or not?"

Logan tried not to let a panic attack take hold. Kendall wasn't going to back off until he had his answer. "I...if I said yes, would you tell everyone?"

"What? No. I can keep a secret. Is that a yes?"

_I hate you for this. I hate you for making me admit this._ "Kendall...I don't feel comfortable discussing my feelings with you. I'm sorry."

"Dammit, Logan. Please just say yes. Please."

The level of pleading was unexpected. Why did Kendall care so much? "Fine," Logan sighed. "Yes. But James already hates me, and I swear I didn't mean to come off like a creep that night. He was just so beautiful and I couldn't stop staring and—"

"I get it. Totally. Some people aren't good at hiding their feelings. And with James' radar, there was really no hope for you. You can't hide it from him."

The hopelessness was returning. "So you're saying he'll never forgive me? He'll never accept me as a friend because I'm attracted to him?"

"I don't know. I'm sure you're not the first dude to be attracted to him. He really is pretty amazing to look at."

"Yeah," Logan said wistfully. "I miss him already." Kendall's words sank in and he finally put two and two together. "Did you want me to say yes because you—"

"Logan, I said no. I'm not into James."

"I'm aware of that. Are you perhaps into someone else of the male persuasion? Afraid to tell your friends because they might judge you?"

"_Male persuasion_? Who talks like that?"

_A college professor, that's who. _ "You're avoiding the question. Are you worried that James and Carlos won't accept you if you're gay? Because I think—" No, he couldn't say that. He'd sworn to keep Carlos' secret.

"You think what?"

"I think you're wrong. I can see why you'd be afraid for James to find out, considering how he reacted with me today. But Carlos...he idolizes you. That's not going to change just because you're attracted to men."

"You can't know that."

_Oh, but I do. _ "Trust me, Kendall. You won't lose him. Tell Carlos. Unless...wait, is it Carlos you're into or someone else?"

"None of your business."

"Fine. Don't tell me. But tell Carlos. It might even bring you closer."

"I don't see how."

"That's because you don't have all the facts. And you won't get them until you tell him."

"Look, I didn't ask you all this because I have any intention of telling them."

"Then why _did_ you ask me?"

"I guess...I guess I just didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to be the only one like this. You know?"

"You're not," Logan promised with a smile. "And...you're right. I'm in love with James. The thought of him never speaking to me again is devastating."

"Don't worry about that. He'll come around."

"You just said you didn't know if he would."

"I also said you've gotten closer to him than anyone else has. He let down his walls for you, Logan. Yeah, he's pissed now, but he obviously liked what he saw in you. Once he cools off, maybe he'll see that again."

It was worth hoping for. "If there's any way you can make that happen..."

"Well, I am the one person who can talk sense into him," Kendall bragged. "But not when he's wasted. Let's hope Carlos—" Kendall's phone buzzed. "Oh, here we go." He answered the call, putting it on speaker. "Hey."

"Yo. So Mom just dropped us off, she's heading back home now. James is passed out in bed."

Logan commanded, "Make sure he's not on his back. In case he throws up."

"Gross," Carlos complained. "He's on his side. Is that good enough?"

"Just try to lean him forward a little bit. How did it go?"

"Okay. I got Denise's number."

"Great," Kendall said with what sounded like sarcasm.

Logan felt the tension rolling across the room from Kendall and smiled. Either Kendall really didn't like Denise, or the dude he was into just happened to be the voice on the line. "Did Mandy try to stay with him?"

"No. Once Ma showed up she left with Denise. And Logan? I tried to talk to him about you. He's...it didn't go so good."

"I'm not surprised." He was hurt, but not surprised. "Did he say anything in particular that would help me fix this?"

"Not really. He just yelled at me that he never wanted to hear your name again."

Logan closed his eyes on a deep sigh, body deflating. "Thanks for trying."

"I told him what you said, though. That he can call you. And I put your number in his phone and then texted him that I did that. He'll see it when he wakes up."

"Okay. Let's hope he doesn't delete it. Is Brooke awake?"

"Nah, her light's off. We're good. Kendall, don't fart in my bed tonight."

"Fuck you, just for that I will."

Carlos laughed. "I'll remember that next time I sleep in yours. Are you guys having fun without me?"

Logan replied, "Honestly, Carlos, we're just talking."

"Man, you guys are boring. I'm gonna try to get James over tomorrow for the study session, but don't hold your breath."

"I'm not." Logan bit his lip. "Try anyway. Get some sleep, I want your brain functioning when we hit the books."

"Fine, fine. Kendall?"

"Yeah, buddy."

"Sorry about tonight. I know I promised you a tournament."

"It's not your fault. We'll make James buy us lunch Monday."

"Awesome! And then maybe next weekend we can try again?"

"Sure thing, buddy. It'll have to be Friday, though."

"Right, James' party is Saturday. Do you think he'll let Logan come?"

Logan answered that one. "Let's hope that by next weekend, he'll be speaking to me again. Goodnight, Carlos."

"Night, bro. Kendall? Are you staying for the study time?"

"Mom wants me to. She made me bring my books and homework with me. I guess it couldn't hurt."

"Cool! Maybe Logan will let us have a break and I can kick your ass on the game tomorrow!"

"We'll see," was all Logan would commit to. "Goodnight, Carlos. Take care of him."

"That's why I'm here. Night, Kendall!"

"Night. See you in the morning."

Logan heard the soft smile in his voice and knew for sure. It helped, knowing that he wasn't alone in his feelings. The difference was that there would probably be a happy ending for Carlos and Kendall. He'd seen the future and knew that wouldn't be the case for him and James.

As he closed his eyes to sleep ten minutes later, he tried not to let that bother him.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N—Hello, world. I don't even know what to say at this point because the world's gone crazy. But hey, since so many of us are stuck at home, at least that gives us plenty of time to read and write, right? Fic makes me happy and I hope it does the same for you. Enjoy this chapter and take care of yourself! :D Love you guys.

* * *

Sunday morning was Logan's first opportunity to do one of his favorite morning rituals—wake up and stay in bed. Years of school and work had trained him to be an early riser, so even on his days off he wasn't able to sleep in. Instead, he laid in bed comfortably and enjoyed doing something simple that didn't tax his brain too much.

How to spend the time in this period? He glanced to his left and found Kendall still sound asleep, the blankets pulled up over his head as he snored in a manner that wasn't obnoxious. Not wanting to return to Kendall's bad side, Logan was quiet as he slipped out of bed to cross the hall. He heard noises coming from the kitchen and guessed Sylvia was awake, but he wasn't in the mood to socialize so he kept going.

An hour later he was deeply ensconced in a book he'd found in the basement. He'd held physical books before but it was such a rarity that he enjoyed the weight of this one in his hands as he laid in bed and lost himself in a made-up world, so engrossed that he didn't hear the bedroom door open.

What caught his attention was a loud "Shh!" He jolted and looked over to see Carlos setting down the bag he'd packed the night before with a finger pressed to his lips. Carlos then studied his own bed with an assessing gaze before nodding and taking a flying leap onto it while yelling "Cannonball!" at the top of his lungs.

Logan wasn't sure what the "cannonball" represented, but he knew what Carlos was intending and sighed; there went any hope of Kendall waking up in a good mood. Sure enough, a scream came from under the blankets before Carlos was shoved away so hard he almost fell off the bed. "What the fuck, asswipe?!" Kendall exclaimed, his head suddenly appearing. His eyes were wild as he stared around half-awake, then let his head hit the pillow again. "Ugh, I hate you."

"No, you don't." Carlos grinned and reclined so that he was half-covering Kendall's body. He rested his chin on Kendall's chest in order to address Logan. "Hey, bro. Sleep well?"

"Sort of." There had been many nightmares about James and nuclear holocaust. "If you ever do that to me, I'll eat all the snacks in this drawer. _And_ tell your mom about your hiding place for them."

"Aww man, you don't play fair. I'm just messing with him, he's used to it."

"Doesn't mean I like it," Kendall grumbled, trying to hide under the covers again but Carlos' presence made it impossible. Instead he pulled a pillow over his face.

"He likes it," Carlos stated in a loud stage whisper. To Logan, he said, "Did you get any better at the game after I left?"

"No, we went to bed after you called. How's James?"

"Sleeping," Carlos shrugged. "He didn't throw up this time. I did wake him up before I left and tried to get him over here for breakfast. That usually works."

"Not this time?" Logan guessed.

Carlos shook his head with a sigh. "He just yelled at me again and said he'd never set foot in this house as long as...well, not for a long time. And then whined that his head hurts. I left him some aspirin for that."

"Thanks. He'll appreciate that once he officially wakes up." Logan figured James' comment had ended with "not as long as Logan lives there" and it made him sad.

"Kendall, did you go back to sleep?" Carlos wondered.

There was no reply from under the pillow. Carlos moved it aside to reveal a face that surprisingly wasn't annoyed but grinning, and his own lips curved up in response. "See? You don't hate me."

"Sometimes. Can we sleep now?" Kendall moved over to give Carlos more room. Rather than move off of Kendall, Carlos followed him across the mattress and snuggled in tighter.

"Nope, breakfast is almost ready. But we have a few minutes."

"Enjoy them," Logan suggested. "Because once the breakfast dishes are cleared away, that table becomes our study station. No one leaves until all homework is done."

Two groans came from the other bed. "Study station?" Carlos echoed. "You're totally the nerdiest brother I've ever had."

Logan took it as a compliment and threw off the covers to start the day. He only wished James was here to tease him about being a nerd, too.

* * *

Logan had organized many study sessions over his time in school and took pride in them. This one was different in that the participants wanted to be here less than anyone else Logan had ever tutored. As incentive, he promised to take them out for lunch (their choice on location) when all work was finished. That of course turned into an argument over where they wanted to eat and Logan began to understand what Katie had been trying to tell him—getting these boys to focus on schoolwork was an almost insurmountable task.

It went better than expected, though. Whenever Carlos strayed too far from the subject at hand, Logan tried to coax him back; that didn't work until Kendall stepped in to help. What finally did the job was Kendall suggesting turning the memory tricks into a game that Carlos could play. Carlos complained that playing a game against himself would be boring, but since Kendall had finished most of his homework by that time Logan asked him to challenge Carlos and from then on, it was a cinch. Once it became a competition, it was exciting to Carlos and he put all of his energy into beating his best friend in the subject of history.

He did so well that at one point Papi poked his head into the dining room and said, "I just had to see for myself that it's really my son yelling out historical facts that are _correct_. Keep it up, Carlos! We have a special dinner planned for you as a reward!"

"A special dinner?!" Carlos doubled down then and managed to squeak by Kendall for a victory Logan was extremely proud of, even Kendall clapping him on the back in congratulations.

"Nice job, buddy," Kendall grinned. "Now you just have to remember all of that on your test tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'm a little worried about that," Carlos fretted. "But at least now I know how to remember stuff. Thanks, Logan! If I pass this test, I'll buy you lunch Tuesday."

"Deal," Logan smiled, until the word "Tuesday" reminded him that he'd been invited to dinner by Brooke. He wouldn't be seeing James today, which left him basically a day and a half to fix what was wrong between himself and James. Maybe he should beg off whatever this special dinner was to stay home and brainstorm a plan.

The problem was that all of his knowledge about James did him no good because James hadn't become that person yet. The only way to get to know the man who existed now was to spend time with him, and that was the one thing James was adamant about preventing.

A whoop from Carlos jolted him out of his thoughts. Sylvia had come into the dining room to hug her son, who'd been screaming something about being number one. Kendall rolled his eyes but Logan could see that he was proud behind the annoyed exterior.

_They know him. If you can't get close to him, stay close to them. They'll keep in touch with him and you can use that to plan your next move._

But that felt like he was manipulating them again, and Logan hated the idea now more than he had on his first day here; they'd become friends to him now.

"_If you ever start to feel like what you're doing is a bad thing, remember all of the good that will come out of it. Remember that you're saving the population and all future generations, giving them a chance to make the world a better place. Do what it takes to accomplish this for that reason alone."_

Right. Roger's words still held true. He just had to focus on that part of it, not the "you're a lying, manipulating asshole who is using them for your own gain" part of the situation. In reality, he was helping them too, though. He was helping everyone who was alive today and who would be for the rest of time. It _was_ all about James, and yet it wasn't because his actions would affect every single living person. Logan had to make this work no matter what.

Carlos suddenly nudged him out of the mental funk he'd fallen into. "Go get dressed. You owe me a corn dog at the mall."

Logan blinked a few times, wondering if he'd heard wrong. "A...what? Did you say _dog_?"

"Oh my god, you don't even know what a _corn dog_ is?! We have so much work to do with you! Go get dressed, now it's _my_ turn to be teacher. Today's lesson is corn dogs and ice cream. Go!"

There was no arguing with the commanding tone. Logan went.

* * *

Sylvia drove them all to the mall, then left them alone while she did some shopping she'd been meaning to get done. She instructed them to meet her in two hours at a department store so they could buy clothing for Logan, and then they were free.

First stop? Something called Hot Dog on a Stick. Logan had heard of (and eaten) hamburgers, or at least a facsimile of them made from a plant base, and Carlos now told him that hamburgers went "hand in hand with hot dogs. We'll do hamburgers another day, but today it's all about the dog. Let me order for you."

Logan was nervous. He'd never read anything stating that humans ate dogs in this part of the world, but maybe that also got twisted in history books. Standing behind Carlos and Kendall in line, Logan gently tugged on Kendall's sleeve to get his attention. Kendall stepped closer.

"Um," Logan whispered. "I don't...please don't make fun of me. You know I was raised differently than most."

Kendall's brows drew together. "Okay?"

"We're not...what is this made from? It's not actual dog, right?" When Kendall's response was a widening of the eyes followed by explosive laughter, Logan relaxed. They wouldn't be eating a dog today.

"What's so funny?" Carlos wanted to know.

"Nothing, I just saw some dude drop his tray. Noodles everywhere." Kendall cleared his throat and waited for Carlos to turn away before leaning down to whisper, "No dog. It's beef. Sometimes they're made from pork or chicken or turkey, but these are all beef."

"Thanks," Logan sighed. He supposed eating a cow wasn't any more humane than a dog in the grand scheme of things, but it was something he'd at least done before. "And um...the corn? Is there corn in it?"

"The batter is made from corn." They moved ahead when Carlos stepped up to give their order. "It's basically a stick of meat fried in cornmeal batter. Trust me, it's amazing. Carlos will never steer you wrong with food. Just don't listen when he tries to tell you that ketchup is good on fruit."

Logan's face blanched in disgust. "Got it."

Kendall and Carlos were correct: corn dogs were delicious, especially dipped in mustard. Along with lemonade that Carlos insisted was "the best ever," Logan consumed three of them before stopping in fear of a stomachache. His digestive system was still getting used to all of the changes and he didn't want to push it.

It had been hours since anyone had mentioned James and he was getting antsy. "Hey, have you guys heard from James?" he tried now. "Is he okay?"

Carlos shook his head. Kendall commented, "He'll probably sleep all day, or at least until dinner time. He always does after getting wasted. I'll check on him, though."

While Carlos continued to eat, Kendall put a call through. It seemed forever before he perked up, Logan watching in anticipation. "Hey. Just checking on you." Kendall rolled his eyes at whatever the answer was. "I care. Sue me. Are you at home? Good. Are you gonna—dude, seriously? Just stay home. Rest. You have to quit pushing yourself like this." There was a flash of green eyes Logan's way before he said, "We're at the mall. Yeah, he's here. He needs clothes so we're—fine, you asked, I was just telling you. I don't know, I guess when we're done here. I don't know, James. If you need to get out of there, just come here."

They couldn't hear what was being said on the phone, but James' voice did rise enough that the timbre of it reached Logan. He sighed; James was still not willing to be anywhere near him.

"Fine, go to my house then. Katie might still have some friends over, though, and if they think _I'm_ hot, they'll be all over you. Well, where else are you gonna—no. Please, James. Don't...okay, I'll go home. I'll leave when we're done eating and meet you at your house. Just stay there until I get there, okay? I don't care if she calls, ignore it. You're busy, you have plans with me. Fine. Thank you. See you in like an hour." Kendall set the phone on the table and groaned while his head fell back. "I fucking hate this."

"I'm sorry." Logan knew it was his fault that a wedge was coming between The Three Amigos. "I can leave if that's easier."

"No, you need clothes. You can't keep wearing this dork's outfits every day."

"Hey!" Carlos yelled through a corn dog. He swallowed the current bite and asked, "What's going on? You're leaving?"

"Well, it's either that or he calls Mandy and spends another night messed up. I told him to come down here, but..."

Kendall didn't need to finish the sentence; Logan knew why James wasn't willing to do that. "Carlos, if you want to go with him I understand."

"Nah, Mom will want me home. Besides, we're getting a special dinner! But dude, we never got to battle it out on the game! We got stuck doing homework instead!"

"We'll find time," Kendall promised. "Maybe next Sunday. I can stay at your place after James' party."

"Or we can stay at yours. Oh, but Logan won't be..." Carlos looked down.

Logan shook his head. "Don't worry about me. You guys do whatever you want."

"Maybe by then James will forgive you," Carlos hoped. "I mean, he can hold a grudge, but he did seem to really like you. Maybe you should go with Kendall now and—"

"No." Kendall and Logan both said it at the same time. It was Logan who added, "He doesn't want to see me right now."

"And he's still in pain," Kendall reminded them. "He's angry and moody and it's just not a good time for Logan to be around."

"It's fine," Logan shrugged. It really wasn't. "I'll try again at school tomorrow. Maybe he'll talk to me at lunch." _ Or he'll just eat with Mandy. _ Logan didn't want to consider that.

"I guess," Carlos sighed. "I'll call Mom and tell her you need your stuff from the car," he said to Kendall. "Can you at least stay for ice cream?"

"Hell yeah, I can stay for ice cream. James can just wait."

Carlos grinned. "Cool. You can get vanilla and we'll share. Logan, you gotta try both the vanilla and the chocolate. I don't even know which is better, they're so good!"

Logan had no idea how Carlos could put away more food after all the corn dogs, but he was learning that some things in life didn't have an answer that made sense. Sometimes you just had to accept what was without explanation.

* * *

Sylvia spent more money on Logan than he was comfortable with, and he silently vowed to make it up to her and the family somehow. But by the time they were done shopping he had enough clothing to make it through two weeks without doing laundry and for that he was grateful. He could add on over time.

"Special dinner" turned out to be Carlos' favorite Chinese food restaurant. It was a new experience for Logan, who stuck to rice as a compromise with his stomach (which was unhappy with all the fried foods he'd been eating). Of course, considering the rice was also fried that didn't do much good; the added bits of chicken and beef made it all worth it, though.

Before bed Logan spent fifteen minutes quizzing Carlos, who with the help of memory tricks remembered most of what he'd learned earlier in the day. Logan was proud of him, and Carlos was so excited that he texted Kendall to share the good news (and maybe to brag a little, as well). Through that conversation Logan learned that James had spent a quiet evening at the Knight home and was feeling somewhat better. He was just relieved that James wasn't out with Mandy making his life worse.

Brooke was on his mind as he settled into bed for the evening. With James asleep most of the day and at Kendall's when he wasn't, Brooke had most likely spent the day alone. He sent out a text and hoped he wasn't waking her; she responded quickly enough that Logan knew she was still awake.

"_I'm fine, don't baby me. How are you? Has James contacted you yet?"_

"_No, he still doesn't want to see me. I'm going to try to talk to him at school tomorrow."_

"_I attempted to get him talking earlier. He refuses to even hear your name."_

"_That's what Carlos said. How do I get through to him?"_

"_If I knew that, my son would be here right now instead of at Jennifer's house. He's informed me that he's staying the night."_

"_I'm sorry. Can I do anything for you?"_

"_No, I can manage to survive a night in my home. Stop worrying about me and figure out how you're going to change my stubborn son's mind. I'm still expecting you for dinner Tuesday."_

Logan closed his eyes on a sigh. It seemed an impossible feat._ "I'll see what I can do tomorrow. Goodnight."_

"_Goodnight. Get some sleep. You're no good to him if you're too tired to function."_

It was nine o'clock. Brooke was acting like he'd stayed up half the night already. He chuckled and set his phone down on the nightstand before turning over on his side and enjoying the quiet while Carlos was occupied in the bathroom. For tonight, he was going to pretend to be asleep so that he could devote time to brainstorming.

* * *

Logan's morning classes were pretty much a repeat of the Friday before except that he aced a pop quiz and passed a weekly exam with flying colors. He wondered if maybe he would draw less attention to himself by getting an answer wrong here and there, and then realized that by using his actual name, he was leaving records of himself in this time period. Why hadn't they thought of that in the future before sending him back?

_Maybe they did, Logan. Maybe they'll send someone back in time to delete all of it and make it so you never existed here. _ As long as they waited until after his death, he was fine with that. Notoriety wasn't his goal.

_His _goal sauntered into biology just before the bell rang, looking much less haggard than he had the Friday before. Logan didn't think James was aware that they shared this class and had been nervous about James' reaction upon seeing him, but there was no need—once again James took his seat without looking around at all. He pulled out his textbook and slunk down in the desk in an obvious "please leave me alone" position but otherwise seemed to actually pay attention to Mrs. Simmons and take notes. It was a strange mix of "Nobody look at me" and "I actually care what you're saying" and Logan wondered if their talk about turning James into a nerd had anything to do with it. Yes, James was angry at him and no longer trusted him—but did he still take Logan's advice to heart?

Logan was too far away to get his attention without making a scene, and when Logan envisioned how such a scene might play out he dropped the idea altogether. Better to wait for lunch, where he would at least have an open space and friends to defend him.

Speaking of those friends, it appeared that they were headed for a happy ending at some point, if one of them grew the courage to say the words out loud to the other. Logan could probably help with that. He was five minutes into forming a plan when he remembered that he couldn't interfere. It was bad enough that he'd already influenced who knew how many tiny things in this time; getting two people together was much more than an effect he had no control over. In this, he would have to let nature take its course.

_In all things, you're supposed to do that, Logan. All things. Quit lying in bed at night imagining James kissing you._

Because of course that was where his brainstorming had led the evening before. Sure, he'd come up with different ways that he thought might win James over, but each one ended the same: with James not only forgiving him but expressing undying love and devotion before their lips met with a passion he'd only dreamed of. And that couldn't happen, no matter how badly he wanted it to. In truth, even if some miracle occurred and James did fall in love with him, he would have to step away. He had no place in James' future. The knowledge sliced him in two when he actually thought about it.

_Then don't. Forget about it, just focus on what you can do to get James in the right frame of mind to come up with that theory. Open his mind to science and medicine._

Logan's gaze flitted across the room to its favorite sight, then did more than flit once he knew it was safe; he let his eyes roam from head to toe, taking in every inch of skin and fabric that he could drink in. He remembered what those hazel eyes looked like when James genuinely smiled at him, how they'd lit up Saturday when he'd reappeared after the game and James realized he hadn't left. He remembered the feel of James' arm over his shoulders, James' hand clutching at his, James holding him close as the support he wished desperately to be every second.

_I want that back, I want_ all _of it back. I know you were feeling something for me, I didn't imagine that moment when you wanted to kiss me. I _know_ I didn't. Where did you go? And _why_? Why does it bother you so much that I'm attracted to you? It sure as hell didn't bother you Saturday._

But that brought Logan back to the knowledge that it wouldn't matter if James did want him. He couldn't do anything about it. And the cycle began again, and by the time the bell rang to release them from class, Logan had fallen into depression. He watched James gather his belongings and stride right past a girl who was approaching with a tentative smile; the girl sighed once he'd passed, her chance gone. Had James known she wished to speak to him? Was he that much of a dick even when sober?

And how was it possible that James Diamond,_ his _James Diamond, could be a dick at all?

_This isn't who I traveled 200 years back in time to save! This isn't the man I fell in love with! What the fuck is happening, how did it all go so wrong?!_

Logan had no answers to any of his questions. It was driving him insane.

* * *

Today Sylvia had packed him a lunch, but he made a stop in the cafeteria for pudding anyway; he felt he deserved it after the week (or so) he'd had.

_It hasn't even been a week. It feels like it's been years. I'm getting nowhere._

He approached the quad slowly, letting his eyes skate over the grassy steps. Kendall had arrived first. There was no sign of James, so Logan thought it was safe to join him.

Kendall glanced up as he neared. "Hey."

"Hey. Is it just us?"

"Carlos is coming, he had to stay after class. James...I never know anymore."

Logan nodded. "So should I...?"

"Stay. James can get over it."

Logan blew out a breath and sank onto a step. "How did it go last night? How is he?"

"Depressed," Kendall answered. "He still won't talk to me about any of it, which pisses me off. But at least he was safe at my house."

"He won't even talk about me? Like why he's so angry?"

"Nope. Your name is not allowed to be mentioned around him."

"Ugh. Why is he so stubborn and ridiculous?"

"Ha, he's always been like that," Kendall chuckled. "He gets an idea in his head and...well."

"Yeah." Logan bit his lip. "I just don't get why he reacted the way he did. I mean, is it so horrible that someone finds him attractive?"

Kendall shook his head after tearing into what looked like a turkey sandwich. "It's not that. He loves being admired. It's that he trusted you, he told you things he wouldn't tell anyone else ever, because he trusted you."

"I still don't get it."

"It's hard to explain, but it makes sense if you know James. When you got him talking, he felt like he could trust you. Like you actually care."

"I do!"

"And I think he felt like you respected him and his feelings, you know?"

"I did! I do! Kendall, why would that change just because I'm attracted to him?"

"Because in his mind all of it was to get into his pants. To use his words for it, at least. See, if you didn't find him attractive then you had no ulterior motive. You cared about him as a person and you listened to him because you cared. Now he just feels like it was all an act because you wanted his body."

"What?! Did he actually say that?"

"He didn't have to. I've known him practically my whole life, and one area James always has issues with is trust. Insecurity. He never feels good enough on his own. As a performer, sure. He's good and he knows it. But behind that whole glamour thing he's got going on, he feels inadequate and like people think he's dumb. Like he's not worthy of someone respecting him or loving him for who he is, weaknesses and all. He doesn't like to show those. With you, he did. And now he feels like he trusted somebody who betrayed him."

Logan's head fell back in frustration. "That is not what happened. How do I—"

Kendall's gaze shot up. "James! Hey, get back here, don't—"

Logan spun to see James walking away. "James, wait!"

His gait got faster as he strode with his head down.

"Dammit, James," Logan muttered. He hopped up and grabbed the backpack he hadn't opened yet, then ran after James. "Hold on a second."

Long legs pumped harder as if he was about to run instead.

"I'll go, okay? You can stay, I'll go eat in the library. It's fine."

James finally halted. He didn't turn around, shoulders rigid as he waited.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I...miss you."

Still no response.

"James, please. Look at me. Just—"

"Go away."

Logan's breath caught.

"Go. Away."

"Okay. Just know that—"

"Jesus, do you ever _shut up_?"

The steel in James' voice was enough to do it this time. Logan swallowed back tears. "Fine. Since I won't get to say it Sunday...happy birthday."

When James continued to stand still as stone, Logan finally turned away. He blinked fast to chase back the tears that wanted to fall and trudged toward the library. Once safely inside the building, he peeked through a glass pane in the door to see James taking up a spot next to Kendall. Carlos was approaching them from behind.

At least James wouldn't be eating alone. Or with the she-demon. All in all, it was a win.

It didn't feel like that, though.

Logan found a quiet corner to disappear into. The pudding worked to drown his sorrows in. Here he was in an entire building full of books on paper, and he wasn't even excited. He just wanted to hide away and cry.

Ten minutes later Kendall texted. _ "Sorry about that. He still won't talk about you. Carlos tried."_

"_It's fine. I wanted to check out the library anyway. Just take care of him. Make sure he's okay."_

"_He's depressed. I wish you were here, you could probably get him talking."_

"_Just be there. It's enough."_

"_Carlos said if you want to wait for us after school, we can head home together after practice. Maybe you can do your homework in the library."_

"_No. I don't want to make James uncomfortable. Just stay with him when you can. He needs you guys."_

"_Fine. See ya."_

Logan sighed and laid his head on the cool table. He was back to square one.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N—Yep, it's another chapter in less than a week. You can thank the fact that I finally got past my writer's block and the words are flowing once again! I've written almost two full chapters this week! Being stuck at home for a week probably had something to do with that. Is anyone else as sick of being home as I am? But it's all necessary to keep us and each other safe, so that's what we do. I hope you guys are well and taking care of yourselves!

Because this entire chapter takes place in the Garcia home, it's mostly a Cargan fest. Lots of talk between the two of them, as well as Logan doing his best to get past James' wall. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this!

* * *

Homework was the last thing Logan felt like doing; he knew all the answers and wasn't learning anything. It was a way to take his mind off of James, though, so while Sylvia started dinner Monday evening, Logan camped out at the dining room table and buried himself in advanced physics and an essay about democracy and the state of the current American political climate. That at least he had to brush up on a tiny bit.

Hurricane Carlos blew into the house around 5:30 with excited yells of "Ma! Logan! Ma! Logan!" His gear was of course dropped right inside the front door.

Sylvia poked her head into the dining room to meet Logan's amused smirk. "We're in here, baby!"

Carlos had run right past the dining room area toward the other entrance to the kitchen. They heard him skid to the left so he could reverse his course and come around from the other direction, where Sylvia waited with hands on her hips. "Ma!"

"Carlos, I'm right here, what's going on?"

"I did it!" He looked over to make sure Logan was paying attention, too. His face was a mask of sheer happiness. "I passed! I got a C+ on my history test! Can you believe it?!"

Sylvia gasped. "Carlos!" Her arms dragged him in for a hug while she whooped in pride. "Baby, I'm so proud of you!"

"I know, I mean a C isn't the best grade but considering I couldn't get above a D all year, this is awesome!" He turned to Logan. "And it's all thanks to you! I was having trouble remembering all the answers but then the last ten minutes I tried the memory trick and I had time to change half my guesses and...see, Ma? I'm not stupid!"

"Oh honey, we always knew you weren't stupid!" Now Sylvia hugged him from behind before pushing him toward Logan. "Go tell him all about it. I'm making the burgers and fries you've been asking for for dinner, but the rest of the week we eat healthy."

"Burgers and fries?! Is this the best day ever or what?!"

Logan grinned as Carlos approached the table. "Congratulations, buddy. I'm proud of you."

"Imagine next time when I start the memory tricks at the beginning of the test! I was so nervous about it that I wasn't thinking until it was almost too late. What you doing?"

"Writing an essay."

"Booooooring."

"Agreed. Why don't you go get today's homework and we'll get that done before dinner? If...do we have time?"

"Yeah, Ma makes fries from actual potatoes, like she cuts them and fries them and seasons them and..." Bliss stole over Carlos' features. "_So_ good. But it takes awhile. Logan, I can't believe I passed! I couldn't wait to tell you, I was hoping you would walk home with us! Kendall said he asked."

"He did," Logan nodded. He waited for Carlos to retrieve his backpack and get seated before continuing. "I didn't think James would want that."

Carlos tsked. "Who cares? He didn't walk home with us anyway. He took off with Mandy."

Logan's head fell back in frustration. "She is the worst person for him to be around in his current mindset. Why doesn't he get it? He doesn't even like her!"

"Really?" Carlos paused in the act of slipping a notebook from his pack. "He said that?"

He'd promised not to repeat anything James said when they were alone. _Damn._ "Not exactly," Logan hedged. "I can just tell by the way he talks about her. I don't think it's her he likes, he just...likes having someone."

"Well, I can understand that. I wouldn't want to be alone either. But he has us! We're way cooler than that bitch." At a warning yell from his mother, Carlos cringed. "Sorry, Ma!" In a quieter tone he shared, "Mom hates it when we curse. I gotta keep that down. But you agree, right? About Mandy?"

"Mandy is absolutely not my favorite person," Logan replied. "How long have you guys known her? Forever?"

"Mandy?" Carlos shook his head. "Nah, she just started at Denfield this year. Transferred from somewhere in New York, I think? I don't know. But she showed up and got popular really fast. Since James is so popular, I guess she decided he was the boyfriend she needed."

Logan swallowed, trying not to let panic overshadow rational thinking. "So...she's new around here?"

"Not like too new. She's been here since the beginning of senior year."

"And she went after James right away? I thought you said he never dates girls for long."

"Oh, he's only been with her for a few months. But she came around sometimes, trying to get his attention. Kendall hated her from the start," Carlos confided, leaning closer to add, "He thinks she just wants James for the fame. Like she knows James is gonna be famous and wants to be part of all that."

_Or wants to gain his trust so she can take him out._ Anxiety was causing Logan's arms to tingle. "What do _you _think?"

"I don't know," Carlos shrugged. "She's okay, I guess. She's pretty. And she really does seem to like James. To be honest, I usually pay more attention to Denise when they're around so..."

"Right. You're into Denise." That cut through Logan's fears enough for him to refocus on Carlos. "Wait. I thought you were into Kendall."

"Oh my god! Logan!" Carlos' eyes bugged out and he hissed, "Will you shut up about that? I don't want Ma to know! I don't want _anybody _to know! Just forget about that, okay?! It's not going anywhere, ever!"

Logan rolled his eyes. "How did the sleepover go Friday night?"

"It was a sleepover. We have those all the time, it was nothing special. I mean, it was awesome because it was just me and him, but not...what _you're_ thinking. Not like that."

"Well, I can hope." _ I just can't manipulate you two into a relationship. Can I at least hint, though?_ "When you sleep over at his house, do you share a bed? You mentioned sleeping in his bed."

"I've been sleeping on the floor lately," Carlos admitted. "It used to be James who did that, because he's a bed hog and Kendall would get annoyed."

The new information about James made Logan smile. It was a piece of intimate information that history books couldn't pass on. "Why did that change?"

Carlos shifted so he could whisper. "I don't trust myself anymore. I'm afraid I might like...do something. Imagine waking up next to the guy you're into and his lips are right there and it would be so easy, you know? I'd ruin everything. It's too hard to resist."

Logan could understand that. If he'd shared a bed with James that night they'd spent together, or even the night they were _supposed_ to spend together...

_Would he have kissed me? If we'd had the perfect night we were supposed to, dinner with Brooke and then talk with her about feelings...he would've been raw and open and leaning on me for support, probably cried and let me hold him, and would that night have ended in a kiss and perhaps more? Would he have realized that I'm better for him than some brainless slut who's only using him for notoriety and attention? Or possibly out to kill him?_

The idea that it might've happened left Logan feeling hollow now. Yes, he knew the right thing to do would be to put a stop to James making a move on him, but would he have been able to? Didn't he deserve one night with the man he'd loved for most of his life?

Carlos' throat clearing interrupted the spiraling direction of his thoughts. Sylvia had slipped into the dining room and now set a plate between them. "Here boys, I made you a snack. A _healthy_ snack."

Carlos eyed the sliced apples and asked, "Come on Ma, can't we at least get peanut butter to dip them in? It has lots of protein!"

"It's also full of fat, which you'll get plenty of with dinner. I can get you milk if you want that."

"Right, because there's no fat in milk," Carlos pointed out with a roll of his eyes. "Lemonade? Can we get that?"

"I suppose. I bought a new brand that has less sugar. But I want to see those books open and you working when I come back."

"Yes, ma'am," Carlos sighed.

When they were alone Logan picked up their conversation. "I get it. Not trusting yourself around him. But just remember that he might wonder why you suddenly changed your sleeping arrangements. He might think he did something wrong. And that could also be why he feels like he's losing you."

Carlos blinked while his head spun with the consideration of Logan's words. "I never thought of that. Do you think he thinks I don't like him anymore? That I don't want to be near him?"

Logan shrugged. "You did cuddle with him yesterday morning. I'm sure that helped a little."

"But you were there. What if he thinks I'm afraid to be alone with him because I don't like him?"

"Or because he made you uncomfortable?" Logan suggested, thinking of Kendall's feelings for Carlos and imagining he had the same fears.

"Oh no. This sucks! How do I fix it?"

Both Logan and Carlos jumped when Sylvia yelled, "Carlos, what did I just say? I expect your homework done before dinner!"

"Sorry," Logan said. "It's my fault, I was distracting him. We'll get to work now."

She nodded at them before setting down two glasses of cold lemonade and returning to the kitchen. Carlos pulled out a math book.

"Stay over at his place after James' party," Logan instructed. "And don't sleep on the floor."

"What if James is there?"

"I think we both know where he'll be on his birthday, and it won't be with people who make him talk about his mother. He'll want to escape all that."

"Yeah," Carlos said with sadness. "I hope he doesn't get wasted tonight. It's my turn to babysit and Mom isn't gonna want me going anywhere on a school night."

"And we know he won't come here." The thought depressed Logan. His presence had taken away one of the few places James felt safe, causing him to spend more time with a person who was detrimental to his health and psyche. "I miss him," Logan admitted softly. "Is that weird? I've only known him for a few days." That wasn't technically true. "And we just talked Saturday."

"It's not weird if you care about him," Carlos shared. "Kendall told me you have...you know. Feelings for him."

"Of course he did."

"Dude, why didn't you just tell me our first night together?"

"Oh, the night James yelled at me that he never wanted to see me again? I'd just met him."

"No, not that. Why didn't you tell me about...you know." Carlos glanced toward the kitchen to make sure his mother was occupied. He hissed, "The gay thing. You knew how I felt about Kendall, why didn't you tell me you like dudes, too?"

_Because I like one specific dude and nobody else, man or woman, has ever made me feel like this._ Logan shrugged hopelessly. "It doesn't matter. He doesn't want me around."

"So? He's not the only guy in the world, Logan. Don't give up, there's somebody out there for you. You'll meet a lot of people now. One of them will be the guy for you."

_One of them already is. And he hates me. _ Logan's eyes started to burn. "Let's get going on this homework before your mom yells at us again. I'll teach you a math trick that always helps me."

"Cool! I always have trouble with angles and algebra."

Angles and algebra became their world for the next hour, and it helped to get James off his mind—a little. There was still an ache in his chest that hadn't gone away since he lost James' trust that he didn't see leaving anytime soon.

* * *

"_Do you prefer apple or peach pie?"_

The random text from Brooke came in as Logan was preparing for a shower. He picked up his phone from the bathroom sink and replied.

"_I won't be there. I tried today. He still won't talk to me. Won't even look at me."_

"_That doesn't answer my question. I'm at the bakery right now and I need an answer."_

Logan let out a deep sigh. The woman didn't know how to give up. _ "I won't be there."_

"_Logan, it's a simple question. Apple. Peach. Pick one."_

"_Peach."_

"_Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow at seven for dinner. Don't be late."_

Did she not understand words? _"James doesn't want me there."_

"_So? It's my house too and you're my guest for dinner. James can be civil for an hour."_

"_That's not going to work, Brooke. He's going to be furious."_

"_When is he not? Seven o'clock. Bring your appetite."_

And his battle armor, apparently._ "Are you okay? Do you need me to drive you home from the bakery?" _Logan didn't even know where the bakery was but he'd find a way to get there if she needed him.

"_I have a driver today. I made him stop here on the way home from my doctor appointment, which ran much later than planned. Stop treating me like a weakling."_

Logan rolled his eyes. _ "Call me if you need me for anything. I'm not far."_

"_I'm aware of where the Garcias live. I'll see you tomorrow evening. Be there or suffer my wrath. Trust me, you don't want to do that."_

He could only imagine. _"Have a good evening, Brooke. Get some rest."_

She responded with a middle finger, shocking Logan into a laugh. There were times when it was clear that James was his mother's son and approached the world in the same manner.

Logan loved her already.

* * *

"_218-555-0914. Use it."_

This one came in as Logan was lying in bed thinking about the same thing he always did—James. Most would've said he had an obsession, and they would've been right. The fact that it was now his government-ordered mission to think about James helped him feel a little better about it.

He groaned when he read the text from Brooke. She really didn't get it, did she? James wanted nothing to do with him. _"He'll just block my number. He probably has already."_

"_I doubt it. He's just sitting in his room watching television. Granted, he's cranky, but he always is with me so that's nothing new."_

James was home? Last Logan had heard, he'd been with Mandy. He glanced at the time. Only 9:30 and James was already safely home and in bed? That was a good sign, right? _ "When did he get home?"_

"_About an hour ago. He refused dinner and my offer to talk but he did make a point to come to my room and let me know he was home. Normally he'd just sneak up to his room and pretend I'm not here. It's progress."_

Because he was worried about her and wanted her to know he was there if she needed him. It gave Logan hope. _ "I can try but it's not going to do any good. It might actually makes things worse."_

"_How much worse can they get, Logan?"_

Well, when she put it like that...

_Roger would tell you to try. He would remind you that you have a duty to save the world and you can't let some moody teenager keep you from doing that. James needs to know what he's capable of. Is anyone else going to show him that?_

No. It was up to him.

"_Fine. But if he blocks me, it's on your head."_

"_I've got less than a year to live. I'll take my chances."_

Logan didn't know whether to roll his eyes or be sad about the truth behind the comment. He sat up in bed to think about what he wanted to say to James (should a miracle happen and James actually answer the call), glad Carlos was currently tucked away in the shower; nobody needed to hear this conversation. Time was short, though, so Logan put the number into his phone (and with a frisson of excitement over the fact that he had_ James Diamond's phone number_) and dialed three minutes later. As expected, the call went to voicemail. He hung up and tried again with the same result, only this time voicemail picked up almost immediately.

_What does that mean? Did he block me? Would I even get to voicemail if he did? Did he just decline the call right away? I don't know how this stupid old-time technology works!_

Either way, Logan didn't leave a message. He considered it, very briefly, and then decided a text might be better so he could edit as he went and read it over twenty times before sending. He had to make sure he said exactly the right words to get through to James.

Then again, James probably wouldn't even read it.

_Just say what's in your heart, Logan. Be genuine, because according to Kendall that's his biggest issue. And don't use your professor voice, just express your thoughts and feelings in a simple and direct manner. Speak from the heart._

Logan wasn't used to doing that. How did one speak from the heart while still trying to manipulate someone into a desired result?

"_If you ever start to feel like what you're doing is a bad thing, remember all of the good that will come out of it. Remember that—"_

"Okay, Roger, I get it! Shut up and let me think!" Logan gasped when he realized he'd yelled that out loud. Had Sylvia heard? Perhaps Papi, who was on the other side of the wall in the living room?

_Stop stalling. Stop overthinking it and just say what you want to say. Don't worry about how he might react. Be the person he liked before he decided you're a monster._

With that directive in mind, it only took Logan ten minutes to compose the rather long text. He read it over once to make sure there were no grammatical errors, then held his breath and sent.

Just like that, it was done. The waiting would be the worst. He was full of nervous energy, hands shaking and feet tapping against the mattress. Ten seconds later he had to get up and pace. Even if James did read it, he wasn't likely to respond, so Logan needed to let it go. At least until tomorrow, when he could read James' body language and expression for a hint.

Had he said the right things, though? Was he too pushy about Brooke? Would James not believe him and think he was still just trying to work his way into James' bed?

_Deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths. Read it over once and then let it go. You have to let this go for tonight._

Logan forced himself to settle into bed again. Carlos would be back soon, and that would be a distraction at least. For now, he ignored the pounding of his heart and picked up his phone to read the text again.

"_I don't know if you'll read this, but I have to try. For all I know, you already have me blocked. I hope you don't, though. I hope you know me well enough to believe that everything I said to you was genuine and I meant every word. Yes, I'm attracted to you. I admit it. I've never known anyone as beautiful and amazing as you, but it's not just your looks. I can't explain it, but I feel like I've known you forever and the more time I spend with you, the more I admire and respect you. You're so much smarter than you realize. You have an incredible future ahead of you. Please don't punish me for seeing the real you and wanting to be close to it. If it makes you uncomfortable that I have feelings for you, I can promise I won't act on them. Your friendship is enough for me. Right now I've lost that and I feel empty. I care about you and I need to know you're okay. Please don't shut me out. _

_If you must, though, I understand and will respect your wishes. I'll stay away. But don't let your anger at me affect your relationship with your mother. Everything we talked about regarding her is still true—she's still dying and she still needs you. She's trying, James. She's trying so hard and you're right that it's late in the game for her to realize how much time she's wasted, but at least she realized it. Now you're the one wasting it by shutting her out. Please talk to her, say all the things you were planning to say Saturday night before I ruined everything. She loves you so much. Make sure she knows that you love her, too. Be there for her when she needs you and remember that she won't tell you when that is. She won't ask for help. You'll have to pay attention and force her to let you help because she's stubborn and proud. I know you don't want to hear this or think about it, but it's going to get worse and it's going to happen fast. She needs you. Be there for her._

_And if you ever need me? I'm here. Anytime. Always. If you won't lean on me, lean on Carlos and Kendall. Talk to Jennifer if it's an adult you need. Just don't put yourself through this alone. You have friends and family that love you. Let them help you because they care about you. This burden doesn't have to be on you alone. Talk to someone, even if it isn't me._

_And since you probably aren't reading this anyway, I might as well say what's on my mind. Mandy isn't right for you. I'm not saying that as someone who wants you for myself, I'm speaking as a friend. I knew it the night we met, the night you tried to hit me. She doesn't care about you, James, not the way a girlfriend should. You're better off finding someone who loves you for you and not what you can bring her. I know you said you'd rather have her than be alone, but I'm telling you again that you're never alone. Look around you and see the friends and family that want to help you. And remember that if you need me, I'm here. _

_I wish you the best of luck in every aspect of your life. You're going to do so many amazing things, things you can't even dream of yet. You're going to change the world. I'll be at the hockey game Saturday to cheer you on, but I'll keep my distance. I hope you have a fantastic birthday party and get everything you want. Thank you for the time you did spend with me, I'll never forget any of it or you. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like less than what you are. You're so much more._

_I guess that's all I have to say. I believe in you, James Diamond. Don't let anybody ever tell you that you can't do something. Anything is possible._

By the time Logan finished reading, tears were dripping from his chin onto the blanket he'd pulled over himself. Those might be the last words he'd ever speak to James, and the knowledge left him heartbroken.

"Dude, Ma said tomorrow we're—what's wrong? Are you crying?"

Logan turned away, onto his right side so that Carlos couldn't see his face. "No."

"You're_ so _crying." Carlos dropped his dirty clothes onto the floor near his bed. "What the heck happened?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Oh my god, stop being a drama queen. We're brothers, this is what it's all about. When you're sad, I'm here to help. Tell me what's wrong."

This was the side of Carlos that Kendall admired so much, wasn't it? And if he shut Carlos out, he would be as bad as James. There was so much that Logan couldn't share with Carlos, though.

"Logan. Talk to me." Carlos climbed into bed before slapping the palm of his hand against the nightstand three times. "_Talk to me._"

Logan cringed against the loud noise. "Wow, you're annoying." He rolled onto his back and plugged in his phone to charge. "It's no big deal."

"Yeah, no big deal that got you crying." Carlos sat up suddenly. "Wait, is it your parents? Do you miss them? We never talk about it but that's because Mom said I shouldn't ask, it's not that I don't care. If you need to talk about that, I can—"

"No. Carlos, no, it's not my parents."

"Swear?"

"I promise. It's...I dealt with most of my grief over them before I came here."

"Okay. But I'm here if you do need to talk about that. About anything."

"You're a good brother," Logan smiled, turning onto his left now to look up at Carlos. "I'm feeling better."

"No you're not, you're just faking it so I'll shut up. But guess what? I won't. So talk."

"And now I know how James feels when I won't shut up." He'd meant it in a teasing manner, but the realization that James would never be affectionately annoyed with him again turned the words into a sulk.

"Oh man, is it James? Did you finally talk to him?"

"No," Logan sighed. He closed his eyes, not wanting to face the penetrating gaze from Carlos. "Not exactly. Brooke sent me his number, said I should call him. I tried and he ignored my calls. So I texted him and now...I'm just waiting. If he has me blocked, he won't see my text, right?"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure that's a no. I've never blocked anyone, so I don't know for sure. Google could tell us."

"Google can tell us anything," Logan chuckled. "But I'm positive that's how blocking works; it's built into the name. You're blocked."

"Yeah. And with James you can't even tell if he reads the text or not because he has it set that way."

Logan frowned. "Explain."

"Well, like with me. When you text me and I read it, the message changes to say that." Carlos nudged Logan's phone closer to him. "Look at it."

Logan did, and sure enough the last text he'd sent Carlos stated "Read yesterday" under his message. "What does it say if you haven't read it yet?"

"Same thing all my texts to James says: _Delivered_. It never changes. He sets it that way so he can ignore people and then say 'Oh sorry, didn't read your text yet.'"

"Does he really do that?" Logan wondered. "I mean, does he have that many people texting him?"

"It's James. Everyone wants to know him."

"Right." Which made Logan feel stupid about saying that in the long text. It made him sound like he was just one more desperate follower begging to be special. "Why does he give out his number to so many people if he doesn't want to talk to them?"

"He doesn't. One of his ex-girlfriends got mad when he dumped her and then she posted his number on her Instagram. He was pissed."

Logan's mouth opened slowly. "Wow. Can't he just change it?"

"That's what I said, but he uses that number for all of his business stuff. Like with the auditions and modeling? So he's afraid to change it. He has a lot of contacts who already have that number."

_Okay, so we'll add changing that number to the list. Right after deleting all of his social media accounts._ "Mandy would probably do something immature like that if he broke up with her. I told him to."

"You did?" Carlos eyes widened.

"I figured he's already mad at me, so I might as well just say everything on my mind. What's he going to do, stop talking to me?"

"Damn. What else did you say?"

"A lot," Logan admitted. "I mean, he probably won't even read it and if he does it'll be the last thing I ever say to him, so...I told him to reach out to you guys. To open up to you and talk. I told him to do the same with his mom. And Jennifer, because she seems like someone who would give good advice and be there for him."

"She totally is," Carlos nodded. "He loves her like a mom. I do, too. If anything ever happened to my parents, she would adopt me."

"She's great. I met her my first day here, did I tell you that? I ate at the restaurant where she works."

"Oh dude, they have the best chicken strips there!"

"I know! I had a salad with grilled chicken; it was so good."

"Next time forget the salad part and just go for the chicken. But get it fried. And try their meatball sandwich!" Carlos' eyes rolled back in ecstasy. "Now I'm craving that place."

"I was thinking I'd take you there as a reward for doing well on the test. Maybe we can go Friday after school, since you don't have hockey practice."

"Forget that, Friday's like...forever away. If we tell Mom it's a reward for me, she'll let you take me there for dinner tomorrow night. Can I bring Kendall?"

"Of course," Logan snickered. "Can't go anywhere without Kendall, can you?"

"Shut up, it's not like that! He'd get pissed if I went without him because he loves their cheesecake. Mama Knight actually bakes that herself but she won't do it at home. She says she sees too much of it at work and gets sick of it. So he has to come or he'll get revenge by going without me sometime. Man, this is gonna be great! Should I have the chicken strips or the meatball sub?" Carlos laid down to give it more thought. "Oh, but their pasta is good, too. What if I get—"

"Wait. I just remembered, I'm supposed to have dinner at James' house tomorrow. I forgot to ask your parents if I can."

Carlos lifted a brow in question. "Even though James isn't speaking to you?"

"I know, it's a horrible idea. But Brooke isn't taking 'no' for an answer. She's demanding that I go as her guest. She even bought pie for dessert."

"Mmm, probably from the little bakery on the corner. You're so lucky."

Logan sighed in frustration. "Should I go, though? If it's just going to upset James—"

"Look, James is being a dick. No big surprise there, he has been for months. He's gonna be mad at you whether you go or not, right? At least this way you have a fighting chance to make him listen to you. And if Brooke wants you there, you have to be there; you don't want to be on her bad side. _Trust _me."

Logan was tempted to ask about the times Carlos had been there, but he let it go to focus on the matter at hand. "So you think I should go."

"I think somebody who got James crying within hours of officially meeting him has a good chance of getting through to him when nobody else will. He didn't block your number."

"Really? Do you know that or...?"

"I know him. He won't block you. He'll ignore you and try to forget about you, but he won't cut off that lifeline to you. I mean, Logan, he invited you into his house. He asked you to spend the night. Do you even know how crazy that is for James?"

Logan didn't, because as much as he wanted it to be untrue, this version of James was a mystery to him.

"I'm telling you, he won't ignore you forever. He'll try, but he likes you. His _mom_ likes you. That's almost more impossible than _him _liking you."

Logan smiled. They really were a lot alike, whether they wanted to face it or not. "What if he yells at me to leave?"

"Let Brooke handle him. See what happens. It can't get any worse, dude."

Logan wasn't too sure of that. He understood Carlos' point, though. He just had to pray that the text would work its magic to soften James up enough to let him stay for dinner.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N—Hey, guys! Just a little something to break up the monotony (if you're stuck at home like most of the world). I'm actually still working, and it's a very weird time to be out in the world. But today I'm home and relaxed and enjoying all these live streams from the BTR boys. Who knew it would take something this drastic to get them connecting with fans again?

I digress. Here's the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it. Logan's still trying to get James to forgive him, so let's see how it goes. Thanks for reading! I love you all, stay home and stay safe!

* * *

The first thing Logan did upon waking (for the thousandth time, as he'd slept poorly) was to reach for his phone with a trembling hand. He'd forbidden himself to look at it throughout the night because he knew it would just keep him awake waiting for a response that would never come.

As of Tuesday morning, it still hadn't. His message showed "Delivered" and nothing more.

He let his head fall to the pillow and closed his eyes against burning tears. His entire reason for being, for living in this time, wanted nothing to do with him. He'd never felt so hopeless and lost, not even when his mother had died.

_Roger, what do I do? I've tried, nothing works. I failed. I can't guide him toward his destiny, he's just going to remain the unmotivated, angry teen that he is now. What do I do?_

_You keep trying. You don't give up. You show up tonight at the Diamond residence with apologies at the ready and you do whatever it takes to open his heart to you. And if that doesn't work? You try again. And again. And you keep trying until you succeed, because if you don't, nothing will matter anymore. To anyone. You have to succeed, Logan._

It was as if Roger was standing above the bed lecturing him; he heard the message loud and clear and knew it was from his own mind, but it did the trick. It got him out of bed and moving into the new day with a tiny bit of hope. He would have at least three interactions with James today, and he shouldn't waste any of them.

Except that within five minutes of arriving at school with Carlos, Logan discovered that his three opportunities had been cut to one—Kendall informed them that James hadn't come in. When Kendall arrived at the Diamond home for their usual walk (which Carlos had abandoned to stay with his "brother"), Mrs. Diamond explained that James had decided to stay home because he "wasn't up to it." Perhaps in an attempt to take advantage of extra time with her son, Brooke allowed it.

"Did you talk to him at all?" Logan wondered. "Or was it just her?"

"I texted him once I left. He didn't answer. He will eventually."

Eventually wasn't good enough for Logan. As soon as he arrived in homeroom, he sent a message to Brooke. _"What's wrong with James?"_

It was a very long fifteen minutes before she replied. _ "Nothing. He's depressed. He still won't talk to me about it but we had breakfast together. It's a step."_

Logan let out a breath of relief. He wanted to believe that his text had something to do with James' new willingness to spend time with Brooke. _ "How did he seem?"_

"_I already told you, depressed. He's too quiet and he doesn't smile. I miss my son, Logan. Bring him back."_

"_What am I supposed to do? He won't even come to school."_

"_Show up tonight. Don't let me down."_

"_I'll be there. I got permission from Sylvia this morning. What's he doing now?"_

"_He's back in his room. I can hear the television when I walk by, so I'd assume that. I'm going to make his favorite meal for lunch and try to get him out of there again."_

"_Don't overdo it. You need to rest."_

"_I'm tired of resting. I'm going to make the most of the time I have left, which means spending as much time making my son happy as I can. I'll handle lunch. Dinner is on you."_

"_What does that even mean?"_

"_It means you're going to win him over. And I'm going to try to get him talking about you again."_

"_Don't make things worse. And make sure to take a nap after lunch. Dinner will be taxing for you."_

"_You know, even my doctors don't scold me as much as you do."_

"_It's because I care. I'm serious, rest when you need to."_

_"Dinner will be here at 6:45. If you're that worried about me, you can arrive then and do all the hard work like opening bags and taking boxes out of them. Do you see how ridiculous you sound?"_

"_I'll be there at 6:45. Let me know if anything changes."_

"_Yes, Dr. Mitchell. Anything you say, Dr. Mitchell. I'll try to behave, Dr. Mitchell."_

Logan shook his head, fighting a smirk. Little did she know he _was _an actual doctor. _"Dr. Mitchell thanks you. I'll see you tonight."_

"_You'd better."_

And then, just because his lifelong obsession made him wonder such things, he asked, _"What is James' favorite meal?"_

"_Don't ask me why, but his favorite thing to eat is a grilled cheese sandwich with potato chips. They have to be sour cream and onion flavored. And he insists on eating an orange with it. That is his perfect meal for some God-awful reason."_

It was so simple; Logan would've expected James to have higher standards on his food preferences. _"I'll keep that in mind, should I ever have an opportunity to cook for him again."_

"_You will, Logan. You will. 6:45. Don't be late."_

"_I won't. Take care of each other. See you tonight."_

* * *

The silver lining of James' absence was that Logan could join Carlos and Kendall for lunch. In his haste for new information on James, he managed to beat them both to the quad. As usual, Kendall showed before Carlos. "Hey," Kendall greeted before dropping to the step.

"Hey. Did James get back to you?"

"Yeah, about an hour ago. He said he didn't feel like facing the world so he stayed home. That's all I could get him to say, though. Except that his mom was making lunch so he had to go."

"Right, the grilled cheese and chips," Logan chuckled.

Kendall paused while opening his bagged lunch to stare at Logan. "How do you know that?"

"His mom told me. We were texting this morning. I wanted to make sure he was okay."

After retrieving a banana and a sandwich, Kendall licked his lips. "So you're telling me that you and Brooke...you guys like..._text_? Just to talk?"

"About James, yeah." Logan's cheeks reddened when he realized Kendall was judging him. "I worry about him, okay? Who else am I going to ask?"

"You have got it so bad," Kendall smirked. "I mean, you're text buddies with his mom."

"Hey, she's pretty cool. She actually used a rude hand gesture on me yesterday."

Kendall choked on the water he'd tipped to his mouth, then wiped the dribbles away with his sleeve. "What? Brooke Diamond flipped you off?!"

"Via text, yes. She hates it when I tell her to take care of herself and not overdo it."

"Oh my god, I can just imagine how those conversations go. You've got balls if you're telling Brooke how to do...well, anything. I have to admit, I'm impressed."

"She doesn't take it well," Logan shrugged. "But I try. So James seemed happy about lunch?"

"I don't know, he just said he had to go. Carlos told me you're going over there tonight?"

"Yeah. I wasn't sure about it, but Carlos reminded me that he can't hate me more than he does. Might as well try."

Kendall's gaze followed something behind Logan. His expression darkened as he replied absently, "I'm not sure that's true. He threatens to leave the room whenever I mention your name. Hey!" he called out more loudly. "You eating with them now or what?"

Logan twisted to look behind him. Carlos was hunkered down halfway up the steps in conversation with two blondes and a brunette that Logan thought was Denise. Which meant one of the blondes was probably Mandy. Carlos held up a finger toward Kendall while listening to something being said to him, then he nodded and spoke words that they were too far away to hear.

"I swear to God, if I lose one more friend to those bitches..." Kendall snarled. "They're not even cool or fun to hang out with! What does he see in her?"

"He just doesn't want to be alone," Logan answered. He turned his focus to food and went digging for the lunch Sylvia had packed.

"He said that? He feels like he's alone? I'm right fucking here. Literally ten feet away from him. How is that alone?"

Logan blinked. "Oh. You meant Carlos."

"Duh. Who did you think I meant?"

"James, because isn't Mandy with them?"

"I don't care about Mandy. James is gonna do what he's gonna do no matter what I say. Carlos, though...I didn't think I had to worry about him." With a pointed look at Logan he added, "At least not with a girl."

"Hey, I'm not here to take Carlos away from you. Let's just get that out of the way now. I know you feel threatened by me but—"

"What?! I don't feel threatened."

Kendall's argument was so high-pitched that Logan knew it was a lie. "Yes, you do, and trust me. I'm not into Carlos. He's not my best friend, he's yours. He's been a great brother and I'm thankful for that but I'm not here to interfere with anything. Trust me, you're still his hero. That's not going to change, Kendall."

Kendall looked away and bit his lip. "I'm not his hero," he mumbled.

"Yes, you are. I offered to take him to dinner as a reward for doing well on that test and what was the first question he asked? 'Can I bring Kendall?' You're so blind if you think he'd rather hang around with some girl than you."

"Oh? Is that why he's ignoring me for her right at this moment, Logan? Is that why he talks about her like he can't wait to date her?"

"He does that so he won't be left out!" Logan hissed. "He's terrified you're going to get a girlfriend and then he'll be the only single one and he'll lose you because of it. It's his biggest fear, Kendall! Will you just man up and tell him how you feel? At least tell him you're not interested in dating a girl."

"I can't tell him that!"

"Yes, you can. I promise, he's not going anywhere."

"He will if he thinks I'm...he might be uncomfortable if he suspects..." Kendall didn't know where to look; his wild gaze finally settled on the sandwich in his hands. "I can't take a chance of losing him."

"And I'm telling you you're not going to. Not if you're honest."

"Shut up, he's coming. Be cool."

Logan rolled his eyes. It was true that he couldn't directly interfere, but what if he just knocked their heads together? Would that do any good?

"Oh, you've decided to join us?" Kendall said in a scathing tone. "You wouldn't rather be with the cool crowd?"

"Ew, don't be an idiot." Carlos dropped down hard next to Kendall. "Mandy stopped me. She wanted to know why James isn't here."

Logan lifted a brow at Kendall. "So that's why you were talking to them, Carlos? Not because you actually wanted to?"

"Well, I mean Denise is nice. But obviously I'd rather be here with you guys. Kendall, Mom packed us strawberries today. I made her put extra in for you."

Kendall's expression softened. "Really?"

"Yeah, here you go." He tossed a baggie of fruit Kendall's way, Kendall catching it deftly and with a huge grin. "Logan, Mandy hasn't heard from James all day. Not since last night."

"Did she say anything about last night? Like why he came home early?"

"Yeah, she said he told her he wasn't feeling good last night. He just went home instead of hanging out like he usually does. And then he didn't show today, so she's worried. Kendall, what's up with him? Did he answer you?"

"Why don't you ask Logan?" Kendall smirked. "He's been texting his BFF Brooke all day."

"It was one time during first period!" Logan argued with a laugh. "Stop making me sound like a freak!"

"You talked to his mom?" Carlos asked with wide eyes. "What did she say?"

Logan shared what he knew, which wasn't much more than they did. "I'm hoping he lets me stay tonight and we talk. I'm worried about him, too."

"Should I call him? I can tell him you're not around."

"No, let him eat lunch with Brooke. They need time together."

Carlos nodded. "And he never answered your text?" Distracted, he gasped and suddenly said to Kendall, "You got string cheese?! Where's mine?"

Kendall shrugged, his green eyes not moving from the white tube in his hands. "Maybe you should go ask Denise to share hers."

"Oh my god, will you shut up about that? I know you brought one for me, don't even try to lie. Hand it over."

Kendall didn't move.

"Kendall!" Carlos held out a hand.

"Will you come over for dinner tonight? Since Logan's gonna be gone anyway?"

The invitation surprised Carlos into dropping his hand to his lap. "For real? You want me to come over?"

"I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind a quiet dinner alone. They never get that."

"I mean, I have to ask Mom, but...yeah. Of course. What's for dinner?"

"Does it matter?" Kendall wondered, finally meeting Carlos' gaze.

Carlos offered him a tiny smile. "No. It doesn't. I'll be there."

Kendall's mouth widened. With dancing eyes, he removed a second tube of string cheese from his lunch bag. "Then you can have your cheese."

"I knew you were holding out!" Carlos tore into the plastic covering in excitement, only then seeming to remember that Logan was present. "Oh! So...what were we talking about?"

Amused, Logan replied, "You asked if James ever answered my text. No, he didn't."

"I'm sorry, man. But you still have tonight. Things could change."

"I guess." They had to, and the funny part about that was if things didn't change, they wouldn't stay the same. Logan had made a mess and needed to fix it so that the future could continue on as it had the first time around. It seemed a daunting task that left him feeling exhausted just thinking about it. "What if I fail?"

Kendall kicked out a foot to nudge Logan's calf. "With Brooke on your side? You got this. Very few people get through to him. You're obviously one, and she's the other. Together there's no way he could fight you guys."

"But look at the way he acts with her. He refuses to speak to her most of the time and doesn't want anything to do with her."

"Yet he went home early last night and stayed home today to eat lunch with her."

"And breakfast," Logan pointed out. "They had breakfast together. I know he loves her, even if he pretends he doesn't and avoids being near her."

"Just like with you," Kendall smirked. "So there's hope yet, buddy. She's breaking him down slowly. You've got time."

He really didn't, though, and none of them could understand that. For the sake of every living being on Earth, Logan hoped that tonight would be a breakthrough.

* * *

For the third time since arriving in his new life, Logan stood before the gray house at 4522 Lockwood Drive. He recalled that originally he'd stared at it in awe and fear of being discovered; more recently he'd actually entered the building, and with James' hand in his. Now he was in another state of mind altogether—trepidation and anxiety that he might get only five steps into the home before being forcibly ejected by his hero. A panic attack threatened to take hold.

_Deep breaths. Deep breaths._

The sound of a car door slamming nearby snapped him out of the fugue. He turned to see a gray sedan parked against the curb and a man approaching bearing white plastic bags. "Hi, you live here?" the guy wanted to know.

All it took was for the aroma of pasta to reach Logan for him to realize who this must be. "Yes," he answered. "That's for Brooke Diamond, right?"

"Yep."

"I'll take it inside. Thanks."

"Tell her I said thank you for the generous tip! Enjoy your dinner, sir."

Logan nodded while relieving him of three bags laden down with aluminum foil containers. Did Brooke order enough for an army?

_Hope you and James are hungry, because I doubt I'll be eating any of this._

He hesitated at the front door. What if James answered his knock? What if he didn't even make it inside the house?

_At least I'll get to see him, I guess. Get a quick idea of his mental state before he screams at me to get out of here._

He needn't have worried; Brooke opened the door with a surprised smile. She'd dressed herself up in slacks and a blouse, making Logan glad he'd worn the one dress shirt Sylvia had purchased him. "Logan! I thought you were the delivery man!"

"Well, technically I am." He held up the bags. "He says thanks for the generous tip, by the way."

"Oh, I always tip well. Bring those into the kitchen, I'm going to serve up the plates there. How was school?"

Logan watched her progress with a doctor's eye as he followed her through the foyer and dining room. She seemed more energetic today than she had Saturday. "School was...school, I guess. Nothing new. How are _you_? Don't lie to me, I'll know if you are."

A roll of hazel eyes that matched James' answered the question before she patted a clear spot on the marble counter top. The kitchen was, of course, as elegant as the rest of the house seemed to be. Logan set down the bags. "I'm fine, Logan. Much better today, in fact. And I may have taken someone's advice and napped to prepare for this evening," she admitted grudgingly. "It helped."

"Good," Logan grinned. "I knew it would. How can I help with dinner?"

"You can go summon Mr. Crankypants while I dish all this up. What do you like to drink? Water, milk, tea, coffee?"

"Water's fine, but you do realize I won't be staying long enough to eat, right? As soon as he knows I'm here, he'll—oh wow, is that tortellini? With real cheese?"

"Of course it is," she laughed. "What else would it be? Fake cheese?"

_Yes. That's exactly what it is where I come from._ "Can I...before I ruin this, can I have just one bite of that? I've never eaten it with actual cheese inside."

"Seriously?" Brooke frowned. She studied him more closely. "Sylvia told me you led a sheltered life before, but even cheese was withheld from you?"

"Almost everything that tastes good was. Can I?"

She spooned some onto a plate for him. "Here, have two bites. Use it to fortify yourself for the battle ahead. He's upstairs in his room."

"Thank you." The tortellini, paired with the Alfredo sauce she'd ordered with it, was Heaven in his mouth. He savored the taste before chewing and swallowing. "This...this might be the best thing I've ever eaten in my life."

"Wait until you taste their lasagna. Where did I put that? Oh, here we go." She used a clean fork to break off a large bite for him. That was as good as she'd promised, but Logan went for the rest of the tortellini next. "Just let me finish this up and then I'll go face him." In a quieter tone, he asked, "How is he?"

"Fine," Brooke shrugged. "Had two sandwiches. Seemed to enjoy them. And the chips, of course. He hasn't been interested in talking much, but he did tell me to let him know if I needed help with anything. And..." She moved closer to whisper, "He's had his bedroom door open all afternoon. He never does that, it's always closed. He's actually been cleaning in there, Logan. I saw it with my own eyes. He's picking up his dirty laundry and taking out trash, and...I don't know what's come over him but I suspect you had something to do with it, so thank you."

"Me? I haven't spoken to him for three days. I doubt it was me." That wasn't technically true, though; James might have read the text, and Logan could only hope it was his words that had inspired the new behavior. "Did he say whether or not he'd be back at school tomorrow?"

"I haven't asked yet. I know I'm supposed to want him there but today was so nice. Maybe I can talk the school into giving him one day off a week. I'll use the cancer as an excuse, tell them I need him to drive me to the appointments or something."

"Does he have a license?" Logan wondered. He forked up the last bite of tortellini with a content sigh.

"No, but they don't know that. He needs one. I won't be around forever. I need to teach him but even driving is so—"

"I can teach him. I have a license." He hadn't used it yet, but the team had outfitted him with one just in case. "And if you need a ride to a doctor's appointment and no one else is available, just ask. I...really need a to get a car. I just realized that."

"I appreciate your offer but you have school to worry about. And apparently no car," she smirked. "Now stop stalling. Go upstairs and make nice with my son so we can all have a lovely dinner together. Maybe with you here he'll actually talk to me. About important things."

"That's the goal," Logan nodded, his stomach churning at the mere prospect of seeing James again. "That was always the goal." He took a deep breath and held it before letting it out slowly. "Wish me luck."

Brooke caught his arm before he could escape the kitchen. "Logan. You don't need luck. Just be yourself. He likes you, I saw it Saturday and I want to see more of that. He was relaxed and happy and—"

"I'm sure that had more to do with winning a playoff game than anything I—"

"Oh? Before the game even started? I know what I saw after you two got out of the car." Her shrewd gaze made Logan squirm. "Now go talk to him. Make him see reason."

"_...after you two got out of the car."_ Logan remembered that clearly; they'd almost kissed, or at the very least had been thinking about it. Brooke saw that? Had she picked up on what they were feeling? He hadn't even been aware she was watching them. He cleared his throat and moved away from her, dread spreading further with every step he took toward the staircase.

_Please let this work. I don't have time to be playing games with him. Please let him forgive me. I don't need him to love me, or even like me all that much. I just need him to trust me so that I can guide him._

* * *

Logan had no idea where James' room was. When he reached the top of the stairs he followed the sound of voices, assuming they were from a television. He'd almost reached the open door when he recognized one of those voices.

_Jean-Luc Picard, captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise._

Logan's steps faltered. James was watching "Star Trek: The New Generation." The same show Logan had introduced him to, that they'd watched three episodes of their first (and only) night together. He wasn't being forced into it; he was watching it by choice. Logan's heart soared with happiness because that meant he'd tapped into the nerdy side of James—or that James missed him. Either option was fine with Logan.

He peeked into the room as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb James just yet. The love of his life was sitting on his bed (which was made!), leaning back against a headboard of dark cherry wood. His denim-covered legs were stretched out over the comforter, feet socked. His focus was completely on the screen; Logan jumped when James suddenly laughed at something a character (Data, Logan thought) said. His hair was brushed and his room clean. Logan noted no bookshelves at all, which was a surprise. In one corner stood an exercise machine of some sort that Logan wouldn't know how to use if he tried. In another sat James' hockey gear and what was probably a stereo system. Covering the walls were posters of actors and musical artists that Logan thought he vaguely recognized. Michael Jackson he knew for sure. Under the television sat the same gaming system that Carlos had at home, along with what looked like a mountain of different games for it.

Interesting that with everything else he could be doing to pass the time, James had chosen to watch a nerdy sci-fi show. He seemed to be enjoying it, his eyes dancing with humor and anticipation as the scene unfolded.

_What I would give to be sitting on that bed with you right now, cuddled up and watching that show together. _ If a miracle happened, he might be able to do that before having to run back home. Sylvia had made him promise to return no later than ten, which left him three hours to break down James' defenses, eat a fantastic meal while moderating a heartfelt discussion about the state of Brooke's illness and what it meant for their future, and then hopefully disappear upstairs to hold James while he cried. This show would be the perfect way to cheer him up after all of that.

First he just had to get James to spend more than ten seconds in his presence. Piece of cake, right?

Logan braced himself and lifted a hand to knock gently on the door. Without looking away from the screen, James asked, "Is dinner here?"

"Yes." It came out as a whisper, so Logan cleared his throat and tried again. "Yes," he replied more firmly. He was back to shaking while his stomach revolted in dread.

"Cool, this one's almost over and then I'll—" James had sent an absent glance toward the door as he spoke, but when his words cut off he turned his entire focus on Logan. He was stunned. In the instant before the mask came down, Logan picked up shock and confusion. And yes, that was definitely terror hiding in hazel eyes that were staring back widely. That all gave way to anger and betrayal in a matter of seconds.

Logan knew what was coming. He tried to derail James' train of thought with a hesitant smile and, "You're watching 'Star Trek'?"

It worked. Sort of. James immediately reached for the remote to shut the screen off and answered, "What? No! I was just flipping channels and it was..." He recovered enough to yell, "What the fuck are you doing here? Was I not clear enough when I said that I never wanted to see you again?!"

Logan swallowed. His heart was back to that hummingbird thing where it felt like it might explode from beating too fast. "I...your mom invited me. For dinner. I thought we could talk."

The words didn't seem to compute. "My..._mom_? My _mother_ invited you here for dinner?"

"Yeah. I was worried about you and—"

"My fucking..._Mom_!" James suddenly screamed. He hopped off the bed and rushed toward the door to shove Logan aside and run downstairs. "Mom! What the fuck?! Did you actually invite this asshole over here for dinner?"

Logan closed his eyes in an attempt to calm down, then followed James. He arrived in the dining room to see James standing under the arch leading to the kitchen, where Brooke was pouring dressing onto a large bowl of salad. "I certainly did," Brooke said smoothly. "You two need to talk."

"What the...no, we don't! I told you that I don't want to talk about him ever again! That includes talking_ to _him and even seeing him! Why is that so hard to understand?"

"Because you're being ridiculous. Logan's been trying to fix things between you and all you do is—"

"He can't fix this, Mother!" Sensing him, James glanced back over his shoulder to scowl at Logan. "He's a freak! A fucking pervert! And you invited him into our home!"

"James, you know I don't appreciate you using that language with me." She continued to serenely toss the salad in the bowl. "Logan is nothing of the kind, he's a caring and generous friend who only wants to—"

"Have sex with me, Mom! I didn't want to tell you because I know you like him but that's what he wants! That's _all _he wants."

Logan's eyes fell shut in dismay. "James, no that's _not_ all I want. I told you in my text that it's better if we're just friends anyway, I would never—"

"You'll say what you have to, you'll gain my trust and use my mother's fucking death to manipulate me, and I'm not falling for it anymore. I don't need—"

Brooke calmly interrupted. "You do, James. You _do_ need him. I won't be around forever and—"

"Stop saying that! Everyone just stop saying that!" James put his hands to his ears as if that would change the situation. "I'm not listening to this shit! I'm sure as hell not having dinner with him. He goes or I go."

"James," Brooke tried, "just calm down and—"

"No! Is he leaving?"

"I'll go," Logan spoke up. "Brooke, thanks for trying but—"

"Absolutely not, you're not going anywhere. You're an invited guest in this home and I won't allow my son to treat you this way."

"Fine!" James screamed. "I'll go! Fuck you both! Enjoy your dinner!"

"No!" Logan watched James hightail it toward the staircase. "Brooke, don't let him leave. You can't let him—"

"It's his choice, Logan. I'm not going to pander to his temper tantrums. I didn't when he was five, and I'm certainly not going to start now."

"It's not about that, it's—"

They heard footsteps running hard down the stairs. James flew by with shoes on but not tied, phone in hand, and his brown leather jacket over his arm. "James, wait!" Logan yelled. "Please!"

"Don't come near me again!"

The front door slammed with a loud bang that rattled the windows. All the air left Logan's lungs. He sank into the nearest chair, laid his head on his arms, and cried.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N—Hey guys, happy...Tuesday? Yes, I think it's Tuesday. Though who knows what day it will be for you reading this. Finally got a day off from work so I'm posting a new chapter. Let me tell you, I've never appreciated time at home as much as I do now. I hope you're all staying safe and staying home because we want this to end ASAP. Love you guys! Hope you enjoy the chapter. :) Thank you for reading!

* * *

A plate was set down next to Logan's elbow. He didn't move. Ten seconds later a glass of water and a bowl overflowing with salad greens joined the plate, and this time a gentle hand settled on his heaving shoulder.

"I'm not very good at this sort of thing," Brooke admitted. "James rarely cries in front of me. In fact, I don't think he has since he was...maybe seven? Yes, he fractured his ankle and cried over that. My point is that I'm not sure how to make you feel better. I'm hoping the food will help. And if you want to talk about what you're feeling, I'll listen."

Logan lifted his head and grabbed a napkin from the holder sitting in the center of the table. He sniffled while wiping his eyes. The food did look and smell delectable, but he wasn't in the mood for it. There was nothing left he could do; James was determined to hate him.

Eventually Brooke left to grab her own dinner, returning with that and a glass of wine. The doctor in Logan wanted to warn her of the effects of mixing alcohol with whatever medication she might be on, but he thought her answer might be something along the lines of "What does it matter? I'm dying anyway."

And truly, she would have a valid point.

"You still want me to stay for dinner?" he finally asked. "Even after all that? What he said about me..." His cheeks flushed. "...you know."

"Of course. I can't eat all of this food myself, can I? I made up a plate for James, he'll eat it whenever he decides to grace me with his presence again."

"I'm sure it won't be until I'm long gone."

"His loss. Eat up, Logan. It's still warm but it won't be much longer."

Instead, Logan pushed back his chair and stood. "May I use your bathroom first?"

"First door on your left. Just past the staircase."

"Thank you."

He took his time in the small room, using it more to clean up his face and regain composure than anything else. He'd suspected James would react like that; it didn't change the fact that it hurt in a way nothing else ever had. He didn't see how he'd ever get past James' wall.

_Maybe I'm not supposed to. When I first came here, my goal was to observe. To keep him safe. I was never supposed to be his friend. That was something I wanted, so I convinced myself it had to happen. But how am I supposed to keep him safe if I can't be near him?_

Hopelessness descended, replacing the hurt. At the moment his future seemed bleak and dreary, with no chance of ever getting near James again.

_Well, good news, Logan! If you fail, you'll only have to suffer two years max without James! Then it'll all be over anyway!_

"Dammit," he muttered. He shut off the cold water he'd been using on his face. A hand towel worked to pat it dry. There was a delicious meal waiting for him. And he'd wanted time to talk to Brooke, hadn't he? Now he had it. Better to focus on the silver lining of James' absence.

Again.

Before returning to the dining room, Logan placed a call to Kendall. "Hey," he started once Kendall was on the line. "Sorry to interrupt."

"It's cool, Mom just told us dinner's in fifteen, so we've got some time. I'm assuming by the tone of your voice that it didn't go well?"

"No," Logan sighed. "Not even close. That's why I'm calling. He left here really angry and upset, so if he calls you guys..."

"Got it. We'll make sure to answer. Most likely he'll go find Mandy, though. She won't ask questions."

"I know. I'm hoping he goes to you guys instead, but...you haven't heard anything?"

"Not yet. We'll let you know if we do. Hang on, Carlos wants to talk to you."

Logan waited a beat for the phone to be passed over.

"Bro! You want me to bring you home some chicken strips? Mama Knight brought leftovers from the diner!"

"No, but thank you."

"Are you sure? They're even better without the salad, I promise!"

"I appreciate it. Brooke managed to order my favorite meal without even knowing, so I'll just eat here. You guys have fun. And we'll still go out Friday to celebrate, okay? My treat."

"You bet we will! See you later, dude. Did James forgive you?"

Logan's heart dropped into his stomach. "No."

"I'm sorry. He's stubborn. But he'll come around. It's gonna be okay, dude. I promise!"

Logan didn't see how, but he knew Carlos was trying to make him feel better. "Thanks."

"If you're cool, I'm gonna go. Bye!"

"Bye, Carlos. Let me know if you hear from James."

"Sure thing, but isn't he...oh, Kendall's giving me the knife across his throat gesture. That means I need to stop talking. I'll hear about it tonight."

"Yeah. Have a good time with Kendall."

"Always."

Logan put his phone away and slunk back to the dining room. "Sorry about that."

"No apologies necessary. Forgive me for not waiting, though."

Brooke's salad was mostly gone. "No problem." Logan took his seat and sipped at the chilled water. "I'm surprised you have an appetite. Are you doing chemotherapy yet? Radiation therapy?"

"For now it's just chemo. Makes me sick as a dog for a few days and then I'm good for a few more. Eventually I'll experience the joys of radiation, and once that happens it won't be long."

He chewed on his salad, using that to give him time to think. Since James' theories hadn't been expounded yet, chemotherapy and radiation were the most common ways to treat terminal cancer in this time. Then again, even James' theories couldn't cure those who already suffered from it. He knew that sometimes chemo and radiation worked to put cancer on a hiatus, but in Brooke's case it wouldn't; she would be dead before the year was out. Knowing that made him even sadder because he'd grown to really like the woman. "That explains why you look as healthy as you do."

"That won't last. Give it time and I'll lose my hair and my figure and..." She set down her fork.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kill your appetite."

She waved a hand. "It's not you. I just don't talk about this often. Obviously I do with my doctors, and I'm quite stoic about the whole thing in general. Sitting in my home and thinking about how alone my son will be, though..."

Logan bit his lip, wondering if he could tell her anything of the future. _No. No, you can't. Don't even think about it._ "James is going to have an incredible life. That much I guarantee."

"You can't know that, Logan. And if he continues to let my illness weigh him down like this, he'll never reach his potential. It's changed him. He's not the boy I raised, he's angry and moody all the time. I admit I wasn't home a lot before all of this, but when I did see him he smiled. He laughed. He made better choices about who to spend his time with. I don't like the direction he's going."

"I don't either." Salad devoured, Logan moved on to the plate of pasta. Brooke had loaded it up with tortellini, lasagna, and some sort of chicken served over noodles and bathed in a golden brown sauce. "Neither do Kendall and Carlos."

"That's because they're smart boys. They get into trouble here and there, but it's nothing mean-spirited or dangerous. It's just them being teenage boys." She cocked her head, a fork poised over her plate. "Somehow I don't see you that way. I think they could benefit from your company. You'd probably keep them out of trouble."

"I don't know about that," Logan chuckled. "They're pretty strong-willed."

"True," Brooke nodded. "But they look out for my boy. I'd rather James was at Jennifer's or Sylvia's than sitting home alone or out raising hell. I never minded him staying over because at least I knew he was cared for and enjoying himself there. Now...I rarely know where he is. And I hate that."

"Me, too," Logan sighed. He waited for Brooke to continue eating, then asked, "Can you um...tell me about him? Like what he was like as a kid? Was he always into hockey and acting, or was there more?"

"James? He's always wanted to go out there and be a star. Doesn't matter what genre it's in, he wants to be the best. He doesn't like to settle for anything less. I think he refused to speak to Kendall for over a month when Kendall was chosen as the captain of the team. James was determined to be that."

Logan had just tried a bite of the chicken recipe. He slowed down his chewing, absorbing the taste along with her words. "When was that?"

"Oh, early on in the friendship. I'd say they were about six maybe? James told the coach he wanted to be captain, and the coach said sure, if he proved he could handle it. Two weeks into practice Kendall was named captain and James held that against him for a long time. Kendall hadn't even been trying for captain; the coach decided he would be best."

"So...James refused to speak to him?"

"He did. He asked to quit the hockey team and wanted nothing to do with Kendall. Which was difficult, of course, because Carlos was still on the team and talked about Kendall all the time. I remember he had a 'No talking about Kendall' rule and Carlos couldn't abide by it for long."

_Some things never change, do they, James? Now it's me no one's allowed to talk about._ A second bite had Logan asking, "What is this chicken thing? It's really good."

"That's Chicken Marsala. It's a wine-based sauce. My favorite."

"You have excellent taste."

"I'm aware of that, but thank you. James prefers the lasagna. I wasn't sure what you'd like, so I went with cheese tortellini."

"You chose well," Logan smiled. "It's my favorite dish. Even better in this ti—place. This _place._"

"I'm glad you like it."

They ate in silence for another minute. "How did Kendall get James talking to him again?"

"Pardon?"

"Back then, when they were kids. How did Kendall get James to forgive him?"

"I don't think he did on his own," Brooke replied. "I remember Kendall visiting numerous times, begging James to come out and play or at least talk to him. James always refused."

"So what changed?"

"He was lonely, I think. One day he informed me that he wanted to join the hockey team again. I took him down there and he had to get the coach to agree to take him back. It wasn't hard, James has always been talented on the ice. I never asked why he wanted to go back. I think he just missed Kendall. Once Kendall stopped trying to gain forgiveness—and believe me, that took some time because Kendall doesn't know how to give up on anything—I think James realized how much he missed Kendall. And that's what it took."

Logan debated that. "So...he had to miss Kendall. Once Kendall stopped trying..."

"Exactly. If you're thinking you should stop trying, I don't agree. It's different with you, he's only known you a few days. It would be easier for him to let you go than it was with Kendall."

_Is it, though? I just caught him watching our show. I'm 99% sure he read my text and took it to heart, at least the part about you. I don't think he's having an easy time letting go of me at all._

That was his answer. He needed to back off and give James a chance to miss him.

_What if that doesn't work, though? What if Brooke is right and he's fine with walking away from you?_

Logan would tackle that problem if it proved to be the case. For now, he thought Brooke's idea that James simply got lonely would be enough. After all, he was already feeling the need to avoid his two best friends because of Logan's involvement with them. Mandy certainly wasn't going to fill that void.

_Give him time, Logan. It's not something you have a lot of, and he held out for over a month with Kendall. But it's your only option at this point; getting in his face definitely isn't working._

He felt the buzz of his phone against his thigh. Logan pulled it out and hungrily read the text message from Kendall.

"_He's here. He was going to go meet up with Mandy but we convinced him to come here instead. Promised him you wouldn't show up, so stay away."_

"He's at Kendall's," Logan shared with relief. "They talked him into going over there instead of out with her."

"Thank God," Brooke replied, her shoulders sagging. "Will he be home tonight?"

Logan asked, and Kendall answered that Jennifer would drive him back to make sure he ended up home instead of out with Mandy.

"Wonderful. I'll text him that he has dinner waiting and I'd like him to check in when he gets home. Thank you, Logan."

There were many things that Logan wanted to say to James. Instead, he restrained himself and focused on the meal with Brooke. At his request, she shared anecdotes from James' childhood and teenage years. It was like getting a peek behind the scenes of his most favorite movies or books, and Logan spent much of the time laughing as he imagined it all playing out in his head.

What was lacking was a mention of James taking an interest in anything scholarly or of a medical/scientific nature. A faint voice in the back of Logan's head screamed that something was wrong, but he ignored it. There was still time to change that.

* * *

"So, how did it go with James' mom?"

"Not bad," Logan answered honestly. He and Carlos were both in bed for the night, the light off and Logan trying to keep from worrying about the future. Or past, technically, but from his current place in time it would be the future. "We talked a lot about James."

"After he stormed out, obviously."

"Obviously," Logan chuckled. "How did it go with him?"

"Okay," Carlos replied. Logan heard the mattress squeak as Carlos turned onto his side. "I'm just glad we got him to come over there instead of hanging out with her."

"Did he eat dinner?"

"No. Mama Knight offered him food but he said he wasn't hungry."

"What else did he say?" Logan needed to hear every harsh word spoken about him.

"Mostly he just yelled a lot, at least when he first got there. He was so mad at his mom for inviting you behind his back. Kept saying things like 'I don't even feel safe at home because Mom's just gonna ambush me.' and 'Isn't it bad enough that I have to deal with him at school?'"

Logan bit his lip, trying (unsuccessfully) to not be hurt by that. "I'm sure he felt betrayed. And I told Brooke that would happen. I wanted to be wrong, but..." He sighed and closed his eyes as heaviness settled over his chest. "You said when he_ first_ got there? Then what happened?"

"He finally stopped yelling and that's when the real talk started. We went to Kendall's room after dinner, and—"

"Hold on. Are you saying that all the yelling happened outside the bedroom?"

"Yeah, in the dining room. When he showed up we were all eating dinner, so—"

"So _Jennifer _heard all of that? And...Katie?"

"Yeah. Sorry, bro. They don't know why James hates you, though. Mama Knight did ask him at one point what you did that pissed him off, and he didn't tell her. He just said something like 'It's not worth talking about.'"

Logan wasn't sure how to take that; he hoped James had refrained from sharing the truth because some tiny part of him deep down still cared and didn't want to make Logan look bad. It was probably that the truth embarrassed James, though. He moved on. "So what happened in the bedroom?"

"We finally got him to tell us how it went down, which wasn't much since he left right after you got there. And...bro, I'm so sorry. I don't know how to say this."

Logan squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to hear whatever Carlos was about to impart. "Just say it."

"He said that...well, he feels like we betrayed him, too. Me and Kendall. And that we're taking your side. Kendall said that's partly true because he's been such a dick and is overreacting about the whole thing. James started to get mad again, but Kendall told him to knock it off and just...what was it he said? 'Be a human.' So James said he's afraid of losing us because of you, and he begged us to eat lunch with him and Mandy tomorrow. I'm sorry, I feel really bad because I swore I wouldn't abandon you, but—"

Was that all? Logan could live with that. Easily. He'd been afraid of something much worse. "Carlos, it's fine."

"No, it's not. I'm your brother and I'm supposed to—"

"You don't have to babysit me. I appreciate that you care enough to try, but I'm not here to disrupt your life. Your friends come first."

"You _are _my friend."

"But so is James, and he needs you more. He's going through so much and I'd love to help him through it but right now I'm the last person he needs to be dealing with. I just cause him more stress. It's fine. Just...take care of him. Be there for him."

"Really? You're not mad?"

"Of course not. James is scared and I don't want him going through it alone."

It was a good thirty seconds before Carlos spoke again. "You really love him, don't you?"

_I do. With everything in me, with my entire heart and soul. _ "I've only known him a few days, Carlos," was what he said out loud.

"So? Love can happen fast. My dad asked my mom to marry him on their second date."

"I can see that," Logan laughed. "Your dad's so...he doesn't hold back on his feelings."

"Nope. He's the best. I never have to guess if he's mad at me or proud of me or...whatever. I always know. It's kind of cool."

"Yeah, it is," Logan agreed, thinking that Carlos shared that same quality; he was practically incapable of subtlety. "So go ahead and eat lunch with James from now on. Just make sure to keep me posted on how he's doing. Because I_ do_ care." Maybe this was how he was going to complete his mission—from afar, as he'd originally planned, and by using Carlos as his spy.

"I will. Thanks for understanding, bro. I wish we could just all be friends, the way it was Saturday. Remember when we were heading out for pizza and James still liked you and—"

"I remember," Logan interrupted abruptly. He didn't need to be reminded of better times. "But things have changed now."

"Maybe he'll get over it and we can go back to that. Kendall says he just needs time. I mean, he really did like you. It's been obvious since the first day you met him. Or...I guess the second day, technically."

"Yeah, once he got over his hangover and started treating me like a person and not some slave with no feelings," Logan mused. And hadn't there been some secret conversation about him with Carlos as well? "Hey. After he left here that day...did you guys talk about me?"

"Who? James?"

_Were we talking about anyone else? _Carlos was always entertaining. "Yes, James. He mentioned that you told him some things about me."

"Oh."

Logan waited for more—then waited...and waited. "Carlos?"

"Please don't be mad! It's so hard being stuck in the middle, and I don't want either of you to hate me!" He sounded as if he was about to cry.

"Carlos, no! It's okay! I'm not mad about it."

"Honestly?"

"Honestly. I just want to know...did he ask about me?"

"Yeah," Carlos said. "He left with Kendall and then when he got home, he started texting me."

"_Do you know that he talked about you the whole way home yesterday?" _ Logan suddenly recalled Kendall saying that. "About me?"

"Uh huh. He just had questions, you know? Like where you came from and what your life was like before. That sort of thing. I'd already told him and Kendall about your parents, before you came. So they knew that part. Though...I think James didn't really care that much. Not until he met you."

Logan nodded. It made sense; to James, he would be just another foster brother here and gone—no sense caring about or getting used to someone who would just leave in a matter of months. Kendall had seen him as a threat in more ways than one, but to James he was just...passing through.

_I'm not, James. I'm not leaving you. Not until you can stand on your own._ "So he was suddenly curious about me? Wanting to know more?"

"Yeah. And he never asks about my brothers, dude. He's nice to them but he doesn't consider them friends. You're the first he's actually cared about. That's why I think Kendall's right, and he'll forgive you eventually. Because he really likes you. He's just hurt right now, you know?"

"Right, because he thinks my motives for befriending him weren't pure." And they weren't. Logan had come here with the express intent to manipulate James and his friends if need be. He felt like a monster for it now.

"_If you ever start to feel like what you're doing is a bad thing, remember all of the good that will come out of it. Remember that you're saving the population and all future generations, giving them a chance to make the world a better place. Do what it takes to accomplish this for that reason alone."_

This time he let Roger's voice finish the thought in his head. He'd needed to hear it.

"James just doesn't trust people easily," Carlos stated. "And with you, he trusted you right away. So I guess it hurts more that you betrayed him, you know? I mean not that you did, but in his eyes—"

"I know. I understand. Brooke told me about a time years ago when James wouldn't speak to Kendall for a long time."

"Oh dude, that was horrible! I just realized, I feel the same way now! Like I'm not allowed to be friends with you because James will get mad. But I don't want to lose James, either!"

"You don't have to choose between us. I'm not going to make you do that. I'm going to do what Kendall did back then and...back off. Give James space. Let him miss me."

"That's really smart."

"Yeah? You think it'll work?"

"Well, what you're doing now isn't working, so...what do you have to lose?"

"I had the same thought earlier," Logan smiled. "Thanks, Carlos. It helps to know that you want me to succeed in this."

"Man, I just want the fighting to stop. I love you both."

His spirits now lifted a bit, Logan joked, "Just not as much as you love Kendall."

A gasp was followed by, "Oh my god, Logan, I'm gonna punch you!"

"You don't have the guts."

"Want to bet?" In three seconds Carlos had pinned Logan to the bed as a wrestler would to the mat. "Take it back!"

"No! It's true!" Was he actually laughing? He was, and it felt good.

"Shut up, dude! You're such a jerk!"

"Carlos loves Kendaaaaaaaall," he sang, not even recognizing this side of himself; had he ever been a kid?

"Oh yeah? Well how about...Logan loves Jaaaaames."

"Guilty. I can admit it, bro. When will you?"

The fight went out of Carlos. He collapsed next to Logan. "I hate it. I don't want to love him."

"I still think you should tell him."

"No way."

"How does he feel about having lunch with James and Mandy? I'm assuming Denise will be there?"

"Probably Mindy, too. She's like a wannabe Mandy."

"That's somehow worse."

"Right?" Carlos shifted up onto his elbows. "Kendall said it was fine."

"Is it, though?"

"Doubt it. He hates Mandy. And Mindy."

"What about Denise?"

"He hates her most, which is weird because she's so nice!"

"Hmm. Wonder what reason he could possibly have to hate Denise," Logan hinted.

"I don't know, because she's not like the other two. She's honestly cool. If I have to date someone, she's a good choice. And she likes me."

"You know who's a better choice? Kendall."

"Fuck you!" Carlos yelled before punching Logan on the arm. "You're such a jerk!"

Light spilled in from the hall. "Boys! What is going on in here?"

"Logan's being a jerk!"

"I kind of was," he admitted, finding the situation hilarious. He was a college professor being scolded by his "mother" for cutting up after bedtime. What had his life become? "I was purposely provoking Carlos."

"Well, knock it off. Both of you. It's late and you need to sleep."

"Sorry," they intoned at the same time. Carlos dragged himself to his own bed and climbed in.

"We'll go to sleep now," Logan promised. "Carlos? I'm sorry I kept needling you. But my point stands and you know it's true."

"Dude, stop talking. Just...go to sleep."

"Goodnight, Sylvia. Sorry for the commotion."

Logan could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't truly annoyed. "Goodnight, boys. Sleep well."

"Night, Ma! Can we have pancakes for breakfast?"

"Absolutely not, it's a school day."

"But we did last Friday!"

"That was Logan's first breakfast with us. It was a treat."

"Man, no fair! I never get anything just because _I _want it."

"Right, because we didn't just have a special dinner from your favorite Chinese food place last night."

Carlos groaned. "Fine."

"No pancakes tomorrow. Sorry."

"Whatever. Night."

"Night, Carlitos. Don't oversleep or you'll miss waffles." She winked at Logan before closing the door.

"Waffles!" Carlos sat straight up in bed. "Did you hear that? She said it, right? I heard waffles!"

"You heard waffles," Logan confirmed with a laugh. "But if we don't get to sleep soon, we'll lose those privileges."

"Night, Logan!"

Now it was a race to see who could fall asleep faster. Logan was almost there when Carlos asked softly, "Is your arm okay?"

"It hurts," Logan admitted. "I'll have a bruise. It'll heal, though."

"Okay. Just checking on you because I know you're a wimp and you're not used to that sort of thing."

"Thanks, I guess? I'm fine. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, bro."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N—We've made it through another week! Here's hoping all of you are safe and healthy. Thank you for reading this, and I hope it brightens your day a little. :)

Also, a reminder that email alerts still aren't working for FF, so make sure to check your inbox at the site for my replies to your reviews (and whatever else people are saying to you :P).

* * *

Carlos walked with Logan to school Wednesday morning, but once they arrived they parted ways and Logan was fine with that. As directed, Carlos checked in with him via text during homeroom.

"_He seems ok 2day. Looks tired. But he was happy I was there!"_

Well, at least someone could still make James happy.

Logan was positive that this would be the day James discovered they shared biology class, and then everything would go to hell again. He spent most of the period tense and rigid, just waiting for James to look around and spot him. Instead, James was back to brooding and not paying attention to anything; it was clear he wanted to be elsewhere, probably a bed where he could hide under the covers and block out the world. Logan ached to hold him, to reassure him, to do _something_ so that gorgeous smile would appear.

He did none of those things. He sat in the room and half-listened to Mrs. Simmons while shifting the other half of his focus to James.

When the bell rang, James shot out of the room before anyone could approach or hail him. Lunch with the other two Amigos was waiting.

Logan skirted the quad in a roundabout way to reach the library, not wanting to set James off by his mere existence, but he did peek over along the way. James was seated next to Mandy on the grass, both of them leaning back against the step above. Carlos seemed to be in earnest conversation with Denise, who laughed at something (no doubt silly) that Carlos said. Kendall was discussing something with James, and it was nice to see James smiling and interacting for a change. As Logan watched, the girl he assumed to be Mindy attempted to join their discussion while placing a hand on Kendall's shoulder to get his attention. Kendall glanced at her briefly before subtly freeing himself from her grip and speaking to James.

_Don't even bother, Mindy,_ Logan smirked. _That's never gonna happen._

Just before he disappeared into the library, Logan twisted back for one more look at the group. Or, if he was honest with himself, at James—who, shockingly, was staring right at him. Logan stopped dead with the door wide open, entranced by the hazel eyes drinking him in but giving no clue as to what was going on behind them. He tried a hesitant smile. In response, James looked away before dragging Mandy closer for a kiss. It was nothing more than chaste; it still kicked Logan in the gut. Point made, he turned away and entered the quiet of the library.

Day two of hiding himself in a corner to sulk commenced.

* * *

Carlos caught him up on James' well-being after hockey practice. He grabbed a snack first (apple slices again to his dismay) and then imparted, "He was better today. Seemed like his old self, mostly. It's so good to have him back!"

During a text conversation before bed that night, Brooke shared the same sentiment and added, _"He still won't discuss the cancer, but he ate dinner with me and then we watched a movie together. One of his favorites from childhood. I haven't heard him laugh that much in years. Did you work your magic on him today?"_

Logan wished. _ "No, we didn't speak at all. Barely saw each other. What's he doing now?"_

"_Homework, I hope. If not, he's in his room working out or watching television. He's home, and that's all I care about."_

"_Good. I'm really glad to hear that. Carlos said he was in better spirits today, too. And how are you?"_

"_I'm fine."_

Logan rolled his eyes. Typical Diamond response, which meant he would have to dig deeper. _"When is your next doctor appointment?"_

"_I went today. More chemo, which means that by morning I'll be weak and sick. It's just part of the process, Logan. Stop worrying about me."_

"_I can't help it. Call me if there's anything I can bring you. You're on my way home from school, you know."_

"_I'm well aware. Will I be seeing you Saturday?"_

"_At the hockey game? I'll be there. Do you need me to drive you?"_

_"I should be fine by then. But I meant for James' birthday party. You'll be here, right?"_

Logan read the message three times because it didn't make sense. What part of "James doesn't want me anywhere near him" did Brooke not understand? _"I will not be there. It's his party and I won't ruin that."_

"_Logan, don't be ridiculous. We both know he wants you here."_

"_Were you not there last night? Don't you remember him storming out and that whole plan of giving him space so he'll miss me?"_

"_By Saturday he will. Keep your distance the next two days, and then when he sees you Saturday at the game he'll be happy about it."_

"_With Kendall it took over a month."_

"_You're not Kendall. He's not a little boy anymore. Trust me, Logan. He'll be glad to see you."_

It was no use arguing with her. Logan gave up on that. _"Will you be at the game?"_

"_I wouldn't miss it. Save me a seat up front."_

"_I will. And keep me posted about James. Let me know if things get bad again. That goes for you too, by the way."_

"_Yes, Dr. Mitchell. I'm going to go soak in a hot bath before bed. Goodnight. You let me know the same thing. If things get bad with James at school or anywhere else, I expect you to tell me."_

"_Understood. Goodnight."_

With a sigh Logan set his phone on the nightstand, randomly wondering what it felt like to soak in a hot bath. If showers were that amazing, he could only imagine that sinking into a tub of water would be even more relaxing.

_Enjoy it while you can, people. One day that's going to be a crime._

He made a vow to indulge himself the following evening and give it a try. Might as well enjoy the perks of living in the past, right?

* * *

Though Logan put no faith in Brooke's certainty that James would miss him by Saturday, he agreed that avoiding James until then was a good idea. Between Carlos and Brooke, he could still keep tabs on James from a distance.

When Carlos texted him in homeroom Thursday morning, Logan realized half of that plan wasn't going to work.

"_James stayed home 2day. He just texted us back & said hes not coming in 2day or 2morrow."_

Logan wanted to bash his head against the wooden desk he was squeezed into. What was wrong with James_ now_?

"_Why not?"_

"_Dont know yet, he hasnt answered. But well c u at lunch & have an answer by then. I hope."_

Logan shook his head. Time to get the full story from Brooke.

"_He said he wasn't feeling well. I told him he could stay home today but that he has to go tomorrow. He's missing too much school."_

That didn't match up to what Carlos said. Perhaps James hadn't asked his mother about the following day yet. _ "Did he say what's wrong?"_

"_Just a stomachache and a headache. I know he's faking it because when I asked if he wants breakfast, he said yes. And then asked for his favorite meal again for lunch."_

Logan frowned. He would've expected James to hide away in bed all day. _"Are you up to all that? Has the chemotherapy made you sick yet?"_

"_I'm ordering breakfast in and we're going to watch another movie together. I'll nap after and I should be able to handle making sandwiches and opening a bag of chips."_

"_Don't forget the orange."_

"_He wouldn't let me. He's coming down now, so I'll talk to you later."_

That didn't really merit a response. Logan set his phone on the desk and wondered what was actually going through James' mind. Was James just trying to avoid him? Or was there more to his desire to stay home? He'd gone from never wanting to be home with his mother to purposely spending time with her.

Maybe the text had done more good than Logan imagined. Maybe James was finally starting to accept that his days with Brooke were numbered and she needed him to get through this.

By lunch James had texted Carlos and Kendall that he'd wanted to be home. No reason given.

"I guess it's better than him ditching school and getting wasted?" Kendall reasoned. "At least we know where he is and that he's safe."

Logan agreed with that. Talk turned to less serious subjects, Logan not following half of it but happy to be part of them again. And who knew he'd enjoy that so much, just having friends?

"Kendall?"

They all looked up when a shadow fell over them. Mandy, in her usual outfit of tight top and short skirt, was pointedly ignoring Logan.

"Where's James? He's not answering my texts or calls, since like...yesterday."

"He's sick," Carlos volunteered. "He's not coming in tomorrow, either."

"What?! Why wouldn't he tell me that?"

Kendall shrugged. His gaze stayed on the banana he was peeling.

"Do you guys want to come eat with us? Carlos and Kendall, I mean."

_Of course, because I'm a freak and she wouldn't want me anywhere near her._ Logan smirked at the way she'd blatantly left him out. "Go ahead, guys. I'm good."

"So are we," Kendall stated. He finally gave Mandy his attention, tipping his head back to look up at her. "Thanks, but I'm comfortable."

"Mindy and Denise really want you there."

A glance at Carlos showed that even the offer of Denise wasn't tempting. It made sense, though; Carlos would go (or stay, in this case) where Kendall did. He smiled and said, "Maybe next time. I'll let him know you're worried about him."

Logan had to admire Carlos' stab at trying to be polite. And why wasn't Mandy leaving yet?

"Kendall...can I talk to you? It's important." The way her blue eyes shifted to Logan told him exactly what she wanted to discuss.

Kendall didn't miss it, either. He shot Logan a long-suffering expression and stood to follow her when she moved far enough away to converse with Kendall quietly.

"You sure you don't want to go sit with Denise?" Logan said to Carlos. He already knew the answer.

"Nah. She's cool and all but...you know."

"Yeah," Logan grinned. "I know."

"Dude, don't even start. Not here."

Logan mimed zipping his lips and throwing away a key. It was too much fun to tease Carlos about his crush on Kendall.

Carlos was the first to ask once Kendall rejoined them—blessedly alone. "What did she want?"

"To warn us. She thought maybe we hadn't heard the reason behind James' hatred of Logan."

Logan nodded. "Because obviously if you had, you'd never want to be near me."

"Pretty much," Kendall agreed.

Carlos questioned, "What did you say?"

"That we knew exactly what happened between them and it didn't bother us because we know Logan's not a pervert."

Touched, Logan replied, "Thanks, Kendall. It means a lot that you defended me."

"Well, you can't help who you're attracted to. And there's nothing wrong with being attracted to a dude."

Carlos choked on the apple he'd taken a chunk out of, then coughed hard. "You okay?" Kendall asked in concern.

It took Carlos some time to swallow and clear his throat with water. "You mean that?"

"Mean what?"

"What you said? That's it's okay to...you know. To like a dude?"

Kendall shrugged as heat swam into his cheeks. "I mean, I'm not gonna judge someone for who they date. Except maybe James," he added with a grin, probably in an attempt to distract from the admission he'd let slip out. "He's got no taste."

One of Logan's brows hiked up. "I'm going to assume you're referring to Mandy and not taking a jab at me."

"Uhhhh...sure." When Logan opened his mouth to fight back, Kendall laughed. "Dude, _of course_ I'm talking about Mandy. I'm not sure what exactly he's feeling for you, but if it _was _that? It's fine."

Carlos was listening closely to every word. "So you'd be cool with James dating a guy?"

"Yeah, if that's what he wanted. As long as he's happy, you know? I just want my friends to be happy."

Logan stared hard at Carlos. "Even if it's dating another guy," he pressed. "Kendall's cool with it."

Kendall suddenly asked, "Wait, would _you_ have a problem with it? One of your friends being into dudes?"

"What? Me?" Carlos' eyes went wide. "No! No, that's totally fine! I'd be happy. I mean...not _happy_. But not _un_happy. Just...it would be fine. My friends are my friends no matter what. That's all I'm trying to say." Carlos' rushed rambling indicated there was much more he wanted to say but didn't dare.

"Good." Kendall nodded. "I'm glad we're on the same page. I'd hate to see us all break up for something stupid like that. So it's agreed? Even if Logan likes guys or...if I do. Or if James does, by some miracle...we're still friends?"

"Hell yeah, we are. The Three Amigos don't let anything break them up. Right?"

Kendall smiled sweetly, green eyes warm as they stared back at Carlos. "Right. Not even a girl. _Or_ a guy."

"Exactly."

Logan spent the time left during lunch trying not to blurt out the obvious and tell them to just kiss already. They'd get there, in their own time.

_Must be nice._

* * *

Logan kept his word and refrained from contacting James in any way over the next day and a half. It was torture, as he still wasn't convinced Mandy was who she claimed to be and could harm James at any moment, but the most he could do was rely on reports from Brooke. In a series of text conversations detailing their time together, Brooke reassured him that her son was safe and seemed to be enjoying the time spent at home.

"_I still think you had something to do with this,"_ she confided at one point. _"So whatever you said before it all blew up, thank you."_

He would love to believe his text had spurred James into the change of heart. Perhaps it had, and even if James was no longer speaking to him, some good had come out of their too-brief friendship. It helped to know that.

True to his word, James stayed home again Friday. Brooke had argued with him over this one and lost.

"_He cried, Logan. He actually cried. I'm starting to think there's more going on that he's not sharing with me. I wish you were here, you could get him talking."_

But he couldn't. He couldn't even get James to listen, let alone talk. He was more tempted than ever to try again, and had half a text composed when he remembered that he was sticking to the plan. James had to miss him, to _need_ him and make the first move.

The text was erased. Logan returned to the conversation with Brooke. _"Why did he cry?"_

"_Because I was forcing him to go and he said he didn't want to leave. He begged me for just one more day and promised he'd go back Monday. When the tears started, I couldn't do it. He's never been one to use tears against me, he thinks it makes him look weak. When he did that...I just couldn't do it."_

"_I understand. Are you getting anywhere with the talking? Maybe you can use the tears to get that going."_

"_I'll try after lunch. I skipped breakfast but promised him lunch, so we'll see how that goes."_

"_You shouldn't be skipping meals. You need your strength."_

"_When you go through chemo and feel nauseous 24/7, then you can lecture me about eating. But until then, mind your own business."_

Every day Logan heard more of James in her, or rather how much James had picked up pieces of her personality. _"Just make sure you eat lunch. And don't lie to me when I ask about it later."_

"_Oh, he's calling for me. Bye for now."_

Whether James was or it was just an excuse to get Logan off her case, he didn't know; he let her go anyway and returned to the moment in homeroom. Another long, boring day of school without James.

He almost laughed when he realized he considered school "long" and "boring." Who had he become?

Brooke got nowhere with James regarding his feelings or her imminent death. He seemed to want to spend time with her as long as the discussions between them remained light and frivolous. It was classic denial and avoidance. It made Logan crazy, because until James faced the reality of his mother's future, he wouldn't be receptive to learning about how the cancer worked and how to prevent it.

The Garcia household was loud and full of energy Saturday morning. Everyone wanted the hockey team to make it to the state championship, and today's game would decide that outcome. Logan found it amusing that even Sylvia was hyped up, shaping their pancakes into hockey sticks (and "pucks", which were basically tiny pancakes in their regular shape).

"Carlos, eat your banana!" she commanded when he asked for seconds. "You need something healthy with all the syrup you're drowning your food in. Sugar only keeps you going for a short time."

"I'll be fine, Ma! Papi, can you grab me another pancake while you're up?"

"Anything for my star player!"

Though Sylvia rolled her eyes, she didn't argue. In truth, her excitement was outweighing the strict parent in her.

Logan smiled along with them all; inside, he was a cauldron of boiling nerves. It would be his first time laying eyes on James since that staredown between them Wednesday. Every time he remembered that, his brain shoved the vision of James kissing Mandy to the forefront and he wanted to scream. Wasn't it bad enough that he'd had to witness it? Did he really need to relive it over and over?

He didn't know why this one bothered him so much. He'd seen much more between them at Jenny's party and that hadn't stuck with him the way this did. That hadn't punctured his heart every time he remembered it.

_James wasn't yours yet,_ his mind whispered. _You hadn't held him or been on the receiving end of that smile. His eyes hadn't indicated that he was feeling things for you._

The kiss Wednesday had been purposely directed at him. Logan had zero doubt about that. It was James' way of showing Logan that he'd made his choice and it would never be Logan.

And that was why it hurt so damn bad. Because James had basically closed that door forever and then rubbed his face in it.

_Whatever. I'm not here to win you over that way. I'm here to save your life. I don't need your love in order to do that. I just need you to let me get near you long enough to open your mind._

That was Logan's goal today. Carlos, Kendall, James...their goals would be on the ice. For him, it was only one opponent he was facing and he'd have to use every piece of information he'd learned about James—both before and after meeting him.

_Something_ in his arsenal had to do the trick. The hard part would be figuring out which tool best worked to pry open the vault that was James Diamond.

* * *

Carlos ran into the rink ahead of them, dragging his gear and uniform with him. Logan hung back with the parents, his stomach cramping and his chest pressing down on itself so that he could hardly draw a deep breath.

They passed Brooke's parked car along the way and the feelings intensified.

_Breathe. Don't pass out before you even get inside the building. Breathe, Logan. You have a job to do. And even if you get nowhere on that angle today, you get to watch James play hockey for two hours. _

Few things were more beautiful than that. It eased some of his tension.

Could he force himself into their pizza ritual after the game? Would James insist he stay away, or would Carlos demand that James stop acting like an ass and allow his brother to join them? Today, Logan wouldn't take the high road and offer to leave. He needed an opportunity to get close to James.

They were greeted by the sounds and scents that were familiar to Logan now—pucks being knocked around, skates cutting through solid ice, a general smell that was somewhere between sweat and the euphoria of victory.

Logan's gaze slid toward the ice. There was Carlos suiting up, his excitement and anticipation palpable from the stands. Kendall was already on the ice, of course, and had been long enough that his bangs were plastered to his forehead. He grinned when he caught sight of Carlos, then whooped a greeting. After that, Carlos put on a burst of speed in order to get out there faster.

But where was James? Logan knew he was here, he'd seen the car outside. He studied each player moving around, looking for that slim but tall and graceful body. James was nowhere, why wasn't he—

Oh. Because he was leaning against the boards talking to his mother. As they neared, Logan heard a laugh that made his heart dance. James' head had fallen back with it, and Logan was entranced by the way his throat worked. When he looked at Brooke again, he was smiling and his eyes were bright and—

_I love you. Holy God, I love you, I don't care if you never feel the same way, just keep sharing that smile with the world because we need it. I swear that smile alone could bring about world peace._

"Logan!" Brooke patted the bench next to her. "I saved you a spot, come join me!"

Logan glanced back at James just in time to lock eyes with him. As usual, the gate came down to block emotion and James spun away to skate back toward his teammates. Logan sighed.

"Now, none of that. Did you expect him to magically be your friend overnight?"

No, but it would've been nice. Logan offered Brooke a wan smile before settling in next to her. "How is he today?"

"Good. I don't know if you saw that, but he was actually laughing with me before—"

"Yeah. I saw. Then I showed up and ruined everything."

"Nonsense. It's good to see you again." She surprised him by hugging him with one arm, then she turned to greet the Garcias. Logan noted that Jennifer was on Brooke's other side, her focus on the practice going on in front of them.

"That's right, Kendall!" she suddenly yelled. "Just like that!"

A hand fell on his shoulder. "Hey. How did that study session go?"

"Hi!" He didn't know why he was surprised to see Katie, but for some reason her presence made him feel better. "It was good, actually. You're right, though, they're difficult to work with when they aren't focused."

"Told ya," Katie grinned. Her hair was unfettered today and fell past her shoulders. "But Kendall did good on his math test, so thanks."

"Does he not usually?"

Katie shrugged and replied, "I think it's more that he doesn't really try. He's not stupid or anything. He tried this time and did well. I heard Carlos passed his test, too."

"He did. C+, which for him is an improvement. I'm hoping to get him up to at least B's."

"That's awesome. Kendall said it was actually fun the way you do it. That you guys played a game?"

"Something like that. I'm glad he enjoyed it. He and Carlos are extremely competitive, so once they started looking at it like a challenge..."

"Yeah, that would help."

"Logan! Hi, I didn't even see you!"

Jennifer was moving around Brooke to drag him in for a hug, and Logan was so relieved he actually felt tears burn his eyes. He hadn't realized how scared he was that Jennifer and Katie would hate him because James did.

"How are you, sweetie?"

"I'm..." _Horrible. The world is going to end and it's all my fault because I can't figure out how to get James to forgive me._ "Okay. I'm okay. It's good to see you."

"You, too! Thanks for helping Kendall with math! He's doing so much better in that class!"

She was still hugging him and Logan was in no hurry to make that stop, but he was afraid if he didn't he would just hang onto her like this until the end of time. And probably cry the entire time, too. So he extricated himself from the hug and smiled. "I'm glad. I think Kendall wanted to stay over tonight after James' party, so if he does we can do some more studying tomorrow."

"I'm all for that," she laughed. "Will you be there?"

"At the party?"

"Yeah."

"Will you?"

"I'll probably hang out for a little while. James invited Katie, too, so I'll stay long enough to get her home. I um..." Jennifer ducked her blue eyes down at the floor. "I know you and James aren't getting along right now, so I wasn't sure if—"

"I'm hoping to fix that problem before tonight. If not...then no, I won't be there."

Her face fell. "I'm sorry. He did this to Kendall once too, he was so angry for about six weeks and didn't want anything to do with him and—"

"I know. He's stubborn." The ghost of a smile twitched at Logan's lips. "Very much like his mother."

"Oh, don't even get me started," she chuckled. "Brooke looks good. Tired, of course, and she's getting too thin, but...she seems happy today."

"She is. Hopefully I'll see you again tonight, but if I don't, maybe I'll stop into Good Eats after school Monday. We went yesterday after school and you weren't there; Kendall said you'd left early."

"Yes, Katie had a dental appointment. I'll definitely be there Monday, so stop in!"

He would. No matter what, he would, because this woman made him feel like everything just might work out. "I will."

"Oh, I haven't even said hi to Syl yet! I missed you all coming in."

"Go on," he smiled. "I'll be around."

She squeezed his shoulder before moving on. Rather than take his seat next to Brooke, Logan went one tier up and settled in behind her so that Katie was at his right. "So you're going to James' party?"

"Yeah. I didn't think he'd want me there, figured he'd just invite the cool high school kids, you know? But he texted me last night and said to come."

"Last night?" Logan echoed.

"Uh huh. Is he still mad at you?"

Logan gave her a nod, not trusting himself to speak.

"That sucks. He was like...raging when he came over the other night. Said his mom went behind his back and invited you over?"

"Right. I tried to tell her it wouldn't go well, but..." He shrugged. "She doesn't listen."

"Neither does James," Katie pointed out. "Makes it hard to be his friend." Katie let that dangle between them for a minute, then said, "I miss him."

Logan blinked. "Isn't he there all the time? At your place?"

"He used to be. And he is still sometimes, but...he's different now. He's just sad all the time."

_Except when I got him to laugh and smile. What a great two days that was._ "Well, he's going through a lot."

"I know. I'm sure it's hard, the whole thing with his mom and stuff. But if he would talk to us about it, maybe it would be a little easier."

"Agreed. Have you tried?"

"Yeah, he just tells me to shut up, that I don't know what I'm talking about."

"Rude."

She waved a hand. "I'm used to that, he doesn't mean it. But usually even when he won't talk about stuff, he'll listen. He pretends like he doesn't care, but I know he's listening to what I'm saying and it makes a difference. This time? He just shuts me up and doesn't let me talk about it. I heard Kendall trying to talk to him about you the other day and it was the same thing—he threatened to leave if Kendall didn't shut up about you. He can be such a jerk sometimes."

"Yes, he can," Logan sighed. He recalled the way James had spoken to him when he was hungover; "jerk" didn't even begin to cut it. "But deep down, he's hurting. You know that, right?"

"He's stupid about it. We're all right here and we just want to help. Why won't he let us?"

Logan shook his head. "Because he learned to depend on himself at a young age, that's my guess." His eyes followed James around the ice. "He's afraid people are going to hurt him."

"Okay, but we're family. Does he really think _we're _the ones he has to watch out for?"

_Yes. Because you're the ones who have the power to hurt him the most. _"I'll work on him. Just have to make him talk to me first."

"Yeah, good luck with that. Getting Carlos to pass a test is small potatoes compared to getting James to forgive you."

Logan's brows drew together. "Small potatoes?"

"Yeah. You know, like...no big deal. Have you really never heard that?"

"I...haven't. I didn't get out much before I moved here."

"No duh," Katie teased. "But it's cool, cause you're family now, too. We'll teach you the ropes."

And here came that feeling again, the same one that had made Logan want to cry when Jennifer hugged him. It was both scary in its newness and welcome in its ability to make him feel safe.

_Family_, Katie had said. It had been him and his mom for as long as he could remember, and he'd loved her dearly. This had been missing, though—the feeling that others cared about him and would fight for his happiness. He was only now realizing just how much he'd missed out on with a mother who met his needs materialistically but had been perhaps stunted emotionally when her husband died.

"Thanks," Logan said now. "I'm uh...I'm really glad I came here."

And for once, that sentiment had nothing to do with James.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N—And we've made it through another week! Here's hoping everyone is still safe and healthy out there. I know it's a lot to deal with (mentally more than anything else), but hopefully this provides a temporary escape from the world. I know reading and writing always does for me. Enjoy!

* * *

James played even harder than he had the previous Saturday. It was no wonder he'd end up earning the trophy for MVP this season, as he was unstoppable on the ice. At one point he seemed to visibly search Logan out in the stands before whacking the puck hard, and Logan thought he knew what James was thinking.

"_Imagine that puck is the cancer, and it's ruining your life. Unleash your anger. Release it."_

They were his words and now they were being used against him. No doubt he'd taken the place of cancer in James' mind, at least for today. It was disheartening.

But he played better than he ever had before according to Jennifer and Brooke, and Logan couldn't help but be proud. He cheered with the crowd when James scored six goals, beating Kendall's previous record of five in one game. Kendall cheered right along with the rest.

Still, it wasn't enough for the win. The game was a close one but by the time the last buzzer sounded, their team was down by two and therefore out of the running for the state championship. Though everyone was disappointed, they had to admit the other team played fair and deserved the win. The mood was buoyant among the families as they waited for the boys to finish up in the locker room and join them.

Logan caught a flash of blonde in his peripheral vision and his heart sank. Mandy was hovering nearby with her cohorts, obviously waiting for the same thing. There went any hope of James joining them for pizza.

For the first time it occurred to Logan how strange it was that she never interacted with Brooke at these events. Clearly Brooke couldn't stand the girl, and perhaps Mandy knew that, but it still seemed odd that she made no effort to even acknowledge the mother of her boyfriend—especially since she seemed so determined to keep up on James' whereabouts and well-being. The idea that she had ulterior motives returned, bringing along with it suspicion of Mandy as a possible suspect for the enemy.

Carlos was first to rush out from the locker room. Logan would have expected him to be down after the loss; instead, he ran at his parents and yelled, "Did you see how many times I blocked that puck? I think that's a new record!"

Papi caught him up and hugged him hard. "You were incredible out there, son!"

"I mean, I know I didn't stop all of them and we still lost because of it, but—"

Sylvia interrupted while dragging Carlos away and into her own embrace. "Don't you even say that, it's not your fault. You were on fire, Carlitos. I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks!" Carlos pushed away from her. "Logan! Did you have fun?"

Other than the moments where Logan was sure James was imagining shooting his head across the ice? "Actually, I did," Logan smiled. "You really were great today." He started to high five Carlos, but Carlos changed that to a bear hug and lifted Logan off his feet. He laughed at the gesture before catching hazel eyes watching them as James approached slowly; the steel in them was enough to kill Logan's amusement and he sighed as Carlos set him down.

Mandy intercepted James first. James stopped to converse with her while Denise and Mindy glanced around in opposite directions—Denise looking for Carlos most likely, and Mindy for Kendall. Logan would've found Mindy's futile attempt at bagging Kendall sad if he wasn't in a similar situation with James.

"I think Denise is waiting for you," Logan said quietly to Carlos. "Guess we aren't doing pizza today."

Carlos shook his head. "Today's the banquet since we lost. No pizza anyway."

"Banquet?"

"Yeah, at the end of the season we always have an awards banquet! We get Sizzler today! All you can eat, it's my favorite time of the year!"

It figured that Carlos would enjoy an all-you-can-eat buffet more than Christmas. "So...do you think the girls will come to that?"

"Not unless someone invites them. And I mean, Denise is nice and all, but this is hockey. I just want my family there."

Logan nodded. "Well, she's looking over here at you, so you should at least go say hi and thank her for coming."

"Yeah yeah. Don't let Kendall leave without me! I want to ride over to Sizzler with them."

"You got it."

A hand settled on Logan's shoulder as soon as Carlos moved away. "I'm saving you a seat next to us at Sizzler," Brooke informed him.

Logan spun around. "Brooke, you know that's a bad idea. Why are you determined to make him angry? He probably won't even stay once he sees me there."

"Oh, he'll stay. James won't leave an awards ceremony. And after the way he's played the last two games, they'd better be giving him something. He was the best out there today."

"He'll get something," Logan grinned. "I have a good feeling about it." He really _was_ going to witness James receiving that MVP trophy. Today might be the best day of Logan's life. "Are there tables at this thing, or...?"

"There's always one huge table in the center of the room, and booths spread around the perimeter. I'm leaving now to save us all seats at the big table. I'll make sure to seat the Garcias on the other side of you, so it isn't obvious that I'm trying to bring you and James together."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Your son is not stupid, no matter how much he doubts that himself. And what if he invites _her_?"

They both turned to glare at Mandy, who was now holding James' hand and chattering away about...well, they didn't care. In fact, James' eyes had glossed over as well, showing his own lack of interest. "Why is he even with her?" Logan questioned, though James himself had told him the answer. "He doesn't like her."

"I have my theories about that," Brooke sighed. "But he won't invite her today. Which works well for my plan, which is to seat you two next to each other."

"What?! Brooke, no, at least put yourself between us. Then it makes sense. He'll refuse to sit next to me and just trade seats with someone."

"It's perfect, Logan. He misses you but won't allow himself to be near you. This way he has no choice, which is only going to make him miss you more; you'll be right there and it's going to kill him that he can't talk to you."

Logan shook his head. "You're wrong. It's just going to make him more angry. He's supposed to miss me, remember?"

"You're not listening. What better way to make him miss you than to put you right in his face where he can't ignore you?"

James was doing a good job of that at the moment; Logan sensed that he wanted to come share his victory with Brooke, yet was holding back because of Logan's presence. "I'm going to let you go talk to him."

"I'll see you at Sizzler. Who's the girl talking to Carlos?"

"That's Denise. She's a friend of Mandy's. Trying to date Carlos, I think."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "These girls never learn, do they? And before I forget, don't even think about skipping the party tonight. I put a lot of work into it."

Logan didn't bother replying to that. Once left alone, he returned to his family. Kendall was in the midst of the Garcias and the Knights, reliving the game play by play it seemed with Jennifer and Papi while Katie stood by.

"This might go on awhile," Katie whispered to him. "I'm hungry. Don't they know we've got all-you-can-eat chocolate mousse and tacos waiting? I swear they do this every year."

"Let Kendall have his moment," Logan smiled. "I'm surprised Carlos isn't over here joining in."

"He usually is, but apparently he's finally discovered girls."

Logan snorted at that. If she only knew. "Have you met any of them yet?"

"_Those_ girls? Nope. And that's fine with me. When Kendall starts dating, he'd better pick someone cool. Girls like that annoy me."

Logan's lip curved up. "Between you and me, they annoy me, too."

"That's because you're smart." She suddenly yelled, "Hey guys! Can we talk about this at Sizzler? I look forward to this all year."

The enthusiastic conversation broke up before everyone laughed. By the time they'd made it to the parking lot, there was no sign of James or Brooke. For a moment Logan feared James might've taken off with the girls, but then he spotted them walking toward the familiar pink convertible and let out a breath of relief. At least he wouldn't have to deal with that during the ceremony.

Now he just had to figure out how to not make things worse with James.

* * *

James was already seated at the table when Logan arrived with Sylvia and Papi. He was conversing with Brooke, but Logan watched his shoulders stiffen when Papi's loud voice carried through the room.

This wasn't going to be easy.

Logan was tempted to let Sylvia take the seat next to James, but at a warning glance from Brooke he sighed and hesitantly slid into the chair she'd saved for him. James stared straight ahead, the tension rolling off his body and his hands clenched together in his lap.

Surprisingly, he spoke to Logan first. "Not a word. I'm here because I have to be, and I refuse to speak to you. Not one word, are we clear?"

Logan could've pointed out that James _had_ just spoken to him, but in the interest of keeping the peace he nodded. James still hadn't turned toward him. "Understood. Can I at least say that—"

"Nope. Nothing."

He went for it anyway. "You were incredible today. I've never been so proud. Of _anyone_."

James turned his head to the left in an apparent stab at ignoring Logan and pretending he hadn't heard the comment. Logan knew he had, though. It was enough.

It was Sylvia who sat at Logan's right, and on the other side of the Garcia family were the Knights (situated of course so that Kendall and Carlos sat side by side). Logan kept waiting for James to make some excuse and switch seats with Katie in order to join them, but he never did. Instead he made a million trips to the food bar and used what little words he did utter with Brooke. At one point their shoulders brushed together, sending electricity shooting through Logan but having the opposite effect on James—he immediately scooted his chair farther away, and Logan wanted to cry.

There was no sign of Mandy, though, and that he counted as a win. James never even took his phone out. As determined as he was to ignore Logan, he seemed to want to be present in the moment and enjoyed the actual ceremony once the coaches started to speak.

Logan wondered if the enemy was in this room right now, studying James and making plans to change the future. He still felt that James was safe until receiving the trophy, as even the enemy knew he'd have to win it in order for them to pinpoint James' location in the past. Once that was done and James had taken it home, all bets were off. Logan studied every face in the banquet room and searched for anyone who stood out, but that was an impossible task; he didn't know these people. Hopefully they didn't know him, either.

The vibe in the room suddenly shifted, excitement ratcheting up, and Logan tuned back into what was being said. It was time for the last award, which Logan knew would go to James. This was _it_!

"Now I know this award is special," the head coach was saying, "but all of them are. Let's give a round of applause for the entire team, who played a hell of a season this year."

Everyone complied, along with some whistles and a rather loud yell from Papi.

"Having said that," the man continued, "there is one player who went above and beyond this season, especially during the championship games. We've seen him play for years and always knew he was talented, but this time he really stepped up and made you all better players by setting an example of teamwork and...well, just hard work in general."

Something dug into Logan's left thigh. He started, then looked down to see it was James' hand. James probably wasn't even aware of the gesture; his focus was completely on the coach, as was everyone else's. Logan took advantage of the moment and twined their fingers together, James' squeezing back in hope. He_ really _wanted to win this.

"We couldn't have made it to the playoffs without him. We're sorry to see him go this year, along with all the other seniors leaving us, but whatever this young man chooses to do with his life, he'll be a success. This year's Most Valuable Player award goes to..."

James' fingers strangled Logan's. He didn't mind it one bit.

"James Diamond!"

James gasped as if he couldn't quite believe it. He looked past the row of family to Kendall, who he surely thought would get the prize. Kendall was cheering, nothing but pride and happiness looking back at James, and Logan gently nudged him. "Get up there," he whispered. "You deserve this."

He hated to lose James' touch when their hands separated. It gave him the opportunity to join in the applause, though, and he couldn't stop smiling. Watching James walk up to the coach to receive the trophy was a dream come true. He was witnessing history in action!

After taking the award and posing for a quick picture with the coaches, James cleared his throat. "Uh, thanks. I honestly thought Kendall was gonna get this one."

There was general laughter around the room. Kendall called out, "No way dude, you earned that!"

A pleased flush spread across James' cheeks. "I just want to say how great it's been to have hockey in my life all these years. It gave me an excuse to hang out with my best friends and I'm gonna miss that now that it's over. I probably wouldn't have stuck with it for so long if it wasn't for you guys, and everyone on the team's great. Thanks for giving me a place to feel like I belong."

Tears were coursing down Logan's cheeks. He let them flow along with the emotions running through him like a current.

"Sorry I couldn't get us to state, but I tried my hardest. And...I guess I just want to take a second to thank the two people who motivated me to do that. Mom..." James turned his face to her, and Logan saw naked love and devotion in his eyes for the first time; there was no hiding behind a wall right now. "Thanks for...everything." Now emotion was welling up in James. "You're amazing and I look up to you and...it's for you that I fought so hard this season. I hope I made you proud."

Brooke nodded, too worked up to speak.

"There's someone else who showed me how to focus my energy and channel it into the game. He knows who he is and I guess...thanks for that. I wouldn't have played so well without him encouraging me and believing in me. This trophy goes to him, too. He helped me earn it."

James' gaze strayed nowhere near Logan, and that was a good thing because Logan was already overwhelmed and stunned. Even his tears had dried up in shock.

"I'll treasure this trophy forever. Thanks for the memories, guys." James held it up to the sound of more cheering before stepping away from the coaches and toward the table.

Or so Logan thought. He did round the table's edge but then kept straight on going until he was out of the room. Brooke and Logan watched him disappear.

"Dammit," she whispered. "Go. Right now, go after him, Logan."

Logan didn't need to be told twice. It was probably not the best time to approach James, as he was already emotional (and he wasn't the only one), but maybe that would work to his advantage. Worried about James' mental state, he rushed out of the room to search for him. Most likely James was headed for the bathroom.

Instead Logan spied the person he knew better than himself storming through the lobby toward the exit. James was _leaving_.

"Shit," Logan muttered. He walked as fast as he could without actually running, praying Mandy wasn't out there waiting. Maybe James just wanted air and to be alone.

He wasn't going to get that. Logan stepped out into the sun and glanced around, relief sweeping over him when he caught sight of James standing at the curb of the parking lot while staring down at the trophy in his grip. "Hey."

James twisted back with wide eyes and tucked the trophy under his arm. "What the...can't you fucking leave me alone?"

The scathing tone was unexpected after everything James had said inside. Logan _knew_ that speech had been about him. "I thought you might need to talk."

"You really don't get it, do you?" James spat. "I want nothing to do with you. _Nothing_. I don't know how to make that more clear than I already have. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I care," Logan answered honestly. "And because you say things like you did in that room. You hold my hand."

"I...that was...it wasn't..." James stumbled over his words, eyes purposely avoiding Logan's face.

"I didn't imagine it, James. I know you were talking about me."

"So? Doesn't mean I want to be friends, or even talk to you ever again. What I really want is just to forget about you."

This time it was Logan who looked away, because that hurt.

"Can you just stay away from me, Logan? Please?"

Logan bit his lip. There was no use in lying. "I don't know how. You can hate me all you want, but I'm always going to worry about you and want to make sure you're okay. I can't help that."

"But _why_? I'm nobody! I'm worse than nobody, I'm someone who can't stand to be around you. Why would you care about somebody like that?"

"Because you're so much more than you think you are. You just have to believe it."

"Stop it! Stop trying to manipulate me!"

"James, I'm not! I'm telling you the truth, you're—"

"Just shut up. Ever since I met you, you don't know how to fucking shut up. I'm sick of listening to you, will you just shut the fuck up for once and leave me in peace?"

James was yelling by then, but underneath it Logan heard desperate pleading. James truly wanted Logan out of his life, and for the first time Logan considered it. He was making James miserable and he had the power to stop that. So much hung in the balance and depended on him, and yet he'd come here and made his favorite person miserable. How could he continue to do that?

"_If you ever start to feel like what you're doing is a bad thing, remember all of the good that will come out of it. Remember that you're saving the population and all future generations, giving them a chance to make the world a better place. Do what it takes to accomplish this for that reason alone."_

"I...can't." Logan's voice shook. "I'm sorry. I can't give up."

James seemed baffled by Logan's unwillingness to back down. "Unbelievable. You're so selfish that you'd rather torture me and make my life hell than walk away. I thought you were different, Logan. I thought you might actually care about_ me_, and not just try to get what you wanted from me."

"James, I do! That's why I can't give up! You're too special, you don't even realize—"

An approaching car honked its horn. James spun away with a relieved sigh when he spotted the familiar pink convertible pulling up to the curb. "Thank god. I'm done with you. Done listening to you, done looking at you, done..._thinking_ about you. Get out of my life, Logan. I don't want you here."

"Please just—"

"No!" James was about to hop into the car but turned back to yell. "Stop it! This has to stop, Logan! Just fucking go away!"

From behind the wheel, Mandy smirked at Logan with a smug sense of victory. She'd won and she knew it. "Get in, Jamie. Leave the trash at the curb where it belongs."

James did. He settled the trophy on his lap and let Mandy greet him with a kiss. Logan had to turn away.

If Mandy _was _the enemy, she was doing a damn good job of weakening her opponent. He couldn't even bear to watch the car drive away.

* * *

"Where did he go?"

Logan had no idea how long he'd been standing in front of the Sizzler when Brooke's voice interrupted his melancholy. She'd poked her head out the front door to look for them and found him alone.

"With her," Logan mumbled, arms wrapped around himself. Brooke opened her mouth and he added, "Don't yell at me. I tried to keep him here."

Brooke let out a sigh before stepping through the door to join him. One hand on his shoulder, she asked, "What happened?"

Logan shook his head. "He hates me. He doesn't want me around."

"Too bad. You'll have another chance tonight at the party. He won't want to make a scene in front of—"

"Brooke, stop." After spinning around to face her, he continued, "I'm not going."

"Yes, you are. We've been through this."

"We have, and I think the worst thing I could do tonight is to ruin his party. I need to keep going with the plan, which was to stay away so he misses me and—"

"That was never my plan. I told you it probably wouldn't work since he hardly knows you."

"But it_ is _working. I was getting somewhere in there, I felt it, and then I followed him out here and messed it up again. I need to let him come to me when he's ready."

"Logan, you need to keep on him and force him to face his feelings. The more you let him run from them, the more—"

"The more I back him into a corner and he lashes out! He made it clear just now that he never wants to see me again, and it's because I came after him."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "No, that had nothing to do with it, he was already angry with you."

"Did you hear that speech?" Logan pointed out. "That was about us. About _me_. It was working, he was missing me enough to say nice things about me. And then instead of letting him think about all of that, I ran out here and forced him to face me before he was ready. He doesn't want me around, and I'm going to respect that."

"So you're just giving up?! You're letting him go, letting that harpy win?"

"No, Brooke," Logan sighed. Suddenly he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to be home in bed so he could hide away from the world. Part of him would rather it was his bed in the future and that this had never happened, that he'd never given James a chance to hate him. "I'm not giving up. I just need to do this my way. I need him to know that I respect his wishes and that he can feel safe with me. That I won't push."

"I know my son," Brooke said quietly. "We may not be as close as Jennifer and Kendall, he may not come to me when he needs help or advice, but I _know_ him. He needs you, Logan. He hates that about himself, but he needs you. Be there for him."

"I will. I swear, I'm not going anywhere. I already told him that I'm always here for him and he can reach out if he ever needs me. But he needs to be the one to do that, okay? It has to be on his terms or he feels like he's caving or...it makes him weak or something, I don't know. Let him sit there tonight with his friends and that..._her_...and wonder why he still feels empty, like something's missing. Let him come to it on his own. I'll be home and ready in case he contacts me. Otherwise? The time isn't right." Logan pushed away the thought that he didn't have a lot of time as it was; that reminder made him panicky. "You have to trust me on this, Brooke."

It was clear she didn't. "I repeat that you've known him for a week. You can't know him as well as I do."

"I'm sure that's true."

"But..." Her shoulders dropped and she stared around the parking lot as if gathering her thoughts. "You _have_ gotten closer to him than anyone else in that time, so...fine. Don't come to the party I've worked so hard on for three weeks. Don't come see how amazing it's going to be."

"I'll see pictures," Logan promised with a smirk. "I'm sure plenty of people will post about it, and Carlos will show me if I ask."

She nodded slowly. "I really wanted you there."

For the first time Logan wondered if James hadn't been her sole motivation on that; did Brooke need him there for support? "Hey. You can call me, too. If you need me. Not for James, but for _you_. I'm always here for both of you."

Behind her glare was the truth—she did need him, at least a little bit. "I've told you, Dr. Mitchell, I'm not an invalid."

"I never said you were. If you need help cleaning up after the party, or even setting it up, I can do that. He's not going to be home for awhile anyway, I'm sure."

"I've hired a team to take care of the party. They handle everything, from set-up to take down. I'm fine."

"Good."

The front door swung open to reveal a few members of the hockey team followed by parents; the ceremony was over. Logan knew the Knights and Garcias weren't far behind. "But call me if you need me," he said. "For anything. _ Except _James."

Brooke got in a silent nod before Carlos spied them. "There you are! We thought maybe you left with—" His face fell. "Where's James?"

Kendall stepped up behind Carlos and laid a hand on his shoulder, the same realization hitting him when he saw Logan and Brooke standing together. His face clouded over. "He left?"

"She picked him up," Logan confirmed. "He must have told her ahead of time to be here."

"Dammit," Kendall said under his breath. "Well, Carlos, guess we're not hanging with him before the party."

"Guess not." Carlos turned to his parents, who had come outside with Jennifer and Katie. "I can stay at Kendall's tonight, right? After the party?"

"Sure, baby," Sylvia answered. "Logan, did you want to go with them or come home with us tonight?"

"Oh, I'm not going to the party. I'll be fine at home."

Papi frowned. "Not going to the party? Why not? James knows you, he won't mind if you come. You're family."

It was Katie, of all people, who offered Logan a pitying look. "Parties aren't really Logan's thing. I'm sure James will understand."

Jennifer backed that up. "Of course he will. Brooke, do you need any help setting up? Sylvia and I can—"

"No, but thank you. I've hired party planners, they'll handle everything. I need to get going so I can meet them at the house. I'll see you all tonight at six!"

Sylvia nodded. "Just call us if you change your mind. Come on, boys." She herded Carlos and Logan toward the parking lot. Logan watched Brooke head toward the car he'd ridden in the previous week, glad she'd parked close as he knew physical activity tended to tire her out quickly. He wondered what it would take to get her a handicapped placard to ensure she could always park close.

Then again, how often did she leave the house these days? How many more trips would she make outside of medical appointments? The realization that she wouldn't even make it to the following year hit him harder than it ever had before. A wall of grief rushed toward him for this woman who, like her son, had come to mean so much to him.

Carlos nudged him in the back seat of the minivan. "You okay?" he whispered, noting tears sneaking silently from Logan's eyes.

Logan nodded.

"Did you fight with James again?"

Another nod. Let Carlos think that was the reason for his tears.

"I'm sorry, man. Kendall and I were talking, and we both think he was talking about you when he got that award. I mean, if it's not us, who else would it be?"

Logan swallowed hard. "It was me," he admitted. "He told me after. He also told me I'm making him miserable and he wants to forget about me." Fresh tears sprouted; this time James _was_ the reason.

"Dude, I'm so sorry. Maybe...maybe his birthday will help. Like he'll look back on his life and realize he misses you. You know?"

"That's what I'm hoping."

"And if he doesn't? What are you gonna do then?"

Logan had no idea.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N—Happy Tuesday! We all made it through another week, and how great was that surprise BTR video yesterday? It sure got a lot of people reminiscing about the good old days, and I'm hoping it brings people back to fic as well. You never know! Anyway, here's the next chapter of this one. It's shorter than I usually post but you'll see when you get there that it was the best place to stop before jumping into the next scene. Hope you enjoy! And I got a lot written this morning, so if I'm able to do the same on my next day off you might get another chapter before next week. Fingers crossed! Thanks for reading!

* * *

Papi tried one more time to convince Logan to go along to the party. Sylvia told Papi to back off, probably thinking Logan wasn't up to so many people and would prefer the time alone. Logan let her assume that.

Carlos gave him a sad look before stepping out of the house. "I'm sorry, man. I know you want to be there."

"It's okay. Just keep me posted. Often. Let me know how he's doing. He was upset when he left Sizzler."

"Yeah. He'll probably just spend the whole night with Mandy," Carlos complained with a roll of his eyes. "But we'll try to get him talking. See you in the morning!"

Right, because Carlos would be staying at Kendall's. Maybe they'd convince James to join them there; he wouldn't want to be alone on his birthday, would he? It might depress Brooke to be alone on James' birthday, though. Perhaps Logan would bully his way into her home with lunch Sunday.

In her own attempt at bullying by way of guilt, Brooke texted him video of the decorations around the house and backyard, along with a message of _"Look at what you're missing. They've transformed my home!"_

"_It does look good. You're sure you didn't overtax yourself setting it all up?"_

"_I barely lifted a finger. Trust me, Jennifer and Katie came early to make sure of that. I still think you two are in cahoots against me."_

A laugh burst out of Logan. _ "We're not, I swear! We just care. What's James doing?"_

"_He's not here yet."_

Logan frowned and looked at the time. Twelve minutes past six. _"Are you sure he's coming?"_

"_After all this effort I put into his party? He'd better or he's grounded. I'm not letting that harpy ruin my last chance to throw my son a birthday party."_

Part of Logan really wanted to argue that she didn't know it was her last chance, that she needed to be more positive. He didn't, though, because he knew she was right and he respected her too much to give her false hope; she knew what was coming and was determined to face it with bravery and dignity. _"He'll be there,"_ was what Logan responded instead. He hoped he knew James well enough to at least be right about that. _"Are there a lot of guests?"_

"_They're straggling in. James said he invited the entire hockey team and a bunch of kids from school, so I'm prepared for a hundred. That means I'll probably need help eating up the leftovers over the next few days."_

He smiled at the hint. _ "If James is out tomorrow afternoon, I can spend some time there after our study session. Let me know."_

"_Study session?"_

"_I'm helping Carlos and Kendall with schoolwork on Sunday mornings now. So far they're both doing better."_

"_James could really use something like that."_

Yes, that was the whole point of it—the whole point of his existence now: to help James. Logan's prospects seemed so hopeless in moments like this. _"If he ever forgives me, he's invited." _ Surprising himself, he admitted to Brooke, _"I miss him."_

"_He misses you, too. I know he does. Tonight should do the trick. He'll wish you were here. I need to get going for now, the party planners need direction. Are you sure you won't come?"_

"_Positive. Just keep me updated on him. Let me know he's okay."_

The next hour was torture. No one communicated with him and he felt like time was going backward because it passed so slowly. He tried to read a book, but couldn't concentrate. Attempted homework and had the same problem. All he could think about was James.

So rather than run from his traitorous thoughts, Logan embraced them. It was safe to pull his box down from the closet and get lost in his photo cube of James; he spent time reminding himself of the man James would come to be, the man who'd captivated him from a young age and inspired every life choice he'd made since he was a child.

Seemingly larger than life while projected on Carlos' bedroom wall, an older and wiser James smiled back at him to impart words that had helped him get through many days. "We have to remember that as bleak as the world seems at times, there are people fighting for change. We're on the path to eradicating cancer completely, which is a feat that once seemed impossible. Everything seems impossible until it's not. This new genetic process will pave the way to a healthier life for all, not just in the area of cancer but illnesses we never imagined could be obsolete. Change is coming, and it's the hope that keeps us fighting."

Halfway through the speech, Logan was mouthing the words along with James while studying him with new eyes. James would cut his hair at some point, right around the time his formula became known worldwide because that's when the interviews and press conferences would start. Now Logan knew that it was a sense of vanity perhaps that would drive James to that; he thrived on the attention, but would want to look his best. That leather jacket he wore around from day to day would disappear to be replaced with suits (or nice shirts, at the very least) and eventually a lab coat that he loved so much he'd be buried in it. James would need glasses after thirty, when his eyesight started to gradually decline. His hairline would slowly recede, and by fifty there would be nothing but white growing out of his scalp but he'd still have a head of lush hair.

What wouldn't change was that spark in his eyes, the same one that appeared now when James talked about being famous. It was the spark Logan had fallen in love with at a young age, and while he didn't understand why it was fame driving James at this point, it drew him in just the same. He could spend all night listening to James talk about his hopes and dreams the way he'd started to down in Carlos' basement during that one perfect night they'd had together. Logan would give anything to have that back.

For now he'd have to content himself watching footage of future James (it was still weird to think of that version as "future" James rather than past) with the knowledge it would come to pass. "I believe in you," Logan whispered now, watching another press conference he'd pulled up. "You're going to change the world, and I'm going to be so proud."

Logan was just thinking about digging some food out of the fridge when a text from Kendall came in. _"Well, James finally showed up and you're not gonna believe this. I feel like it's MY birthday or something."_

Logan put away the cube to focus on his phone, hope burgeoning. _"Tell me."_

"_She's out. FINALLY. He showed up alone. Carlos asked about her, and James said he broke it off. That's why he was late, he was ending things between them. SHE'S GONE, LOGAN!"_

Logan's breath caught as his eyes skimmed the message. Mandy was gone? James dumped her? After everything they'd talked about in that parking lot, James had walked away from her? _"Why? Why would he do that? Did he say?"_

"_Said he doesn't want to talk about it. Fine with me, I'm just glad she's gone. Mindy's not here either, she's probably consoling Mandy. I'm sure that bitch didn't take it well. But Denise showed up. I'd almost rather it be Mindy, even though she annoys me."_

All of that made perfect sense to Logan, who knew that Denise represented a threat to his feelings for Carlos. Still, the fact that James had ended things with Mandy...

Nothing about this could be bad. It was the first step toward his destiny. The why didn't matter—all that did was that it happened and James could move forward with a clear head now. Unless... _"Is he drunk?"_

"_Not yet. There is alcohol here for the adults, but it wouldn't be hard for James to sneak some of it. Not at his own house."_

This was true. _ "Stay close to him tonight. Both of you. Where's Carlos?"_

"_Talking to James out back. The place looks amazing. I wish you could see it."_

"_Brooke sent me video."_

"_Of course she did, you're BFF's." _

"_Laugh all you want, but at least I know what's going on with James this way. Just keep him safe tonight, okay? Don't let him out of your sight. If Mandy's really upset, she might show up and cause drama."_

It was more than drama Logan was worried about, because if by chance Mandy was the enemy sent back to kill James, this would be the perfect time. Not only had he already won the trophy that would help them pinpoint him in this time, she had a perfect excuse to "lose her mind and get revenge on her ex-boyfriend out of grief."

"_Don't worry about it, we'll keep an eye on him. And we'll feel him out about you. If he seems like he's caving, we'll let you know and you can come make a move."_

"_Please do. Keep me posted."_

"_No prob. He's in surprisingly good spirits for a guy who just dumped his girlfriend."_

"_That's because he knew she wasn't right for him. Just stay near him."_

Kendall sent back what looked like a thumbs up. Logan let out a relieved breath.

It would be easy to fool himself that James' actions had to do with feelings for him, but Logan didn't allow his mind to follow that path. It was the path to delusion. Instead of wondering why James had done it, Logan just enjoyed the fact that he did. Brooke would be just as thrilled with the news.

"_Can you talk?" _he sent.

Brooke replied a few minutes later. _"I'm inside now. He's out back."_

This required an actual call. Logan sat on his bed, foot bouncing restlessly against the carpet as he heard ringing through the phone. He needed to share this with someone.

"I was going to text you in a bit," Brooke answered in her no-nonsense tone. "I've kind of got a lot going on over here, you know."

"This is important. He broke up with her."

There was no answer.

"Did you hear me? Kendall just texted. Brooke, he broke up with her! She's gone!"

A harsh sigh came through before being cut off. "Are you sure? Is that why she's not here?"

"Positive! He won't talk about it but he told them he dumped her. That's why he was late."

"Oh, hallelujah! Miracles _do_ happen!"

"I know! I don't even care why, I'm just so happy she's out of his life!"

"That's a lie. You do care why."

"Okay, maybe," Logan admitted. "But this doesn't mean I'm back on his good side. It probably has nothing to do with me."

"Hmm, I think it has a lot to do with you. If nothing else, he's using his brains now and that has plenty to do with your influence. Come to the party, Logan. Please. He's in such a wonderful mood, making the rounds with everyone and being sociable and it's been a long time since I've seen him this way. Come witness it."

Logan shook his head. "No. I'll just ruin it. Remember, he has to miss me."

"Why are you so stubborn?" she chastised.

He thought that was most definitely ironic coming from her. "Because I'm right. Just go spend time with him. See if you can find out what motivated him to do it."

"I think the boys have a better chance of that."

"Probably. He's not drinking, right?"

"Not that I'm aware of. But I'd say he's earned himself a beer tonight."

"Brooke, no, one leads to more. And he's a minor! You could get arrested for allowing him to drink!"

"Logan, will you lighten up? My son is happy, there's nothing more I want right now. Except you here. Will you come?"

Logan rolled his eyes. "And you call _me _stubborn. I'm hanging up now. Just wanted to let you know the good news."

"Well, thank you. Let me know of any other breaking news that you hear."

"I'm counting on you for the same. Have fun, Brooke. Enjoy the party. Just...enjoy spending time with him."

"I have been. The past few days have been wonderful, Logan. I almost hate to send him back to school Monday. But I will, because he needs to see you again."

"Also because he needs an education?"

"Well yes, there is that. Oh, Sylvia's calling for me. I'll talk to you later."

"Goodnight, Brooke."

Once he hung up the call, Logan didn't know what to do with himself. His body was humming with excitement, because even if James didn't forgive Logan in the next few days, he would be spending more time with Kendall and Carlos. And hopefully drinking less. That was something to celebrate.

Logan returned the box to the closet. There would be time to enjoy the future version of James (he hoped), and this time he'd see it all happen. For the moment he was content to think about the present James—one who had finally started using his brain, as Brooke pointed out. It was only a matter of time before he saw reason where Logan was concerned, as well.

In a much better frame of mind, Logan went to the kitchen to put something together for dinner. Sylvia had mentioned leftovers from the night before, and he supplemented that with a salad he threw together while wondering why people didn't dump ranch dressing on pretty much everything. He couldn't get enough of the stuff. Now if he could just convince Sylvia to pick up pine nuts next time she went shopping...

An hour after that, Kendall texted again. _ "We can't find him. Nobody's seen him for almost an hour."_

Logan's heart stopped. Sudden visions of James weakening and running back to Mandy flew through his brain. "No. No no no, James, don't do this." He forced himself to calm down and paused the television show he'd been engrossed in. _"I just talked to Brooke an hour ago and she said he was going around being sociable."_

"_He was."_ There was nothing more.

"_So what happened? How did you lose him?"_

It was too long before the next text, and when it came Logan knew why; Kendall was mad at himself and knew Logan would be angry, too. _ "Carlos wanted more cake."_

_Deep breaths, Logan. Deep breaths. "So you went into the house and when you came back out, he was gone?"_

"_We didn't think anything of it. He'd been having a good time, just making the rounds and thanking everyone for coming. He seemed happy. Like really happy to see us all here."_

"_Is he drinking?"_

"_I don't know. He wasn't, but I guess he might be now."_

"_Did he leave? Do you know if he left?"_

"_No. He's not answering texts. We don't know where he is."_

_Think, Logan. Think. _ _"Is Denise still there?"_

"_Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?"_

"_Have her text or call Mandy. To 'check on her.' If James is with Mandy, or even on the way there, Mandy will tell her."_

"_Oh, that's smart! Give me a few minutes."_

Those few minutes were agony. _ Please James, don't do this. Don't run back to her._

"_Mandy's still depressed. Mindy said they haven't heard anything from James."_

Relief was like cool water raining down on him in the middle of the desert. That had also calmed his fears that Mandy was currently making plans to harm James. _ "Okay, is there anywhere else he would go?"_

Logan assumed the lack of an answer right away meant Kendall was thinking, but then he replied, _"He just texted me. Told me and Carlos to meet him up in his room. I gotta go."_

The relief intensified. _"Please get back to me when you can. Just so I know he's okay."_

Logan spent the next twenty minutes pacing the house and trying not to panic. The fact that James had reached out to Kendall and Carlos was encouraging; he needed to remember that. The break-up had probably just hit him and he was depressed. Or maybe now that he didn't have Mandy and alcohol to distract him, the truth of his mother's fate was sinking in. Maybe he was finally accepting everything and needed his friends to talk to. Hadn't that been their goal all along?

Jealousy sprang up unexpectedly. _It was supposed to me. I'm the one he's supposed to lean on and cry to. _

But that wasn't true. Logan hadn't been here the first time around and James had leaned on someone else, most likely the two people who were up in his room with him right this second. Things were going the way they were supposed to. Logan should be happy. This was the way it had played out in the past, he was sure of it. In fact, it was better that he wasn't at the party. His presence would probably alter things too much. Really, this was all for the best.

He was still working on believing that when his phone rang. It was Carlos. "Oh thank god," Logan breathed before answering. "What's up?"

"You need to get over here. Now."

Something was off in Carlos' voice; rarely did Logan hear him scared. "Carlos? What's going on? Where's James?"

"He went back outside. Logan...please, come talk to him. You're the only person in the world who can get through to him."

"Carlos, what's..." Sheer horror filled Logan when he realized what could have Carlos that frightened. "Is he alone? Don't leave him alone!"

Next it was Kendall's voice in his ear. "Dude, get over here and talk some sense into him."

Kendall at least didn't sound panicked; he sounded pissed. "What the hell is happening?"

"He's leaving."

Logan blinked a few times while trying to make sense of it. "Leaving? Like..."

"Like running away. Before morning. He's apparently been planning it for days and wanted to say goodbye to everyone tonight. Only nobody knows it's a goodbye."

Logan's mouth slowly dropped open. This wasn't right, James never ran away. He stayed here in Duluth and graduated from Denfield and turned in that assignment. Maybe Kendall and Carlos had... "Talk him out of it."

"We tried!" Kendall yelled. "We just spent twenty minutes trying to talk him out of it! He's pissed at us now and says we can't stop him or force him to watch his mom die."

"Oh my god," Logan whispered. He fell onto the sofa and rubbed a hand over his face. "James..."

"Get over here, Logan. You're the only one who can get past his wall. Don't let him go."

_Fuck. _ "Okay. Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes, just don't let him go anywhere! Did you tell Brooke?"

"No, we swore we wouldn't. He made us promise. He just wanted to say goodbye to us and do it right and made us swear to look after his mom. He said nobody else knows. He's already got a bag packed and a bus ticket to Hollywood. Please, Logan." Kendall's anger was giving way to fear now. "Don't let him do this. Don't let him go."

"Just...keep an eye on him. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Oh, and Logan...he's been drinking. That's where he was, hiding out somewhere getting drunk. So he's not..."

"Of course he was," Logan sighed. "I'll bring my battle armor. Thanks."

"Just get here."

Logan killed the call, the weight of the fate of humanity resting on his shoulders yet again. When had this become so difficult?


	21. Chapter 21

A/N—Surprise, it's another chapter already! I did get a lot written on my last day off, yay! Hope you enjoy. A lot going on in this chapter. :)

And for those writing in the forum's Major Event Challenge, a reminder that the 30th is the last day to post. And if you do enter, make sure to read/review all the other stories as well! If you have no idea what I'm talking about and would like to know more, message me on the site. It's a fun exercise to write and read what everyone comes up with for the challenge. I'll have my story up this weekend.

And on with the show! Thank you for reading. As always, I hope this finds you safe and healthy.

* * *

After a brief debate while throwing on shoes, Logan decided to leave Brooke out of the loop on this one; she had enough on her mind and didn't need to know about any of this unless it became reality.

Logan was going to stop it from doing that.

How, he didn't know. All he knew was that the time for walking on eggshells was over—James needed to be smacked, and very hard. Figuratively, of course, because Logan also knew that physically he was no match for James.

Maybe Kendall and Carlos could hold him down.

But no. No, that wasn't the way to get through to James. Carlos and Kendall were right—Logan knew how to get past that wall because he'd done it already and now the battering ram needed to come out. Cold, hard truth would be Logan's best weapon.

_Will it, though? _he asked himself as he pulled the front door closed behind him. _You tried that, and it pushed him to this. You forced him to face it and now he's running. James is not good at accepting the truth when it hurts him._

Too bad. Running wasn't an option.

For Logan, however, running was the_ best_ option. He was panting when he reached the Diamond house and hesitated on the front steps just to catch his breath. He'd get nowhere with James if he couldn't even talk.

Just like at Jenny's party, Logan wondered how the neighbors weren't complaining about the loud music coming from the backyard. Knowing Brooke, she'd probably paid them all or invited them just to keep them from complaining. The front of the house didn't look any different, but once Logan stepped inside he could see how busy the event planners must have been all day. Streamers and signs hung everywhere, balloons were tied in bunches and spread around the space, and the dining room table housed an entire buffet of offerings. The kitchen seemed to be built around a massively tall cake sitting on a pedestal. Even after being served, what was left towered above Logan's head. Leave it to Brooke to go all out.

Logan paid little attention to the people scattered throughout as he moved from the foyer to the dining room and the kitchen further on. A quick sweep with his gaze was enough to know the only person who mattered wasn't present. He followed the music and pushed on through to the backyard, which he'd not been in before but even so could tell it had been transformed. Strings of lights hung from every direction to meet in the middle, where an actual disco ball shone as it spun. Had he not been in such a hurry to find James, he might've stopped to marvel at it and wonder how it was being suspended. Instead he barely noticed the D.J. or the actual bar that had been brought in, all of his focus on finding James.

The grass was covered with couples moving together in time to the music. He recognized his own foster parents out there having a blast, and some of the guys from the hockey team. Most were strangers to him. Where were Carlos and Kendall? And more importantly, where was James?

Along one side of the bordering wall sat a row of tables that had been set up. He spotted Brooke seated at one with Jennifer and Katie, all of them relaxed and laughing as if the world wasn't about to fall apart. Again he was jealous of those who could live their lives without worrying for the future when he had no such luxury.

_It's fine. I'll find James, I'll fix this, and everything will just go on as it's supposed to._

Logan had to believe that. But he couldn't do anything until he found James. Maybe he was hiding up in his room?

He let his gaze take one more pass around the backyard, this time noticing a shed near the D.J. A shed would be the perfect hiding place, wouldn't it? He could just imagine James holed up in there drinking in the dark, feeling sorry for himself. The vision made him want to both hug James and roll his eyes. Why couldn't he have met James later in life, when there would be no teenage hormones and recklessness to deal with?

_You can do this. If anyone can talk him down from the fear he's feeling right now, you can. DO THIS._

Logan nodded once to himself and stepped off the patio, thinking to skirt the dancing crowd on the way to the shed. He'd just rounded the first corner when a body twirled in front of him to block his path. A giggle was followed by "Hey, cutie. Want to dance?"

He halted in place, a sense of _deja vu_ coming over him. When he looked more closely at the girl, a niggling sensation worked at his brain; he'd seen her before, but where?

And did it really matter right now? There were more important things to worry about. He was on a mission. "No, thanks."

Before he could step around her, she shrugged. "Your loss." Then she was swallowed up by the dancing crowd, Logan watching her spin away.

That's when it came to him. She'd been at Jenny's party, and hadn't she said the exact same thing that night? The vague memory came back to him now, and yes—it had definitely been the same girl.

One of the movies from this time that had survived into the future was called _The Matrix_. Logan had watched it more than once, fascinated by the concept of an entire planet of people living in a dream world and having no idea that reality existed outside it. Now he was reminded of it and what was known as a glitch in the matrix—an exact repeat of a moment, as if there was a glitch in time itself. A sense of _deja vu_, like you'd already lived through that moment.

Logan was feeling it now, and strongly. But this was different, this wasn't a moment repeated immediately like a skip in a record. _Days _had passed between their first meeting and this. More than a week! So no, this was nothing like that and he needed to just stop letting outside influences distract him. The girl was someone from Denfield who knew both Jenny and James and therefore had been invited to both parties. For whatever unimaginable reason, she found Logan attractive and was trying to get his attention. It really wasn't something to overanalyze.

_James. You're here for James. Find James!_

Right. He started to move toward the shed again, putting the girl out of his mind, and made it three steps this time before being hailed.

"Logan!"

He barely heard his name over the music, but when it was repeated he spun around. Carlos and Kendall were running toward him from the patio. He met them halfway.

"Where's James?"

"He went that way," Carlos answered, pointing toward a corner of the backyard—the one that housed the shed, not surprisingly. "About five minutes ago."

"We haven't seen him come back, we've been watching. Unless..." Scared green eyes were turned to Carlos. "Do you think he hopped the wall?"

"Nah, we would've seen him. We were watching."

"Did he go in the shed?" Logan wanted to know. "That's what I was thinking."

"I didn't see him go in," Kendall answered with a shake of his head. "He walked like...around it. I'm thinking he's hiding behind it, in that corner. We were gonna go after him but...well, he's probably sitting back there crying and we thought he needed time to do that."

Logan let out a long sigh, having imagined the same thing. If James was crying, this might be easier. Or he might lash out in embarrassment. "Okay. I'm going in."

Kendall stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Just remember that he's been drinking, so he's already not himself. He'll probably yell at you again and...be a dick and try to hurt you."

"I'm aware of that. It's fine, he's the one hurting here and I need to help. Thanks for calling me, guys."

Carlos suddenly leaped toward Logan for a tight hug, forcing Kendall to drop his arm. "Good luck, man. Be brave."

"Carlos, I'm not going to war." Though that wasn't technically true, Logan feared. "I'm just going to the corner of the backyard. I'll be back."

Kendall dragged Carlos off of him. "You didn't tell Brooke, did you?"

"No. I have no intention of telling Brooke. This would kill her." He realized what a poor choice of words that had been and closed his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Just go." Kendall gave him a light push. "Say whatever you have to."

"I will."

This time there was no distraction. No one blocked his path. Logan made it to the shed and walked along the side, halting when he heard a sound. At first he thought it was a sob, then realized it was laughter. Soft laughter.

_Female_ laughter.

"What the hell," Logan whispered. He peeked around the corner of the shed to find James leaning against it while a smaller body pressed close to him in order to deepen the kiss they shared. Her hair wasn't blonde, it was long and dark, and Logan didn't recognize her until she pulled back with a smile that was highlighted by one of the perimeter lights mounted on the wall.

Shock made his jaw drop. It was Denise. _Denise_, who had been hoping to date Carlos—or at least that was the accepted theory. She'd shown every sign that it was Carlos she wanted to be with.

At the moment, Carlos seemed to be forgotten. Her eyes sparked with determination and she leaned in again, James allowing it as their lips met and her hands reached out to hold both of his. "Let's get out of here," she murmured, forced to be louder because of the music. "Nobody's home at my house."

James opened his mouth but Logan never gave him a chance to answer. "Oh, I don't think so." He rounded the corner to face them. "James isn't going anywhere." Denise gasped in surprise and backed away two steps. James looked over with slightly dazed hazel eyes that quickly rolled up in resigned annoyance.

"Of course you're here. Of _course_ you're fucking here. Do I need to get a fucking restraining order, asshole?"

The mere thought of it turned Logan's blood cold. He wasn't going to let James run, though. "Denise. We need to talk. Please go."

Denise looked to James for direction, but his gaze was fastened to Logan's face in rage. Perhaps seeing that whatever came next wouldn't be pretty, she ran.

Logan thought he'd seen James angry before. This was an entirely new level and the fire in James' eyes tempted Logan to back down, but only for a second. He had to do this. "They told me what you're planning."

James spun away. "Jesus fucking Christ. I thought they were my friends."

"They are, that's why they'd do anything to keep you here."

A harsh laugh escaped as James turned toward him again. "So they sent _you_? The person I hate more than anyone on Earth? They think that's going to make me want to actually _stay_?"

Logan ignored the pain those words caused and barreled on. "You can't run from this."

"Fuck you!" James exploded. Logan had expected to find him a little unsteady but he was one hundred percent in the moment and coherent. "Don't tell me what to do or how to live my life! You don't know what I'm dealing with!"

"I do. That's why you trusted me before, because I understand—"

"Oh, and that worked out so well for me, didn't it? Trusting you with my feelings and my fears and my deepest secrets, only to find out you just wanted to fuck me?"

"James! I'm not out to fuck you! I just want to help!"

"You can't! Nobody can help! Nobody can change this! It's happening and I refuse to stand by and watch. You can't make me watch my mother die!"

"James—"

"It's done! I'm leaving!"

Logan took a step closer so that he didn't have to yell. "No, you're not. She needs you, you _know_ she needs you, and you can't let her—"

"Oh, that's why they sent you. I get it now. You're here to talk me to death in hopes I miss my bus. Because you really don't know how to shut up."

_Patience, Logan._ He spoke calmly. "I'm here to stop you from making a mistake."

"Nothing you say can change my mind. Just stop talking."

"Do you want your mother to die alone? Scared and wondering if her son is even alive?"

"Fuck you," James muttered again.

"That's what'll happen if you leave. She'll end up in some random hospice with no one to—"

"Shut up." If it was possible, flames would've shot out from James' eyes.

"No one to hold her hand, no one to tell her it's going to be okay, no one—"

"Shut up!"

"No idea where you are or if you still love her or if she could've done something different to—"

"Shut! Up!"

James was three seconds away from punching him, Logan was almost certain. He pressed on anyway. "In her final moments, when she should be at peace, she'll be afraid for you and—"

James made his move. It wasn't the brutal fist smashing into his face that Logan had expected; instead it was the violent press of James' mouth to his, so forceful that Logan was shoved back against the wall of the shed, which rocked on its foundations before Logan got his bearings and leaned away from it. He moved closer to James, his hands reaching up to dark hair that was just as soft as he'd imagined. Hands gripped him hard by the waist before they moved to cup him from behind, pulling him tighter against what was an unmistakable erection that matched Logan's own. James' tongue invaded his mouth, hot and demanding and everything Logan had wanted from the moment he was old enough to understand what lust was.

For ten seconds that felt like eternity, Logan lost himself in the kiss that was never supposed to happen. It was James who finally pulled back, not suddenly but slowly so that their harsh breaths mingled and Logan whimpered against warm lips.

"Well," James panted. "Found a way to shut you up, didn't I?"

Logan didn't want to let go. He felt James pulling away, both emotionally and physically, and held on. His arms stayed wrapped around James' neck and his face buried itself in the hollow of James' neck.

"You just had to show up here tonight, didn't you?" There was no heat behind the words. "You couldn't stay away, you couldn't make this easy on me. Why are you such an asshole?"

"Because I care about you."

"Don't you understand that I can't fight you? That I can't be around you because I do stupid things like this?"

Logan's head flew up, nearly knocking against James' chin in the process. James tried to look away but Logan grabbed his face to keep their eyes locked. "Is that why you don't want to see me? Because you're afraid of this?"

James licked his lips, trying to look at anything but Logan. "Look, having a crush on you is fine as long as it's one-sided. It can't go anywhere, and it doesn't hurt anybody. It was easy to just spend time with you and not be afraid that this would ruin me, because I knew you didn't feel the same."

Realization dawned slowly. "But then you found out that I did."

"I really didn't remember you from the party. Not until Mandy reminded me. But if you felt the same way, we'd have to do something about it. We'd have to talk about it, because God knows you can't do anything without talking about it and bringing feelings out into the open. I couldn't allow that. You get it, right?"

Logan wasn't sure he did. "Because...of your career? Of your image?"

"Exactly! I can't have a boyfriend! Logan...I have a future and there's no room in it for a boyfriend!"

Logan knew that better than James did. "Is that why you're running away? To escape me?"

"No, not...completely. I was already planning to move out when I turn eighteen. But the whole thing with Mom, and you forced me to face the truth, and you put me in a position where I _need_ you, where I feel like I don't even know how to make it through a day without you...I can't have that. I can't be around you because it makes me weak. It makes me care more about you than my own future and..." Gentle fingers came up to tilt Logan's chin toward him. "I can't face her death alone."

"You don't have to. That's why I'm here."

"I can't be with you. If I fall in love with you, I'll never leave. I have a destiny, Logan. It's not here."

"You're right," Logan nodded. "You do and it's not here in Duluth. But this isn't the time to leave. Your mother needs you. _Everyone_ needs you. Stop running from the people who love you."

James' eyes fell closed. "You love me."

The time for lying about that was over. "I do. But what I said in my text is still true. I won't pursue my feelings. I'm not here to distract you or make you love me. I don't want to be your boyfriend."

One of James' brows shot up; he knew that wasn't exactly true.

"Okay, maybe if things were different and we lived in a world where everything was perfect...yeah. We could be together. This isn't that world, though."

James backed away a few steps, his arms dropping. Logan's hands did the same. "You're saying," James started, "that even if I was willing to just give it all up and be with you...you'd turn me down?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. That hurts."

"I'm sorry." Logan reached up to caress James' cheek. "It's not that I don't want to be with you. It's just not meant to be."

"Am I not good enough for you? I mean, I admit that you can do a lot better, and you'd be wasting your time with someone like me who isn't as smart or—"

This time it was Logan who shut James up with a kiss, and this one was less violent. It lingered in a soft touch that neither wanted to break. "There is no man more worthy of me than you, James. Trust me, I'm the one who isn't worthy of you."

"You know that's bullshit, right?" James hugged Logan in tight.

"I'm not your destiny. But your place is here, at least for now. You can't leave."

"I can't stay. It's killing me."

Logan sighed, holding James close. "What time does your bus leave?"

"Four. I was hoping to sleep at Kendall's and then just sneak out from there."

"Carlos is staying there. Come home with me. Let's talk this out. No interruptions, no one else hearing any of what you say. Just give me tonight to try to change your mind."

"You can't, Logan. I'm sorry. My mind is made up."

"I know. Please, James. Give me tonight. If nothing else, let me spend the last few hours of your time here with you."

He felt James wavering. "No fair kissing me to change my mind. No tricks."

"No tricks," Logan promised. "Just...talking."

James rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

Logan laughed and hugged James tight. "Because you know me. Want to get out of here?"

"Honestly...yes. It's making me sad to know I won't see these people again. How good are you at climbing walls?"

Dread filled Logan. Of course James wouldn't make this easy.

* * *

"I can't believe you needed help getting over the wall."

This was followed by a chortle. Logan had seen the word in old stories and often imagined what it might sound like in person; now he knew, because that was definitely a chortle. He refused to be ashamed and continued to type on his phone while trailing James down the sidewalk. "We can't all be as athletic as you. Some of us choose to exercise our brains rather than our bodies."

"Yeah, _nerds_," James teased, and instead of offending Logan it made his heart sing. He'd missed this. "Who are you texting anyway?" James stopped dead in front of him, causing Logan to crash into a broad back and almost drop his phone while James spun around with wide eyes. "It's not my mom, is it? Did you tell my mom about this?"

"No. I don't want your mom to know. It would probably cause her to give up and just...die." The time for sugarcoating was over. James needed to understand just how much of Brooke's current fighting attitude was for his benefit.

He got the point, at least enough to look away in shame before continuing the trek to the Garcia home.

Logan followed. "I'm texting the guys. They're worried about you."

"I'm aware of that."

"_We're going home. We'll be in the basement, but don't tell your parents. We need time to talk alone." _ Logan sent that and waited. Carlos' reply came back quickly.

"_There ur parents now 2."_

Huh. Logan supposed that for the rest of his life, they would be. Unless he completely disappeared once the mission was finished. That had been his plan originally, but now the idea seemed...lonely.

His phone buzzed again. Kendall this time. Logan had a sudden vision of the two of them standing shoulder to shoulder with their phones in hand. _"Is he staying?"_

"_Working on it. I'll let Brooke know he's safe with me. And I'll text Sylvia that I'm going to bed early and will talk to them in the morning."_

"_She won't check on you?"_

That was a good point. She might. _"I'll figure something out."_

"_Dude plz just make him stay!"_

They really needed to start a group chat, because that one was from Carlos. Logan sent off one more text (_"I'll be in touch"_) before slipping his phone into a pocket and reaching out for James' hand. It was dark and nobody was out, so hopefully he wouldn't fight the gesture.

James didn't. His own hand tightened around Logan's. "Ready to pay attention to _me_ now?"

"Every second of every day," Logan grinned. "Though I may need to run upstairs when Papi and Sylvia get home, just so they know I'm there. Otherwise they'll send out a search party."

"Yeah, they would." They turned onto Beech Lane, now half a block from the Garcia residence. "Cold?"

Was he? Logan hadn't realized he'd shivered, but James picked up on it. "A little, I guess."

Their hands parted so that James could shrug out of his jacket, and then the warm brown leather was draped across Logan's shoulders. He wrapped it more tightly while breathing in the scent. "Who knew you were such a gentleman?"

"Not me, that's for sure. I think you're the first person I've ever done that for."

"Seriously?" Logan glanced up at James' profile. "All the girlfriends you've had and no one's ever been treated this well? Not even Mandy?"

"_Especially_ not Mandy," James replied darkly. One arm reached out to pull Logan against him as they walked. Logan went willingly.

"What happened with her? I heard it's over."

"Well, I couldn't just disappear like that. Not if we were together. I had to end it."

Of course. Logan should've made that connection by now. "Right."

"I'd been thinking about it anyway," James admitted softly. "Someone told me she isn't right for me and...I couldn't get it out of my head. Couldn't get _him _out of my head."

Logan's face broke into a wide smile. "Sounds like a smart guy."

"About some things. Mostly he's just a pain in my ass."

It felt good to laugh again.

* * *

What Logan really wanted was to cuddle up with James on the sofa, but he thought that might take them places neither was destined to go—no matter how badly either of them wanted to. Instead he waited for James to kick off his shoes and drape a blanket over himself. It brought back memories of their first night together, when James had come to him for comfort. "Are you hungry?" Logan asked now. "Did you eat anything at the party?"

"Not really," James shrugged.

"Not even your birthday cake?"

"I wasn't exactly in the mood to celebrate."

Logan nodded slowly, wishing they had cake or even ice cream in the house. Sylvia's dedication to healthy eating was working against him. "So are you hungry?" he asked again.

"Yeah," James sighed. "I'm starving. Sorry."

"It's fine. Stay there, we've got tons of leftovers."

"You uh...got some of that soup you made last week?"

"I don't. But if you stick around past morning, I'll make you some for your birthday."

James bit his lip and looked away. Logan ran upstairs and left him to his thoughts.

* * *

First things first. Brooke needed to know James was safe. While Logan was heating up a plate of homemade macaroni and cheese for James, he dug out his phone to text her and chuckled. In the ten minutes since he'd last looked at the display, Brooke had messaged him four times.

"_I can't find James. Or the boys. Have you heard from them?"_

"_Logan? Talk to me. Can you get hold of Carlos or Kendall?"_

"_Logan, this isn't a game! Don't you dare ignore me!"_

And then the last, which had come in only two minutes earlier: _ "LOGAN MITCHELL, CALL ME RIGHT NOW OR I WILL DRIVE OVER THERE MYSELF AND DRAG YOU OUT OF BED!"_

Time to put her mind at ease. _ "He's here with me. I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner, we were talking. He's safe, Brooke."_

"_He's with you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Where is here?"_

"_At the house. He's going to stay the night and we're going to talk. You have to trust me."_

"_So he's speaking to you now?"_

He was doing a lot more than that. Logan's body overheated when he thought back to the kisses they'd shared. _"Yes. We're friends again. I think he's finally ready to open up to me but I need time. Let him stay here tonight."_

"_You'd better call me in the morning."_

"_I will. If all goes well, we'll both be there tomorrow celebrating James' actual birthday. Please save him a piece of cake, he didn't get any."_

"_I'll save an entire tier. Just please get through to him, Logan. I want my son back."_

The microwave beeped. After testing the temperature of the food, Logan put it back in for another minute; he was still learning the contraption. _"I'm working on it. I promise I'll be in touch. Just let us have tonight."_

"_Fine. Tell him I love him."_

"_He knows that, Brooke. He loves you, too."_

Her response to that didn't come in until he was pouring James a glass of lemonade. _"Thank you for loving him. He needs you."_

"_I need him, too." _ It wasn't a lie. _"Goodnight."_

Just before carrying everything down to James, Logan decided the best way to handle Sylvia was more of the same: honesty. He texted her that James had come to the house and needed to talk because he was in the middle of a breakdown, then begged her and Papi to leave them be in the basement. She replied that she would and to let her know if she could help in any way.

_You really hit the lottery with this family, you know?_

Logan recalled James saying that and knew that it was true. He wouldn't be so quick to dismiss them once things were on track.

After pocketing a bottle of water for himself, Logan made the trek downstairs to James. It was time to do what he'd been sent here to do.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N—Getting this chapter up now because I don't know when I'll have a chance to next. It hasn't been reviewed by my editing friend, so hopefully there aren't any mistakes in it. Thanks for reading! I hope you're all safe and healthy.

* * *

"Oh my god, that smells_ so_ good."

James had flipped on the television and started searching for something to keep them entertained. After passing over the plate and glass, Logan grabbed the remote and powered it down.

"Hey, I was looking for something to watch!"

"You're not here to amuse yourself. We're going to talk."

James groaned but complained no further. He settled the plate over his lap and dug in, and Logan almost felt bad that he would be slowing down the process of eating because it was clear that James probably hadn't eaten since the banquet. He was practically inhaling the food. "Let's get this over with," he managed between bites. "Just say your piece so I can go. And don't get mad when I still take off once this is over. I told you, nothing you say will change my mind."

"I know," Logan replied, not daunted in the slightest. This was the crucial moment, the task he'd been entrusted with. He knew now that James did take his opinion deeply to heart; that knowledge bolstered his confidence. "I guess...let's start with the easy stuff. Mandy."

"I told you already," James answered through a large bite. "She's gone."

"Because you're leaving?"

"Mostly. She got on my nerves anyway. She kept trying to get me to stop hanging out with Kendall and Carlos. Like _that _was ever gonna happen."

"It will if you leave," Logan pointed out. "No more hanging out with them. No friends out in...where were you going? Hollywood?"

"I won't need friends there. It's all about finding work."

"And what about this school you were so determined to get into? Don't you need to graduate for that?"

James shrugged, scooping more food onto a fork. "I don't _have_ to go there. It was just an option."

"No, James. It was your dream."

"Dreams change."

He said it like he was discussing the weather. Logan sighed; they'd go back to that later. "So I understand why you broke up with Mandy, but I still can't figure out Denise. Since when are you into her? And how could you hurt Carlos like that?"

The fork's motion stopped. James let go of it to reach for lemonade and drink down half the glass. "I didn't plan that," was what he finally said. "She started it."

"I thought she liked Carlos."

"So did I."

Logan waited.

"She came over to me and told me she heard about Mandy. Asked if I needed to talk."

"And you said yes? To _her_?"

"No. I mean...it's...kind of a blur."

"Because you were drinking?"

"No!"

"Were you?"

"Earlier. A little bit."

"How much is a little bit?"

James' voice hardened. "Not that much, Logan, get off my back."

"Kendall said you were hiding in your room drinking."

James rolled his eyes before picking up the fork again. "It wasn't like that. You want the truth? I had half a beer. That's it."

"Really? That's all?"

"Yeah. I started drinking because I wanted to stop thinking. Seeing everyone there...knowing it was goodbye...I couldn't stand it. So I wanted to get wasted. But then I realized they might not let me on the bus if I'm wasted, or I might pass out and miss the bus. So I stopped. I just sat in my room thinking about everything, about how it would go down once I left."

"About how it would kill your mom."

"Stop saying that!" James yelled.

"No. It's the truth."

"God, I hate you sometimes."

Logan nodded, eyes downcast. "So you've said."

Now James set aside the plate, which was mostly empty, with another groan of frustration. He rearranged the blanket to cover himself fully after turning to face the chair. "Look. There are times when I really just want to...deck you. Really fucking hard. Mostly when you won't shut up."

"I know."

"I wanted to tonight. At the party."

"I know that, too. I saw it in your eyes."

"Yeah, I wasn't hiding it. But...Logan, the thing with you is...even when I get so mad that I want to make you stop talking...I never want you to leave."

Logan smirked. "Yet you scream at me to leave you alone, that you never want to see me again."

"Yeah well..." James rubbed the blanket over his face, probably to center himself. "That's because I hate the feeling. I hate wanting you. I hate _needing_ you."

"And you think leaving you alone is something I'm capable of?"

"Why haven't you? I mean, Jesus, Logan, I've treated you like...I'm actually ashamed of the things I've said to you. Why the hell would you keep coming back?"

"Because I love you." It seemed so simple to Logan. "And if I thought you really didn't need me or would be happier without me, I would've stepped away. I would've done what you asked. I can't, though. We have a place in each others' lives." _ At least temporarily._ "We need each other, and I'm not going to abandon you."

"What could you possibly need from me? You're smarter than me, you're a good kid who has a bright future, you're...what do you want to do with your life, anyway? I never asked."

_I'm doing it right now. _ "Um...I'm hoping I can get a medical degree and use it to teach. That's what I enjoy doing. Teaching."

"Ha. Well, you picked the right group of friends to hang around. We all need that."

Logan smiled.

"But with all that ahead of you, what is there that I could give you that you can't find anywhere else? I'll leave, you'll find some better guy to hook up with, one who won't scream at you and threaten to hit you, and you'll be happier. You know that, right?"

Logan shook his head.

"Logan, come on. I'm a piece of shit compared to what you could have."

"That's not true. You're so much smarter than you think."

"Stop saying that."

"No, because it's true. You just haven't tried. And do you know why you're the best person for me to be around?"

James didn't offer a guess.

"Because instead of hitting me, you kissed me. You wanted to deck me, but...you _kissed _me."

James shrugged, face hot. "I couldn't hurt you. Not like that. And...I've been dying to do that since you made me your fucking soup. That day we sat in the dining room and talked, and you made me soup like you actually cared..."

"I do!"

After letting that comment sink in, he replied, "I don't know. It just made me see you differently. And I wanted to kiss you. Tonight there was part of me that knew it would be my last chance, so...what could it hurt? I'm leaving. This won't go anywhere."

Logan swallowed hard; that was a truth he hated to live with. "You're right, it won't. But you need to understand that even if you stay, that will be the case. We can't be more than friends."

"And you think I can spend time with you and not kiss you again? That I could be satisfied with that? Knowing how incredible it is, feeling like I do right now, where I'm going crazy not touching you...you think I could live like that?"

"Yes." _I've been doing it since day one with you. _ "It won't be easy, but you can. _We_ can. Remember what you said earlier? That you could care more about me than your own future? We can't allow that to happen. Your future is the most important thing here."

"What about yours? I stay and you go off to some fancy university and I'm just stuck here without you? My mom passes and Kendall's gone to college and Carlos is too busy making new friends at a job or community college and what's left for me?"

"That's not how it's going to be, James."

"Yes, it is! My future isn't here. You agreed with me on that."

"I did. Your future is elsewhere. Your _present_ is right here. Graduating from Denfield, helping your mom through this...that's what you have to focus on right now. Your future will come later. I promise."

James shook his head, not wanting to think about his mom. It was time to go back to lighter subjects, at least for the moment. "We were talking about Denise. She wanted to talk to you."

"Oh. Right. She uh...she took me aside and seemed so worried about me, asked if I wanted to talk. I said no but she was kinda...pushy about it. Told me she would sneak a bottle of something hard and meet me behind the shed. At that point I really did just want to forget, even for an hour, because saying goodbye to Kendall and Carlos was harder than I thought it would be. They hate me now."

"They don't hate you."

"Whatever. So I said okay. When I got back there she didn't have anything. Said she'd tried but the bartender was watching so she couldn't. Then she said a bunch of shit I barely remember and kissed me. I thought..."

James couldn't meet Logan's gaze. This was going to hurt. "Go on," Logan prompted gently.

"I thought if tequila couldn't do the job, maybe sex would. She was definitely willing, promised not to tell anyone. There was a voice in my head telling me it would hurt Carlos, but she promised to keep it a secret and I was leaving anyway, so...I went with it. I let her kiss me again."

"Yeah. That much I saw."

Hazel eyes slid up to meet Logan's, then dropped again. "You know what the worst part is? I was thinking about you. Kind of...wishing. The truth is that since we stopped talking, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. It's driving me crazy. Every time I kissed Mandy, I felt like..."

This was wrong. This wasn't how the mission was supposed to go, James wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. At the moment, Logan didn't care. "Like what?"

"It's dumb."

Logan was practically breathless waiting for the rest. "Tell me. I need to hear it."

James closed his eyes and let out a breath. The words came easier when he didn't have to look at Logan. "Like I was cheating on you. We weren't even a thing, we were never a thing, but I felt like...we belonged to each other. That's stupid, right? We'd only known each other for two days but I felt like..."

"It's not stupid," Logan whispered. "I felt the same way. You wanted to kiss me Saturday, didn't you? Before the game."

"I came way too close that day. Mom was fucking right there, anyone could've seen, _Carlos_ almost caught us...but I couldn't fight it. I wanted it. I wasn't thinking. If I had been, I would've realized it was a mistake. Thank God Carlos came out when he did."

Logan remembered silently berating Carlos for the interruption. Maybe it _had_ been for the best, as the knowledge that Logan felt the same way would've had the same consequence Mandy's admission did—James would've run from his feelings. "Thank you for telling me this. I needed to know."

"What good does it do us? You said you wouldn't date me anyway."

"Would you date me?"

It was a long time before James answered. He looked away and said, "No. I'd want to, and I'd hate not being able to, but...no. I can't risk anyone finding out that I'm..."

"Gay?"

"I'm not gay."

"James—"

"Dude, seriously. I do like girls. If we have to label it, let's call it bi. That's more accurate."

Logan nodded. "Okay. I'm proud of you for saying it out loud."

James didn't seem to find anything in that to be proud of. "So what about you? You said there was a girl back home? That you were with?"

"Um..." What exactly had he said? Sometimes lying was tricky. "There's never been a girl. I just let you think it was a girl. It was a guy."

"Oh my god. So you've...been with a guy? Like...all the way?"

"All the way," Logan admitted.

"Holy shit. How was it?"

"It was...good. I'm not gonna lie about it, I enjoyed sex. I just...it wasn't my focus. I did it to know what it was like and because my body needed it, but it wasn't what I really wanted. Like you said, it satisfied me for awhile. And then I got to a point where I didn't have to have it, so I...haven't."

"How long has it been?"

Again, tricky ground. James couldn't know his true age. "A long time," was all Logan said.

"I'm jealous. I'm dying to know what it's like with a guy."

"Maybe one day you will."

"I could, you know." James' eyes were smoldering, as if a fire was burning just below the surface. "Right now. I'm leaving in the morning, Logan. We could do this and then just...move on."

Logan licked his lips. The offer was tempting enough to have him considering consequences before common sense kicked in. James wasn't leaving, and that would alter the future because Logan had a feeling once they had sex together, they wouldn't be able to just... "move on." He shook his head. "We can't."

"I have condoms, dude. We have privacy. What else do we need?"

"A little more than that for the kind of sex we'd have. But it doesn't matter, it's not going to happen. I'm not the guy for you to experience that with."

"Logan, come on. Who better to do it with? We care about each other, we want to be together, and you already know what you're doing. Just once, I'm begging you. I _need _you."

Logan closed his eyes against the pleading gaze, but that didn't block out the sound of James saying it again (_I need you)._ Or the feel of James' hands sliding up his thighs after James had slid across the carpet to kneel between Logan's legs. Logan's breath stopped.

"Show me," James whispered before his lips were on Logan's, hesitant and demanding all at the same time. It would be so easy, they'd make do and find a way, and there was nothing Logan wanted more than to feel James inside him. He'd dreamed of it for years.

_There is one thing you want more._ And was Roger really talking in his head _now_? _ You want to live. You want James to live, and if he gets distracted from his destiny, he'll die. We all will._

"Fuck," Logan muttered, pushing James away with great effort. "I'm sorry. I can't."

"I don't get it." The hurt in that tone was nearly impossible to stand. "I know you want me."

"I do. God, I've never wanted anything more than this." _ Except for you to live._ "But..." How to explain it without hurting James further or giving away the truth? "You're a minor!"

"What?" James sat back on his heels, brows furrowed.

"You're a minor! It's against the law!"

"So are you! That makes it legal."

_Shit. _ He'd forgotten that James believed him to be seventeen. "But I'll still be one! You're almost eighteen! You will be in..." Logan glanced up at a round clock hanging on the wall. "An hour."

"Then we'd better not waste any time." James started to peel the t-shirt up toward his head, revealing a muscled chest and a smattering of hair that Logan inexplicably wanted to lick.

_Don't look. Don't look at him, look away! _ Logan closed his eyes and reached out to halt the movements. "No. I'm saying no, and that should be good enough."

James' arms dropped, shoulders sagging. "Can you at least tell me why?" He was on the verge of tears, probably not because he was being denied sex but because Logan's rejection cut him deep.

"It's just...not right. It doesn't feel right."

James stood slowly before nodding. "Okay. I'll be back."

When he headed for the staircase, Logan panicked. "No! Don't leave, please don't leave, you promised me tonight to talk!"

"Dude, relax. I'm just going to the bathroom." He halted three steps up and looked back. "Swear."

Logan studied him, searching for the lie. "I'll stand guard at the door if I have to."

James rolled his eyes. "I swear, I'll be right back. I just need a minute. That um...it hurt."

"I know. I'm sorry, James."

"Give me a second to get past it, okay?"

Logan nodded. He let James go this time, head filled with a thousand visions of what might have been and whether or not he'd just ruined the chance to keep James in Duluth.

* * *

James took long enough in the bathroom that Logan went to knock on the door, glad nobody else was home. "You okay?"

"Fine. Why is it I can't use the bathroom in this place without you trying to break down the door?"

Logan grinned. "Because I care."

"Lucky me."

"I'll be downstairs. Want anything else from the kitchen?"

"Got any ice cream?"

"Not right now. I already checked."

"Ugh. Just get me more lemonade. That shit's amazing."

It_ was_ pretty good, and Logan wished he could take credit for it. He left James to himself and got rid of the plate that James was finished with, then poured lemonade for both of them and returned to wait in the basement chair. His ears strained to hear any sign of James attempting to sneak out, but eventually heavy footfalls sounded on the stairs and Logan relaxed.

James had been crying. It killed Logan to know he'd caused it. "You okay?"

"You already asked me that. I'm fine."

He wasn't, but Logan let it go. He waited for James to get comfortable under the blanket again. "Ready to talk?"

"Go for it, but I have to say that if I hadn't already made up my mind to leave, that would've done it for me. There's no way in hell I'm staying now."

"That's not fair."

"What, I'm supposed to face you every day knowing you don't want me?"

"James, I do want you! It's just not right!"

"So you said. Let's move on. What the hell else do you want to bore me with?" James sipped at his lemonade as if he really didn't care.

_Patience, Logan. This isn't over._ "Well, I was actually just sitting here thinking about that. You leaving."

"What about it? You gonna tell me it's a bad idea and I'm ruining my life? Because that's what Mom would say."

"Well, your mother would be right. But no, I was thinking about the fact that you were going to take off without saying anything to me. Were you really going to leave and let me think you hated me for the rest of my life?"

James looked away. His hand lowered the glass to his lap, fingers strained. "No."

"No?"

"No. I was gonna text you once I got settled out there. Tell you I was sorry and that it was for the best."

"I see. So you were going to apologize, but not until you were a safe distance away and I couldn't change your mind."

James bit his lip, still not meeting Logan's gaze. "Something like that."

Logan let out a breath. What a disaster that would've been. "You need to understand that I would've gone after you. That I will, if it comes to that."

James scoffed. "Yeah, right. You're a minor, you can't just take off."

"Watch me."

James' eyes flashed at the intense tone. He licked his lips. "You're serious."

"Completely."

After a moment, James set his glass on a side table and leaned forward. "You're telling me that you would leave this place, this family that has taken you in, just to...what? Hunt me down? Bring me back?"

"If I have to."

"No way. They'd never let you."

"I wouldn't tell them. I'm sure I wouldn't be the first foster kid to run away. But that's how it's gonna be, James. You go, I go with you."

"What the...you can't be serious!"

"I'm totally serious. I'll go upstairs and pack a bag right now. You're not doing this alone."

James stood up suddenly, the blanket falling at his feet. He ran a hand through his hair. "Why are you doing this?" he yelled. "You don't want me, but you refuse to let me move on from you. Why can't you just let me go?"

Logan kept his voice calm. "I've answered that question."

"Because you love me? Because you think I need you?"

"You already said you need me."

"Yeah, and never once did I hear you say it back. I don't need your pity, Logan. I don't need you to stop your life just to babysit me."

"It's not like that!" Logan was finally losing his composure. He stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. "I love you! What more can I say?"

"You can show it! You can stop treating me like some charity case who can't function without you and show me you love me for _me_."

It was baffling to Logan, who had spent the majority of his life loving this man for who he was. How did James not see it? "This is about sex? Because I won't have sex with you?"

"No," James sighed, losing the anger that had been fueling him. What was left was despair.

"You said you don't want a boyfriend, either."

"I don't."

"Then what do you want from me, James? Tell me and it's yours."

"I just..." James blinked a few times, enough to tell Logan that he was fighting tears. "I need to know that I'm special to you. That you can't find this anywhere else."

Logan knew what James needed. He walked over to James and let his lips do the talking, this time in silence. James responded eagerly, soaking in the love and devotion he felt behind the kiss. Logan allowed him to deepen it, not doing anything to stop the progression until he felt James move against him. As much as he didn't want to change the direction they were heading in, it was time for talk. "If I could find this anywhere else," Logan whispered, "would I follow you across the country?"

James fused their lips together again with a desperate sound.

"If you weren't special, would I still be here after the way you treated me?"

A hot mouth worked down Logan's neck. This was unfair, how was he supposed to fight this? "James...please..."

"_Yes_."

"No. No, answer the question." Logan forcefully stepped back. His neck mourned the loss of contact. "Would I still be here?"

"No," James panted. "Anyone else would've told me to fuck off and die."

"Yep. And if anyone else treated me the way you have, I would've done exactly that. And happily walked away."

They were quiet as James let that sink in. Footsteps sounded overhead, distracting them both; they were no longer alone in the house.

"So..." James finally said. "What you're saying is...I'm stuck with you? That no matter what I say or do, you won't leave me?"

"Yes." After another long pause, Logan asked, "So, what's it gonna be? Are we staying here to take care of your mom or are we abandoning her?"

James didn't reply, but Logan thought he saw the answer hidden in the depths of clear hazel eyes.

For the first time since he'd been pushed out of James' life, he felt real hope.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N—Hey, all. I hope everyone's healthy and doing well. This chapter is the second half of the long talk between James and Logan (with a few phone calls thrown in), obviously they had a lot to say. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it. :)

* * *

This time when they settled in for talk, Logan went to the sofa with James. He was aware it might not be the best idea, but they both needed to know they weren't alone. James opened his legs and held out his arms in invitation; Logan dropped down over James to gently snuggle in, at home nestled between James' body and the blanket that was thrown across him. James squeezed him closer and kissed his hair, but pushed it no further.

All in all, this was heaven.

"Ready for more talk?"

"If we must," James sighed. "I like this better, though. I can't see your face. Your judging eyes."

"James, I'm not judging you."

"Still. When you look at me I feel...naked. Like you see inside me."

Logan couldn't resist a kiss to James' shoulder for that. "I do."

"It's scary."

"I know."

"But also...safe. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah." Logan closed his eyes, at peace. "So you're staying?"

"I never said that."

"What can I say to make you stay?"

James deflected that with, "Have you talked to my mom tonight? Does she know I'm here?"

"She does. I didn't say anything about you wanting to leave, but I knew she'd worry when you disappeared from the party. She knows you're safe and that's all she wants."

"I could be safe in Hollywood, too."

"How? Do you have a place to live out there? A job?"

"I'll find those things. I'm not worried about it."

"You should be. That stuff doesn't happen overnight. Do you even have a friend to stay with?"

James held his silence.

"That's what I thought. James...there's nothing for you out there."

"My career is out there."

"Maybe, but not if you do it this way. Do it right. Finish school, get your diploma, decide then about this arts school you want to attend. Going out there now with no plan is going to be a nightmare."

"Can't be worse than staying here and watching my mom die," he said quietly.

And now, finally, he thought James might be ready to talk about this. "I know how hard this is for you."

"You really don't. Your parents went suddenly. You didn't go through this."

He had, but James couldn't know that. Or...could he? Maybe a twisting of the truth was in order. "Can I tell you something I've never told anyone else?"

James tensed under him. "Really?"

"Yeah. I never talked about it because...well, I was like you. I didn't want to face it."

"What, are you gonna tell me you knew the fire was gonna happen? That you could've saved them?"

"No. Nothing like that. But...my mom was sick before the fire. The fire got to her before the other thing did, and maybe that was a blessing."

James seemed to have stopped breathing. "You're serious?"

"Yeah. She didn't want anyone to know, like your mom. But we knew, and I never wanted to talk about it or think about it." Logan was going off instinct here. "I regretted that after the fire. So many things I wish I'd said before it was too late. I just don't want you to end up the same way."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"It's hard to talk about. Hard to _think _about. I'm sure you understand that."

James nodded, his jaw rubbing against Logan's scalp. "So what you said in the car that day, with Mom. About saying things before it's too late. That's experience talking."

"Yeah," Logan replied softly.

Logan felt James' body start to tremble under him. He rubbed James' arm with a warm hand. "I don't think I can do it," James mumbled. "I can't...what you said, you're right, it's gonna get worse and I can't..."

"You _can_. I won't let you go through it alone."

"But how do I...like..." He was breathing harder now, Logan feeling his chest move as he pulled in air.

"It's okay," Logan soothed. "It's just me here. Let it out."

"I just...it's hard to look at her. Because I _know_. Every time I talk to her all I can think is 'One day this is gonna end. She's dying. One day she won't...'" James fought to sit up, Logan letting him but not moving away as James struggled to breathe.

"One day she won't be here," Logan finished. All James could do was nod with tears brimming over. "I know how scary that is, but you have to look at it from her perspective."

"Hers?"

"Yeah. I want you to stop for a second and think about what she's feeling. Because when she looks at you, _she_ knows, too. It's running through her head, too. She knows she'll be gone and you'll be alone and I think that scares her more than anything else, more than even dying. She needs to know you're gonna be okay, James. She needs to _see_ it."

"But I'm not." Now the wall crashed down, sobs and fear coming out while James held on to Logan and buried his face in Logan's chest. "I'm not okay, this is never gonna be okay, how in the hell is this ever supposed to be okay?"

Logan's heart ripped in two as he held James and felt the powerful body breaking down. He didn't say anything for awhile because words wouldn't help James right now. James just needed to know he wasn't alone.

"Tell me, Logan," James finally gasped. "Tell me how I'm supposed to get through each day watching her die!"

"You watch her live instead. Every breath she takes right now is a victory. Every day she makes it through is cause for celebration. You don't focus on what she's losing, but what she's gaining—time with her son, time to see the beauty in life that most of us don't even notice because we're too busy worrying about the future. Share that with her. Laugh with her. Give her good memories to look back on in her final moments. Keep smiling, keep giving her your strength to lean on. And at the end of each day, after she's gone to sleep, you find me. Call me, come over, whatever you have to do, and _then_ you break down. _Then_ you take off the armor and let it overwhelm you. But for your mother, you stay strong and make sure she doesn't go through any of it alone."

"I don't know if I'm that strong."

"You are. If you let me help you, you are. You're not going to go through any of this alone either, James. I keep telling you, we are all here for you."

"But none of you are me." James used the blanket to wipe at his eyes. "Out of everyone, you're the only person who understands me and knows what I'm feeling."

"Which is why I'm not leaving your side." Logan kissed James gently. "I'm here."

"But...what if...what about when things get really bad? At the end? I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know anything about cancer."

"I do. I've studied it. I think if you studied it, too, you'd at least feel more in control because you can help your mother make decisions. You'll know what to expect. And when those things happen, you'll be prepared. If nothing else, it will help you cope better."

James sniffed in a breath, thinking about that. "Will you help me? Will you teach me?"

It was like the clouds opening up to let sunshine in on a rainy day. James was finally ready to walk down the path toward his destiny. "I'll teach you everything you need to know. We'll learn together and use the knowledge to make this as easy as we can on your mom. We can't cure her or make it go away, but we _can _make sure she suffers as little as possible."

James nodded. "This is the worst thing in the world, I swear. Do you think there will ever be a cure, Logan? A time when cancer just...disappears?"

Logan stared into James' eyes with a smile. "Yes, James. I do."

* * *

James needed another break. Logan led the way, keeping an eye out for parents before shoving James into the restroom and making his way to the kitchen, where Sylvia was loading the dishwasher.

"Honey, hi!" she whispered. "Is he here? Is he okay?"

"He's...he will be. We're going to stay downstairs for awhile still, if that's okay."

"It's fine! Brooke knows he's here, I promised we'd keep an eye on him. She said to just make sure you do that. Does he need anything?"

"He was asking for ice cream earlier."

Her face fell. "We don't have any right now. I try to keep it out of the house because Carlos goes crazy with it. And we didn't bring any cake home from the party, either. Oh! But we brought cookies! Carlos made us bring a bag home to keep around. Want those?"

"Better than nothing. Thanks, Sylvia." Logan hugged her, grateful yet again for her kindness. "I'll grab us some milk, too. By the way, he loved your macaroni and cheese. I didn't tell him it's all healthy ingredients."

"Shh, Carlos and Papi don't know that either. That stays between us." She winked while reaching up for two fresh glasses. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you. I'm hoping I can convince him to stay for the study session, so there might be one more for breakfast."

"He's always welcome, sweetie. Make sure he knows that. Though he might not want to study on his birthday, and even I can't blame him for that."

"Good point," Logan chuckled. He picked up the now full glasses and deftly pinched the baggie of cookies between two fingers. "See you in the morning."

"Goodnight, honey. Sleep well."

The bathroom door was open when Logan passed by. _Don't panic. He's not going anywhere. _

Still, it was a huge relief to hear Brooke's voice squawking from a speaker as Logan carefully padded down the basement stairs.

"Are you okay? Are you still at Sylvia's? Where's Logan?"

"He's here, Mom. We're here. I'm okay." James rolled his eyes at Logan before his face brightened upon spying the cookies. His eyelids were swollen from crying but otherwise he seemed to be back to normal. "I just..." He trailed off, unsure how to continue.

"What? You what, baby? James? Talk to me."

James closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. "I love you. I just wanted you to know that. Since I never say it."

"Oh, honey. I do know it. I love you, too. Please come home."

"I can't. Not right now. I need...I need time. Just...a little more time."

"Okay. I'm glad you called. When will you be home?"

Logan had just taken his spot next to James and halted in the process of passing over a glass, gaze fastened to James' face. He needed to hear the answer to this.

James didn't answer for long enough that Brooke repeated his name and asked again.

With an intense look at Logan, James said slowly, "Tomorrow. I'll be home tomorrow. Logan's coming with me."

Logan smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Just tell me what time. I saved you some birthday cake, and there's enough food left to make a smorgasbord! We'll throw you our own little party here. You never even opened your gifts, James."

"You know, Mom, for once I don't care about gifts. I just want to be home with you guys. That's what I want for my birthday."

Logan could practically hear the relief coming through the phone. "Then that's what you'll get. Do you want to invite Kendall and Carlos, too?"

"I'm not sure yet. Right now I just know I want Logan there. Um...I'll call you in the morning, okay? Get some rest."

"You're starting to sound like Logan."

James grinned while reaching out for the milk. "Eh, he's not _all_ bad. Just an annoying little fuck who never shuts up."

"James!" Brooke scolded as Logan smacked his arm hard. "That boy is the best thing that ever happened to you, take that back!"

"It's fine, Brooke," Logan replied. "He only said it because I'm sitting right here. Don't worry, I'll get him back with lots of study time. He's authorized me to be his teacher in all things."

"That's not what I said!" James argued. "Just that one thing!"

"You still have to graduate, you know."

James glared back. "Okay, so maybe I _do_ need help in other things."

"Brooke? We'll be there after tomorrow's study session. No later than one."

"I look forward to it. James? I expect you to enlighten me with everything you've learned from Logan. And there'd better be more to it than 'Logan's a master at kissing.'"

They both gasped, Logan almost spilling his milk.

"Mom, please! This is why I don't talk to you!"

Logan laughed nervously, wondering just what they'd discussed. "Brooke, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we're just friends. We talked it out."

"What? That's ridiculous, it's obvious you're both smitten."

"Smitten?" James echoed. "Who talks like that?"

"We're friends," Logan repeated. "It's for the best."

"We'll see how long that lasts," she said. "I'll expect you both at one."

"We'll be there. Goodnight, Brooke. Get some rest and call us if you need anything."

"Good lord, now there are two of you to deal with. I was better off when nobody cared."

"I always cared, Mom," James stated. "I'm sorry I didn't show it. I love you. Goodnight."

"Night, baby. Logan? Take care of my boy."

"That's my job," he grinned. "See you tomorrow."

Once she hung up, they stared at each other with no idea what to say. Five seconds later, they were both laughing so hard they had to set down the milk somewhere safe. Ten seconds into that, Logan was wrapped up in James' arms with his head on James' shoulder.

They'd made it through the storm.

* * *

"Are we sleeping here?" James wondered out loud when the silence got to be too much for him.

"We can, I guess. I'm sure Carlos' bed would be more comfortable for you."

"True, but Carlos' bed doesn't have you in it."

"It could," Logan smirked. "Or you could just sleep in my bed. Still not much room, though."

"We'll manage. If we share a bed, do I have to keep my hands to myself?"

"I'll allow cuddling. Like this."

James kissed Logan's temple. "I never thought this would be enough. Not that I don't want more," he added hurriedly. "If you ever change your mind on that."

"I won't. Think about how hard it would be to hide it, James. If we were officially dating, and making out all the time, and doing...other things. We'd never be able to hide how we feel about each other in public."

"I would. I've been hiding it for over a week."

"Okay, I can't argue that." Logan had to admit that James had fooled everyone. "We'll attribute that to your acting skills. But I don't have those, and the second a girl tries to get close to you, it will become very clear that you belong to me."

"Oh?" James grinned. "I kind of like the sound of that. What would you do?"

"Nothing, because it's not going to happen. You _don't_ belong to me, therefore you are free to date who you want. Problem solved."

James let that settle. "I do, though," he finally said in a whisper. "You know that, right? I_ do _belong to you."

They were words Logan had longed to hear from James since the time he would lie in the dark as a teenager and dream about moments like this. The fact that it was happening, it was actually _happening_, and he couldn't do anything about it... "I do," Logan answered, eyes closed and heart full of regret for the position he found himself in. "But..."

"Yeah, I know. You already said it can't happen."

"You know, James, maybe it would just be best for both of us to focus on school and graduating and...things you need to learn. Right now girls would be too distracting anyway."

"Who says it's a girl I'm after?"

"You don't want a boyfriend. You said that."

"Okay, fine. I don't. I just want you."

"Well, you can't have me. I want you but can't have you, either. We're in this together. We can do it, we can get through graduation and then decide on our next step. A lot of that will depend on where your mom is at that point."

"Yeah," James sighed. "I won't want to leave her if she's...you know."

"Right." Logan pressed his lips to James' collarbone.

"Are you gonna keep doing that? Because if we're going to make it through the next few months without acting on our feelings, there can't be any kissing."

"There won't be. Not after tonight."

James said nothing.

"I'm sorry."

"Will you kiss me once before we go to sleep? I mean a real kiss. Like the one we had behind the shed."

"That _was _a real kiss," Logan agreed. He'd experienced nothing like it before. And since he probably would experience nothing like it again... "Yes. One more. But it doesn't go further."

"Fine. Are we done talking here?"

"No, we are not done talking," Logan chuckled. "Why? Are you tired?"

"A little. What else is there to say?"

"We need a plan."

"A plan? For what?"

"A plan to get you in shape for graduation. Your mother said you could use study sessions, like the one I do with Carlos and Kendall."

James groaned. "Carlos told me about that. He said it was actually fun, but I don't see how that's possible."

Logan smiled. "You'll find out tomorrow morning. That's not enough, though. Not for you. How about we get together every day after school to do extra work with you? I'll help you with your homework, and we can spend some time learning about cancer, too." James tensed up underneath him. "We need to, James. For your mom's sake."

"I know. It's not gonna be easy learning about what her body will be going through. Or her mind."

"It'll help to be prepared, though. Can we do this?"

"Yeah. Can we do it at my place, though? Maybe have dinner with mom after?"

"Or before, considering you won't get home from hockey until almost six."

"Dude, hockey's done. We had the banquet, remember?"

"Oh. Right. I didn't even...of course." How had Logan not realized that? "Where's the trophy?"

"In my room."

"Good. Keep it safe. That's something you'll want to treasure for the rest of your life."

"I know. It means a lot to me. So...dinner, studying...maybe watching a little TV before you have to leave?"

"That would be nice." Logan snuggled in deeper. "Can you admit that you were watching 'Star Trek' because you missed me?"

"Hey, I was watching 'Star Trek' because it's a great show. It had nothing to do with you."

Logan lifted his head to look at James' face. "Liar."

James couldn't hold back a snicker. "Okay, maybe it had a _little_ to do with you. But it is a good show."

"I know. We can probably manage one episode each night before I come home."

"You should just move in. Mom could be your foster parent."

"No, not if she's terminal. And I couldn't do that to Sylvia, she really takes joy in having me here."

James shrugged. "Can't blame her for that. So...what are we saying here? We go to school, then you come to my place after and we do homework and study, then we have dinner with Mom and watch TV? Like...every day?"

"Every day. Weekends will be different, unless I don't see any progress. Then we'll study on weekends, too. But if you really try, we won't need to."

James seemed to get lost in his head.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"Just...how different school's gonna be. No hockey, you sitting with us at lunch, not seeing you at all except for that..."

Logan licked his lips. "You know, we do have a class together."

James frowned. "No, we don't."

"We do. I watch you every day and you don't even know it. You've never bothered to look around."

"You're lying."

"I'm not. I sit at the back of the class. Biology."

James sat up, pushing Logan off him. "Shut the fuck up. If you were in that class, I would've noticed you."

"Nope. You just stare at your desk and don't let anybody in. My first day there, Mrs. Simmons asked you to stay after so she could talk to you about how you're in danger of failing."

"Son of a bitch," James muttered. "The new kid. You're the new kid. I never even looked at you."

"I know. Let's change that, okay? We'll be biology buddies."

"Oh my god, that sounds so lame!" James laughed after rolling his eyes, though. "I'm so far behind, dude. I don't know how you think I'm gonna get my grade up to passing before graduation."

"We've got time. Not a lot, so we shouldn't waste it, but...there's time, James. You just have to want it and work for it." He hesitated, unsure whether it would be a good idea or a bad one to push this, but in the end he went for it. "Make your mother proud. Let her see you graduate before she dies."

James' eyes fell shut. Logan could only imagine the way his heart was breaking at the thought of it. "Okay. I'll do whatever it takes. Just...don't leave me. Help me, because I can't do it on my own."

A slow smile spread across Logan's face. "I'm right here, with you every step of the way. You'll make her proud, James."

James opened his eyes and swallowed. "That's all I want."

It was starting to overwhelm him again. James had come so far over the course of the evening, but everyone had limits. "Let's go to bed, okay? We can talk more in the morning."

Logan stood from the couch. He didn't get far; James reached out to grab his hand. "Can I ask one thing for my birthday?"

"Of course." Logan used both hands to cradle James'. "Tell me what you need."

"One day. Just one day without thinking about it. Or...not more than I have to. We can talk all you want Monday and every day after that, but tomorrow it's my birthday and I don't want to talk about my mom dying. Tomorrow let's just..."

Logan thought he knew what James needed. "Tomorrow is all about you. There's nothing I want to celebrate more than you."

James blushed, a rare shy side coming to the surface. "The things you say..."

"It's all true." He reached out to pull James up by both hands. "I'm gonna take the glasses and the cookies we never touched upstairs."

"Aww man, the cookies! We never ate the cookies!"

"There's time for that," Logan chuckled. "I'll meet you in the bedroom, okay?"

"Okay. I demand that we cuddle."

"I won't fight you on that."

"Good." After a brief press of lips, James headed upstairs. "Don't take forever. I might fall asleep."

Logan knew that wouldn't be the case—not with the promised kiss looming over them. "I'll be there."

He let out a breath once he was alone. He'd done it.

He'd _done _it.

Not only kept James from running, but set him on the course that would lead to his destiny. James would learn enough before graduation to write that assignment and all would be well.

_I did it, Roger. We're not out of the woods yet, but we found the path. We did it!_

* * *

The house was quiet when Logan carried everything to the kitchen. He saw the bathroom light on and knew it was James, so continued on and felt safe making a call since James was occupied. After setting the glasses in the sink, he stood in the dark kitchen and waited for an answer.

Kendall didn't sound sleepy at all. "Did you do it? Is he staying?"

"He's staying. He's gonna sleep over here tonight and take part in our study session, and then we're going over to his house to celebrate his birthday. Brooke invited you guys, too, but I'd wait and see what James wants. He might just want a quiet evening at home with his mom."

"Yes," Logan heard Kendall whisper, probably to Carlos. "He's staying." Then the voice was directed at Logan. "You are a miracle worker. I don't know what it is about you that he can't resist, but I'm so glad you came here when you did. How did you convince him?"

"Mostly guilt," Logan admitted. "Reminded him that his mother would die alone if he left. I also promised to help him through it all, so...I'm sorry, but he'll be spending most of his time with me. We're gonna do homework and studying after school every day. He has a lot of work to do or he won't graduate."

"No, I get it. We'll still get time with him, I'm not worried about it. And if he has to hang out with someone, I'd rather it be you than Mandy. So that's really over?"

"Completely."

"And he's not mad at you for wanting him anymore?"

Logan bit his lip, wondering how much to tell them. He heard the bathroom door open, then a few seconds later his bedroom door closed. Would James want them to know? Probably not, but then again he didn't know they were both accepting of same sex relationships. _ Yet. _ "He kissed me," Logan whispered, and excitement filled him as if it had been his very first kiss. "He admitted it, he feels the same way. But don't tell him I told you! You guys have to pretend you don't know anything unless it comes from him. Swear to me!"

"Holy shit," Kendall gasped. "I knew it. I _knew_ it! The way he talked about you...the way his eyes lit up...dude, I freaking _knew_ it!"

"Kendall, seriously. You guys know nothing."

"Yeah, fine. It's okay, I'll get it out of him. Probably tomorrow. God, I'm so relieved. He's staying, and he's got a good guy to be with who actually cares about him, and...Carlos, hang on, I'll tell you in a minute!"

"I need to go anyway. James is waiting for me in the room. He's tired, so..."

"That's cool, go take care of him. We'll see you in the morning. And Logan...thank you. I always thought I could handle James but lately I felt like I didn't even know him and maybe with your help he can come back to us. We really miss him."

"I know. I won't promise he'll ever be the same, because something like this changes people. But together we can help him through it and show him he's not alone."

"Yeah. Okay, goodnight buddy. Oh, Carlos says goodnight, too. And...what was that?" Kendall suddenly cracked up, then shushed Carlos as if he'd been the one to lose it. "Carlos said if you guys do it, don't do it in his bed."

"Oh my god, we're not gonna do it! We're not even together like that."

"Suuuuuure, buddy. Just keep it clean in Carlos' bed."

"I'm hanging up now."

"See you tomorrow!"

Logan shook his head as he ended the call. It was easy to forget sometimes that he was dealing with teenagers.

"Logan?"

It was called out quietly. Logan was drawn to the voice and the need he heard behind it—mostly for companionship.

"I'm here," he answered, smiling when he saw James' head peeking out the bedroom door. "I'm coming."

James pulled the door open to allow him entrance, now down to a t-shirt and boxers. "Where are we sleeping?"

"Anywhere but Carlos' bed," he smirked.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N—Not a lot to say about this chapter except that it wraps up the night of the party and the long discussion between James and Logan. Stay safe!

Oh and **Btr luverz**, I'm working on it! I usually post one chapter a week, though sometimes (like now) I surprise you with an extra. Enjoy! And thank you for letting me know you guys are liking the story!

* * *

While perched on the edge of Logan's bed, James watched Logan shimmy out of his jeans with such focus that Logan had to turn away. He swallowed and said, "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Scared. Desperate.

"Just to the bathroom. I'll sleep better with an empty bladder."

"Right."

Halfway out the door, Logan looked back with a smile. "I'll be back."

James nodded. "Okay."

When Logan returned to the room, it was to find James reclined in bed, the blankets pulled up to his chest but leaving enough exposed for Logan to know he'd removed the shirt. _No no no, that is such a bad idea. _ Logan cleared his throat and turned out the light. It was easier if he didn't see what he was missing.

_You'll feel it, though. All that warm skin pressed up against you._

He bit down on a whimper that wanted to break free.

"What's wrong?"

James knew him so well already, didn't he? How much time had they actually spent in each other's presence? Not enough that James should know him so thoroughly. "Nothing."

"Then come to bed."

That soft voice drawing him closer, it was like a rope trying to drag him. He licked his lips and peeled off his own shirt, leaving himself in what he hoped James was still clothed in—a pair of boxers.

"I won't...you know. Make a move on you. No matter how badly I want to."

Logan let out a breath; that helped.

"Or how badly _you_ want me to."

"You just _had_ to make sure that was mentioned, didn't you?"

"Hey, I can't be the only one suffering tonight."

Logan heard the grin behind the words and relaxed. James would keep his promise. He let the invisible rope pull him the rest of the way and slid under the covers that James held up for him. Before he knew it, he was settled against James' chest and wrapped in arms that made him feel safe in a way no one ever had, and silence fell between them as they enjoyed the feel of each other in such close quarters.

"Are you comfortable?" Logan finally asked.

"I am. This is nice. Just you and me together...you not talking for once..."

When Logan laughed, James joined in. Logan asked, "Do you really hate it that much when I talk?"

"Considering that ninety-nine percent of the time you're saying things I don't want to hear...yes."

Since Logan knew that to be true, he didn't argue. "And the other one percent?"

James pressed a kiss to Logan's forehead. "The other one percent...you're absolutely perfect."

There was no way Logan could let that comment pass. It meant too much to him that the man he'd always loved from afar now felt the same way about him. He lifted his face, lips running up James' neck and chin in a way that caused James to inhale sharply, and melded their mouths together. James shuddered, letting loose a whiny sound that weakened Logan's resolve. He pushed into James' mouth, James opening eagerly for him, while he let his hand slide up James' torso to feel the hair he'd been so entranced by before. James hummed then, obviously wanting more, and because Logan did too he pulled away just enough that their lips weren't touching.

James wasn't having it. He surged forward, not in a forceful way but so that his lips bumped into Logan's. Then he did it again. And again. It was as if his mouth was stumbling around looking for a place it could settle. Logan wanted it to find that place and stay forever. Over James' shoulder he caught sight of the clock on his nightstand. 12:01. "James," he whispered.

"Right here," James whispered back, those lips still exploring.

"James."

"Mmm."

"Hey." Logan pulled his head away and used a hand on James' chest to keep him from following. "Happy birthday."

That cleared James' lust-soaked brain enough to pause. "What?"

"It's after midnight," Logan smiled. "Happy birthday, James."

Wonder crossed James' face. "Holy shit," he murmured. "My wish came true."

"Your wish? You had a wish?"

"I had two." James laid his head on the pillow. Logan's own returned to its place against James' neck. "When I blew out my candles tonight. I knew I was leaving, but I wished for the impossible anyway."

"The impossible was us?"

"It was this. Kissing you. _Being_ with you. The two things I wanted for my birthday were to be with you like this, and for my mom to get better. One came true; do you think the other might, too?"

He sounded so hopeful that it killed Logan to know it wouldn't come to pass. "I can only help with one," he replied. "I'm sorry. I wish I could make the other come true, too."

"Hey, you did your part. The rest is up to Mom." James placed a gentle kiss to Logan's lips before settling down again. "I'm sorry I attacked you, but you started it."

"I totally did," Logan admitted. "It's fine, you asked me for a kiss before bed and you got it. You rang in your birthday with what you wanted most."

"A little full of yourself, aren't you?" James teased. When Logan didn't answer, he laughed. "I'm kidding, you are what I wanted most. I was just afraid to believe it would happen, and even more afraid that it would keep me here."

"You were right to fear that. It did."

"Yep." James blew out a breath. "And now I've doomed myself to daily study sessions with a nerd. How did that happen?"

"You got lucky," Logan grinned. "It's gonna be fine, James. Not always great, but you're gonna be okay."

"Just..."

"Yeah?"

"You said I'm stuck with you. That you're not leaving me alone through this."

"I'm not."

"Make sure it stays that way."

"I promise, James. I won't leave you as long as you need me."

The tension that had crept in dissipated; Logan felt James' muscles relax around him. Their earlier ardor dampened, they sank into that place of peace again. He wished they could sleep like this every night.

"So no more kisses?" James asked. "No more touching, no more holding hands?"

"Not after tonight."

James nodded. "I think that's best."

"Me, too."

"Just friends. Like...Carlos and Kendall."

In a way, Logan supposed James was right—they were two friends who wanted to be more but weren't. The difference was that they still had a chance to become that. "Right. Or like you and Carlos and Kendall."

"Fuck that, you're part of us now."

Logan was shocked by the feeling of excitement caused by those words. He'd never been part of anything outside of an academic nature. "Really?"

"Duh. They let you hang around, and I'm sure as hell not gonna chase you away."

"Not anymore, you mean."

"You know why I did that."

"I do. But I don't want to disrupt The Three Amigos."

"We'll find a new name. It's all good." James smacked his lips to Logan's temple. "You're one of us now. Get used to it."

Logan looked forward to it, at least temporarily. They'd fallen into silence again when Logan said, "Can I ask you something I've been wondering about for days?"

"What's up?" James was starting to sound drowsy.

"Out of everything this world has to offer, what is it about grilled cheese and chips that you love so much?"

"She told you about that?"

"Just that it was your favorite meal. I mean, is it something with the orange, and the tastes all work together? I've never had sour cream and onion anything, so I wouldn't know about that but—"

"You are the weirdest kid I've ever met."

_Kid. _ If James only knew. "Why?"

"You've never had sour cream and onion chips?"

"I told you, my parents didn't eat anything processed or...delicious."

"We'll fix that. Carlos and I can catch you up real quick."

"He's already started," Logan chuckled. When James said nothing else, he pressed, "So are you gonna answer the question?"

James countered with another question. "She didn't know? My mom?"

"No. She seemed as baffled as I am."

"Figures she doesn't remember," James sighed.

Logan's eyes narrowed. He boosted himself up on one elbow to stare down at James as well as he could in the dark. "Are you saying it has to do with her? It's not the taste, it's more...sentimental?"

"Don't make me sound like a pansy."

"Okay, that's our first lesson. Being sentimental or sensitive doesn't make you a pansy." _Whatever that means. _ Logan knew it to be a flower, but James made it sound derogatory so he felt safe stating that. "Tell me why that meal is so special to you."

"Stop looking at me and I will."

That was fair. Logan nestled into James again, enjoying the way James hugged him in. "Talk."

"Okay, so...when I was a kid, before my mom worked all the time and things got bad between them, we rented a camper and went on a trip."

"A...camper? You rented a person?"

"What? No, weirdo, a _camper_. Like...a big van. For camping. An RV?"

Still at a loss, Logan shook his head.

"Come on, like a big vehicle you drive out to a campground and live in while you're there."

"You mean camping like...going into nature? Getting away from cities for a day or two?"

"Right. Exactly. Ours was pretty nice, we had beds and a table and a fridge and a little hot plate thing. So Mom could cook, though she's never really been very good at that. But she made us all grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch every day we were there. With those sour cream and onion chips."

"And an orange," Logan guessed.

"And an orange. Every time I eat that meal, I'm right back in that place where things weren't perfect but they were close. Mom complained about the bugs and the dirt and how the campfire made her eyes burn, but she had fun. Laughed a lot. Dad...he would take me out to fish and we'd hike together on the trails. We went to a waterfall once. No, twice, because the next day we made Mom come and see. It was that beautiful. I remember sitting around that fire eating grilled cheese and chips, tossing orange peels into the flames, and listening to my dad tell me about times he went out there with his grandpa." James swallowed, and Logan knew he was getting choked up. "That's my favorite memory from childhood. That's why I eat what I do."

Logan attempted to soothe him with a kiss to the jaw. "Is there a drink that goes with it?"

"Sprite," James smiled. "We had cans of Sprite. Dad had his beer, but Mom and I mostly stuck to Sprite and water."

Logan would have to research Sprite, as it surely wasn't a type of fairy. "Does it have to be Mom who makes that for you? Or...could anyone?"

"You should try it and find out," James hinted. "But the soup comes first. I've been craving that soup for over a week."

"We'll make it happen," Logan promised. "I just have to remember what I put in it."

"That's not even funny. Don't joke about that."

"I'll find the recipe again." He closed his eyes. "Thank you for telling me that. I feel like it's something nobody else knows."

"You're right. Let's keep it that way."

"Your secrets are safe with me, James. We should get some sleep."

"Yeah. I wouldn't mind if morning never came, though."

"Yes, you would. It's your birthday!"

"True, but once we go to sleep, that's the end of our kisses."

"Then let me give you one more. Since I didn't buy you an actual present."

James let Logan join their lips before saying, "This is all I need from you." They kissed for as long as they dared, most of it gentle and soothing. "I'm really gonna miss this," James whispered.

"Me, too. Just focus on the future. On your mom."

James never replied to that. Instead he tightened his grip on Logan, and together they relaxed into an exhausted sleep that was nevertheless the best each had had in weeks.

* * *

The following Sunday morning fell like no other—Logan woke up with a warm body wrapped around him. He felt James pressed up against him from behind and for awhile didn't move; it was everything he'd dreamed of.

_Well. Almost everything._

He didn't let the absence of sex ruin what was the best night of his life. He'd never truly believed he'd get even this, considering his mission was to guide James from afar. This was the furthest thing from "afar" he could conceive of, but there were no regrets. There couldn't be with James' arm around his waist and James' breath against his hair every few seconds.

Eventually James woke up enough to shift to a more comfortable position. Logan followed, turning onto his other side and pulling James toward him. He liked the feeling of being the protector, of knowing James was safe in his arms. James apparently liked it, too; he let out a quietly content sound and burrowed closer to Logan before dozing again.

"Happy birthday," Logan whispered. There was no answer. That was okay; he'd let James sleep while he just enjoyed the time in bed doing nothing. There was no book that could compare to this.

His thoughts turned to their situation, or rather _his_ situation. He felt James was safer now that he knew they'd be spending most of their time together, yet since the trophy had been won he also knew the danger had increased.

Or had it? The trophy needed to be in the house where James would eventually reside, far from Duluth. So James had to live long enough to get it there, right? But the enemy couldn't afford to wait for that because by then, the "damage" would be done. His formula would be known and their plan foiled. Maybe he was placing too much emphasis on the trophy.

_They have the yearbook photo, Logan. That tells them where he is, too. _

But the yearbook wasn't published yet. And now that he thought about it, he realized they knew the name of the school only because Mrs. Simmons would tell them that. In the information she would send in (in James' name, of course), she'd include his yearbook picture.

The whole thing gave him a headache. So many "what ifs" and fears that every move he made could ruin the future. Were there alternate timelines or just one that he had to worry about? It was too much to think about on a perfect, cozy Sunday morning with James in his arms.

_You have to think about it, though. The enemy might be here. Possibly right under your nose. You have to protect him. And if you can't, have Kendall and Carlos do that. _

But that would mean letting them in on the truth, and Logan wasn't allowed to do that. He was on his own.

Or...was he? What if there was a way for him to plant the idea in their heads that James was in danger? Then they'd protect him. It would be three people doing that job instead of just one, who admittedly wasn't very strong.

He couldn't just come out and say "I think someone might want to kill James." They'd think he was insane, because they didn't know what he did; they didn't know James was going to save the world. And he couldn't tell them that. So how to go about this?

_Use your brain, Logan. It's your best weapon. _

First he had to figure out who the enemy was. He'd toyed with the idea of it being Mandy, and that was still possible. James breaking up with her at least decreased her opportunities to harm him. But if she'd been here since the beginning of senior year, why wouldn't she have done something by now? Even if she'd waited for James to officially date her, she'd had more than a month at her disposal. Plenty of time to do it, and from what Logan had heard, plenty of _that_ time alone with him. It made no sense to wait until Logan showed up, when it would be harder. Then again, she might not know Logan was sent here to stop her. There was no guarantee that the enemy had known, it was just an assumption on the team's part.

Still, why wait so long? Mandy had had more than enough time and chances. He'd keep her on the list (and away from James), but he had to expand his choices. Who else was James close to?

The members of the hockey team fell to the bottom of the list as well, for the same reason—they'd had ample opportunity. Now that hockey season was over, even less. And James seemed to like them all, from what Logan was able to pick up, but none other than Kendall and Carlos had gotten close to him.

James' world was actually pretty small, which was surprising for someone so intent on being famous. While he had many admirers, there were only a few he allowed into his inner circle. The Knights, The Garcias, his mother...

_Me._

That was something to be proud of; he'd made it into the inner circle. It was a damn good thing he _wasn't _out to hurt James, because it would be too easy.

It could be a teacher. Someone who hadn't attempted to get close to James. That opened up another set of possibilities Logan didn't want to think about unless he had to. It could be _anyone_.

The truth of that made him panicky, so he shied away from it for the moment to focus again on who else might be close to James. Really, there _was_ no one else. James trusted very few people. He didn't allow others to be near him or get close. Now that Mandy was gone, that left no one outside of him and family, so perhaps the enemy hadn't made a move yet. Maybe it would be someone who would take advantage now that Mandy was no longer standing in the way.

Someone like Denise, who had apparently fooled them all into thinking it was Carlos she wanted. The second James was free, though, she'd swooped right in to "console" him. She'd tried to get him drunk, which hadn't worked, and then attempted to get him away from everyone. Alone.

Logan sat up fast, heart racing. What did he know of Denise? Not much. Logan's first day in Duluth, Carlos had mentioned her as someone who was "giving him looks." In person, she'd seemed to have eyes only for Carlos. She'd given him her phone number the night he'd joined them to see James home safely. By all indications, Carlos was her goal.

And yet...she'd done nothing to directly move that relationship along. Every time she'd interacted with Carlos, James was around. She seemed to spend a lot of her time with Mandy and Mindy. But how long had that been going on? Had they always been friends, or only since Mandy started dating James?

The smartest thing to do in the enemy's position would be to gain the trust of those closest to the target. Logan had done that, purposely inserted himself into James' inner circle and it had worked like a charm. If the enemy was female, though, it wouldn't be quite as easy. She'd have to go a more indirect route because James had girls throwing themselves at him on a daily basis; it was like being a needle in a haystack. In the future, no one had any idea that James had leanings toward men. Sending back a female to manipulate him would have seemed a good idea to the other team.

_And if I was in her position, I'd do exactly what she's done; if I couldn't get close to him, I'd get close to the people he's closest to. The ones he trusts. I'd befriend the girlfriend and try to be near the best friends. And then I'd wait for the chance to take someone's place. I'd strike at the earliest opportunity, like when he dumps the girlfriend._

It worked. The idea worked in Logan's head. This didn't mean for sure that Denise was sent from the future, but she was doing all the right things to accomplish the task the enemy was sent to perform. She'd almost had her chance last night, hadn't she? She'd come so close. Logan would bet that was the first time Denise was alone with James.

And he'd ruined it for her.

Logan gave himself a mental pat on the back. If Denise was the enemy, he'd saved James without even trying.

It wouldn't do good to focus solely on one person, though. He had to keep his mind open to everyone as a danger to James. If Denise was a suspect, then so was Mindy, who was actively trying to win Kendall over in the same way.

_What if there are more than one of them? What if the others sent back an entire team to do the job?_

That was too much for Logan to contemplate so early in the morning. It was an overwhelming idea. He laid down again, James humming in his half-sleep and dragging him closer once he was settled.

Enough heavy thoughts for today. It was James' birthday, and they were going to enjoy it.

* * *

Logan was dozing lightly when the buzz of his phone interrupted his peace. He picked it up off the nightstand to see Carlos was texting. _ "R u guys awake?"_

"_I am. James is still asleep. When are you coming home?"_

"_Moms picking us up now. Keep James in the room til we say he can come out."_

"_What if he wakes up and has to pee?"_

Logan waited longer for the answer, imagining Carlos thinking it over. _ "Kendall says distract him."_

A smirk lifted Logan's mouth. Yes, he knew how to distract James. They were supposed to be done with that, though. _"Why?"_

"_Its a surprize. C u soon!"_

_Surprize. Oh, Carlos. We'll have to work on your spelling and grammar next. _ Logan was smiling, though. He'd come to adore his new brother and took a moment to thank the future team for giving him something he'd never known he was missing—family.

"Whozat?"

Logan jolted at the unexpected sleepy voice in his ear. James shifted closer to nestle his face into Logan's neck. "Hmm?"

"Mom? Is Mom already bugging you?"

"No." The press of lips to the back of his neck sent shivers down Logan's spine. "Kendall asking what books he needs to bring for the study session." He returned his phone to the nightstand, face down.

James opened one eye long enough to peek at the clock. "They're up early."

His voice was gravelly in a way Logan had never heard. It was a sound he wished he could wake up to every morning. "I'm sure that was Sylvia's idea. She probably has a lot to do today and wanted to get them home before she starts it all."

"Mm." James dismissed the subject and scooted even closer to Logan, who bit his lip at the feel of all that muscle and power against him.

"Carlos was right. You_ are_ a bed hog."

"He said that?"

"Mm-hm."

"Want me to back up?"

The tone suggested that James knew better and was very aware of Logan's enjoyment of their current position. Logan kept quiet.

"That's what I thought," James smiled. His lips explored Logan's neck again, feather-light kisses traveling from one side to the other before moving toward his shoulder.

"James," Logan whispered. "We're done with that, remember? Last night was it. I can't..." He groaned when James' mouth fastened harder to the skin and applied a sucking pressure. Logan was definitely awake now.

The pressure let up. "We haven't left the bed yet. This is still part of last night."

"And we still can't have sex." But holy crap, Logan wanted to.

"Who's talking sex? I'm just exploring while I can. I'll follow your rules once we get out of bed." He moved away to forcefully roll Logan onto his back, then "explored" the terrain with his mouth. Logan's stomach quivered with each touch.

"James..." Logan gasped. "Please. I'm loving this, you _know_ I'm loving this—"

"I'm definitely aware of that." James moved so that his cheek caressed the part of Logan that was most awake.

"James!" He shot back toward the headboard, sitting up to put distance between them. "Please. I'm sorry, you know I want this but I can't...I only have so much willpower, okay? We don't have a lot of time left to be together, can't we just—"

"I know we don't." James was somewhere between hurt and desperate. "That's why I'm getting what I can now."

"And I'm telling you that the more you get now, the harder it will be to resist later. Trust me on that. It's better to not know what you're missing."

"So what, I'm just supposed to never have sex? I'm going to live my life always wondering what I'm missing with a guy?"

"No, of course not." It pained Logan to say it, but he added, "There will be someone for you, I'm sure. Later. After high school, after you take your next step. And nobody has to know about it. For now, though...we've talked about it. Graduation needs to be your focus."

James stared at him for a long time, eyes a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions he kept under lock and key. "Do you want me, though? At least tell me that. If I was somebody else, would you still say no?"

Logan's heart cracked. He reached out a hand to gently pull James closer until their faces were almost touching. "There_ is _nobody else, James. You are the only thing that matters to me in this world."

James licked his lips. "I don't know how that's possible, but when you say things like that...I believe it. I see it in your eyes, you actually mean it."

"With all my heart."

This time when James kissed him, Logan allowed it. James settled between Logan's legs, and though each of them wanted more, the kisses were enough. "I love you," Logan whispered after a time. James was too overwhelmed to answer the truth he heard in the words, so he expressed his reply without them.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N—Welcome to another chapter already. After this one I'll probably go back to posting just once a week, though it depends on how much I get written over the next week. Hopefully it's a lot! And I hope everyone is safe and healthy while we deal with all these transitions in our everyday life. Thank you for reading!

* * *

There was no telling how long they laid together in bed, mouths fused together in what shifted to lazy kisses after awhile. They probably would have never stopped if not for a light knock at the bedroom door.

"Boys? Are you awake? Breakfast is ready!"

James' stomach grumbled so loudly that Logan laughed. "Shut up," James hissed, causing Logan to laugh harder. James smacked his shoulder before yelling, "We'll be right out!"

Logan sobered quickly, remembering Carlos' order to keep James in the room until given the signal. How was he supposed to—

Carlos' voice answered that question. "Hurry up, guys, we're starving and Mom won't let us eat until you get up!"

"Well, there goes our peace and quiet," James smirked.

"Oh please, you love him."

"I do," James sighed. He laid his head on Logan's shoulder. "I really would've missed him a lot if I'd left."

"I'm glad you didn't."

James smiled and kissed the tip of Logan's nose. "Me, too. That may change once I see Mom again, but for now..."

"Yeah."

"You guys, come on already! We got pancakes out here!"

Carlos was right outside the door now, and sure enough his fist connected with the wood to start pounding on it.

James scowled. "Oh my god, we're coming! Keep your pants on, jerkface!"

The pounding stopped. "Thirty seconds or I'm busting in!"

"Did I really say I'd miss him?" James murmured. "I take it back."

Logan chuckled and threw James off of him. "Come on, I'm hungry, too. And I need to pee."

"No way, I call dibs on the bathroom!"

Logan had no idea what "calling dibs" meant, but assumed he'd lost the right to the bathroom until James was finished. "Fine, but hurry."

The pounding started again.

"I'm gonna kill him," James warned. "Right now, you're gonna see this happen, I'm five seconds away from—"

"Carlos!" Logan yelled. "Move away from the door if you want to live long enough to eat those pancakes! We're coming out now!"

"Okay! I'll be in the kitchen!"

Logan shook his head with a roll of his eyes. "I'll see you out there." He reached for the doorknob, hesitating when James said his name.

"Logan." James waited for Logan to look back. "One more."

"What?"

"Once we leave this room, that's it, right? We're done? You and me, none of this happened?"

Logan's face fell. "Of course it happened. I'm never going to forget it. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I just..." He swallowed, seeming to reach inside for courage. "Can I just kiss you one more time before we...move on?"

There was no hesitation. Logan crossed the carpet until they were face to face, his arms lifting so that he could lose his hands in that luxuriously shiny hair. "I do love you. Don't ever forget that."

James' head moved in a quick nod, and then his mouth pressed down to cover Logan's. Neither rushed this kiss, knowing it would have to last them forever. When it was finally done, Logan was so dazed he could barely open his eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you," James whispered. "Every time I look at you, I'll remember this kiss."

Logan would remember it even without the visual reminder of James' presence. He hated to bring the moment to an end. "Let's go get some breakfast."

They both knew it was more than that, it was closing the book on a short chapter of their lives each wished they could read every day. Some stories only needed to be read once, though, because they were so good they lived on in memory forever.

Logan knew this would be one of those stories. He opened the bedroom door to face the next chapter.

* * *

They parted ways at the bathroom. Logan heard the door close and felt strangely bereft, as if half of his soul had departed and would never return. He was back to doing this on his own, or at least from a distance. It wouldn't matter that he and James would be near each other every day; for all intents and purposes, they would be miles away.

Logan shook off the sadness and continued toward the kitchen, where he could hear loud whispers followed by "Shh, they're coming!" Only then did he remember there had been mention of a surprise. He grinned and peeked into the dining room.

There had obviously been a trip to the store on the way home. The walls were decorated with streamers and a banner that read "Happy Birthday!" Someone had written James' name underneath the words. Carlos and Kendall were wearing old-fashioned party hats, cardboard cones strapped to their heads. Logan snickered at the sight, causing Kendall to look up and offer a deadly, "Laugh and you'll be sorry. It was Carlos' idea."

Sylvia appeared from the kitchen bearing a plate of bacon that made Logan's mouth water. She too was wearing a hat. "Where's James?"

"Bathroom. Do I get a hat?"

"Papi!" Carlos called out in a badly-attempted whisper. "Bring the other hats!"

While Logan waited, he continued to peruse the table. Two tall stacks of pancakes, one at each end. A platter of scrambled eggs. Two pitchers of orange juice. A mountain of what looked like fried potatoes. And of course, the bacon, which was set down between a can of whipped cream and...

"Is that ice cream?" Logan wondered.

Sylvia shrugged. "You said he wanted some and...it's his birthday. I couldn't resist."

"And look!" Carlos exclaimed. "Chocolate chip pancakes!"

Logan held out a hand for the hat being passed to him. "He's going to cry. You guys are going to make him cry."

"Crying's okay if it's for a good reason!" Papi clapped Logan on the back. "Morning, son!" That was followed by a one-armed hug, which Logan returned with a smile. He was getting more used to the outward affection every day.

"Morning, Papi."

"Logan, hurry!" Carlos hissed. "Put on the hat before he gets out here!"

Kendall gestured for him to join them on the other side of the table. After donning the hat, Logan did. James would be facing a wall of love and support the moment he stepped into the kitchen, and it would overwhelm him.

Logan couldn't wait.

"Hold on, let me get my phone!" Sylvia started toward the kitchen.

Logan knew what she was planning and his ever-present fear of harm coming to James kicked in; there could be no more saved memories until after the assignment was turned in. "There's no time!" he argued. Luckily just then they heard the bathroom door creak open. "He's coming!"

The group waited in silence. James was rubbing his eyes as if just waking up while rounding the corner. Logan had time to wonder if he'd been crying, then his thoughts were drowned out by screams of "Surprise!"

James halted, hand falling away to reveal wide eyes. He took in the hats, the walls, and then the table, too shocked to speak.

Carlos moved first. "Happy birthday, dude!" He ran forward to tackle James with a hug. "Can't believe you're an official adult now! So crazy!"

After returning the hug, James' gaze searched out Logan. "Is this your fault? Did you do this?"

"Nope. I'm as surprised as you are."

"It was Carlos' idea," Sylvia smiled. "I mentioned stopping at the store for ice cream, and Carlos turned it into a breakfast party. You can thank him."

James surveyed the table again. "Ice cream?"

"Yep!" Carlos grinned. "And we got chocolate chip pancakes, and whipped cream! And look at all the food!"

"Which is getting cold," Papi reminded them. "Come on, sit down and eat!"

James made a beeline for Kendall instead. Before he could take a chair, James dragged him into a hug. Kendall's arms squeezed tight around his waist. "I'm glad you stayed," Logan heard him murmur. "We'd miss you like crazy."

Logan could tell that James was barely holding on; Kendall seemed to reach a part of him that few could, and rather than be jealous it made Logan happy to know James was finally opening up. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been such a dick. It's just so hard knowing—"

"Shh. We'll talk later. Carlos did this to make you happy, so...be happy."

James wiped his eyes on Kendall's shoulder. "Fucker. He made me cry."

Kendall laughed and patted James' back. "I won't tell. Now sit down before he takes all the food."

James looked for Logan then, who gestured at the chair between himself and Kendall. "I snagged you a few pancakes."

"You're the best," James chuckled. He cleared his throat and settled in. Before he could even think about food, Kendall passed him a party hat. "Uh no, I'm good."

Kendall leaned closer to say, "If I have to, so do you. Do it for Carlos."

James sighed but fastened the hat over his head and secured it in place. In truth, Logan didn't think he minded all that much. After everyone was loaded up with food (James having two scoops of ice cream over his pancakes), Logan rested a hand on James' knee. "Happy birthday," he whispered.

Through a bite of potatoes, James replied, "I know it won't last, but right now it feels like the best birthday I've ever had. Thanks for not giving up on me."

Logan shook his head. "Never."

* * *

Katie's prediction proved true on a deeper level with James' added presence—it was almost impossible to get the three of them to focus during the study session. Part of that was because everyone was hopped up on sugar from chocolate chips, ice cream, and whipped cream. Logan figured the rest was just their normal inability to be responsible when teamed up together coupled with the fact that they'd come so close to being separated forever; Carlos and Kendall seemed happier than usual to have James in their midst.

Not that Logan was any different in that aspect. He too had come close to losing James. Would he have truly traveled across the country in search of James? Yes. His duty (and his love for the young man) would have left him no choice. It would have cost them precious time, though, and he was grateful it hadn't come to that. Mostly he was just grateful James was speaking to him again.

An hour into the session, Logan almost gave up. Kendall must have sensed his frustration because he attempted to corral the other two into being serious. Just like with Carlos before, when they started to go off track Kendall got them back where they needed to be. Logan knew that if it had been just him and James (and it would be, soon enough), he could've handled it on his own. Carlos and James together, though...

That required a sterner hand. Logan was beginning to get a sense of the dynamic between The Three Amigos now that he was spending time with them all together, and Kendall was definitely a leader of sorts. Logan found it interesting that James, who by Brooke's own words was desperate to be the star always, allowed Kendall that position. It couldn't be denied, though—when Kendall put his foot down, James acquiesced.

That might come in handy later.

For today, it didn't solve the problem entirely but it helped Logan to keep their attention long enough to complete assigned homework. Since it was James' birthday, he told them they were free to have fun once that was done; they could pick up the extra studying the following weekend.

"Hang on," James argued. "I was promised some sort of game. Carlos said you made this fun. Where's the fun, Logan?"

One of Logan's brows shot up. "You're serious? You want to keep studying?"

"I want a chance to leave these jerkfaces in the dust."

"Oh yeah?" Carlos countered. "You didn't see me last week, bro. I was on fire. I kicked Kendall's ass!"

Kendall jumped in. "Hey, it was a close call. Don't make it sound like you smashed me into the ground."

Carlos offered a smug smile, arms crossing over his chest. "I will this time. Logan? Let's do this."

Logan blinked at all of them in shock. They'd been given a chance to walk away from studying and do something more fun, but they would rather stay and learn. James was staring back in challenge. Kendall was smirking as if he knew what Logan was thinking. He winked at Logan before nodding once, as if to say "You're welcome." And then Logan remembered that it had been Kendall who had come up with the idea of making it a game. He owed Kendall. "Well, okay. But the only way this is going to help all of you is if I quiz you each on the subjects you need help most in. Carlos? We're still working on history so we can bring your grade up to a B. Though I think next week I'll throw in some grammar and spelling too, because you really need work there."

Carlos frowned, his face falling like a sad puppy. Kendall reached over to nudge him. "It's okay, dude, we'll help you. You got this." The sad puppy look disappeared in a flash, Carlos beaming at Kendall.

"Kendall," Logan continued, "your subject is—"

"Math, I know," he sighed. "Mom's been on my ass about it."

Logan nodded. "James, we haven't talked much about your grades outside of biology. Do you need help anywhere else?"

James shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "My grades aren't the best anywhere, but that's because I haven't really cared. Mom says if I did, I wouldn't have so many problems. She thinks I'm smarter than I act."

"I happen to agree with her on that. Today we'll focus on biology, and then during the week I'll get a better sense of where you're at on everything else."

"Okaaaaaay," he replied, obviously dreading it all.

Logan hid a smile; James was truly adorable. "So pass me your books and give me a few minutes to figure out what exactly I'm quizzing each of you on. Now's a good time for a bathroom break."

"Or a snack break!" Carlos exclaimed. "I haven't eaten in like...two whole hours!"

"Oh, you poor thing," Kendall teased. "You must be starving."

"I am!"

"Come on, let's make sure you don't waste away." With an amused glance back at Logan and James, Kendall slid an arm around Carlos' waist and led him toward the kitchen.

James smiled over at Logan, who was paging through a math book. "You know, you're really amazing."

"Huh?" Logan gave him a distracted look before returning to his work.

"You've got Carlos excited about learning. _Carlos!_ That's almost as impossible as getting me excited."

"I don't believe that. You said yourself that the stuff Mrs. Simmons talks about is interesting."

"Sometimes," James admitted. "The human body really is kind of fascinating when you think about it. The way everything works together. Like a big machine, you know? With lots of gears."

Logan's finger had been running down a page. It slowed to a stop before he gave James his full attention, hope fluttering like butterfly wings inside him. "Yeah. It's definitely fascinating. Especially when you get deeper into the cells and understand how those work. Cells are really the building blocks. They determine pretty much everything."

"I don't know a lot about those."

Logan's mouth slowly curved into a smile. "You will."

"Hey James, we found some cookies Mom was hiding! Happy birthday, dude!"

The moment gone due to Carlos' outburst, James looked up in time to catch a bag of chocolate chip cookies heading his way. "Right on! Now we just need some milk!"

"Kendall's bringing that. Oh, but he'll need help. I'll be right back!"

Carlos was gone again. James bit his lip while staring at the bag. "Are these the ones from last night? That we forgot about?"

"Yeah. We were a little distracted last night."

James nodded. He opened the bag and slid a cookie out. "Last night...that was a good night."

Logan said nothing, lost in memories of kisses and caresses.

"Here. Have a bite." James pressed the cookie against his lips. Logan accepted it, taking a large chunk before James did the same. "So...what's the prize?"

"Hmm?" Logan was back to that dazed state he'd been in when James had kissed him last. His brain couldn't seem to focus on anything else. Or maybe it was the way James was speaking, in a soft murmur that brought back more of the night before.

"What do I win? If I beat them?"

Oh. Right. The challenge. The game. The _studying_. Logan cleared his throat. "I buy dinner for the winner one night. At Good Eats."

"Oh hell yeah. I'm so winning that. They have the best burgers!"

Kendall and Carlos were suddenly in their midst, and the trance was completely broken. Logan looked away from James. Math was what he needed to think about. Math and history and biology.

Just not _James' _biology. Because that was the bad place. That was the place his mind was not allowed to go.

_Roger, give me strength here. I'm only human!_

Roger had no words to give this time. Logan was on his own.

* * *

It was a close race between Kendall and James for the finish, but Kendall was the victor. Probably because Carlos hadn't been doing a lot of studying throughout the week, he'd forgotten much of what he'd learned previously. Kendall seemed to be better at retention. James, on the other hand, remembered because it was a subject that did genuinely interest him (as much as it was possible for a school subject to do that) and he surprised himself with his own knowledge. Kendall tried harder once it was obvious Carlos was out of the running and beat James by one point for the win.

Logan wondered if that would've been the case had he been up against Carlos at the end, and thought for the first time that Kendall had probably let Carlos win the previous week. He should've seen that at the time. Or maybe it was just that Kendall knew less about history than Carlos; today he'd been quizzed on math.

Either way, Kendall was victorious and made sure to rub their faces in it by listing his future order at the restaurant. Carlos reached over to shove Kendall out of his chair with a "Shut up already! We get it, you won!"

"Oh, like you didn't run around the house screaming about being number one for a freaking _hour_ last Sunday!" Kendall barely saved himself from hitting the ground. "You are so paying for that."

A hand on Logan's knee caused him to look over at James, who was showing him a text that had come in earlier. _ "Are you boys still coming over at one?" _Logan noted the current time as just after noon and nodded. "Tell her we'll be there," he whispered. "Do you want them to come?" He saw the hesitation on James' face. That was all he needed to know. "It's fine, they'll understand. Let's pack up here and get ready." Logan stood up and grabbed his biology book, which they'd used for James. "Go on," he urged gently, seeing that James was feeling bad about leaving his friends out. "I'll be there in a minute."

Kendall and Carlos had been paying them no attention, too caught up in an argument over who was going to win their rematch, which would take place on a gaming console. Once James left the dining room, though, Kendall asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Brooke is asking when we're heading over there. I know you guys want to celebrate with him, but I think—"

Kendall cut him off with a shake of messy blond hair. "Don't worry about it, that's why we had the party this morning. We know he needs time with his mom."

"Yeah," Carlos nodded. "That's the whole reason I made Mom do a party instead of just breakfast. I figured you guys would want time alone."

"It's not that," Logan started, "it's more about Brooke. They really do need to talk and I think he's finally ready. The only reason I'm going is because he asked me to be there." Which made Logan feel like he was bragging. "I mean...not that he wouldn't want you guys, it's just—"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Logan, we get it. You're special. It's fine, neither of us is jealous."

"Yeah, it's not like we want to make out with him. We'll let you have that," Carlos teased. Before Logan could respond, he added, "Did you guys stay out of my bed?"

"Nothing happened!" Logan hissed. "We slept in my bed. We just...kissed a lot. And that's done, okay? We agreed that we're just friends starting today. So please don't make your jokes or tell anyone about this, because it's over."

"What?" Kendall frowned. "What are you talking about? You two are crazy about each other. Why wouldn't you let yourselves be happy?"

"It's better this way. James doesn't want anyone to know about his...feelings. And I need him to focus or he won't graduate. It's just better all around. Trust me."

"No way," Carlos disagreed. "James needs to be happy. _You_ make him happy. It's dumb for you guys to just be friends when you want so much more." When Logan gave him a look, Carlos had the decency to blush and avert his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I do," Logan nodded. "But the time isn't right. Not for _us_, anyway," he said meaningfully. "If someone else was in that position, being friends and wishing for more, I'd say they should go for it." Now it was Kendall who looked uncomfortable, so Logan backed off; he'd said enough to hopefully get them both thinking. "The point is, we mutually decided this was the best course for us to take. Please respect that."

Carlos slowly shook his head. "Sometimes you sound just like my teachers. How are you younger than me?"

Damn. His true age was showing again. "I'm just smart. So drop it, okay? James and I are friends and that's how it's going to stay. He's asked me to join him in that capacity. I'll be home tonight, Carlos."

"You'd better be, it's a school night. Mom will kill you if you aren't home by nine."

"Noted." Logan smiled and glanced toward the hallway. "I'm gonna go talk to him. Do you guys need the room?"

"Nah," Carlos answered. "We're just gonna go downstairs and play games. Take care of our boy, okay? Let us know how it goes."

"I will." He followed instinct and hugged them both, glad he'd done it when neither held back. "Thanks for understanding."

"We just want James to be happy," Kendall stated. "Or...as happy as he can be with...you know."

Logan nodded. He definitely knew. Now to face what might turn into the worst birthday of James' life.

* * *

Though Logan was dying to hold James' hand on the walk to the Diamond home, he held back for the sake of appearances—and the fact that they were no more than friends.

_Friends hold hands, right? Sometimes?_

Did they? In truth, Logan didn't know. It would probably be best to keep his hands to himself when it came to James, though.

The further they got, the harder that became because conversation with James tapered off more and more with each step. He was scared.

Logan finally settled for a shoulder bump. "It'll be okay," he said quietly. "Once all the hard stuff is done, you'll be glad you talked it out."

James shook his head, not in denial but in a manner of "I don't know about that." "You promised me I didn't have to talk about it today."

_Damn, I did._ Logan had forgotten that. "Okay. Then we'll just have leftovers and cake and celebrate how amazing you are."

James rolled his eyes. "I still don't get how you think I'm so amazing. I mean, I put out this image that I am but if anyone knows the true me, it's you."

"And seeing the true you, I still think you're amazing. I guess that means you are, hmm?" When James' response was a light (but disbelieving) chuckle, Logan bumped his shoulder again. "Who's the smart guy here, James? I'm the nerd, which means I'm always right. Trust me, you're amazing."

"Well, as long as _you_ believe that..."

"I do."

They turned the corner onto Lockwood, James halting Logan's progress to study him closely. "You know..."

Logan waited patiently, afraid to say anything because he sensed that what James had to say was important.

"It really is for the best that we're not...together."

"I know."

"Because you were right. If we were, I wouldn't be able to hide it. I'd be taking you down right here on this lawn after a comment like that." Logan's breath caught. "And it's not even my lawn. Could you imagine? Sunday afternoon, my neighbors come out to water it and find us rolling around on the grass?"

Logan _could_ imagine it. His mouth dried up.

"So..." James nodded. "Yeah. I was wrong before, when I said we could keep it a secret. It was easy to hide it when I thought it was one-sided. Now that I know it's not? No way. I knew what I was doing when I avoided you."

Logan had to look away from the intensity of the deep stare into his eyes. "Okay. I'm glad we're in agreement."

"Part of me isn't, but...the smart side of me knows you're right. If we let it happen, I'd want to touch you all the time. We'd never study, we'd never do anything but make out every chance we got to be alone. So..."

"I get it." The last thing Logan needed was this reminder of everything he was missing. "Your mom's waiting for us. We should go."

James kept his gaze on Logan's face, perhaps to make sure Logan was suffering just as much with the imposed rules, before dropping it and turning away. "The cake did look good last night. I can't wait to try some of that."

Logan let out the breath he'd been holding. It was like he'd been pinned to a wall by nothing but a gaze. That was the power James had over him—and he liked it.

_Stop it, Logan. Use your head. The one _above_ your shoulders._

"You coming?" James called back from five steps away. And damn if he didn't sound amused. He _knew_ the effect he had on Logan.

"Right behind you." Which was where Logan belonged. He wasn't destined to be at James' side. His place was in the wings, pushing James to be the star he was meant to be.

All in all, it wasn't a bad place to be.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N—Happy Monday! I managed to write a bunch yesterday, so you get another chapter. :) Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Brooke greeted them at the door wearing a bright blue sweater and a wide smile. "Welcome home, boys." She hugged each of them, Logan getting a whisper of "Thank you for bringing him home" along with it.

If she only knew how close he'd come to letting that slip away. "You're welcome."

"I've got the dining room set up for us. I'm afraid the decorations are all gone, but we've still got plenty of food and cake. And of course the mountain of presents everyone brought over. Come on in."

It was nice to see Brooke so full of life and happiness. When Logan glanced over at James, he saw the same thing—James was grinning, his eyes sparkling as he followed his mother toward the dining room. How long had it been since they'd shared a moment like this, one without anger or resentment or even sadness and fear?

James was right—he deserved this on his birthday. Logan wouldn't push him for the heavy talk with his mother, at least until the following evening.

"Logan, you have to try this manicotti. If you think tortellini is good, wait until you taste this! James, did you eat _anything _last night?"

James waited until they were all seated to reply, Logan across from him and Brooke at the head of the table. "Not really. I think I grabbed some chips, but...no. I had other things on my mind."

"Did you at least enjoy the party? Here, have some of these chicken strips Jennifer brought over from the restaurant. I reheated them, but you can heat them up in the microwave again if you need to."

Remembering Carlos' love of them, Logan reached for a few.

"Um..." James thought over his answer to her previous question while loading up a plate. "It was nice to have everybody here. People I thought didn't care actually showed up, you know? Or who knows, maybe they only came because it was a cool party. But it was still great to see everyone. I didn't really talk to a lot of people at Jenny's party, so I'm glad they came to mine."

Logan thought that even if James _had_ talked to people at Jenny's party, he probably wouldn't remember due to his state of inebriation.

Brooke shook her head. "Nonsense, James, they were here because they like you. And Logan would've come if you'd allowed it. How did you end up at his place anyway? Did you finally come to your senses and call him?"

His mouth full, James looked to Logan for an answer. "Actually, I crashed the party. I forced him to talk to me."

Brooke raised a brow at Logan. "You mean, you did what I've been telling you to do all week? You cornered him and made him face his feelings for you?"

James choked on a piece of chicken, his face going red. "Mom, please."

"I don't have time to be delicate, James," she reminded him. "No sense in beating around the bush."

"So that's your excuse to just embarrass me whenever you feel the need?"

Brooke sighed and set down a cloth napkin. "James, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I didn't say anything Logan doesn't already know. I'm tired of walking on eggshells, especially with my son. There's no reason to at this point. I want us to be open with each other."

"You didn't three months ago," James pointed out. "I tried to talk to you and you just shut me down."

For once, Brooke was speechless. The truth of James' accusation shamed her.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you. I came home to celebrate, not be an asshole. Can we just enjoy this and not argue?"

She sipped at a glass of water before replying. "Fine. But for the record, the reason I didn't talk about it back then was because I couldn't accept it. I didn't want to. I told you because you're my son and you have a right to know that I'm dying, but I wasn't ready to even think about it, let alone talk about it. It's...scary. You know?"

James set down his fork to reach out for his mother's left hand, which was resting near her plate. "I know that it scares the shit out of me, and I'm not even the one..." He bit his lip, still unable to say it. "So I can only imagine what it's like for you. Are you...still afraid?"

"Of course I am. I don't want to die, James. I'm doing what I can to fight it. But I have to prepare myself for the reality that it might not work. And what scares me even more than dying is the thought of leaving you alone. I'm worried about _you_."

"Don't." James licked his lips and settled back into the chair. "I'm gonna be fine. I mean, you are leaving all your money to me, right?"

"Most of it, yes. Some of it will be going to the company. I don't want it to fold once I'm gone. I put a lot of hard work into that place and I want it to succeed."

"Mom, you've done an incredible job with it. I know it wasn't easy for you to give up the reins and stop working. But it'll be okay. You left Jonathan in charge?"

"Like I'd let anyone else run that place?"

They laughed together at the mere thought, and though Logan didn't get the joke he was pleased to see them bonding. Her hand was still tight in James'.

"So don't worry about the company," he continued. "It's in good hands."

"I know," she nodded, "but are _you_?"

Now James' eyes cut away to Logan, who suddenly couldn't breathe. It was that intense stare again, and it stole his air every time. "Logan says I'm gonna be okay. I'm not so sure, but he seems to believe it."

Logan offered a soft smile.

"And he's smart, so...I guess we have to trust him."

Brooke's lips curved up. "I trust him. He cares about you, James, and if you let him, he'll take care of you."

"I know. We uh...we kind of made a deal." James' hand dropped away from hers in order to pick up the fork again. "He's gonna help me pass my classes and graduate."

"Good. That's wonderful." Brooke patted Logan's hand. "Thank you. I'm sorry that your parents had to pass for this to happen, but I'm so glad you came when you did. The timing couldn't be more perfect."

_Yeah, that was the plan._ Logan looked away from her and focused on his manicotti, which was just as good as she'd promised.

"What I want to know is, which of you boneheads made the decision to just be friends?"

James groaned and let his head fall back. "Mom, can you drop it? That's none of your business."

"All I'm saying is that it's obvious you two belong together. I don't understand why you're fighting it. Unless..." Brooke turned a suspicious gaze to her son. "Is this about your image? About your plans to be a star? Are you afraid that having a boyfriend is going to ruin that somehow?"

James squirmed under her stare, avoiding her eyes. "No. I mean, maybe in the beginning it was, but I'm past that. I mean..."

Seeing that James was at a loss, Logan took over. "Brooke, the decision was actually mine. James fought me on it, he wanted us to be more. But I think it's best to focus on his studies right now and to get him where he needs to be academically. That's the priority."

"So you can't do both? Help him study _and_ be his boyfriend?"

Why was she so relentless? Logan was going to have to be truthful, at least to a degree. "I can't believe I'm about to say this to his mother, but...I don't trust myself. It's not so much James I'm worried about as me. I'd get distracted by...other things. My focus wouldn't be on his academic progress, it would be on..." He couldn't finish.

Brooke seemed to get the gist, though, enough that she rolled her eyes. "Are you telling me you can't keep your hands off my son?"

"Mom, let it go. You're making him uncomfortable. Yeah, we're attracted to each other, and it's...hard to fight. Now it's _my _turn to say I can't believe I'm about to say this to my mother, but all I'd ever want to do with him is make out when we're together if that was an option. So we've agreed it's better that it's not. Logan said once I graduate we can talk about it again and see how we feel, but for now we're friends and off limits to each other in that sense."

Brooke blinked at James a few times. "I think that's the most mature thing I've ever heard you say. I'm impressed. You made an adult decision rather than just giving in to your immediate needs." After a quick glance at Logan, she added, "You _are_ in good hands. I feel a little better about all of this."

Knowing what she needed to hear, Logan stated, "I'm not going anywhere. I know that what you both are facing is not going to be easy, but I want you to know that I'm always here for him. For _both _of you. We can talk more another day about what's to come and how we'll deal with it, but for today just know that you're not alone. You have each other, and you have me, and I'm going to take care of you both."

Neither said a word; they were simultaneously overwhelmed with emotion. Logan took Brooke's hand in his, then reached across the table for James; he offered his own willingly.

"I live with the Garcias but for the next few months at least, I'm going to be here every second I can. Anything you need, just ask and I'll find a way. You two are what matters most to me. You just have to let me help."

It was Brooke who finally found her voice. "James, I swear to God if you don't marry this boy I'll come back from the grave and haunt you until you do."

It was the moment of levity they needed to break the intensity, and it worked. Though James' eyes were wet, he laughed. Brooke did the same. Logan joined in as well, but his was partially forced.

He knew it wouldn't come to pass, and the knowledge grew harder to accept each day.

* * *

Once everyone had eaten their fill of leftovers, they moved on to the cake. Brooke insisted on lighting candles and singing to James, to his embarrassment. At Brooke's urging, Logan joined in with a huge grin and couldn't resist a kiss to James' red cheek after he'd blown out the candles. The cake was still surprisingly good considering it was a day old, and when that was finished they watched James open all of his gifts. Logan reveled in the lightheartedness of the moment as he witnessed the two of them laughing so much; he was grateful to be part of it all.

Brooke had kept track of each gift and who it was from so that James could send out thank you notes. After a brief argument over that ("Mom, this isn't the fifties, people don't do that anymore"), they compromised with James agreeing to at least text everyone who'd given him a gift.

Leaving James to that in the dining room, Brooke and Logan put away food and took care of all the dishes they'd gone through. Most of the conversation between them revolved around directives like "Put that one in a plastic container" or "That plate has to be handwashed" but when they stood side by side at the sink, Brooke asked, "Are you _sure_ you don't want to take things further with James?"

This had to be the weirdest conversation he'd ever had with a parent (though to be fair, Logan hadn't had many of those outside of his own mother). "Why are you pushing this? Don't you want him to graduate?"

"Of course I do, Logan. And he will, if for no other reason than to make you proud."

"I think it's more about making_ you _proud."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you? But it's probably both, and that's even better. Now he has twice the motivation to succeed, because he won't want to let us down."

"Either way, he has motivation. Us dating wouldn't add to that."

"I think it would," Brooke argued. "It's one thing to let a friend down—quite another to let a _boy_friend down."

Logan shook his head. "With James, I don't think there's much difference in that. Not if it's a close friend. Is that the last of the dishes?" He waited for Brooke's confirmation to close the dishwasher. "James would feel just as horrible letting down Kendall or Carlos as he does me."

"No, you're different." Brooke crossed her arms over her chest and faced Logan. "I knew it the moment we all sat in a car together for the first time. Actually, the fact that he invited you into our home at all told me you were different. The fact that you're here now, that he wanted to spend his birthday with you. Do you see Carlos or Kendall here?"

No, Logan didn't, and he supposed Brooke had a point. But she couldn't rest her hopes on a future for them when Logan knew that wouldn't be the case. "I'm just saying that it's odd for a parent to be so..."

"So _what_, Logan?" Her tone implied that he needed to choose his answer carefully.

He licked his lips while searching for the right word. "Maybe things are different here, but where I come from parents aren't in such a hurry for their kids to find romance. Especially moms with sons. They're more protective, I guess, than encouraging."

Brooke debated that before stating, "Most parents aren't less than a year away from dying. I need to know that my son is taken care of."

"And I'm promising you that I will. We don't need to be physically involved for me to do that."

"No, but James is human. He's a teenage boy. He's growing up fast and he has needs, Logan. Do you think he won't go looking for that elsewhere? What about his grades then? What about his focus?"

"It's two months."

"Which is a lifetime at your age. I know my son. If he's not getting what he needs from you, he'll find it somewhere else and ruin things between you because no matter what you say, I know you love him."

"I've never denied that," Logan pointed out.

"Then don't let him push you away. Don't give him a chance to be bored or force him to look elsewhere. He needs you, Logan. And _I _need to know that when I'm gone, he'll have you."

"Brooke..." Logan sighed, wishing he could lie just to comfort her. "I can promise you this—I won't leave him alone until he's ready to stand on his own. As long as he needs me, I'll be at his side."

"So you're saying that you _will _leave him at some point?" Brooke asked incredulously.

"No, I just..." _ Roger, help me! I don't know how to explain this without telling her everything! She needs peace of mind! _Logan bit his lip hard, wishing he could put her mind at ease and show her all that he knew of James' future. She'd think he was a lunatic, though. And he'd taken an oath of silence on that subject. "Look, I'm saying that there may come a time when my purpose in his life is done. When he'll decide he doesn't want me because there are more important things in life than his attraction to a friend. And if that time comes, I will let him go so that he can follow his dreams. Basically I'm saying that I won't hold him back. My entire focus here is making sure he becomes the best version of himself that he can be."

"But you make him that better person, Logan. Before you he had no focus. He had no goals."

"Hasn't he always wanted to be a star? You said so yourself."

"Yes, I mean since the diagnosis. Since I got sick. He's been lost and spending all his time with that...that..."

"She's gone. I'll make sure she doesn't come back."

"As long as he has you, I believe that. I'm just worried he'll ruin it by pushing you away and that you'll let him."

"Did I this time? Think about how desperately he tried to push me away over the past week. Did I even once consider letting him?"

"You were content to just wait, to let him be the mature one. You can't do that with James, he'll just keep running and running and you have to be the one to catch him."

"I did. Look, maybe you're right about that. Maybe I should've forced it sooner. But we're in a good place now and he knows he's stuck with me. I've made it clear that I'm not letting him run. Brooke, you have to trust me on this. No matter what he says or does, I'm not leaving him."

"You just said you might one day."

Logan silently begged for patience. He closed his eyes and reiterated, "I'm not leaving him unless I know he doesn't need me."

"I can't ever see that happening. There's no one he needs more."

Opening his eyes, Logan managed a tiny smile. "Then you don't have anything to worry about. As long as he needs me, I'm here."

The conversation seemed to be going in circles. Logan was relieved when James yelled to them from the dining room. "Are you guys done in there? I want to watch a movie!"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Have you texted everyone on that list?"

"Yes, Mother. I finished all my chores. Can I go outside and play now?"

"One day I'm going to smack that smart mouth," Brooke muttered under her breath, but she was smirking. More loudly, she called out, "We'll be right out. Pick a movie!" Then to Logan, "How long can you stay?"

"I'm here all day. I just have to be home by nine."

"Perfect. Maybe we'll order pizza for dinner. Or since it's his birthday, perhaps I should make him his favorite meal," she joked.

Making sure James was nowhere within earshot, Logan stepped closer to confide, "I found out why that's his favorite."

Brooke's hands slowed in the act of drying them on a towel. "What?"

"I asked him. About the sandwich and the orange. He told me why it's so special."

"You mean there's an actual_ reason_?"

Logan nodded. "When he was little, you and his dad took him camping."

She blinked in shock. "We did. I haven't thought about that trip in ages."

"James never forgot it. He said that's what you served each day. The meal brings back good memories of a time he was happy and at peace. That's why it's his favorite."

Brooke looked as if she was about to cry, the towel forgotten in her grip. "Oh, James." When she started to head out of the kitchen, Logan grabbed her by the wrist to stop her.

"You can't tell him I told you that. I swore I wouldn't repeat it."

"Logan, how am I supposed to forget I heard that?"

"You have to. Maybe you can get him to tell you himself one day."

"Oh, you're so maddening." She tossed the towel onto the counter. "How does he stand you?"

"Apparently he loves me," Logan replied, unable to hide the smile those words brought on. "But wait, before we go out there, I need to know something."

Brooke raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, I suppose I owe you since you shared that with me. Go on."

"You mentioned that you knew I was different. The first day we met."

"I did," she nodded.

"I'm just wondering...how? What did he say that made you think that? Just the fact that he let me in the house?"

She studied him while deciding how to explain it. "There was that, but it was also the way he looked at you. Or rather, the way he listened to you. In the car, you were saying things he didn't want to hear. Discussing with him about how people handle grief. He didn't tune you out; he actually listened. That was part of it."

Logan nodded remembering that.

"It was also that I could tell he wanted to kiss you once you two got out of the car."

Logan blushed. "Yeah, I figured you saw that."

"But even more than that, it was how much he fought me whenever I mentioned your name. Whenever I'd try to get him talking about you, he screamed at me that he didn't want to hear it, you didn't exist to him, and he never wanted to see you or speak to you again."

Logan frowned. "And that showed you he _did _care?"

"Absolutely. If you weren't special, he would never have gotten so riled up. Whenever I've asked about his girlfriends in the past, he's answered my questions but done so in a manner that's...how to put it? Nonchalant. Bored, even. Like it wasn't worth talking about. You, though? You were worth screaming and slamming doors and storming out of the house. You inspired passion. _That's _how I knew, Logan. That's why I pushed so hard to get you two talking again. Because you _mattered_ to him."

Suddenly all of the suffering he'd been through during the past week was worth it—every tear, every second of silence from James, every glare, even those kisses with Mandy he'd been forced to witness. James fought him so hard because he _mattered_. Choked up, Logan cleared his throat to ask one more question. "And it doesn't bother you that I'm a guy? That he's gay?"

Brooke chuckled softly. "Logan, do you know what I do for a living? Or...what I did?"

"You ran a cosmetics company."

"Yes. And do you know how many gay men I've hired and worked with over the years? Trust me when I say that homosexuality is not a problem for me. I left my legacy in the care of a gay man, for heaven's sake. I don't know if James has been fighting this for years or if you're the first male to ever turn his head. All I know is that you make my son happy, and for that I wouldn't care if you're an alien. Just keep doing it."

Logan smiled, pleased when she returned that before wrapping her arms around him in a hug. His mother had known of his interest in men but never really cared to discuss it. He'd always felt like she loved him in spite of it rather than seeing it as something to be proud of. Logan had no way of knowing at this point how the Garcias might react to homosexuality (though he suspected that eventually he'd find out because once Carlos and Kendall admitted their feelings, Carlos wouldn't be able to hide it), and he could only hope that Jennifer and Katie would be accepting for all their sakes. Brooke, though...she'd not only accepted but embraced him, and it felt good. He hugged her tight while fighting to keep tears at bay. "Thank you," he whispered. "I swear to you that your son is going to be okay. I'll make sure."

"I know you will. And like I said, if you don't? I'll come back and haunt you."

By the time James poked his head into the kitchen, they were laughing together. "Excuse me, is it too much to ask that I get some attention on my birthday? I mean, if you two would rather hang out together I can find somewhere else to go, but it _is _my birthday and—"

Logan rolled his eyes before spinning toward James with a grin. "Oh, I'm sorry, James, is it your birthday? I wasn't clear on that. Maybe if you said it one more time we'd all be—"

"Oh, you are asking for it," James threatened. He advanced on Logan with a gleam in his eye, one that communicated a kiss was on the way. As badly as Logan wanted to succumb to that threat, he held up a hand to stave James off. James' face fell, but he halted.

Brooke came to the rescue, sufficiently breaking the moment. "Did you find a movie?"

"Yeah. It's ready to go."

"Wonderful. Do me a favor and make me a cup of tea? Show Logan where everything is so he knows how. Since he always insists on being so _helpful_." She said it like it was the worst thing to be.

Logan grinned. "Anytime, Brooke. Just ask."

She left them to it, and James dutifully walked Logan through the task of getting a mug and a tea bag from the cupboard while waiting for a kettle to heat up. Standing at the counter, he suddenly turned to Logan and said, "Can I ask for one more present from you?"

Logan's breath stuttered. "If it's a kiss, no."

James let out a disappointed breath. "Dude, it's my birthday. You're supposed to give me whatever I want."

Logan smirked. "Of course you twist that to get your way."

"Does that mean I'm getting my way? I can kiss you?"

"James..." Like it wasn't already hard enough resisting his own urges? "I thought we talked about this. We agreed it's for the best."

"It is."

"Then why are you pushing it?"

James licked his lips, tipping Logan's chin up with a desperate look in his eyes. "Because I need it. Just for today."

"And you won't need it tomorrow? Or the next day?"

"Of course I will."

"Then why is today different?"

"Because it's my birthday," James whispered. "And all I want is you."

There was no way to resist that. Roger's voice screamed in Logan's head as he lifted up onto his toes to join their lips. James' mouth hungrily devoured his; Logan let it.

"Please, Logan," James breathed between kisses. "Just for today." Another deep kiss. "I swear we'll start tomorrow, I swear on my mother's soul I won't touch you. Just give me today."

Logan's arms wound around James' neck while James pressed him back against the counter. Still it felt like James wasn't close enough. He opened his mouth wider and James took the invitation to explore, Logan shivering in pleasure at the taste and feel of James inside him.

The kettle's whistle slowed their kiss. Logan finally murmured, "Okay. Just today."

Keeping one arm around Logan's shoulders, James used the other to move the boiling water to another stove burner. There was tea to be made, but they allowed themselves another minute to do nothing but hold each other. Logan closed his eyes and rested his face against James' shoulder. He wouldn't have this forever, and he wasn't going to waste the opportunity now.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N—Time for the weekly update. I hope everyone's safe out there. Thank you for reading!

This chapter cuts off abruptly but the next scene is too long to include, so I chopped it where it seemed best. The next chapter will pick up right where this leaves off. Hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

Brooke made herself comfortable in an overstuffed recliner, leaving the sofa for James and Logan to share. Logan watched with a smile as James ran to get her a blanket without even being asked to. He made sure she was warm enough before taking his place next to Logan and unashamedly cuddling up for a round of movie-watching. James had chosen another beloved film from his childhood that made him laugh, and both Logan and Brooke took joy in his happiness. It was like the first night he and James had spent together, James at peace while watching something he enjoyed.

Brooke picked out the second movie, using her choice for a sequel to the first one they'd watched. Other than pizza arriving halfway through, much was the same and Logan spent it pressed against James while James absently played with his hair. No, this wasn't why he'd been sent back two hundred years but was he complaining? Not even close.

After that movie (and with bellies full of pizza) Brooke shared that she was exhausted from the weekend's activities and needed sleep. James didn't hesitate to jump up in order to help her up the stairs, but she insisted on hugging Logan first. He knew what was coming, and when her whisper of "Thank you so much" reached his ear, he hugged her tighter. "Thank _you_," he returned. "This has been the best day of my life." It wasn't a lie. If the next few months were going to play out like this, Logan would treasure every second.

It wasn't until James had escorted his mother to the landing that Logan looked at his phone, seeing a message from Sylvia. _"I'm dropping Kendall off around eight and will be there after to pick you up. I'll text you when I'm almost there."_ It wasn't a question or a request; it was the law, and at moments like this pretending to be a minor was a hindrance. He sighed, having planned on staying until nine and then walking home. Instead, he replied with a simple _"Okay, thanks"_ before putting the leftover pizza in the fridge and using the bathroom.

When he returned to the living room, James was folding the blanket. He glanced over at Logan with a bright smile. "Hey. I was afraid you'd left."

"Not quite yet. And not without saying goodbye."

James was ready for the embrace coming his way. He set down the blanket and opened his arms to welcome Logan. Their lips touched a few times before Logan added, "Sylvia's picking me up in an hour."

"What? I thought you were staying until nine."

"So did I."

James pulled him in tight as if to keep him from going home. "Can you ask? My birthday and all?"

"I thought about it, but I kind of don't want to push it with her. She's been really great about all of this and I still need to sit her down and explain that I'm going to be here every night to help you and your mom. I think it'll help my case if I go along with her wishes now."

"I guess," James commiserated. "It's just...this is our last night together, you know?"

"I do know," Logan nodded. He pressed a kiss to James' neck and was amazed at the way even that small gesture sent a shockwave through James that he could feel. Was he going to spend the next hour fighting James off? Did he even want to?

"Well, that leaves us just enough time for an episode of 'Star Trek,' if you're interested."

Logan was. He let James lead him upstairs by the hand, assaulted with memories upon stepping through the bedroom door. Less than a week ago he'd looked into this room and longed to be here doing just what he was about to do with James. The measure of his success hit him fully—he'd done it. It hadn't been easy, but he'd finally ended up right where he wanted to be with James.

"Sorry it's a mess."

It really wasn't, though, as James had clearly been at work cleaning the space. Hadn't Brooke even mentioned that a few days before? Logan wondered where the packed bags were—probably hidden in the closet where Brooke wouldn't see them. "James, it's fine. It's nice to finally be invited in, though."

James had the decency to blush. "Yeah, sorry I was so..." He didn't finish the thought, instead getting them away from the subject of his earlier behavior. "Come on, make yourself comfortable. And close the door. Mom's a heavy sleeper these days and sometimes she snores."

Logan's mind wandered while he followed the instruction. Was that the only reason James wanted the door closed? It both thrilled Logan and put him on alert. True, he'd agreed to one more night of being "more than friends" with James, but he still knew it would be a mistake to take things too far. Then again, what could they do in an hour?

_So many things, Logan. Soooo many things._

He quickly shut down that train of thought and kicked off his shoes before slipping under the blankets James held up for him. Within seconds he was wrapped up in James' embrace and wishing he could stay in this moment forever.

"I uh...watched a few episodes throughout the week, so I'm on like...seven, I think? But we can go back and watch them again if you want."

"No, it's fine," Logan smiled. "I've seen them all before. Let's just pick up where you left off."

"Cool."

After a peck of lips to Logan's hair, James used a remote to pull up the show, and they got lost in one version of the future that could have come to pass. Logan spent the first ten minutes waiting for James to make a move other than the occasional rub of a hand up his arm or the light touch of lips to his temple. James seemed genuinely engrossed in the show, though, which was both a relief and a disappointment to Logan. Their last night of togetherness and James was more interested in a TV show?

_Get over it. This is what you wanted. He's following _your_ wishes._

This was all true, but it didn't help because when it came to romantic feelings, logic had no place. Logan _liked_ that James had just as much trouble keeping his hands to himself.

"I know what you're thinking."

The sudden statement caused Logan to jump slightly. "What?"

"I said I know what you're thinking."

"Do you?"

"Mmm-hmm." James sounded amused again.

"So you're also wondering why Data doesn't just—"

"You're wondering why I'm behaving myself."

Logan's breath caught. He hadn't realized how transparent he was, or maybe it was just that James already knew him that well. How was that possible?

James' lips moved against his hair. "It's because if I don't, I won't stop. I'll cross that line we both agreed we shouldn't, because no matter what you say I know you miss sex and I know that right now, you don't have it in you to fight me off."

Needing to hide his face, Logan shifted to bury it in James' neck.

"It's okay," James continued in a soft voice that was hypnotic in its reassurance. "I'm feeling it, too. Part of me is screaming that this is my last chance and I should get what I can now before it's gone."

"Yeah," Logan breathed.

"But there's another part of me that trusts you and believes you and knows that once I graduate, I can have you. You promised me that."

That wasn't exactly what Logan had said; he knew it would never come to pass, because by then romance would be the last thing on James' mind. "I said we'd discuss it then."

"And can you ever imagine a time when you won't want me?"

"No," Logan answered truthfully. "Two hundred years from now, I'd still want you."

James tipped Logan's face up to smile at him. "I feel the same way. You're worth the wait, Logan."

There was only one way to answer a sentence like that: Logan shot forward until their lips were meshed together. Taken by surprise, James opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Logan didn't remember moving, but thirty seconds later he was straddling James' hips as their kisses turned hotter and James' hands caressed their way up Logan's back more desperately. Logan's hips moved on their own and James hissed.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he murmured before shoving Logan away and onto his back. James moved quickly to stretch out over him but the not-unwelcome violence of the act had been enough to wake Logan up.

"Wait," he panted. His hands came up to hold James off him. "I'm sorry. That wasn't supposed to happen."

James groaned and lowered himself slowly down to cover Logan. "Damn, I hate this."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I started that."

"Yeah, you did." James didn't sound mad about it.

"Even if we wanted to, we couldn't. You're an adult now, James. I'm not letting you go to jail for me."

James rolled his eyes. "Quit bringing that up. No one's gonna report me."

"You never know. If it happened and the wrong person found out..." Logan could just see it now: the enemy would be Mandy or Denise and what a perfect way to stop James that would be—send him to jail for statutory rape. "I'm not willing to risk it."

"You're ridiculous." James sat up, though, leaning against the headboard to put space between them. "When's your birthday, anyway?"

"September."

"Are you shitting me? I have to wait...hang on." James took a second to count the months. "Six months? _Six months?! _ That's not just until graduation, that's all of summer, too! What the hell, Logan?"

_By September I won't even matter to you. _ "You said I was worth the wait." Logan nudged James' hip with a socked foot. "Am I?"

Though it annoyed him to admit it, James begrudgingly answered, "Yes."

"Good." Logan held out a hand and James pulled so that Logan could sit up. "Guess you were wrong."

"About?"

"I _did _have it in me to fight you off."

"Ha. Barely."

"Barely's all we need." Logan crawled back toward the headboard and settled against James again, as they had been in the beginning. "Have I said the words yet?"

"The words?"

"Yeah. You know, the uh...I love you. Have I said it yet?"

James' fire melted away. "Yeah," he replied quietly. "More than once."

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

Logan was hugged tighter against the strong body. "I do," James said.

After that they focused on the show, which was easier to do without all the unspoken tension between them. Twenty minutes later, Logan was so wrapped up in the storyline that James' sudden whisper of "I think I love you, too" didn't penetrate right away. He blinked twice before accepting that yes, he'd actually heard that and not imagined it. The way James was looking at him confirmed it. Logan closed his eyes and kissed James softly.

_Whatever happens after this, it's all worth it for this moment right here. Roger? If I fail I'm sorry, but I will never be sorry for this._

* * *

Eight o'clock came sooner than they wanted it to. They kept their kiss goodbye brief, knowing Sylvia was close, and then just like that he was climbing into the van while waving to James. Sylvia called out a last "Happy birthday!" before driving Logan away from the best day of his life.

"How is he?" was her first question. "Better?"

"A lot better," Logan answered. "We spent all of last night talking, and today we watched movies with Brooke. I think he's finally accepted everything and is...trying."

"I know how hard this must be on him. How's Brooke?"

"Tired. There was a lot going on this weekend and she went to bed about an hour ago."

"Good, I'm glad she's resting. Jennifer and I were talking and we want to help more. Brooke's stubborn, you know, doesn't like to ask for help."

"You don't have to tell me that," Logan laughed. "Her son's the same way."

"That's what I hear. So we're going to have dinner with her later in the week and ask how we can help. If she refuses, _we'll _decide how to help."

"That's good. If nothing else, you guys can probably be there for her to talk to. She doesn't talk much about it and I think she needs to."

"Yeah, she doesn't have any friends outside of us. Not really family, either. Her work was her life before all of this."

That sounded about right. "Um, so since we're on the subject of help...I hope this is okay with you guys, but I'm going to have to work with James a lot to get him ready for graduation. Now that his head is in the right place, he's determined to do that."

"Of course, honey! We support anything that helps the boys graduate."

"Right, but it's going to require me to spend most of my time there. I offered to have him come over after school every day but because of Brooke's situation, he prefers to be home as much as he can. To look after her and spend time with her. So I'd be going to their house after school and probably staying through dinner. James has a lot to catch up on."

"Oh." Sylvia considered that while turning into the driveway and shutting down the vehicle. "Every day?"

"I told James that as long as he works hard during the week, we can take the weekends off. That way I can still work with Carlos and Kendall on Sundays, too. I figure Saturday could be a day of fun for all of them. So I'd be home on the weekends, and home by nine every weeknight. If that's okay."

"Does that leave you enough time for your own schoolwork?"

"I'm not worried about me." At a raised eyebrow from Sylvia, he amended that to, "I can work on my own stuff while James is doing his. Plus if I need it, I can use Saturday as a day to catch up."

"No, you deserve a day of fun as well. I just don't want you to put your own grades in jeopardy."

"I promise, I'll be fine. The classes are pretty easy compared to what I was used to before."

Sylvia studied him, biting her lip the way Carlos sometimes did when thinking hard. "Okay, I guess that's fine. We'll miss you at dinner, though."

"I'm sorry. James is...how to say this? He's a lot more fragile than he wants people to think. He needs someone to lean on and talk to. For whatever reason, he trusts me for that and I want to help him. The school stuff is only part of it."

She nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll discuss it with Papi, but it should be fine."

"Thanks."

He was halfway out of the car when she called him back in. "Hey, Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"You um...you spend a lot of time with Carlos."

"I guess?" Logan waited, intrigued by what seemed nervousness to speak her mind freely.

"Has he uh...this Denise girl. She was at the game yesterday, right?"

"Oh. Yeah." His mood darkened at the memory of watching her kiss James behind the shed.

"Do you know if...? Has Carlos...?"

"Yes?"

She let out a breath. "I was just wondering if he's dating her. I know he was interested in her."

"Um. Well, the truth is that I found out some things about her, and he'd be better off without her. She's not a nice person."

The news surprised Sylvia. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'm going to discourage that moving forward."

"I see. Okay. Good to know. I guess I was just wondering though if he has his eye on anybody else? Any other girls at school?"

Tricky ground here. "Not that I'm aware of. I got the feeling with Denise that the thing he liked most about her was that she was interested in him. Or at least pretended to be. He did say she was nice, though."

"Nice? That's the word he used?"

Logan shrugged. "He might've called her cool at one point, too."

"But nothing like...has he ever said she's pretty?"

"Pretty?"

"Yeah, like...was he attracted to her?"

"I...would assume so?" Was Sylvia pumping him for the answer to a question she was afraid to ask about her son? "Is there something you're worried about?"

"No, I'm not worried about anything." Sylvia gave a nervous laugh before smiling at Logan. "Just curious about my son, I suppose. He doesn't really talk about girls all that much."

"Well, you know him. He's more into guy things like sports and games and...food."

"Right. You're right. I'm just...I wish he'd talk to me more about that sort of thing. He talks to his father plenty about sports and games. But I'm his mom, I need to know where his heart is."

_You just dropped off his heart at the Knight home. _ "I think feelings aren't something Carlos is comfortable with yet. I'm not insulting him, but he isn't the most mature kid when it comes to that sort of thing."

"I know," she chuckled. "Part of me wants him to stay a kid forever. But this thing with Brooke has me thinking more about the future and I worry about him. It would be nice for him to have someone who cares about him, who's always there to look after him."

Logan chose his next words carefully. "I know we're not exactly what you're hinting at, but Kendall and I will be there to look after him. You know that, right?"

Sylvia leaned her head against the seat and smiled at him. "That means a lot, thank you. Foster kids come and go, and some of them keep in touch but eventually they move on. We're just a stop on the path to their future, you know?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Sylvia. Carlos is my brother now and that's not going to change. I'll be there for him. So will Kendall."

"I thank God for Kendall every day," she admitted. "Carlos and James used to be really close, but then all of this happened and he changed and it's been hard on Carlos. I'm sure it's hard on Kendall, too, but Carlos...well, he really needs someone. Kendall's been so great with him and I worry about Carlos being alone after graduation. Kendall's already been offered hockey scholarships and I know James is planning to move to California as soon as he can, so—"

"That's on hold for now. We talked about it last night. He's staying at least until Brooke...you know."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. She'll need him for what's to come. But eventually he'll be moving on too and Carlos...university isn't for him. He has a hard enough time just getting through high school. I'm sure you're planning on going away to college and Carlos will be lost without someone."

James had said something similar the night before, about being stuck here by himself. Logan knew that wouldn't be the case, but Sylvia had a point—eventually James would move away to fulfill his destiny, and Kendall probably_ would_ take one of those scholarships. He'd be stupid not to. Living here in Duluth would be lonely for Logan without James, especially surrounded by all of the memories they'd make between now and then. He'd probably want to leave, too. "Has Kendall accepted any of the scholarships?"

"No, actually Jennifer's concerned because he's dragging his heels on that and if he doesn't soon, they'll offer them to someone else. She doesn't know what's holding him back from making a decision."

_I do. He doesn't want to leave Carlos. _ "You know what? I'll talk to him about it tomorrow. The four of us can have a discussion about our futures and what we want, and then I'll have a better sense of where everyone's headed and what that means for Carlos."

"Can you find out if he has any romantic prospects, as well?"

Logan already knew the answer to that; what he didn't know was how Sylvia and Papi might feel about it. "I'll see what I can do. But...can I ask you a question that I might regret?"

"Regret?"

"Yeah. I really love living with you guys and being part of your family, and I don't want to do anything that might make your opinion of me change, but I also can't change who I am. I hope that you can accept me for who I am and not be ashamed."

Sylvia's grave expression showed that she knew he was about to impart something big. "Logan, we love you. Nothing you say is going to make that go away."

Praying he wasn't ruining the perfect position he'd been given by the team to stay close to James, he asked, "Even if I told you I might be gay?"

Though she looked shocked by the question, Logan sensed it was more the blunt way he'd said it than the actual news. "Oh! Honey, no! Of course we'd still love you if you're gay! I admit we haven't had a lot of experience with that in the past, but it doesn't change how much we love you!"

Relief swept through him, but even more importantly he'd gotten the answer he was hoping for regarding Carlos; they wouldn't be disowning Carlos for his feelings toward Kendall, should that ever come into light. "Thank you. It's something I was worried about when I came here and—"

Her arms reached out for him and he accepted the hug. "Don't you worry at all. We still love you. I'll be honest, I don't know how the boys will feel about it, but I'm pretty sure they'd still welcome you as a friend. And we'll make sure Carlos doesn't treat you any differently once he finds out."

Logan cleared his throat. "Carlos knows. You're right, he's been great about it. In fact, all of them know. But I'd like to keep the knowledge contained to the family. And James and Kendall."

"Of course!" She let him go. "Just know that we're here for you if you ever need someone to talk to, okay? And please make sure Carlos knows the same thing? The truth is I was asking all those questions because I'm starting to wonder about him. Shouldn't he be dating by now?"

It wasn't Logan's place to confirm her suspicions. "Honestly, everyone matures at a different pace. Maybe he's still figuring things out. But it's good to know that if he ever did go that way, he'd still be loved and accepted."

"Of course he would be. I hope he knows that. Make sure he knows that."

"I'll uh...work on it. Thanks, Sylvia. I've never been more grateful that I was placed here than I am right now."

"We're happy about it, too. And I feel a lot better about Carlos now, knowing that you'll look after him. I never worry because I know Kendall's there for him, but what about when Kendall leaves?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Just know that your son will be taken care of."

"That's all I can ask. Now, we still have ice cream left and Carlos was begging me for it earlier. Should we go in and have dessert with the family?"

Nothing sounded better to Logan.

* * *

Carlos called dibs on the shower. Logan was pretty sure he'd figured out what that meant by now, so he agreed once they'd returned to the bedroom. "But I need to tell you something first."

"What's up?" Carlos had been in a good mood since Logan arrived home, most likely due to spending the majority of the day alone with Kendall. He grinned while opening a dresser drawer. "Did you guys do the deed?"

"Carlos, will you shut up?!" Logan hissed, reaching back to close the door in a hurry. "We don't need your parents knowing how I feel about James!"

"Not so great when you're the one being teased, is it?" After sticking out his tongue at Logan, Carlos pulled out a clean pair of boxers and an old t-shirt.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I think you're twelve."

"Sometimes I _feel _twelve. Is that such a bad thing? Everyone's in such a hurry to grow up, but I like being a kid. Free food, parents that take care of me, the best friends in the world...why would I want to give all that up for a lonely life of working to pay bills?"

Perhaps Sylvia wasn't the only one worried about Carlos' future. Logan moved past Carlos toward his own bed. "We'll talk about that tomorrow. Right now I need to tell you what your mom said in the car."

Having been halfway to the door, Carlos halted. Nervously he asked, "Was it about Kendall? Because earlier I think I looked at him too long and Mom came in and I didn't know if she saw but I was scared that—"

"Carlos. It's okay. I don't know if she noticed but she did ask if you're seeing Denise."

"Oh. Denise." The name was said in a tone that showed he'd pretty much forgotten about her, at least for the time being. "What did you say?"

Logan thought about admitting what he'd seen at the party, then realized he didn't have it in him to hurt Carlos. "That's just how the conversation started, it's not important. I told her, Carlos. That I'm gay."

The boxers slipped from Carlos' fingers to settle on the carpet. He didn't even notice, eyes wide and mouth open in shock. "What? You _told_ her?"

"I did. I needed to know that she'd be accepting of it, because it's not going to change."

"Wait, so she _does _know about you and James?"

"No! Just that I like guys. There's nothing to know about me and James, because we're just friends. The point of all this—"

"Logan, will you give up on that? It's so dumb, you both have feelings for each other and there's no reason—"

"There are a lot of reasons. I'm not going to argue with you about it, we've agreed it's best for us. It's our decision."

This time Carlos rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. So what did Mom say? Was she mad? She seemed fine just now."

"No, she wasn't mad. She said they love me no matter what and she was glad I told her."

"Yeah?" Hope blossomed in Carlos' gaze.

"Yes. And that's my point: if you decide you want to date guys, they're not going to be mad or hate you. You don't have to be afraid to tell them."

Carlos considered that. "Then why don't you want them to know how you feel about James?"

"Because I don't want them thinking that's the reason I'm spending so much time at his house. Nothing's going to happen except studying and if they think there's more than that, they might not let me go over every day."

"Okay, I can see that," Carlos nodded. "But really? You guys won't even kiss?"

"No. We're done with that."

Curious, Carlos sank down onto his bed. "What's it like? To kiss a guy?"

Logan shrugged. "Probably just like kissing a girl."

"Yeah, that doesn't help me."

"I'm sure it's different depending on the person. I've kissed guys in the past and none of them felt like kissing James."

"Yeah? So it's—wait. You've kissed other guys?! Why didn't you tell me? I thought you never had a girlfriend before!"

"I haven't," Logan said honestly. "I didn't lie about that."

"But you've had boyfriends? How? Your parents wouldn't even let you eat cheese!"

Logan chuckled. "I can be sneaky when I need to be. And no, there were no boyfriends. Just...experiments. Needing to know what it's like."

"Man. How much other stuff are you hiding from me?"

For a second, the guilt returned; he was hiding massively important things from Carlos. But as Roger would tell him, it was all for the greater good. "Can we get back on the subject? It's getting late and your mom's going to wonder why you're not in the shower yet."

"Dude, stop calling her that. Just call her 'Mom.' She's yours, too."

It was easy to forget that. "It's hard to get used to."

"I know, but...we're family now. Forever. Right?"

Logan heard it in the question—Carlos needed him to say yes. "Right. You don't have to be afraid to grow up, Carlos. We'll take care of you."

Carlos bit his lip. "But in a few months, you'll all be gone to college. Papi says not to worry about it, that I'll make new friends if I go to the community college. Or if I get a job. But I don't want new friends! I only have a few more months with all you guys and—"

"Hey," Logan interrupted softly. "Don't you think Kendall deserves to know how you feel before he's gone? That might affect his decision on where to go." When Carlos remained quiet, Logan asked, "Has he said anything about that? Where he wants to go to college?"

"Not really. He doesn't like talking about it."

That wasn't a surprise; for all the anger Kendall expressed toward James for not wanting to talk about painful subjects, he was no better. "Maybe that's because he doesn't want to go anywhere."

"Of course he does! He'd be stupid to stay here, everyone says so."

"Everyone? Do_ you _say that?"

"Duh. He's got so many choices because of his hockey skills. He could go anywhere, dude."

"That doesn't mean he_ wants_ to go anywhere." Carlos shook his head as if Logan was speaking nonsense. "All I'm saying is that without all the facts, he can't make an informed decision. He needs to know what's waiting for him here if he stays."

"Logan, he's not gonna stay!"

"Not if you don't tell him."

"No, you're being dumb. I like him, but he doesn't feel the same way about me. That's not gonna change."

"Carlos, I'm telling you that he does. If you'd just—"

"I'm out of here. You don't know what you're talking about." Carlos bent down to grab his boxers before standing.

"I do. He's as scared as you are to—"

"I told you before, Kendall's not afraid of anything."

"And I told you the day we met that Kendall's afraid of losing you. When are you going to believe me?"

"When pigs fly."

With that inexplicable comment, Carlos stormed out of the room and slammed the bedroom door. Logan groaned and flung himself back against his pillow, wondering where the people of today got these weird colloquialisms. Pigs flying? What next? He hoped Carlos would hurry in the shower because he just wanted to close his eyes and relive the best parts of last night and today but couldn't do that until Carlos had fallen asleep. Then again, Carlos might not even be speaking to him.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N—Not a lot to say right now but I hope you're all safe. As for the story, this chapter picks up directly after the last one. Logan spent James' birthday with him and Brooke, then had the talk with Sylvia about Carlos and then he and Carlos discussed Kendall before Carlos got mad and stormed out. That's where we stand at the moment.

* * *

Logan's phone buzzed on the nightstand. _Please let it be James. I miss you already._

It was Kendall instead. _"You still awake?"_

"_Yeah, waiting for Carlos to get out of the shower so I can take mine. Everything okay?"_

"_I feel kind of guilty sending you this, but you need to see it. Don't show Carlos. And maybe don't tell him either, because he'll be sad James didn't include him."_

Intrigued, Logan waited. What followed was a series of images that looked like text messages. Clicking on the first one, Logan saw that he was right—it was a screenshot of texts between James and Kendall.

The first was from James, and it showed a time of five minutes after Logan left the Diamond house. _"You're home, right?"_

"_Yeah, what's up?"_

"_Got time to talk?"_

"_Sure. You okay? I can call."_

"_No, I don't want my mom to overhear. I need to tell you something but I need to know you won't hate me."_

"_I swear to God, if you're telling me that you're running away after everything that happened since last night, I WILL hate you."_

"_No, nothing like that. I'm sorry I was a dick about it. I was just scared."_

"_I know. I tried to tell you that. I'm glad you stayed."_

"_Me too. Logan promised you would all be there to help me through this."_

"_We will. I swear, James. You just have to talk to us. Be open with us."_

_"This is me trying to do that. It's scary."_

"_I know but we're your best friends. You can talk to us. So what's going on?"_

"_I don't really know how to say it but I'm going crazy and I have to tell someone. Please don't be weird about it. I'm trusting you to not be weird."_

"_Okay? I'll do my best."_

"_It's about Logan. We've talked a lot since he moved here, you know? He's really cool."_

"_Yeah. Are you gonna tell me you're in love with him? Because if you are, that's okay."_

"_You don't think it's gross or weird?"_

"_I might if I didn't feel the same way about Carlos."_

"_Dude, what? Since when?"_

"_I don't know, it just happened."_

"_You guys are a thing and you didn't tell me?"_

"_No, he doesn't know how I feel. Please don't tell him."_

"_Fine, but why didn't you tell ME?"_

"_You had enough going on. And because it's scary. You're all about your image and being tough, I didn't know if you'd hate me for being into a dude. But now that I've seen how you are with Logan, I know you'll be cool about it."_

"_Is that why you never went for Mindy? Because she's actually really hot."_

"_If I was into girls, I probably would have."_

"_So you're not at all? It's all guys for you?"_

"_So far. I don't really know, I just know how I feel about Carlos."_

"_I think you should tell him. He worships you, Kendall."_

"_Not like that."_

"_But imagine how much it would boost his confidence, knowing someone as cool as you is into him."_

"_It would also change things. I don't want to lose him or push him away."_

"_What if it just made you guys closer?"_

"_Can you honestly see that happening, James? He'd feel weird around me. Wouldn't want to spend the night anymore or be close to me."_

"_I'm telling you, it's just gonna make him feel better about himself. He needs that."_

"_Well, he has Denise for that."_

"_No, he doesn't. She's not into him."_

"_She's not?"_

"_No. Don't ask how I know, just trust me."_

"_For sure? She's not trying to date him?"_

"_Nope."_

"_But he still likes her."_

"_Look, I'm not gonna tell you how to live your love life. If you don't want to tell Carlos, I understand. I just needed to talk about Logan to someone."_

"_How was it today?"_

"_Amazing. The best birthday I've ever had. You guys were so great with the breakfast party, then I got to cuddle on the couch with Logan all day and watch movies. I miss him already."_

"_Your mom was okay with that?"_

"_Dude, Mom's been bugging me to go out with him for like a week. She wants us to get married. It's so crazy!"_

"_Wow. I wish my mom would react like that."_

"_Your mom's not gonna be mad if you tell her you like guys."_

"_She might. Unless I have a reason to, I'm not risking it. So are you and Logan a thing now? Officially?"_

"_We're friends. That's what we decided, at least until graduation."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because he says I won't be focused on school if we're making out all the time. And honestly? He's not wrong. We made out a little today and I can't stop thinking about it. It sucks, I just want to kiss him all the time."_

"_That's how I feel about Carlos. It's hard being around him so much, especially when we're alone. Today I wanted to so many times!"_

"_Maybe you should. Instead of telling him and giving him time to think about it, just kiss him. No warning. I bet he ends up liking it."_

"_No, that's not fair to him. If he doesn't like me, I'm not gonna force it."_

"_Okay. Just an idea."_

"_But you and Logan are really okay with just being friends?"_

"_I'm not really okay with it but I get it. He's doing all this stuff to help me, I don't want to make it harder on him. Plus it's only a few months until graduation. He's worth it."_

"_Man, you are so into him."_

"_He's incredible, Kendall. He's seen me at my worst and he still loves me. I mean, think about what a dick I've been to him. And he still didn't walk away. I don't deserve him."_

"_Just treat him good, make up for the past. I'm glad you have him to help you through everything. But remember that me and Carlos and still here, too. And we care, dude."_

"_I know, you guys are the best. When I broke up with Mandy I didn't think I'd be seeing her again, so school is gonna suck tomorrow when I'm hanging out with all you guys. And she knows how Logan feels about me. What if she tells everyone? How does it look that I'm friends with a guy who wants me?"_

"_So you don't want anyone to know you like guys?"_

"_They can't. It's my career on the line."_

"_I guess you could pretend like you still hate him. But that might be hard, and I don't think he'd go for it."_

"_He'd never go for it."_

"_Then if anyone asks, just say you guys talked it out and you're cool now. That he knows you're just friends and respects that. You don't have to justify your friendship to anyone."_

"_I guess. It's just Mandy I'm worried about. She's really popular, she could make my life hell."_

"_Try not to worry about her. You have enough to deal with. Just focus on your mom and school. Carlos and I will take care of anyone who messes with you."_

"_I love you guys. I'm sorry I pushed you away. Thanks for being cool about all this."_

"_No sweat, dude. Just keep your mouth shut about Carlos."_

"_Okay. Does he know how Logan feels about me?"_

"_Yeah. And Logan knows how I feel about Carlos. He figured it out. But he won't tell Carlos, either."_

"_You can trust him. He's a pain in my ass, but he's trustworthy. And so hot, holy shit. Who knew a nerd could be so hot?"_

"_He really cares about you, James. He just wants you to be happy."_

"_I know. I'm an idiot for fighting it as long as I did. I just wasn't sure of his motives, and I didn't want to risk anyone finding out I like guys. But I'm glad he didn't let me run."_

"_Me too. How's your mom?"_

"_Tired. I'm determined to make her talk tomorrow. We need to be more open about everything."_

"_I've been telling you that for months."_

"_I know. Guess it just took a hot nerd to make me believe it."_

"_Well, on that note I need to get to bed. I'm jealous that you got to make out with Logan while I can't even hold Carlos' hand."_

"_You could if you just tried. Maybe he's just never considered guys as an option before. You could be the one to open his eyes. Because trust me, if anyone can turn him, it's you."_

"_I'm not turning anyone. Goodnight, James. Thanks for trusting me with your secret."_

"_Thanks for listening and not making me feel like a freak. Goodnight."_

That was the end of the long conversation. Logan smiled as he skimmed through it a second time, then sent Kendall,_ "Thanks for showing me that. I'm glad he's embracing his feelings instead of running from them. Admitting it to you is a huge step."_

"_I thought so, too."_

"_And you admitting your own feelings to James is a step, too. For the record, I agree with James. I think you should try kissing Carlos and see what happens."_

"_Oh my god, will you stop with that? That's not why I showed you the texts."_

"_Just making a point. I'll text James before bed to let him know I miss him. Thanks, Kendall."_

"_Anytime. See you tomorrow. Can we all walk to school together now? Since the whole 'I hate Logan' thing is done?"_

"_Fine with me. Carlos will be happy, too. Goodnight."_

"_Night!"_

Five minutes later, Logan was still lying in bed with a smile on his face. It was good to be loved. Hearing Carlos' voice out in the hall, he sat up and sent a quick message to James. Better to do it now in case James went to bed soon.

"_Hey. I love you and I miss you. Oh, and Happy Birthday! See you tomorrow."_

"_I was just thinking about you. I miss you, too. Sure you can't come back? Or I could sneak in again and cuddle."_

"_Carlos might notice."_

"_Oh, right. Damn. Fine, I'll suffer until morning. Can I walk to school with you?"_

"_It's already been decided. You doing okay?"_

"_I've never been better. Except for the fact that my mom is dying, I'm happier than I've ever been. Thanks for that."_

"_You're welcome. I'm always here for you, James."_

"_I know. See you tomorrow."_

"_Night."_

"_I love you."_

Logan's heart fluttered. Seeing it in writing was so much more permanent than a whispered, "I think I love you." He messed with the phone's keyboard until he found a heart to send back.

Life could be worse.

* * *

The following morning played out the way Logan thought it should have from the start—he and Carlos walked to James' house, where Kendall was soon dropped off to walk with them to school. James refrained from any outward affection other than perhaps walking closer to Logan than most would. Logan was content with that and just happy to have him there and laughing with them.

They all met up again for lunch, but this time in the library at Logan's suggestion. He knew that James feared retaliation from Mandy and thought it best to keep them away from each other when possible. He led them to the corner table he'd used before to sulk, amazed at how far he'd come when James smiled while taking the chair next to his and said, "Does this mean we have to be quiet? I'm not sure Carlos is capable of that."

"I can be quiet!" Carlos exclaimed, causing the others to chuckle as James' point was made. Carlos blushed before trying again in a softer voice. "See? I know how."

"You got this, buddy," Kendall assured him with a pat to Carlos' shoulder. He sat between James and Carlos and opened his lunch bag to pull out string cheese. "Here you go."

"Thanks, bro!" When James shushed him, he sighed. "I'll get used to it."

Logan shook his head. "Don't worry about it. There's a reason I chose a table far away from everyone. James, want my pudding?"

James perked up. "You don't?"

"I have yogurt. This is left over from Friday, I never ate it."

"Hell yeah! Thanks!"

They all settled into their food, the table calm for a minute. Logan wondered how to bring up the subject he'd promised Sylvia he would. "So this is nice. All of us eating together for a change."

James' gaze ducked away. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was..."

"Doesn't matter," Kendall said. "You're here now."

"Exactly," Logan agreed. "We're all together now. Or...at least for a few months. I know what James' plans are after graduation. What about you, Kendall?"

Kendall's expression soured, as if his sandwich suddenly tasted bad. "I'm...not sure yet."

James shared proudly, "Kendall's gotten three scholarship offers. He's still deciding which one to take."

"Deadline has to be approaching pretty fast, doesn't it?" Logan prompted.

Kendall struggled to swallow his food. "Friday. I have to decide by Friday."

Logan glanced over at Carlos, who had grown uncharacteristically quiet in his focus on peeling off strings of cheese. He knew Carlos was listening closely, though.

"Which one are you leaning toward?" James asked. "I mean, USC has a great hockey program and they really want you."

"Yeah, they're pretty cool," Kendall shrugged. "I don't know, though. California's so far away." After a beat he added, "From Mom and Katie, I mean. I'd hate to leave them alone. They depend on me."

James lifted an eyebrow. "Your mom is the one pushing you to choose USC. I think she's fine with it. And you know Sylvia and Papi would make sure they're taken care of."

"I'll still be here," Carlos pointed out. "We won't let anything happen to them, Kendall."

Kendall nodded slowly, gaze on the orange he was holding but not breaking open. "Thanks."

Carlos bit his lip. "So...USC, then?"

"That would be the smart choice," Kendall replied. "Still making up my mind." He suddenly looked up to stare at Carlos. "What do you think I should do?"

"Me? What do I know about universities? I don't even know if I'll graduate."

"But if you do, then what? We've never really talked about it, Carlos. What do you want to do with your life?"

Put on the spot as everyone looked at him, Carlos shrugged. "I try not to think too much about the future. When I do, I just get..."

Logan thought he knew how Carlos would finish that sentence if he could find the right words. _Lonely. Sad. Scared. _ "Kendall, do you have an option that won't take you so far away?"

"Not with a scholarship," he answered. "And we really can't afford university without one."

"What about financial aid?"

"Mom says it makes more sense to use a scholarship because I won't have to pay that back."

"True," Logan nodded, "but what would make you happier in the long run? I mean, let's say you qualified for financial aid at a local university. You take the same path here that you would in California, end up getting scouted by a pro team, and eventually sign with one. Then you'll have enough money to pay back the loan, right?"

"What would be the point of that?" James wondered. "Why not just take free money when it's offered?"

Was James being dense on purpose? Logan stepped on his foot and tilted his head toward Carlos, who was beginning to look hopeful at the notion that Kendall didn't _have_ to move across the country. "Because moving far away might not be the best option. Not if it makes Kendall miserable." _Or Carlos_, he mouthed at James. Light dawned as James began to understand.

"Is that an option?" Carlos asked Kendall. "I know how great that USC team is, we've looked into it."

Kendall studied Carlos. "Honestly...I don't know. I don't really understand how all that financial aid stuff works. But if it is...I don't want to let Mom down. She's really excited at the prospect of me getting into a great university."

"Right." Carlos deflated and reached for his yogurt.

"Then again," Kendall began, "do I really want to spend four years of my life in a place where I don't know anyone and will miss my friends so much? My family?"

Carlos stated, "You'll make new friends. All your hockey dudes. And I'm sure the girls will be all over you. You won't have time to miss us."

Kendall's head tilted to the right. "Is that really what you think, Carlos? That I wouldn't miss you? That anyone I could possibly meet in the future would be more fun than you?"

James' hand suddenly gripped Logan's knee. They hadn't discussed any of this between themselves, but James was aware that Logan knew of Kendall's feelings. He sensed what Logan did, that Kendall and Carlos were on the verge of crossing that line.

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Come on, dude. You think they wouldn't be? These are guys destined for greatness like you! There's no way I could compare to that."

"Are you kidding me? Carlos, you're fantastic at the net. You could easily get a spot on a team if you just tried. You should come with me! Wherever I decide to go, we could go together and play for the same team."

Carlos scoffed. "Dude, there's no way I'd get into a university. I might not even graduate! Even if I did, it's too late to apply."

"You'll graduate," Logan promised. "I'll make sure."

"See?" Kendall argued. "Who says it has to be a university? Maybe we could just like...find a community college. Start out there, keep our grades up, and then together we'll apply to university in a year or something. I want to play hockey and I want to do it with you. It's not gonna be any fun without you, man. Do this with me."

Carlos licked his lips, breath shallow. "You're serious? You'd give up all that to stay here with me? You might be ruining your life, Kendall, there's no guarantee I can make it and then you've wasted a year and passed up these awesome opportunities for nothing and—"

"Yes."

Carlos was stunned for a few seconds, then "Yes, what?"

"Yes, I'd give up all that to stay here with you."

James squeezed Logan's knee. Logan grinned while laying his hand over James'.

"Why?" It was so obvious to anyone who knew them, but Carlos still couldn't comprehend Kendall's reasoning. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I don't want to leave you. Because..."

James and Logan held their breaths.

"...life without you just wouldn't be..."

_Say it, Kendall_, Logan silently urged. _Just say it._

"...the same. That's why."

It was close, but not enough that Carlos would get the point. Kendall needed to just spit it out.

"You're dumb," was what Carlos finally said. "You could have it all, but you'd walk away from it for me."

"Every time," Kendall stated. "You're what matters most to me."

Carlos was speechless. His mouth moved without sound. James leaned over to whisper to Logan, "Will they just kiss already?" Logan elbowed James gently, not wanting to break the moment.

Realizing he'd probably pushed it too far, Kendall looked down at the table. Logan knew what was coming the second before it did. "I gotta go," Kendall suddenly blurted. Lunch forgotten, he grabbed his backpack and dashed away from them.

"Kendall, wait," James called out. He shoved his chair back. Logan considered stopping him to give Kendall time to recover, but thought James might be the perfect person for Kendall to talk to right now. He let James follow.

"You okay?" Logan asked once they were alone.

Carlos started as if surprised Logan was still there. "What? Yeah, just...you agree with me, right? Kendall would be an idiot to give all that up for me?"

"Not if he cares more about you than his hockey career."

"He doesn't. Kendall's smarter than that."

"You know, Carlos, I've learned a few things since moving here. One is that brains have no power over feelings. Your head tells you one thing, the _right _thing, and then your heart completely ignores it and takes whatever it wants. Common sense and love don't exist at the same time."

"Except Kendall's not in love with me. That's not what he meant."

Logan wanted to bash his head into the table. "Carlos, how many more ways can he say it? He flat-out just told you that nothing matters more than you. What else could he mean by that?" He could see that Carlos wanted to believe it—he just didn't dare. "He ran off because he was embarrassed. He basically admitted he's in love with you and thinks you don't feel the same way. Will you just tell him already?"

Carlos licked his lips while debating it. "You really think so, Logan? You're not just like...telling me what I want to hear?"

"I've been telling you this for a week. I see it, James sees it, you just need to—"

"Wait, what? _James _sees it? Did he actually say that?"

"Yes! He didn't know that you had feelings for Kendall, but he knows Kendall does for you. And_ I_ know you do for Kendall, so...what's it going to take, Carlos? When will you believe that what we see is real? He offered to give up his future just to stay here with you!"

"Oh my god," Carlos whispered. It was finally sinking in and he couldn't sit still. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, took a long swig of water, and stood up. "Where is he?"

Like Logan knew? He placed a call to James, who answered long enough to give up that information. Logan hung up and said, "Bathroom down the hall."

"Don't eat my cookie."

With that parting comment, Carlos jogged away through the stacks of books. Logan let out a deep breath, hoping Carlos wouldn't start doubting himself and chicken out. Either way, he'd made progress and could reassure Sylvia that Carlos wouldn't be left alone after graduation.

Kendall would see to that.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N—Hey guys! To those who messaged to check on me, thank you for caring. I really am fine, just been working a lot and it's more stressful than usual so my creativity has run dry. I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long, but I haven't been writing either. I was finally able to start writing again last week (not a whole lot, but it's something!) so I'm going to try to get back to my regular posting schedule. I hope you're all healthy and safe and doing what you can to stay that way!

As a refresher, the last chapter ended with them all discussing their future plans during lunch. Kendall ran out after saying too much and then Carlos ran after him. This chapter picks up where that left off. Thank you so much for reading!

* * *

Logan's sandwich was gone by the time James returned, alone. He was grinning. "Dude, I'm so sorry you missed that. It's the best thing I've ever seen." He dropped into his chair and reached for what was left of the slice of pizza he'd bought at the cafeteria.

"Did Carlos tell him?"

"He freaking ran into the bathroom, like at full speed. Almost hit me with the door when he opened it. He was like 'Kendall!' Just screamed his name looking for him, then he saw Kendall and planted one on him. What's funny is that I told Kendall last night he should do that, just kiss Carlos without warning, but Carlos is the one who did it!"

Logan remembered the text from last night and smiled. "I'm assuming Kendall kissed him back?"

"Once he realized what was happening, yeah. It was so sudden. And then he stopped it and goes, 'Wait, does this mean you like me? I thought it was just me.' Carlos is like 'You're an idiot, you should've told me!' Then they kissed again. That's when I left."

Letting out a sigh, Logan said, "Well, that's a relief. Took them long enough."

"Just how long have they felt this way?"

"I don't know, but I figured it out my first night here. When I met Kendall at the party. He was kind of rude to me because I was a threat."

James waved a dismissive hand. "He's always like that with the new foster kids. One really messed with Carlos, tried to have him arrested. So Kendall makes sure they know we have Carlos' back."

"He did that," Logan nodded. "But I could also tell he was afraid of losing Carlos. That's how I knew."

James wiped his mouth with a napkin after popping the last bit of crust into his mouth. "You know...this is weird. It's all so weird."

"How so?"

"It feels like overnight I have a boyfriend and they're together..." At a look from Logan he added, "Not that you're my boyfriend. I'm just saying...four months ago we were normal. Then Mom got diagnosed and everything since then has been so...different. My life will never be normal again."

"I know." Logan reached out for James' hand, which was on his thigh. "I'm sorry. I guess it's just part of growing up. Things change."

"It's not all bad changes. I mean, I have you now. And they'll be happier together. Carlos won't be so scared about the future, and Kendall will find a way to stay with him. Or take him along. It's just so much to deal with all at once. Plus the whole Mom thing..."

"Yeah."

James was quiet for a minute before saying, "I'm glad I'm not alone. As long as I have you, even as a friend, I'll be okay. Just don't...leave."

"Right here, James."

Their eyes met and Logan felt that pull again, the one that acted like a magnet between them whenever they kissed. He wanted that now. James' mind was clearly in the same place. This was going to be harder than Logan thought, because James was right in that once you knew it was mutual, it was more difficult to resist.

"So we have an announcement!"

Thank God for the arrival of Carlos and Kendall to break up that temptation. Logan let go of James' hand and turned to wait for Carlos to continue. Kendall stood just behind him, an arm around Carlos' waist.

"I have a boyfriend!" Carlos shared, face beaming.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "That's not exactly what I said."

"Please, what else are we? We're best friends who make out."

"It was one kiss, Carlos."

"Three, Kendall. Your mom's right, you really are bad at math."

Kendall smacked his arm before pushing him toward the chair he'd vacated earlier. "Sit down and eat your sandwich." They were both seated before Kendall said, "And James, stop smiling at me like that. You were right, okay? Big deal."

"It is a big deal," James grinned. "My best friends are in love. It's awesome. Just so you know, you won't have to hide it from my mom. She's apparently on board with that sort of thing."

"We're not gonna hide it from anyone," Kendall stated. "I don't like pretending to be something I'm not, and I'm not ashamed of Carlos. But even if I was, Carlos can't keep a secret for anything."

"I can, too!" Carlos argued. "I mean, if it's really juicy, then no. No way. And...yeah, this is a big one so okay, you're right."

Kendall smirked. "Exactly. But first we'll need to tell our parents. Carlos says that's not an issue for him, because Logan already told them about himself?"

"Really?" James asked in surprise. "When?"

"Last night. Sylvia and I talked on the way home from your house. She doesn't know about our feelings for each other, but she does know that I'm gay. She said she and Papi love me anyway and I know that will be the case with Carlos, as well."

"Huh," James mused. "That's good. So it's just Mama Knight we have to worry about? And Katie?"

"Are you kidding?" Carlos scoffed through a chewed mess of turkey and bread. "Katie loves me! Mama Knight does, too!"

Kendall shook his head. "Carlos, it might be different once she knows you're more than a friend. James says she'll probably be okay with it, but I don't know. It's scary. Imagine if Logan hadn't had that talk with your mom. How scared would you be?"

"Terrified," Carlos admitted. "Are you saying you don't want them to know?"

"No, for all the reasons I just said. I'm not ashamed, I don't like to pretend, and you can't keep a secret anyway. I'll talk it over with them tonight. Or mom, at least. Katie...I'll have to figure out how to go about that. But until then, can we play it cool? Don't say or do anything in front of your mom because she might tell mine before I have a chance to."

"Okay. What are we doing after school? Logan's going to James' house. We don't have hockey. Want to go make out in my room? Mom will be at work until five."

Kendall's mouth moved before he could find words. "Look, I've been wanting this for a long time, but it's all kind of new to me. Can we just...see how it goes? Not just jump right into the making out?"

James stifled a laugh. When Kendall glared at him, he said, "Dude, sorry. I just know what it's like, and once you guys are alone and kissing, you'll change your mind on that."

"Maybe, but for now it's all new and I don't even like talking about it. Carlos, why don't we look into the financial aid thing after school? We can do our homework, like _really_ do it and not get distracted by games, because we need you to graduate for this to work. Then we'll research and see what our options are."

Carlos nodded. "Can we kiss at least once before Mom gets home?"

"I'm not gonna say no to that."

They grinned at each other just as the bell rang. Logan jumped up in surprise. "I didn't realize it was that late. James, where are we meeting after school?"

"I'll come to your locker. We can all walk home together, right?"

The plan was agreed upon. After packing up their belongings, Kendall leaned down to peck a kiss to Carlos' lips. "See you after school."

"Man, I'm really gonna love being your boyfriend. Can we hold hands?"

"Not yet." Kendall did wind an arm over Carlos' shoulders, though, to lead him out of the library. "We'll all meet at Logan's locker!" he called back.

"Sounds good." Logan turned to James, stopping himself from the kiss that almost happened because it felt natural now. "Sorry."

James shrugged. "It's not like I wasn't thinking the same thing. How about I just walk you to class instead?"

"Deal," Logan grinned. They moved toward the exit. "It was weird actually sitting by you in biology today. Having a conversation."

"Awesome though, right?"

"Very much so. It was also nice to see you paying attention to Mrs. Simmons. You even got the answer right when she called on you."

"Hey, I listen sometimes." After a moment he added, "What she was talking about today was actually interesting."

"It's all interesting, James. You just have to open your mind. The human body is fascinating."

James leaned closer to whisper, "Well, I know _yours_ is."

Logan elbowed him but laughed. They may not be able to touch, but what harm could a little flirting do?

* * *

What Logan learned after an hour of studying at the Diamond home was that a little flirting when alone could lead to "maybe _one_ kiss is okay" and "well, maybe just one more" until they were caught by Brooke.

"Hey!" she yelled when catching sight of them with their lips glued together at the dining room table. "I thought this was study time!"

They jumped apart, both turning red while Logan cleared his throat. "And I thought you were the one telling me to take things further with him."

"Don't twist my words, Logan, that's not what I said. I need my son to graduate. And didn't you say you two agreed to be just friends?"

"Right. We did. That was...it wasn't supposed to happen."

Brooke smirked at them, not having to vocalize her "I told you it wouldn't last" thoughts out loud. "I'm ordering us Mexican for dinner. Logan, is there anything you don't eat?"

"I'll try anything. James and Carlos are opening up my palate, so to speak. But food that's too spicy gives me heartburn."

"Wimp," James muttered as he copied notes from his textbook.

"I have the same problem these days," Brooke sighed. "I know just what to order for us. How does six sound?"

"Perfect, that gives us two hours to make it through homework and get started on James' project."

"You're doing a project?" Brooke asked. "For which class?"

The "project" was him learning about cancer. Not wanting to admit that, James answered, "Biology." It wasn't a lie. "Mom, can we talk after dinner? Like..._really_ talk?"

She sobered but nodded. "Yes. I think that's a good idea. Logan, are you leaving after dinner?"

"If you want me to, I will."

James interrupted. "No, he's not leaving until nine. He promised."

"James, it's fine," Brooke assured him. "I think that's best. I'm going to place the order for dinner and then nap, I'm tired today. Can you boys get the food when it's delivered and wake me up?"

"Absolutely. You go up and rest, Brooke." Logan could tell just how tired she was by the fact that she didn't scold him for mothering her. Without asking, he followed her to the staircase and let her lean on him while they climbed it.

"Thank you," she said softly once they reached the top. "I'm fine."

Logan waited until she'd gone into her bedroom and closed the door, then turned to find James at the bottom of the steps. "Is she okay?"

"Just really tired. It's normal with cancer, and especially after a chemo treatment. Did she have that today?"

"Maybe. I didn't ask."

"We'll need to know her treatment schedule so we can be here for her when she needs us. Because she won't ask."

"Yeah."

James' thoughts turned inward, his arms wrapping around his stomach. Logan rushed down the stairs to settle an arm over his shoulders. "She's okay. She just needs rest."

"It's not going to get any better, is it? Like how she is now...she won't ever be better. Only worse."

"She'll have her good and bad days. We'll talk about it after homework, okay? Let's get through that and then we can focus on this. And no more kissing."

James offered him a wan smile. "Yes, Professor Mitchell."

For some reason, that term coming from James Diamond's mouth jolted Logan. It reminded him of where he came from and who he was before all of this. Sometimes that all felt like a dream. Now it was real, though, and he was a former professor who was teaching the man he'd learned everything from. It made his head hurt to think about it.

_It's fine, Logan. You're doing the right thing. Just get James interested in microbiology and genetic engineering. He'll take it from there._

* * *

Because there was a lot to take in, they studied the basics of breast cancer and the different types of treatments rather than go too deep. Logan's knowledge of Brooke's condition was limited to her date of death and not much else, as James had kept (or _would_ keep) the details private upon her passing. Brooke herself had informed James that it was breast cancer before deciding she didn't want to discuss it further and cutting off any questions he might come up with.

Logan could see that it was all overwhelming to James, especially the medical terminology, and helped explain what he could in plain English as it related to Brooke. It still amazed him that he _had_ to explain it that way to a man who would soon become a genius on the matter, but he was here to guide James and that's what he did.

Dinner was a pleasant affair, with James sharing details about his day (minus the Kendall and Carlos development) when asked to by Brooke. Over chicken enchiladas with a sour cream sauce, Logan also contributed to the discussion about school and what each of them was studying in class. She was overjoyed to hear they shared biology, because "that way Logan will know if you're bullshitting him about homework that needs to be done." James took offense, reminding her that his goal was to graduate and it wouldn't help the cause to deceive the one person devoted to aiding him in that. Logan quickly agreed.

As Brooke pushed her plate away with only about a third of it eaten, James asked, "Not hungry?"

"Not really."

He'd read earlier that loss of appetite was a side effect of chemotherapy. Assuming Brooke had been through that today, James tried, "So...how was _your_ day?"

She shrugged while reaching for a glass of water. "Just like every other Monday since I stopped working."

"Which tells me nothing, since I don't know anything about your schedule," James pointed out. He set down his fork and leaned back in the chair. "Did you do chemotherapy today?"

Brooke licked her lips, not wanting to have this discussion but knowing it was necessary. She nodded.

"How often do you do that?"

"Once a week. Usually on Monday."

"And it's uh...breast cancer?" Logan pressed. He was trying to get the ball rolling so they could move past this stilted and awkward conversation to a real discussion.

"It is," Brooke confirmed.

"Um..." James cleared his throat, uncomfortable. Logan had purposely taken the chair next to him rather than across, knowing James would need him within reach. He settled his hand over James' now to urge him on. "So...I was reading..._we_ were reading...that if the tumor isn't too big, they can remove it with surgery."

"That's true."

They waited for more, but Brooke left it at that. James was stuck, so Logan took over. "Is that not an option for you? How advanced is it?"

Brooke suddenly stood from the table and moved toward the kitchen. Logan could see that she was moving with difficulty and trying not to show it; maybe they should've done this another night.

"Mom!" James called out. "Don't you dare run, we need to talk about this!"

"Relax, James, I'm coming right back."

"Hey," Logan whispered. "Go easy on her. She's had a rough day."

"I know, but...we need to know these things."

"We will. Just...let her take it at her own pace."

When she returned, it was with a glass of wine. Logan said, "Uh, Brooke, I'm not sure that's a good idea right now. Alcohol can interfere with the treatment."

"Logan, it's the only way I'm going to sleep tonight. As tired as I am, my nerves are shot and I won't be able to without this. My doctor, my _actual_ doctor—as opposed to the one who insists on giving me medical advice without invitation—said as long as I keep it to a minimum, I'm allowed a glass of wine occasionally. On this occasion, I need it." To prove her point, she took a swallow and closed her eyes.

James jumped to Logan's defense. "Mom, it's because he cares. Trust me, I know it's annoying when he won't shut up and tries to help, but he cares. No offense, Logan."

Logan was too amused to be offended. "It's true. I care. Are you ready for real talk now?"

She took a smaller sip this time before setting down the glass. "No, but let's get this over with." After taking a breath, she stated, "I have stage four breast cancer. It is terminal. The chemotherapy is more to make me comfortable than to cure it, because I refuse to die until I know my son has his shit together. Eventually the pain will become too great and I'll add radiation to the mix, but that won't work forever either. For now, I go in for treatment once a week and it gets me through until the next time. It also makes me sick for a few days, which is why I hide in my bedroom as much as I can during that time. Not that you'd notice, since you're never here."

The last part was said without reproach; Brooke wasn't attacking James for that, only making a point. James ignored that anyway because he was shocked by other things she'd said. "Stage four? Did you say stage_ four_? But that means it's meta...meta..."

"Metastasized," Logan offered.

"Yeah. That. It's moved to another part of your body, right? How is that even possible, Mom? How could you not know something was wrong before it got that bad?"

Logan replied, "Sometimes people don't know, James. There aren't always signs before it gets to that point. Some people don't get diagnosed until it's reached that stage."

James shook his head. "No, that's not...everything we read, there are signs. With breast cancer, there are _signs_. Were you not getting annual check-ups? Didn't your doctor do breast exams?" Brooke looked away. "Mom, I know you worked all the time, but...did you really not ever see a doctor?"

Another sip of wine fortified Brooke. She asked, "Do you remember that retreat I went to when you were younger? You stayed at Kendall's for two weeks?"

"What?" Obviously having no idea what that had to do with any of this, James stared at her like she was losing her mind. "The retreat? What are you even talking about?"

"Do you remember that, James? You said I hadn't gotten enough sun and looked pale when I came back."

James blinked a few times. "I...guess? I was in like sixth grade?"

"Right," Brooke nodded. "I lied, James. I wasn't at a retreat. I was having a breast removed. That was the first time I had cancer."

Logan's head fell back in resignation. He knew James wasn't going to handle this well.

James sat in silence, a stunned expression on his face before he shook his head again. "No. That's impossible. You have two of them!"

"One's fake."

"What?" James actually laughed in disbelief. "Mom, come on, I'm not stupid. I think I'd know if—"

Brooke deftly reached inside the collar of her sweater and came out with a flesh-colored prosthetic breast. She tossed it onto the table. James gasped and backed his chair away fast as if it was alive.

"What the fuck, Mom? What the _fuck_?!"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but you were too young to understand."

"No." James was staring at the table in horror. His gaze moved to his mother's sweater, where one side of her chest was now flat. "Mom...no. _No. _ How the fuck did you hide this from me?"

"It's not like I ever undress in front of you. I'm extremely careful. I hoped you'd never have to know."

Logan reached out for James, but he wasn't having it. He stood up and paced away from the table to put distance between himself and the proof of his mother's betrayal. "I don't...I can't...did they know? Jennifer and Kendall...have they lied to me all these years?"

"No. Baby, no, nobody knew. Not even work. I could've just had the tumor itself removed but that wouldn't guarantee the cancer was gone. I needed something permanent so I could get back to work without worrying it would come back."

"Well, guess what, Mom? It's not gone! It's right fucking here again!"

Logan couldn't take watching James falling apart. He rose from the table to embrace James, who was shaking and taking shallow breaths. "Hey," Logan whispered. "It's okay. She's okay."

"It's not okay! My mom fucking lied to me all these years!"

Brooke sighed. "James...baby please, listen to me. Try to understand that I didn't want to upset you or worry you. I took care of the problem, there was no need for you to know."

"But you didn't, Mom!" James yelled. He broke away from Logan. "Because it's never completely gone, I read that today! There's always a chance it'll come back! Were you getting examined regularly?"

"Yes. Every year, James. I can't help that it came back. I hoped it was done." Her composure fell, eyes welling up with tears. "I didn't want this to happen. I don't want to die on you."

Her tears were enough to break through James' anger. His own eyes misted over and his bottom lip trembled. "Mom..." He knelt next to her chair, pressing his face to her stomach. She held him tight, bending her head to his.

"I'm sorry, baby. I should've told you, should've prepared you for this. It was just easier to forget about it. And then my back started hurting, remember I was having all that pain..."

"Oh my god," James choked out. "That was cancer?"

Logan had moved to James' abandoned chair and pulled it back to the table. He laid a hand on James' back and asked, "It's in the spine?"

"Yes," Brooke managed. "There's no way to..."

No, there wouldn't be. Maybe if this was a first-time tumor in that area, but one that had spread and come back more aggressively...Logan didn't think there was a way to get that out without damaging the spine. "Brooke, I'm so sorry."

James was sobbing into her lap now. Logan rubbed his back. "How long?" James asked.

Logan spoke up. "We can't really know, James." It was a lie, Logan did know.

"Mom...how long?"

"They said a year at the most. It's possible to live longer, but...once the pain gets that bad..."

James lost all semblance of control then. His body heaved as he cried. Logan shoved the chair away again and moved in behind him, doing his best to hold James while Brooke did the same. Nothing was said for a long time, but the sound of James' sobs tore Logan's heart out. He backed up when James lifted his head and reached for a napkin, then handed one to Brooke as well. Both faces were red and splotchy, matching hazel eyes swollen.

"James...can you forgive me? For keeping this from you? For refusing to talk about it and shutting you out?"

It wasn't something James would get over easily, but he nodded. He was mature enough to know it wasn't worth holding a grudge when time was running out. "I'm sorry I've been gone so much. It's so hard to look at you sometimes and know you won't always be here."

"It's hard for me, too. I'm so scared for you, worried that you'll be alone and turn into an angry, bitter man."

"Neither of those things will happen," Logan promised.

"Logan, I'm so glad you're here." Brooke reached out to hug him, James moving out of the way to stand on legs that had stiffened up. "Take care of my baby."

"I already said I would. We're here for you. Every step of the way, we're right here. We won't let you die alone."

More composed now, James took the chair. "Tell me what you need from me. From us."

"I just need you to take care of yourself. Make your dreams come true. Be happy."

"No, Mom. On a daily basis, how can we help? I don't want to miss this stuff anymore, I want to be with you through all of it."

"I was trying to spare you," Brooke sighed. "You don't need to see me in pain."

"And you don't need to be alone through your pain," James countered. "What time are your appointments?"

"I have a lot these days. Chemo once a week, and I see my oncologist every other. My primary doctor once a month."

"We didn't read up a lot about what the chemo is like. How does that work?"

Logan moved to his original chair while Brooke answered. "It's an IV. It takes about an hour, I just sit in the room and read or watch a show to pass the time."

"Does it hurt?" James needed to know. "Don't lie to me."

"The treatment itself is painless. It's the aftermath that's tough. But that passes and I have a few good days where it's all tolerable. Then the cycle repeats."

James nodded. "So I'm gonna learn how to drive and I'm going to take you for that every week. In the meantime, I'll just go with you."

Brooke protested, "No James, you can't keep missing school, you've already—"

Logan silenced her with, "You had the same idea, Brooke. You said you enjoyed having his company so much that you would consider keeping him home one day a week for that."

Brooke glared at him. "Thank you for keeping our discussion confidential, Dr. Mitchell."

Logan smiled, undeterred. "I have a license. I'll be driving you both. I just maybe need a refresher course because it's been a long time since I've been behind the wheel." And there was also the fact that he'd never driven a current model of car.

"Mom, you can teach us together. On your good days, we can go out for an hour before dinner or something. I mean, Logan could teach me once he's good. Then I'll get a license too and we could—"

"Okay!" Brooke held up her hands in surrender. "Fine, you can drive me to chemo once a week. But Logan, Sylvia is not going to allow you to miss school every week. I can promise you that."

"What time are the appointments?" Logan asked.

"In the afternoon."

"Then I'll just miss a half day or something. She might not be happy but I think she'll understand."

"And Mom, you can schedule the other appointments later in the afternoon so we can take you after school."

"Boys, you have enough to worry about with graduation coming up and finals and—"

"You come first," James stated. "Logan's a genius, he'll make sure I still get my schoolwork done and pass my tests. We're a team, okay? Not just him and me, but all of us. We'll make it work."

"Oh, you boys and your blind optimism. It's nauseating." Brooke reached for the wine.

James smirked. "Nope, that's just the chemo."

The fact that James was able to joke now showed Logan that he was going to be okay. Brooke swatted his shoulder lightly. "Can I go to bed now? Or are you going to talk me to death?"

"Blame Logan, he's the talker. This is all his fault. Without him, we'd still just be ignoring each other and pretending everything's fine."

"Thanks a lot, Logan," Brooke said sarcastically. Then she smiled and said more gently, "But seriously. Thank you, Logan."

"It's what I'm here for. Don't even think about cleaning up dinner, we got this."

"Good, because all I want to do is collapse into bed."

James stood up. "Here, let me help."

Logan picked up the dishes and left them to it. He heard them laugh as they traversed the stairs, and his heart lifted.

One more step taken on the road to James' destiny.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N—Hello again. I wasn't sure I should post this chapter since I've barely written anything this week, but I'm trying to get on a more regular schedule so this one's going up. I'm glad you guys are still enjoying the story. :) Here's hoping everyone is safe and mentally well. It feels like every time things start to calm down, something new pops up and it's so stressful, right? I'm grateful to have fic (both to read and write) as an escape. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Logan was about to start the dishwasher when James hailed him from behind. "Wait, I brought down some bowls from Mom's room. Is there space for them?"

"Just enough." Logan reached back for the dishes. He rinsed them while James opened the dishwasher. "So I was thinking."

"God help us all," James quipped.

"Shut up, you're going to like this idea," Logan chuckled. He passed James a bowl. "You haven't been here much for dinner over the past few months, right?"

"No, not really. I was a few days last week."

"But you will be now."

"_We_ will be, yes." James shifted dishes to fit the last bowl in.

"I noticed your mom orders out a lot. I don't know if that's because of the cancer, or—"

"Mom's never been great in the kitchen. Even before all this, she worked late a lot and when I was home I'd just order something."

Logan took a moment to turn on the dishwasher, having been taught how to run one by Sylvia, and then spun to face James—who was entirely too close. Logan's breath caught before he slid away. "I was thinking I could help with that. Maybe a few days a week I can cook dinner. It would give you some time to spend alone with your mom, and save money. I don't know what your financial situation is like, but—"

"You know, one thing we've never had to worry about is money. Not once Mom started working, anyway. But I know all this medical shit can't be cheap. I really have no idea where we stand at this point."

"That's something you two need to discuss. It would help to know what you'll be left with once she passes. But there's time for that. So how about tomorrow after school we go grocery shopping? I can plan some meals tonight for the week, and then we'll make it a habit to stock up over the weekend."

James studied him with a cocked head. "Do you actually _like_ to cook?"

"I do," Logan shrugged. He'd had food delivered most nights after a long day at the university, but since arriving in the past had come to enjoy time in the kitchen. "Would your mom be okay with that?"

"Who cares if she's not? I've had your soup. That's good enough for me. Can we have that tomorrow night? Wait, will you still have time to help me study if you're cooking every night?"

"Not every night," Logan corrected. "Because you're right, we have a lot to do. Maybe three nights a week? Four?"

"Okay, cool. Yeah, we'll hire a car to take us to the store after school tomorrow. And you can get the soup going while I work on that essay I'm dreading."

"You'll do fine," Logan smiled. "I'll help you." He held out a hand to James to lead him out of the kitchen. "Do you need to talk? I know that whole conversation was rough."

"Dude, you know what I really want right now? Can we just watch some TV or a movie?"

"Yeah. Are you sure, though? If you ever need to talk, I'm—"

"Logan, haven't I talked enough in the past forty-eight hours? Let me just stop thinking for five seconds."

Logan thought that was fair. "Okay. We'll watch whatever you want. Even 'South Park' if you need to laugh."

"Nah, I'm good with 'Star Trek.'"

They both stopped walking at the sight of the prosthetic breast laying on the dining room table. "I uh...I wasn't sure what to do with that," Logan admitted. "Should we take it up to her?"

"I'm not touching that," James stated. "That thing freaks me out."

"Yeah, it's..." Logan laughed in agreement. "Let's just leave it."

For the rest of the evening, neither mentioned Brooke, cancer, or schoolwork. They used the time to decompress and lose themselves in fiction, and Logan thought that if every night ended this way, his life would be a success.

* * *

At home Logan was greeted by Papi, who was sprawled out in the living room chair watching television. Next he stopped in the kitchen to catch up with Sylvia. He shared that things were progressing well between James and Brooke, and that they were finally talking openly and working together to face the coming months. He also asked her to send him a link to the recipe for the mac and cheese James had enjoyed, and then they said goodnight. Logan sensed there was something else she wanted to discuss, but perhaps seeing that he was exhausted, she let him go. He didn't argue.

Carlos was in the shower, but when he entered the room to find Logan unpacking books from his backpack, he gasped. "Logan! Oh my god, I thought you'd never get home!"

Logan smirked while watching Carlos drop his dirty clothes on the floor. "You know, we do have a hamper in the closet. Would you like me to introduce you?"

"Dude, who cares about that? I have important things to tell you!" Carlos hopped onto his bed, the mattress straining against his ebullience. "Wait, first is James okay? Is Brooke? Everything's okay?"

"Everything's okay," Logan assured him. "They did a lot of talking tonight. We're going to help her with things around the house and taking her to doctor appointments. Your mom said she and Jennifer are going to offer help, too, so between all of us Brooke will be fine. Well...in a manner of speaking."

"Yeah. I wish we could make it go away."

"Me, too." Not wanting to dwell on that, Logan asked, "So what's the big news? Did you kiss Kendall again?"

"I did! We snuck a kiss before he left today. But that's not the big news!"

Desperately wishing for a shower, Logan ignored the desire because Carlos needed to talk. He settled back against his headboard. "Go for it."

"I have a boyfriend!"

One of Logan's brows lifted. "Officially this time?"

"Officially! Kendall wasn't lying about wanting to come clean. As soon as Mom got home from work and started dinner, he made me tell her. Actually, I chickened out. He had to tell her. And he was scared, too, but Logan, you should've heard him! He sounded so grown up. He was like 'I know this might be difficult to understand, but I care about your son and I want to be honest with you instead of hiding it.' He told her he was thinking about staying here just to be with me. For _me_!"

"Yeah, he mentioned that earlier, if I recall," Logan grinned. Carlos still couldn't believe he was worth that. "How did your mom react?" Before Carlos could say it, he amended that to, "Mom. _Our_ mom."

"She was mostly shocked. Maybe because Kendall just said it like that, no wimping out. But she came over to the table and sat down with us, and asked Kendall if he was sure about staying. Because I mean, he's giving up a lot, you know?"

"I do know," Logan nodded.

"And we did look into all that stuff like you said. You're right, there are programs. And did you know they have scholarships for weird things, too? Not just getting good grades, but like...even being left-handed. Too bad I'm not. But still! You know what we learned? There's a community college an hour away with a hockey team. We didn't even know that's a thing! They have a two-year program where we can be on the team and go to that school and still be recruited into a minor league team. Kendall says it will be really hard to be accepted on the team since our season's done and the coaches can't come watch us play, but he's gonna talk to Coach and see if he can pull some strings for us. Maybe send them video or something. If there's a way, Kendall will find it. So we can stay together!"

"That's really great, Carlos. I'm so proud of you guys for actually figuring this out. So your...so Mom was okay with everything?"

"Dude, she was actually happy. I never expected that, I thought Mom would be upset that I want to be with a guy."

"I told you she would accept you."

"Yeah, but accepting is one thing. She seemed relieved. Like she was hoping for something like this. She said to tell her how she can help. Kendall said we'll have to get our licenses so we can drive to the college every day, and she said Papi will teach us. Papi's really good at driving."

"How did he react to the news about you and Kendall?"

Carlos didn't gush with this answer. "He seemed okay. Not happy like Mom, but not mad either. Mom said to let her tell him, and after dinner I went downstairs to watch TV. He came down and talked to me, and it was weird. Like he didn't know what to say. I know he was cool about you so I thought we'd be great. It was just...weird. But he did tell me he loves me and he knows Kendall's a good guy, and if I ever need to talk to him, I can. This is so crazy, not only does Kendall know how I feel, but my parents do, too! And Kendall _likes _me! I can't believe my life! Ever since you came here, things have been crazy but I'm so happy!"

_Ever since you came here..._

An uneasy feeling worked its way up Logan's chest. _Ever since you came here._ His mission had been to observe. To ensure. To guide, if need be, if James veered off path. It had never been to adjust or change the course of things. It had never been to influence.

_What have you done, Logan? How much of the future have you changed already just by opening your mouth? Just by being in this home?_

"And then Kendall called me and told me he talked to his mom about everything. He said she was okay with it but he couldn't talk long. So we'll talk more tomorrow at school. But Mama Knight knows we're together now! I officially have a boyfriend!"

"Congratulations, Carlos. I really am happy for you. And jealous because you have a boyfriend and I can't touch James."

"It's so dumb, dude. You guys should just be together."

_And cause more changes with my presence? No thank you._ "We're fine with it."

"No you're not, you just said you're jealous."

Logan didn't want to talk about it anymore; it depressed him. "What about Katie? Did he tell her?"

"No, but he texted me that she overheard him and his mom talking. So she knows. She said I'm a better choice than the girls who were at the games, so she's on my side. I'm already like a brother to her anyway."

"Yeah." His mood rapidly shifting toward a dark cloud, Logan knew it was time to leave Carlos with his happiness before jealousy and fear that he'd messed up caused him to be rude. "I'm happy for you guys. Really. But I'm also tired so I'm gonna take my shower now."

"Okay. We'll talk more in the morning. I'm gonna text Kendall to say goodnight now. Because, you know. He's my _boyfriend_ and all."

Logan remembered how he'd felt the previous evening doing the same thing to James. He'd been floating then, just happy to know James felt the same way. That had to be enough.

"Night, bro!" Carlos called out as Logan was heading toward the bathroom with his pajamas. "Sweet dreams!"

"Yeah, you too."

Time to shake off the melancholy. A hot shower would do the trick, and maybe he'd have a goodnight text waiting for him after. It was the little things.

* * *

He did have a text waiting, and it was from James. It was not, however, the rainbows-and-hearts goodnight message he was hoping for.

"_Kendall's been texting me. He told his mom about Carlos and I don't think it went well. He didn't want to talk about it, just said she and Katie know and he'll tell me more tomorrow. But he said your parents were fine with it."_

Well, that didn't mesh with Carlos' version of how it all went down. Kendall was probably trying to spare Carlos' feelings. _"Yeah, Carlos said Sylvia was happy and Papi's okay with it. Did he tell you about the hockey program at the junior college?"_

"_No way! They have one?"_

"_I guess so. We'll discuss it tomorrow. For now, I just want to sleep. It's been a long day."  
_

"_No kidding. I just checked on Mom, she's sleeping."_

"_Good. You do the same. I love you."_

"_Every time you say that, I smile. Just so you know."_

"_Then I'll say it again. I love you. Goodnight."_

"_I love you, too. So this is what being friends with you is like, huh?" _

Logan sighed. James was right, friends didn't usually profess undying love before bed. But because Logan's time with James was limited, he didn't want to miss out on this while he had it. He wasn't telling James anything that wasn't already known. _"Just making sure you know. Night."_

"_Night." _

The little red heart James sent along with that twisted Logan's heart into a flutter. He smiled every time he heard it, too.

* * *

Rather than return to the bedroom after his shower, Logan slipped downstairs to the basement. Kendall may not want to discuss the situation, but he still needed to talk about it. Logan had learned since coming here that he had a way with words, and if anyone could get Kendall talking, maybe it would be him.

Kendall answered on the second ring, his voice hushed. "Logan?"

"Can you talk?"

"Give me a second."

Logan waited, making himself comfortable in the plush recliner he was coming to love.

"Sorry, I had to get out to the backyard. I'm supposed to be asleep."

"Should I let you go?"

"No, it's fine. I can't sleep anyway. How did it go with Brooke tonight?"

"It went well, actually. We'll discuss it tomorrow. I didn't call to talk about James or Brooke."

Kendall hesitated before asking, "Is it Carlos? Is something wrong?"

"No, Carlos is happier than I've ever seen him. He really loves you, you know."

"Yeah." Warmth threaded through Kendall's voice as he added, "He's so excited about all of this."

"And are you? Is this really what you want, Kendall?"

"Why does everybody keep asking me that?" Anger was seeping in. "Yes, I want to stay with Carlos. Yes, he's worth giving up the scholarships and full rides for."

"I wasn't doubting that."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because James said your mom didn't take the news very well. Carlos said the opposite. I'm wondering if you're having second thoughts and are afraid to tell Carlos."

"No, Logan," Kendall sighed. "There are no second thoughts. This is what I want more than anything. I'll still get my hockey career and I'll have Carlos with me. I don't mind waiting a few years for that."

"Okay, so what's the problem?"

Logan waited while Kendall worked up to it. "It's Mom."

"Is she mad about everything?"

"Not so much about Carlos. Though that really shocked her. She said she never suspected anything like that. Just thought I was too wrapped up in hockey to care about girls."

"She just didn't realize part of the fun of hockey was Carlos."

"Something like that. She wasn't mad that I'm gay or anything. She said she wants me to be happy."

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah, but she doesn't think I'll be happy staying here. She's pissed that I'm willing to walk away from all of it, the offers to get on a university team now. She says that she understands how much I care about Carlos, but I can't let him hold me back. And she thought it was all Carlos' idea. I told her it was mine, that I was the one who didn't want to go and that we figured out a way for us to do the whole thing together. That just pissed her off more. She kept saying I worked so hard to get these opportunities and now I'm throwing them all away. No matter what I said, she just kept getting mad and treating me like I'm a dumb kid who doesn't know what he's doing with his life."

And that would lead her to resentment of Carlos. Logan could already see it. He sighed, wondering if there was a fix to this. "I guess I can understand her attitude to a degree. She just wants the best for you. It had to be a shock."

"I know it was, but she went from saying she wants me to be happy to yelling at me that I'm ruining my life by doing that. I know I'm giving up a lot. But look at what I'm gaining. I'd be miserable without Carlos. Always worried about him, and he'd make new friends and find someone else to love. I can't live with that, Logan. I can't stand the thought of losing him."

"Did you explain it that way to your mom?" Logan asked gently. "With those words?"

"No. She didn't really give me a chance to. She just kept yelling."

Logan wouldn't have guessed Jennifer to be a yeller, but he supposed if she was fearful enough for her son's future, it made sense. "I think you need to. Don't just tell her 'This is what I'm doing and this is how it's going to be.' Is that how you went about it?"

"I don't know, maybe. When she started getting mad, I got defensive and yelled, too. Mom and I both have tempers, so..."

"Maybe try telling her what you just told me. About how miserable you'd be without him, and all the other stuff. Explain to her _why_ you're so determined to stay. _Why _Carlos is worth all of that."

"She won't care."

"If she truly wants you to be happy, she will. That's all she wants, Kendall. She thinks you're giving up future happiness for something that won't be worth it in the long run. Make her understand that she's wrong. But do it..._nicely_. Without all the yelling."

Kendall let out a deep exhale. "I'm not sure I'm capable of that."

"You are. I know you are. Was Katie really okay with everything or did you just tell Carlos that?"

"No, Katie's great. She loves Carlos and said it doesn't bother her that I'm into guys. Apparently she's been dreading me finding a girlfriend _and _moving, so...this works on both levels."

"I'm glad she's on your side."

"Please don't tell Carlos any of this. He already feels bad about keeping me here, and I don't want to make him feel worse about it."

"I won't, but he might pick up on it if your mom starts treating him differently."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Hang on." Kendall was back in a few seconds. "Hey, Logan? Mom wants to talk to me. I gotta go."

"Does she seem mad?"

"Right now, no. She just looks tired. I'm so not in the mood for another fight."

"Don't fight with her, Kendall. If she starts to yell, keep calm. Tell her what you told me."

"Wish me luck. And uh...thanks for calling. You're actually a pretty handy friend to have around, you know?"

"Well, I've got that going for me at least," he chuckled. "I'm heading to bed now but call if you need me."

"Thanks, bud. So um...I'm coming, Mom!"

"Kendall. No yelling."

"She's already getting annoyed. Ugh. But really quick, Carlos is happy?"

"He was literally bouncing on the bed. He's very happy."

"Okay. That's all that matters. If he's happy, I'm happy. And hockey makes us both happy, so if we do that together, we're good. I'm not backing down."

"All right. Good luck."

"Thanks. See you in the morning."

Logan sat in the recliner for a while after the call, just letting his thoughts roam free. So much was changing for all three of his new friends; he'd come at a crucial time in their lives, when major decisions had to be made. And for better or worse, he'd influenced those decisions.

_Roger? If I screwed up, I'm sorry. I just want them all to be happy. You didn't warn me I'd actually care about these people._

That was because it hadn't been part of the plan, other than James. Too late now. He'd set things into motion.

* * *

Logan woke to a text from Kendall stating that they'd both been more calm during the second discussion and while Jennifer still didn't agree that he was making the right choice, she would support his decision and help them make it happen. Apparently she'd just needed time to get used to the idea. And, she'd admitted, she was happy that Kendall would be near rather than across the country.

Crisis averted. Now Logan could go back to focusing on James.

And for the next two months, that's exactly what Logan did. They settled into a daily routine: walking to school with Carlos and Kendall, going to classes and eating lunch with their friends. Once a week the group stopped at Good Eats after school so that Logan could treat whoever had won the weekend study group competition. Otherwise they'd part ways from the other two and spend each afternoon at James' house working on whatever school assignments needed to be done. For the first few weeks they set aside some time to study cancer and the treatments available, and once James had that down Logan introduced him to microbiology so that he could understand exactly what was happening inside the cancer cells; that was a little tougher for James to comprehend, but Logan refused to give up.

Some nights Logan would cook dinner for them and Brooke, others they ordered out. What never changed was their nightly meals as a family, where all three of them enjoyed just spending time together and laughing. Logan and James would clean up after the meal, and then they'd cuddle up to watch a movie or television until it was time for Logan to leave.

Amidst all of that there were doctor appointments and driving lessons (which usually happened early Saturday morning before Brooke was too tired), there was the weekly study session with Carlos and Kendall, and there were Friday night outings when they could talk Brooke into it. As Saturday was a free day, Logan insisted that they do something fun outside the house because they'd learned that too much time alone together without a focus made temptation more difficult to resist; there were a lot of almost-kisses that one or both of them would stop just in time, and a day didn't pass without them catching each other staring as if just wishing they could cross that line. Sometimes Logan thought he was being silly to put them through the torture, that it would be easier to give in; then he'd remember how it felt to kiss James, how much his body craved to know James', and realize his original fear was still a danger: if they allowed themselves to, they'd lose themselves in each other and let the important things fall by the wayside. It was a risk he couldn't afford to take.

So instead, they'd spend Saturdays hanging out with Carlos and Kendall. A day at the mall, a trip to the movies, lunch at the pizza place. One time (after Logan felt comfortable driving and had purchased a used car for himself with money he claimed to be from his parents) they even made a day trip to an amusement park. Logan found it even harder to resist James there, because it felt like a romantic place. It didn't help that Carlos and Kendall kissed every chance they got. But James behaved, most likely because they were in public, and didn't even try to hold Logan's hand. It was_ Logan_ who had to constantly remind himself they were just friends.

Sundays were for the study sessions and grocery shopping, as well as the huge family dinner that Brooke made tradition at her home. Because they no longer had hockey games to bring them together weekly, the Garcias, the Knights, and the Diamonds gathered Sunday at Brooke's invitation for an evening of food and laughter. Jennifer and Sylvia insisted on potluck style so that Brooke wasn't spending too much money on meals, but they did allow her to order in her contribution since she hated to cook (and didn't always have the energy). Having learned more about Brooke's condition, James once voiced a fear that having too many people around her was a bad idea due to her compromised immune system, but Brooke shut him up with the reminder that "I won't be here forever, James. Let me enjoy the time I do have left with the people who love me."

James dropped it after that.

As for school, James' grades improved slowly at first and then faster once he threw himself into the actual learning of the subjects. Katie had been right about him—when he actually tried, he did just fine because a lot of it was memorization. Logan was learning that James didn't forget things, as long as he actually cared to remember them. His need to graduate, along with the desire to make Logan and his mother proud, forced him to care. He still struggled with assignments that weren't straight "read and memorize" exercises (writing essays and the like) because James wasn't exactly an idea person, a fact that became more obvious with time and that Logan continued to avoid thinking about.

Logan had expected James to fight him on the advice that he shift his focus from the acting career for the time being, but James understood that the only way to reach his goal in that area was to graduate. There were no auditions, no photo shoots, no attempts to get his name out there. School and the study of cancer took up most of his attention. He didn't even post on social media all that much, which Logan was grateful for because that way it took longer for James to notice that someone kept hacking into his accounts and deleting them.

It took Logan three nights of research about the different platforms, as well as covert attempts at guessing James' password, before he was successful. Luckily for him, James used the same password for everything. He'd sign into James' accounts on his own phone and then delete them. James would eventually figure it out and recreate them, but he'd lose content and followers each time and get pissed off all over again the next time it happened. His immediate suspicion was Mandy, who had signed into his accounts before when they were dating so that she could post on his pages. James decided she was bitter about the break-up. Logan let him think that and prayed James would never confront her. James' comment about that was "I won't give her the satisfaction. She's just doing it to get my attention, so fuck her. I'll worry about it more after graduation, when I really need this stuff."

In person, Mandy kept her distance from James. His fear that she'd ruin his reputation by calling attention to the fact that he was hanging out with Logan seemed to be unfounded. Logan thought that strange until Carlos shared some gossip he'd heard one day. Over lunch, he informed them that he was glad he never dated Denise.

Always on alert for anything regarding Denise, as Logan still feared she might be from the future, he asked, "Why? Besides the obvious reason that you're happier with Kendall, I mean."

After a glance at James, Carlos said, "I found out that she and Mandy got into a fight. Someone said they saw her and James together at his birthday party, so Mandy thinks that's why James broke up with her. Because he wanted Denise instead and she was using them to get close to James. Mandy blames Denise for everything."

Logan's stomach jolted. Someone had seen them? Had they seen the kisses between him and James as well?

James set down the burrito he was eating, not missing the accusatory tone from Carlos.

"Is it true?" Carlos asked him. "Were you after her?"

"No," James answered honestly. "I broke up with Mandy because I was going to leave. It had nothing to do with Denise."

"What about the rest? Was Denise into you? Did something happen?"

"Carlos, what does it matter? You don't even like Denise anymore. You're with Kendall now."

Kendall knew James well enough to see through his attempt at diversion. He frowned and said, "Something _did _happen. Did you go for Carlos' girl? Would you really do that to him?"

"You guys, she's not Carlos' girl!" James spluttered. "Yeah, he was into her, but..."

"And that should be enough," Kendall stated. "What the hell, James?"

"Okay, hold on," Logan interrupted, seeing that this was going to escalate. "I know the whole story, I was there. James was extremely upset that night, and he'd been drinking. He wasn't in his right mind." A slight exaggeration, as James hadn't been too far gone on alcohol, but as far as they knew he'd been sloshed. "Denise came onto him. She was the one who initiated that. I saw her kiss him and I stopped it, then she took off. That's when James and I started talking, it was after I sent her away. Nothing happened."

Carlos absorbed the explanation. "You didn't want her?" he asked James.

"No, Carlos, I swear! I barely even remember her kissing me. She came to me and offered to talk, she thought I might be upset after the whole Mandy thing. Then she kept wanting to get me drunk and away from the party. I was just...not myself. I'm sorry. Nothing really happened. It was shitty of me to let her kiss me, but I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to forget everything. I'm sorry, bro, I really am. But you're better off without her, because any girl who pretends to like you just to get to your friend...that's bullshit."

Logan let the slight touch of guilt those words brought on settle and then pass; he'd befriended Carlos and Kendall to save humanity. Surely that excused his manipulation? Besides, nothing was pretend anymore. He truly loved these guys like family now.

Carlos nodded. "Okay. It's not so much that I care about Denise. She was nice and all, or at least I thought. But you're right, I'm way happier with Kendall. I was just hurt that you would do that to me."

"I know, and I'm sorry. You know I'd never hurt you intentionally."

"Yeah, I do." Carlos reached around to smack James' arm with affection. "We're cool, bro."

Logan's mind went back to Denise. "Has she tried to talk to you again, James? Since the party?"

"Denise? No. She's probably embarrassed by how she acted that night. I know I am."

Logan asked, "Do you guys know who she hangs out with now? I'm assuming it's not Mandy or Mindy."

They all shrugged. Kendall mentioned that he'd seen her near the band room a few times in passing.

"Oh yeah, she plays the flute I think," Carlos offered. "So probably the band geeks."

But she'd backed off from James, and that was what mattered. James wasn't close to anyone who played in the school band, so that wouldn't get her anywhere with him. Logan breathed a little easier at the growing certainty that Denise was just a normal high school girl who was taken in by James' looks and popularity. Not that Logan could blame her for wanting to be close to James.

He'd been on constant lookout since the Denise fiasco for any behavior from her or anyone else that might be an attempt to get near James, but the truth was that James' world was smaller now than it had been upon Logan's arrival. James spent practically all of his waking moments with Logan (outside of the classes they didn't share, which could still be a danger zone but there had been no hint of anyone befriending him), and together they only interacted with Kendall, Carlos, and their families. He knew better than to relax his vigilance regarding an enemy, but the more time that passed without incident, the more he wondered if Roger had been wrong about the other side sending someone to stop James.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N—Hey! Finally getting a new chapter up. I haven't written anything in a few weeks, things just aren't slowing down over here, but I felt like posting anyway. I hope you enjoy, and thank you in advance for reading. Hope you're all safe and healthy!

* * *

The closer it got to June, the more stress crept into Logan's mind because time was running out. Logan knew that James should be turning in his world-changing assignment as part of his final for biology class, and as the end of May neared, he still didn't feel James was ready. Sure, James had amassed an impressive amount of knowledge over the previous two months, but enough to write the genius paper that Logan had read often enough to be able to quote from it? It was doubtful. The last day of school would be June 9th. As of two weeks prior to that, Mrs. Simmons had not handed out the assignment. She'd hinted at a project in addition to the regular multiple-choice test, something students could do to augment their final grade, but she hadn't given any specifics yet. Logan knew that had to be the assignment he'd been waiting for.

Unless the other side had chosen to alter Mrs. Simmons' actions rather than James'. That was a possibility that hadn't occurred to Logan before, and he wondered how he'd been so stupid to never consider it. If she didn't assign that project, James would have no reason to turn it in. Stop the problem at the root—it made perfect sense. What if instead of going after James, they went after Mrs. Simmons?

This idea hit Logan with full force during one of her lectures. He sat at his desk stunned, frozen in horror, unable to comprehend anything she was saying. What if she never assigned the report? Who could possibly influence her to change that?

The bell rang, signaling the end of the period, and the room became chaos. Students stood up to leave. James started packing away his textbook at the desk next to Logan. Logan stared around the room, wondering if any of these students had the power to change Mrs. Simmons' lesson plans, or even her mind. What would it take? A subtle suggestion for a better project? That could come from anywhere, even her husband. This was impossible.

"Loges? You coming?"

James was now standing with a backpack over his shoulder, watching Logan from under bangs that had grown too long. The future rested on this gorgeous being who had no idea he was going to save the world. Logan looked up with scared eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" Concerned now, James rested one knee on the seat of his desk to lean closer. "Logan?"

"Yeah, I'm...I think I'm just stressed. Finals are approaching fast and..."

"Dude, you're more than ready. You know that, right?"

He did know that. But was James?

_No. Not even close._

"Come on. I'll walk you to history."

A loud laugh from the front of the room caught their attention. Linda was standing next to Mrs. Simmons' desk, her head bent over to continue whatever she was saying that had amused the teacher so much.

_Linda._ Teacher's Pet. The student who spent her lunch periods in here helping with lesson plans and grading tests for Mrs. Simmons. She also possessed an encyclopedia's worth of knowledge, almost as much as Logan from what he could tell. And she had access to not only Mrs. Simmons' lesson plans, but also her mind. Logan couldn't look away from them as his brain worked.

"Hey." James' voice was gentle in its worry. "Seriously. You okay?"

Logan shook himself out of the trance to reassure James. "Yes. I just got...look, you go ahead. I need to talk to Mrs. Simmons about something."

"About what?"

"Our final. I'm going to see if I can get any information from her about it, so we can prepare."

"She already said it'll be about everything we've learned this semester."

"But we don't know about the extra project, which I think you need to ensure your passing grade."

"Logan, I'm fine. I'm up to a C now. Almost a B!"

"Yes, but that final will be a lot to deal with all at once. I don't want to see you fail the class just because it's too much information to retain." James looked as if he was about to argue, so Logan said, "You need to go or you'll be late again. I promise I'm fine. I'll text you when I get to history, okay?"

"You sure? You still don't look good. I mean...you look hot in that shirt, it's my favorite color on you, but—"

"James," Logan chuckled. "Go. I'm fine."

James sighed but gave in. "You'd better text me."

"I will." He mouthed 'I love you' because even though they refrained from physical affection, he never wanted James to forget that he was loved and they still exchanged the words daily.

A goofy grin stretched across James' face. "Stop that, you know what it does to me."

"Bye."

By the time Logan had gathered his belongings, students for the next period were filtering in. Linda had run off to another class. Logan approached Mrs. Simmons at the chalkboard. "Can I ask about the project?"

"Logan! You're still here."

"Yeah, sorry. Um...so I was thinking that James might want to do that report you've been hinting at. For extra credit. I know he's doing better but—"

"Honestly, Logan, he's like a new person. When he first got into my class I saw some of that in him, the passion for the subject. Since you've taken over helping him study, he's blossomed so much."

"I know. I'm really proud of him. But I'm worried the final might overwhelm him and we know what stress can do to test scores. So I'd like for him to turn in that report as well, just in case. Can you give me any hint as to what sort of project it might be?"

"Logan, you know I can't give you an unfair advantage over the other students."

"No, not for me. For James. The more I know, the more I can prepare him."

Mrs. Simmons studied Logan while deciding. He thought she wasn't going to bend, but then she said, "It's not so much an essay or report as it is a...an opening of the mind, so to speak. I want the students to bring me new ideas in the field, ones that have never been posited before. And I want them backed up with scientific data. Mostly I just want to know that the student understands the material they're discussing and is thinking outside the box. I like to think that one day my students might change the world with new ideas. This is a push in that direction."

Logan nodded slowly, his chest opening up so that he could breathe again. "I think that's a wonderful assignment. And it's one James can definitely accomplish. Thank you, Mrs. Simmons."

He was about to walk away when she said, "Logan, I'd love to see what that brain of yours can come up with, too. You don't need the extra credit, but I think you might be one of those who can change the world."

"Maybe someday," he smiled. His goal was the opposite, to keep the world the way it was. It was James who would bring about change. "I'll think about it."

"I'm going to announce the project Monday, so that will give you all two weeks to work on it. It's due on the day of your final, you'll be turning it in before taking the test."

"Perfect. Thank you," he said again. "I look forward to it."

"So do I. It's my favorite assignment that I give every year. I love reading the radical ideas the students come up with. A lot of them aren't feasible, and others are ideas that have already been suggested but not among the public. But if anyone can come up with something new and exciting that hasn't been tried yet and might actually work, I think it's you."

The compliments were making him squirm. He cleared his throat with a nod. "See you tomorrow, Mrs. Simmons."

Logan texted James just before stepping into his next classroom. "I made it to history. I talked to Mrs. Simmons. Everything is fine."

And so far, everything was. It felt like things were right on track.

* * *

His mood much better by the time lunch rolled around, Logan greeted Kendall and Carlos with a wave. The sight of them holding hands always made him smile.

"Mom's getting off work early today to take us," Kendall stated, continuing whatever conversation they'd been having on the way to the library. "And since we're doing so much better in our classes, she said she'd buy us dinner at the hot dog place."

"Sweet!" Carlos grinned. He let go of Kendall so they could take their seats, then high-fived James in greeting. "Sup, _mis amigos_?"

"Same old thing," James shrugged. "Except Logan's stressing over finals now. Like_ he_ has any reason to worry."

"It was five minutes," Logan pointed out. "I'm fine now." Wanting to change the subject, he asked the other two, "Where are you guys going after school?"

Carlos sat up straighter with a smug expression. "We're going to get fitted for tuxes."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "I don't know why we can't just wear jeans. It's for one freaking night."

"Kendall, dressing up is part of the whole experience! Just think how great I'll look! I've already pictured you in yours, and..." Carlos shook his hand as if he'd touched something hot.

James frowned after taking a sip of water. "So you guys are definitely going? To prom?"

Carlos scoffed at the idea they'd do anything else. "Duh. It's like a rite of passage. Wait, did I use that phrase right?"

"You did," Logan chuckled. _Prom._ He'd been hearing about it for weeks but had never considered actually going, probably because as far as he knew James didn't do that. Or..._wouldn't_ do that. There was no sign that James ever did. And the way things stood now, it wasn't as if they could go together. James sure as hell had better not be planning to go with someone else.

"Aren't you guys?" Carlos wondered. "I mean, I know you're not an official couple or anything, but you're still coming with us, right? It wouldn't be fun without you!"

"I think parts of it could be fun without them," Kendall smirked.

"Yeah, the dancing."

"Uh, Carlos, we are not dancing. You know I don't dance."

Carlos groaned. "Come on man, we have to do at least one slow dance together! It's the prom tradition!"

Logan was focused on his sandwich, purposely ignoring the contemplative stare he felt coming from the right. James couldn't be considering this, right?

"You know..." James started.

"No," Logan said immediately.

"I've always dreamed of being prom king. Carlos is right, Loges. It's a rite of passage."

"It's a distraction we don't need."

"It's one night out of our lives. Just like Kendall said."

It would bring them into contact with too many people, way more than any of the birthday parties or hockey games had. Logan shook his head. "We're so close, James. You've done well and we're so close to getting through this. This dance will take up too much of your attention."

"Oh, for what? Renting a tux and doing my hair? Logan, you're being ridiculous. I want to go to prom."

For once, Carlos was quiet and stayed out of the conversation. Kendall did the same.

"James, we can't even go together."

"So? We can still both be there. We can sit together. Dance...sort of together. It would be fun!"

"James..."

"Come on, Logan! I want to see you in a tux. Don't deprive me of that."

A sudden vision of James in a tuxedo flashed through Logan's mind. He'd seen that before, on a much older James attending charity functions. This version of James, though...that lean, muscled body, the long luxurious hair...the thought of it was enough to make Logan's mouth water. "Look, I just don't think it's a good idea. Our biology final is the same day, we need to be focused on that instead."

"We will be! We'll study our asses off and pass that final and then blow off a little steam at the dance!" When Logan gave no indication of caving, James turned to Carlos. "It's not too late to buy tickets, right? We can still go?"

"Yeah, totally. You guys can even come with us today to shop for tuxes if you want! Mama Knight won't mind."

"We have a lot to study today," Logan pointed out.

"We have a lot to study _every _day," James huffed. "Please, I've done everything you asked and I'm slaving over books and it's working. I'm doing so much better. Don't I deserve this? One night to just have a good time?"

He did, but Logan knew it was a bad idea. For so many reasons. "James, I'm sorry. We can't afford to risk losing focus. Not when we're so close."

James nodded as if hearing what Logan was saying and debating it. "Well, here's the thing, Professor. It's my life. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but you don't control me. I want to go to prom. So...I'm going. Obviously I'd prefer you were there, but if you don't want to go, that's fine. I'll go by myself."

The thought of James being alone in a room with so many possible threats made Logan's blood run cold. "James, please...you don't...you can't. You _can't_."

"I can. And I will. Guys? Count me in after school today. Logan and I can take a day off from each other."

With that, James dismissed Logan completely and faced the table to eat his lunch. After two months of such closeness with James, it felt like having his heart ripped out to be ignored. Sadness like he hadn't experienced in a long time overwhelmed Logan. He stood up to gather his belongings, fighting to keep the tears at bay at least until he could get away from James.

"Where are you going?" Kendall asked in concern.

Logan didn't answer. He zipped up his backpack and stormed out of the library, fully expecting Kendall to chase after him and wishing for once that his friend wasn't so caring.

Kendall didn't follow, though. It could be that James told him to give Logan the time alone to think, or perhaps Carlos had been the one to stop him. Maybe Kendall himself had realized that Logan needed solitude. For whatever reason, Logan entered the nearest bathroom by himself and then hid in a stall to release the hurt James' dismissal had inflicted upon him.

He'd worry about the danger of it all later.

* * *

Nobody met Logan at his locker after school that day. There was one text from Kendall during their last period, asking if he was sure he didn't want to come. Logan said he was, and that was that. He considered going to Brooke's as usual, but showing up without James would bring questions he didn't want to answer. Instead, he checked in with her to make sure she was okay and then explained that James was out with Carlos and Kendall for the afternoon. When she didn't press him for more information, Logan assumed James had already explained the trip to the mall.

He spent the afternoon alone at home, trying to focus on homework and not what it would mean if James went to the dance. There would definitely be some sort of photo taken there, right? Nothing had turned up in the future, and Logan reminded himself that even if there was, the assignment would already be turned in. James' fate would be sealed—as long as nothing happened along the way to change Mrs. Simmons' actions, of course.

_Why are you so worried about this? It'll be done, the assignment finished and delivered. It will be too late for anyone hoping to stop him. Sure, they could hurt him _(and that thought was scary enough)_, but his theories will already be passed on. If he doesn't put them into action, someone else will._

But that wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Until the moment James turned in that paper, everything was guesswork. There was no road map, no guide to follow, and Logan was working on pure instinct. Once that step was taken, though, there was a blueprint. At that point Logan should be able to relax and let nature take its course. Everything should happen just as it was supposed to, as it had in the biographies and documentaries written about James.

And in those biographies, there was no mention at all of a prom. No pictures. His senior portrait, sure. Someone had even dug up a picture taken on his graduation day, snapped by Brooke most likely, of James accepting his diploma on stage. That photo was flashed up in every documentary when relating that James had graduated from Denfield High. Everything would happen fast once that assignment reached the right people, but it would happen _according to a plan that Logan already knew. _

What wouldn't happen? Prom.

And _that's_ why it scared Logan. Because it didn't fit in with the timeline. If James attended prom, that would mean that the timeline had been altered, and even the slightest change could have disastrous results.

Logan had to stop James from going to that prom.

The problem with that was that James currently wasn't speaking to him. Logan had texted James upon arriving at home, just to let James know where he was and to say "Tell me when you're home and I can come over and cook dinner."

As of five o'clock, Logan had still not received an answer. Were they back to this _again_?

_I don't have time for this. We're down to a few weeks, there is NO TIME FOR THIS! _

At seven, Brooke texted him. _"Why aren't you here for dinner?"_

Logan was holed up in the bedroom. There had been no word from Carlos or Kendall either, so he assumed they were still out. _"I told James to text me when he was home so I could come over and cook."_

"_James has been home for over an hour. I ordered out. I assumed you were on the way but dinner's here now and you're not."_

James was home? And hadn't told him? Logan sighed in dismay. They_ were_ back to this. _"Did you ask James?"_

"_Just now. He said you're not coming and he's not hungry. What's going on, Logan? Are you two fighting again?"_

Apparently they were. _"Can you please tell him to call me after dinner? He won't answer my texts."_

A minute later she replied. _"Well, he just told me to mind my own business and slammed the bedroom door in my face. Logan, fix this. I want my boys back together."_

Yeah, she wasn't the only one. _"I'm going to give him tonight to cool off. Let me know if you need anything, but otherwise I'll see you tomorrow. I hope."_

"_You WILL."_

Carlos didn't show up until almost nine o'clock, having spent the evening at Kendall's studying after their shopping trip. He gushed about the tuxes (mostly about how good Kendall looked in his) before giving Logan peace and disappearing into the shower. Two minutes into that, Logan was shaken from a doze by the buzzing of his phone.

_Please let it be James, please let it be James._

The sight of the name he'd been praying for made his stomach flip over. James was going to yell at him, which wouldn't be fun, but was definitely better than the silent treatment. Logan answered the call warily. "Hey."

"I'm sorry."

The tone wasn't at all what Logan had been expecting. It was scared, desperate, pleading. Logan sat up in bed. "What? James, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry. I just...I really wanted to go and you wouldn't even consider it and I've been trying to get up the courage to ask you for weeks but I knew what you'd say, I knew you'd be like that and I wanted us to go _so bad_ but you never even—"

"Whoa, hold on. Slow down. Take a breath." Logan waited while James did that, then said, "Start over. You're upset because you knew I'd say no?"

"Well...yeah. Every time I thought about asking, I'd imagine you being all..._Logan_. And I'd chicken out. So when the guys brought it up today it was the perfect time but you did exactly what I thought you'd do, you wouldn't even try to see things my way, and it hurt. But I'm sorry I was rude to you, and I need you, and please don't hate me. Please."

"Hey, I don't hate you and I'm not going anywhere. How many times do I have to tell you that before you believe it?"

A sniffle reached Logan's ear through the phone. "I don't know why I'm such a dick to you when you care so much about me. All I do is push you away."

"No, James, you haven't done that since March. April? It doesn't matter. For the past two months you've been the best friend I could ask for."

"And then I ruin it because you won't go to prom with me."

Logan sighed. "I'm sorry. I just don't think we should."

"Because of studying. Because of our finals."

"Right."

"And that's exactly what I knew you'd say." James didn't sound angry about it anymore so much as frustrated. "But Logan, what is one night? Just one night of our lives?"

How to convince James without telling him the truth? "What would be the point? We can't dance together. You wouldn't want to be seen doing that with a guy."

"I know, but...who says we have to dance? We can hang out together anyway, get our pictures taken...you could look super hot in a tux...then after we could go with Kendall and Carlos to the lake."

"The lake?" Logan's brows drew together. "What lake?"

"The _lake_, Logan. It's where everyone goes after prom."

"Is that the name of the place or is it an actual lake?"

"Oh my god, I forget that you're a nerd and don't know about this stuff. It's the actual lake outside of town; it's tradition to go there after prom."

"And do what? Surely it's not open that late. You guys don't break in, do you? That sounds illegal."

"Logan, it's a_ lake_. It doesn't close. We don't go there to swim, okay?"

"Well, what else would people do at a lake at midnight? If you're not there to swim, what..." It sank in suddenly, Logan's body simultaneously going cold and heating up. "Oh."

"Took you long enough to figure out, Professor. Nobody actually gets out of their cars at the lake."

Logan swallowed hard. "We can't...we agreed that..."

"Our last two finals happen that day. Biology and...I think it's math for me. Or P.E.? The point is, we'll be done with school then. All those finals, then the prom, then we're done until graduation. There's nothing left to focus on, Logan. No more tests to study for. We can finally just...relax and...you know. Be together." When Logan said nothing, James added, "You promised. Make it through school, and then we can be together."

Logan couldn't breathe. Again, he was being offered his deepest wish on silver platter, and he had to turn it down. It just wasn't _fair_! "James...there's still the fact that I'm a minor. No sex until I turn eighteen. That's not until September."

"I knew you'd throw that in my face," James groaned. "But look, nobody's gonna tell. Kendall and Carlos can keep a secret."

"No, James, it's not about that, it's..."

"It's what, Logan? What? I've done everything you asked, why can't you give me this one thing we both want so bad? Unless..."

He trailed off and Logan's heart sank. "No, that's not it."

"Are you sure? Have your feelings changed? If you don't want me anymore, I guess—"

"James, no, I swear. There's no one I want more. That's never going to change."

"Then what? What are you so afraid of?"

_Changing the timeline. Ruining your life. Sending humanity to its doom. _ Why was all of this so complicated? "It just doesn't feel right. I don't know how else to explain it. Please, James. Try to understand."

"I can't when you won't explain it."

"I know." Logan closed his eyes on a sigh. "I wish I could."

After a stretched-out silence, James said, "Okay. I respect your wishes. You don't want to go, I won't make you."

Logan huffed out in relief. "Thank you."

"But I'm going. I got a tux today, and I look damn good in it, and the world isn't going to miss out on that. I'm just sorry you will."

Logan had two weeks to figure out how to sabotage this for James. He wasn't looking forward to it. "Me, too," he said honestly. "I'm sure it would be a beautiful sight."

"Yep. So um...you forgive me? For being a dick today?"

"Of course."

"I really am sorry. I know I hurt you. But you hurt me first, and...I guess that's just what I do when someone hurts me. I want to hurt them back."

"Not the most mature way of dealing with pain," Logan pointed out.

"Nope."

"But understandable. I love you, James. I'd never hurt you intentionally, and not without good reason."

"I know. See you in the morning?"

"Yeah."

"Can we have your soup for dinner tomorrow night? I think we still have that loaf of Italian bread, it should still be good."

James insisted on the soup once a week, and it made Logan proud. It also gave him warm fuzzies, because he sensed that it was a symbol of Logan's love in James' mind. James needed the reassurance after their argument. "That sounds great. I think your mom's getting tired of it, though."

"She can deal with it. If she hates it that much, we'll order her something."

"Okay. See you tomorrow, James."

"Night, Logan. I love you."

It never failed to make him smile. James wasn't one to say it often, but when he did it carried so much feeling that Logan's chest warmed. "Night."


	32. Chapter 32

A/N—Happy weekend! Things are finally looking up and slowing down, so I've been able to focus more on writing. I only have one more scene left to write in this story. Hard to believe. I should have it finished by tomorrow! In the meantime, here's the next chapter, which answers a lot of questions. The chapter after this will pick up right where this one left off. I hope you like it! :D Thanks so much for reading.

* * *

The next two weeks were grueling in more ways than one. They studied more than ever, Logan feeling the press of time and insisting that they spend two hours every night on microbiology and radiation. James didn't understand why Logan was focusing so much on that when it was a small part of the final, but when Logan said, "Trust me," James did. He only complained once that Logan ceased their nightly television-watching because he knew that Logan was trying to help him graduate.

Then there was the prom, which James showed every sign of still wanting to go to. Logan decided that the sabotage would have to wait until the day of; maybe he could pretend to be sick that night and James would be worried enough to skip it. Yeah, that might work. Or maybe the tux could mysteriously disappear. Would that keep James home? Possibly. It was an idea, and one of many that Logan put on his mental list.

On top of all of that, Logan was constantly working on a way to open James' mind and steer it toward the radiation theory. His hints didn't seem to be working. Mrs. Simmons finally announced the extra credit assignment in class, to Logan's excitement. This was it, what he'd been working toward from the start. James was at first resistant to it, stating again that he didn't need the boost to his grade, but when Logan reminded him he might get nervous and bomb the final, he backed down and admitted it couldn't hurt. All that was left now was to set the future in motion by guiding James toward his radical theory on radiation and cell manipulation. They were so close, Logan could feel it.

Three days before the final, James informed Logan that he'd come up with his idea for the assignment. Logan was overjoyed. He prompted James to continue, but instead James smirked and said, "It's a surprise."

"What?" They were seated at the dining room table in the Diamond home, books spread out before them and Brooke humming while she made herself a cup of tea in the kitchen. Today was one of her good days, though those were coming less and less.

"It's a surprise," James repeated, proud. "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I came up with something that I don't think anyone ever has. It could definitely change the world."

His smugness was adorable, but Logan couldn't afford to leave this to fate. "James, just tell me. I can help you with it, we can write it up together."

"Nope. This one's all me. I mean, I might need your help with the spelling and grammar and stuff, but we can worry about that Thursday night when I finalize it."

Did Logan trust James? He still didn't feel that James knew enough to come up with the complex theory, but then again he'd come up with it once before, right? Without Logan's help. This had to be it, it _had_ to be. "Can you at least tell me what it's about?"

"I could, but I don't want to. I'm gonna make you proud, Logan. I'm gonna write a report so good you won't believe I came up with it."

Before coming here, Logan would've had no trouble believing it. Now at the crucial moment, he was doubting James? What was wrong with him? "Okay. I'm excited to see what you put together. Wow me, James."

"I will." James grinned, then turned that expression on his mother when she stepped out of the kitchen.

"What's that goofy smile for? Did Logan just kiss you?"

"Mom," James whined in exasperation. "We haven't kissed in months! Why do you keep pushing that?"

Brooke shrugged, careful with her hot mug. "A mother can dream, can't she?"

Time to get the conversation away from kissing. "James has come up with an extra credit assignment for biology that's going to wow me."

"Oh?" She halted on the way to the living room.

"Yep," James smiled. "It's gonna wow_ everybody_."

"What's it about?"

"It's a secret," James winked. "Something that nobody ever realized before."

Logan supposed that was true, it _would_ be a groundbreaking theory. "He won't tell me, either."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Well, if it can do anything about how tired I am all the time, let me know."

"I think it actually could, Mom."

"Don't keep me in suspense, James."

"Nope. You guys will just have to read my report Thursday night when it's done. Logan? I'm thinking tacos for dinner."

"When aren't you?" Logan teased. James' comments to Brooke had bolstered his confidence that James was on the right track. "I can take a hint. Brooke? You up to tacos tonight?"

"I think I can stomach one. It's the little joys in life, you know?"

Glancing at James, whose eyes seemed brighter in the green sweatshirt he was currently wearing, Logan nodded. He _did _know.

* * *

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

James' excited face was adorable—and contagious. With a laugh because Logan's own excitement that the moment was finally here was about to bubble over, Logan rolled his eyes. "Yes, James, just tell me. Tell me what this mind-shattering theory of yours is!" As if Logan didn't already know. His smile widened.

From the dining room chair next to Logan's, James cleared his throat and reached into his binder. "Okay, so I already typed it up and stuff, but you'll need to go through it for mistakes and—"

"James, the suspense is killing me! Just show me!"

James knew that Logan was about to explode from curiosity. It was such a rare thing for him to see Logan on the edge of his seat that he drew it out a little longer. "Maybe I should have Mom come in here. She was excited about this, too. Logan, could you go upstairs and—"

"James Diamond, if you don't pass me that paper right now I will strangle you." "Paper" was a misnomer, as it was actually a thin packet stapled together. Logan's mouth watered at the sight of it, of the fact that he was about to hold it. Not even the final product either, but a rough draft. He was going to be the very first person to see James' work, the theory that kids everywhere would one day learn in middle school. He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest. "Hand it over." When James continued to look smug and hold it out of reach, Logan lunged for it.

James laughed as it was ripped from his grasp, and then Logan's eyes skimmed the essay hungrily. The light in them died slowly, taking James' heart along with it. "I know it needs work, but—"

"James. James, what is this?" Logan's hands were numb. The lack of feeling spread up his arms and into his chest, where it caused him to struggle for air. Whatever this was, it_ wasn't_ what it was supposed to be.

"Look, I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. I even did research. Your mood really does improve with exercise. It's a fact. So imagine if they started making that a regimen for chronically depressed people. It could make a difference! I get up every morning before school just to work out, when I don't I'm not..."

James' voice was like the sound of flies buzzing in Logan's brain. He continued to speak, but Logan tuned it out. His hands were shaking now. What he held in them was an assignment, it was single-spaced and presented a hypothesis while providing facts to back it up. James had definitely done research, there was no doubt of that. He'd even listed programs where it could be implemented. He'd done a damn good job on the assignment, if Logan was honest.

But Logan couldn't be honest in this moment because it wasn't the right assignment. It wasn't even close. James had been secretive over the previous few days, not wanting Logan to see what he was working on until it was finished. Logan had respected that and trusted that everything would fall into place the way it was supposed to. He now realized the grave mistake he'd made.

The assignment was due tomorrow. In twelve hours. How in the world was he supposed to...

"We can fix this."

James stopped talking. He seemed confused at first, then relieved. "Exactly, I just need you to correct the spelling and maybe the—"

"No. It's wrong. But it's not too late, we can still fix this."

James frowned. "Wrong? No, the theory is right. I know it."

"The..." Logan shook his head to clear away the nonsense coming out of James' mouth. "This isn't your project. We'll rework it. Tonight. I was thinking you could do something with radiation and cells, perhaps something that might work against cancer. We've been reading about—"

"Logan, what the fuck are you talking about? This is my report. This is what I'm writing about."

"No, it's not." Seeing that James was starting to get defensive, he amended that. "I mean, it doesn't have to be. You could do something more important, something—"

"This_ is_ important. I know you don't get it because you're a nerd and you don't take exercise seriously, but it really does have an impact on mental health. I'm telling you, if—"

"James, just stop talking. You need to listen to me because I know what's best for you. This isn't good enough, you need a project that's—"

James shoved his chair back and stood up, silencing Logan—who realized his error and opened his mouth again to make his point in a way that wasn't so harsh. James didn't let him. "So I'm not good enough. I've worked my ass off for two months, studied everything you threw at me, and it's still not good enough."

Logan's eyes fell shut. "That's not how I meant it. It's a great paper."

"Great, but apparently not _good enough_. Because Professor Mitchell over here has these high standards of what everyone should be capable of."

"I'm sorry. That came out wrong. It's good, it's just not..."

"Not what_ you_ would write, maybe? Not worthy of a genius who expects everyone around him to be just as smart?"

Logan blinked at the snide tone. "No, James, you're taking this wrong. I know you don't get it, but you have to trust me on this. You're capable of so much more than you realize. If you'd just open your mind and think outside the box for a second, you'd—"

"I did, Logan! I worked hard to come up with something that hasn't been done before! I—"

"It has," Logan sighed. "I guarantee it."

James shook his head. "No. You're wrong, I researched the effects of exercise on mental health and I didn't see anything about—what are you doing?"

Logan had pulled out his phone to do a search. The third link down showed an article describing exactly what James' paper did. He clicked on it and passed the phone to James.

James' gaze skimmed the screen and his face fell. "Well...my paper also talks about working it into treatment at—stop doing that!"

Logan had grabbed the phone and changed the search parameters. He easily found a study that was done the year before in a mental institution. When James looked at that one, his breath hitched and his eyes watered.

"I'm sorry," Logan said gently. "It's been done. I could've told you that. You should've asked me ahead of time, or let me help you."

James' head moved from side to side. "The whole point was to do this myself. To make you proud."

"I _am_ proud."

"No you're not, you're disappointed that it isn't better than it is! That it isn't on your level!" Tears spilled over. "Guess what, Logan? I'm not you!"

"James, hold on, don't—"

"No! From the day we started working together, you've tried to make me into something I'm not! When you look at me, it's like you see someone who doesn't exist. I'm not what you think I am, okay?"

"Yes, you are." Logan was trying to remain calm, but all he could think about was the time they were wasting arguing when they should be working on the new project.

"I'm not, Logan! You keep saying I have so much potential, that I'm going to do these great things and be someone special, but it's a lie! This is all I am! I'm just normal, and that's all I'm ever gonna be! I tried, I tried my hardest to impress you, to live up to what you want me to be, and I can't. I can't! Stop trying to turn me into something I'm not!"

Logan was speechless. How long had James been feeling this way?

"I wanted to be what you see in me," James continued. "I wanted to be smart and worthy of someone like you. Instead I'm a disappointment."

"You are not, James."

"I am! I saw your face! I was so excited to show you, and you couldn't even fake being proud. All you could say is 'It's not good enough.' Well fuck you, it's the best I can do! If I'm not good enough, maybe you should find somebody else."

This wasn't happening. It wasn't. They were here, at the finish line, and it was all falling apart. This was wrong, something had gone terribly wrong and there was no time to fix it. Or...was there?

Logan took a deep breath. He rose from his chair and stepped closer to wipe James' tears away with his thumbs. "I don't want somebody else. I want you."

"You want someone I can't be."

"No. You _can _be that person, you just aren't letting yourself. I promise, he's in there. You just have to trust me and let me—"

"Wow. You just admitted it. Who I am now isn't what you want."

"James, that's not what I said."

James shoved Logan away. "That's exactly what you said! If I just change for you, everything will be fine, right?"

They didn't have time for this. "You're being stubborn. You need to listen to me. I know things that you can't understand, and if—"

"Because you're smarter. I get it, Logan."

Frustration had Logan wanting to scream. "No, James, stop taking this as a personal attack! This isn't about us, it's about something so much bigger than you can imagine!"

"Because I'm dumb. Yep, just keeping digging that hole deeper."

"James, stop it! You're not listening! You have to write a new report! I'll help you, together we can—"

"Fuck that. I'm done." James picked up the paper that Logan had set down and ripped it in half before throwing the pieces into Logan's face. "Write it yourself, Professor."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Oh, I thought you'd like it, since you're so smart and determined to teach me new things."

"You're mocking it, making a joke of everything I worked for."

"Yeah well, go make those dreams come true. Go be valedictorian, go to some fancy university, go be the smartest guy who ever lived. But do it without me, because I'm fucking done being your experiment. What was this whole thing, just a study to see if you can make a dumb guy smart? You failed, Logan."

Logan was stunned. More than anything else, it was James' ability to make everything about himself that shocked Logan. True, he couldn't see the bigger picture, but he wasn't even willing to listen. He'd convinced himself that he was the victim and Logan had been playing him from the start. "You're unbelievable."

"No, I think that's you. Because I believed in you like an idiot. I believed you loved me. For _me_."

"James, I need you to take a deep breath and clear your head. You're not thinking straight."

"Thinking's not my strong suit. Haven't you learned that yet? If you're looking for someone to mold into your image, you won't find it here. There's the door."

"You're overreacting. This isn't about us. If you would just—"

"You already said that, and I didn't believe it then." James was surprisingly calm for someone on the verge of walking away from the one person he'd thought believed in him. "I'm serious, Logan. Go. We're done."

James spun on his heel and headed toward the swinging door into the kitchen. Logan shook his head. "You think I would walk away? I was willing to chase you across the country. You have a destiny, James."

"We all do, Logan. Turns out ours aren't together."

The door closed behind James. Logan stood in the dining room, frozen, wondering what his next step could be. James hadn't just shut him out, he'd turned the part of himself that loved Logan to stone. Before, he would yell. Before, he would want to punch Logan. This time he'd calmly walked away as if Logan meant nothing to him.

Logan was stumped. He had no idea how to reach a James who felt nothing for him.

_Roger, I'm screwed. I messed up. I did what you told me not to do, I got too involved, and now he doesn't even care enough to hate me. I've lost him. He's not going to write that assignment. It's over. I failed._

Devastation started to sink in. Not wanting James to witness it, Logan packed up his belongings and fled.

* * *

He ran all the way to the corner before hyperventilation forced him to stop and take deep breaths. This couldn't be over, there had to be a way to fix it. There just _had_ to!

After a minute he started walking, both hands gripping the straps of his backpack to steady himself.

_What would Roger do? What would Roger say? He'd tell me to not give up, sure, but what advice would he give me to get that assignment written and turned in by morning? It took me a week to get through James' armor last time, there's no way I can do it overnight! He thinks I don't love him, how do I fix this?_

Either Logan was so wrapped up in his own panic or the person who suddenly appeared next to him was just that quiet. She kept pace with him and leaned closer to say, "Rough night?"

Logan nearly jumped out of his skin, heart skittering wildly around his rib cage. Instinct had him moving across the sidewalk fast until he was standing on someone's lawn and staring at her with wide eyes. "You!"

"Yep. Me." It was the girl he'd seen at James' party (and hadn't she been at Jenny's, too?), the one who'd asked if he wanted to dance. _ Your loss_, she'd said both times. Now she came to a halt with hands in the pockets of black jeans that matched the denim jacket she wore over a red t-shirt. Her dark hair hung halfway down her back and her face was devoid of make-up from what Logan could tell in the glow of a nearby streetlight. She offered him a smug smile and asked, "_Now_ would you like to dance with me?"

Was he hallucinating? Maybe she wasn't real. This girl had appeared twice seemingly out of nowhere and done it again tonight. "Where did you come from? I didn't even hear you."

"I'm quiet," she smiled. "It's a talent. Comes in handy when I'm trying to be sneaky."

"Why would you need to be..." Cold fear worked its way up from Logan's toes to his brain as the dots connected. He took another step back. "Are you...why are you here? Why do you keep trying to talk to me?" A part of Logan was afraid he knew the answer to that.

"We're alike, you and me," she winked. "You feel like you don't really fit in, right? Maybe like you're...out of place?" After a pause she added, "Or...out of _time_?"

Logan's tongue came out to wet his lips. The rest of him seemed to be paralyzed as he stared across the sidewalk at what he now knew was his worst enemy. "James..." he whispered. Brooke had gone to dinner at Jennifer's, meaning that James was alone in the house now. Unprotected. Unsafe. "James!" He started to run but didn't get far. The girl was stronger than she looked and when she reached out a hand to grip his bicep in passing, it was enough to keep him from moving forward. "Let me go! I have to—"

"He's fine." Her hand didn't let up. Logan continued to struggle so that she placed a heavy leather boot on his foot to help her cause. "Relax."

"Ow! That hurts!" But of course it hurt. It wasn't like she was here to be nice, was it? How had he been so stupid to focus on the too-obvious choices for an enemy when the real one had been in his face all along?

"Then stop trying to run. And be quiet, you'll call attention to us."

"Good, maybe they'll call the cops and stop you! You're a murderer!"

One hand still held his arm tight enough to leave bruises, a foot pressed down on his, and now a second hand came up to muffle his mouth. "Will you shut up?!"

Logan tipped his head back to speak. "No, because you're going to hurt him. You're going to kill him! The most beautiful man to ever live, and you're going to snuff out that bright light."

The girl's hands dropped away, but her foot stayed in place. With a disgusted look, she said, "You know, this drama streak is embarrassing."

Fear was giving way to despair. He'd failed and now they'd double the blow by hurting the man he loved. Logan's shoulders dropped, voice trembling when he spoke again. "Look, just...I messed up, okay? You won. He's not doing the assignment. There's no way to convince him and get it written before morning, so you get your way. Just...please. Don't hurt him. I know there's not a lot of time left before everyone dies, but please give him that. Let him live as long as he can, let him be with his mom until the end. Don't rob him of that time, he deserves it. They all do."

"Oh my god, stop this torture. This isn't what I signed up for." She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to throw up."

"I don't care what you do as long as you don't hurt him. I failed but don't let him suffer for it. Please."

She shook her head and looked up at the sky. "Give me strength. I thought you were smart." She let out a long breath. "You still haven't figured it out yet, have you?" Logan's nonplussed expression was her answer. She lifted her boot off of him and spun to face the other direction, which was Logan's original path. "Walk with me."

"What?"

"Walk with me." More commanding this time. "Let's walk and talk."

"James' house is the other way."

"Thanks for that information. If I hadn't already been there and_ was_ in fact planning to hurt him, it might come in handy." She stopped and looked back over her shoulder. "Are you coming?"

Logan hesitated. "Do you swear to me that James isn't in any danger?"

"Not that I'm aware of. This isn't about him."

His gaze narrowed at her. "Of course it is. He was my mission."

The girl nodded, black tresses bouncing against the jacket. "That's correct. But _you_ are mine."

Logan blinked rapidly. "I'm...what? _I'm_ your mission?"

"Logan, come on. Time is money." She suddenly giggled. "I've always wanted to say that. One of those weird sayings from this era that I still don't understand, but it's funny, right? I mean, how can _time_ be _money_?"

"I suppose wasting time can cost money in the proper circumstances. A job, for example."

She grinned. "_There's_ that nerd I know and love. Seriously, though, walk with me. We're running out of time."

Wondering if the girl might be unbalanced (and it wouldn't surprise Logan, considering who she worked for), he slowly started to move. He still didn't trust her, but the more they walked, the further they were from James—ergo, the safer he was. She strode on when he arrived at her side, and Logan followed. "What did you mean when you said I'm your mission? I thought you were the bad guy."

"I was. I was sent here to stop you. Not your precious James, which I can't believe you didn't figure out on your own by now. All this time I just assumed you did. Imagine, such a genius not seeing what's right in front of his face."

"Will you just stop talking in riddles and tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Fine, fine. James Diamond never wrote that assignment."

"I'm aware of that. He just kicked me out of his house and without me, it won't get done."

"You are absolutely correct. Because guess what, Mitchell? _You _wrote it."

Logan stopped walking. "What?"

"It was never him. It's always been you, working in the shadows. You're going to lock yourself in that basement tonight and type the whole thing up, using your memory cubes to quote it word for word. And tomorrow morning you're going to turn it in to Mrs. Simmons with his name on it. That's what really happened, Logan. You grew up believing your hero was a genius who invented the theory that saved the world. But it was you." She finally stopped walking and turned back. "It's always been you."

"No." Logan shook his head. His brain was about to explode. "No, that's not possible. Roger wouldn't lie to me like that, he wouldn't have sent me here to save James if—"

"That's debatable," she shrugged. "I think Roger would do whatever it takes to save humanity. But he actually didn't know the truth then. He believed what you did, what the entire world did—that James Diamond wrote that assignment."

Logan was starting to hyperventilate again. "How could I possibly have written that assignment? I wasn't even born yet!"

"You're here now, aren't you? Neither of us will be born for almost two hundred years but here we are on Beech Lane in the year 2012. I'm sure you've figured out that the things you do here have consequences. They become part of the fabric of history. And that's what you did."

"But that doesn't even make sense! How could I write a theory that isn't even published yet?"

"Because you have the memory cubes. For all I know, you have the entire report memorized. You already knew it when you came back." Logan remained silent, mind spinning. "It's called the bootstrap paradox. You know things because they already happened. You grew up studying that theory like some people study the Bible. It_ was_ your Bible. But it only existed because you came back here and wrote it yourself. If you hadn't, you wouldn't have had it to study as a child. But because you did come back, it was there. It was published. It existed."

Logan's legs went out from under him. He sat down hard on a mowed lawn. The girl didn't seem alarmed; she joined him, sitting cross-legged a few inches away while Logan's brain whizzed through the implications of this revelation at lightning speed.

"I wrote it," he whispered.

"Yep."

"That's how I fixed it. I knew James wasn't going to, so I went home and typed it up and turned it in as his assignment. Because if I didn't, everyone was going to die."

"Exactly."

Logan swallowed hard. "And now you're here to kill me. You're going to make sure I don't write it, and then somehow destroy the memory cubes."

She nodded. "That was my mission."

Rather than say anything else, she let Logan sit in silence and accept what she knew was more than he could handle. It took some time for him to work through everything, but when he did he said, "There's something I don't understand, that makes no sense."

"What's that?"

"Where was I? If I wrote all of that and James didn't know the information himself...where was I? I've studied his life, everything there is to know about him from graduation on...there's no way he could live the rest of his life the way he did. This wasn't the only theory he posited, there were so many more groundbreaking ideas he came up with! He couldn't do that on his own! Unless...unless he did it in my memory. My death would do that. It would change him, change his focus and...oh. Oh, James. You devoted the rest of your life to being the man I wanted you to be, didn't you? You wanted to make me proud even if I couldn't be here to see it!"

Logan broke down into sobs, his heart shattering. _ That_ was why James didn't continue his career as an actor. It all made sense now.

"Hey, Romeo, get a grip. I know you'd love to believe in that sappy storyline, but that's not even close to how it happened."

He wiped at his eyes. "What? But it makes sense."

"Yeah, so does world peace. But you don't see that happening, do you? Not in the thousands of years humans have been around. Life doesn't always make sense."

Logan sniffed before rubbing his sleeve across his eyes. "But nothing else does, either. There's no way I stayed with him. I would've known. There would've been some record of me in his life."

"Not if you went around deleting everything you could get your hands on. You had a lot of years to do it, too. It was actually _you_ that made him so hard to find before graduation, so...mission accomplished. And before you ask, that's why there's no record of you, either. No pictures, no files, not even the birth certificate your team forged for you. You made sure to get rid of everything before you died. Because of course you knew when that would be."

"How would I know that? I don't even know it now."

"You will. One of your best friends is going to tell you. Eventually."

Now Logan was even more confused. "Kendall? Carlos? How would they know that?"

"Not them, dummy. Someone from the future, who actually went back in time to find out how it all went down. But she was smart and went back to a later date, when it was all said and done. She got the full story from you. That's how she knows everything that's going to happen, because in the future you'll tell her."

"I won't. I'd never tell anyone. It's too dangerous."

"Not if that person is on your side and wants to help you save the world."

It was hard to keep up. "Who? When will I meet her?"

The girl held out her hand. "Tonight. Hi, I'm Lucy. You don't know it yet, but we're going to be great friends."

Logan stared at her in shock. "I thought you were the enemy. You _said _you were the enemy."

"I _was _the enemy. But even I'm not crazy enough to kill off the entire population. When I found out about the mission to stop James, I volunteered. Not because I actually wanted to succeed, but because I knew if someone else took the job, they would. So I pretended to go along with what my team wanted. I told them it would be smarter to find him later in life, to get close to him and learn things the history books didn't tell us. What I discovered is you. So I went forward again to tell my team I knew how it had happened and that I'd come back here to stop it. Then I ran to _your_ team and explained the truth, and then offered to come back and make sure you didn't screw it up."

"Wow. So Roger sent me here to make sure James succeeded, and then sent _you _to make sure _I_ did."

"You got it."

"So...you're not here to kill me?"

"Nope. I'm here to get you home so you can write up that report. _And_ make nice with James."

Though he was relieved by this unexpected turn of events, the reminder that James had broken up with him left him hollow. "He doesn't want anything to do with me."

"That's why I'm here, buddy. To tell you how to get him back."

Logan's breath caught. "You know?"

"Yep. You told me how you did it. And it worked."

"It did? What did I say? What did I do? Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

With a wink, Lucy asked, "Want to dance?"


	33. Chapter 33

A/N—Happy weekend! I'm back with another chapter. This one is a continuation of the last and wraps up the discussion between Logan and Lucy. I thank you for reading and hope this finds you safe and well. :)

* * *

Logan needed answers. Lucy could give them to him, but a random neighbor's front yard wasn't the place for that. He considered trying to sneak her into the Garcia house and down to the basement only to discard that idea when he remembered that Kendall and Katie were currently battling Carlos on the gaming console in order to give Jennifer, Sylvia, and Brooke time to have dinner together without interruption. There was nowhere to go and talk.

As if reading his mind, Lucy offered, "There's a small park two blocks from here. We should head over there for a while."

Logan bit his lip. "And you know this because it already happened, right? Because that's where I told you we'd talk?"

"Something like that." She stood up and reached for his hand. "Come on. You have to be home by nine or Sylvia will worry."

That left them about an hour. Logan sighed and joined her, and for most of the trek Lucy allowed him to get lost in his head. He had so many questions, but right now only one seemed to matter. "So James _will_ forgive me? I really get to spend the rest of my life with him?"

"You do. And the two of you are very happy together. I'm not going to give you too many specifics, because that takes all the fun out of it, but from everything I learned in the future, you are sickeningly devoted to each other."

Logan closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He knew that he should be more concerned with making sure the world survived, but James was his priority. James had _always _been his priority.

_And that's why Roger sent you in the first place. Because he knew that, he knew you'd do anything in your power to save James. _

Yet James wasn't the one who'd needed saving. Or at least...not in the way Logan imagined.

"I have so many questions," Logan mumbled once they were seated on a park bench. "I don't even know where to start. If I did...or _will_ do, I guess...everything in the shadows, how is James so successful? How do we convince the world that he's the one coming up with all this stuff?"

"We'll get to that. You told me once that it's best to start from the beginning when explaining the past. Then you laughed and said 'Which is weird, since the beginning is actually the future.'"

Logan chuckled. It _did_ sound like something he'd say. "Okay then. We have about forty-five minutes. Talk."

Lucy began with her own story. She'd grown up in the country of what Logan considered the enemy, her upbringing extremely different from his because it was in a highly-militarized nation. Due to her talents in the art of being a soldier, she was indoctrinated from an early age and trained to be a killing machine. Her mission in life was to take out the enemy for the safety of her nation, which was constantly under attack from all points on the globe.

"And I believed it," she murmured solemnly, hands clasped together on her lap. "Everything they told me, I believed it. I had no reason to doubt anything, at least until I started going on missions outside the country."

What she'd learned over time was that her government was lying to them. They did believe themselves to be in danger, but that fear was unfounded. Lucy soon came to discover that she was killing innocent people who hadn't done anything wrong except perhaps state publicly that her leader was a threat and someone who acted on paranoia rather than facts.

"It devastated me," she whispered. Logan stretched out his hand to cover hers, and she didn't move it away. "All along I thought I was saving the world. Instead, my dictator was destroying it and I was helping him. I was horrified."

By that point it was too late to get out. Desertion of the army was punishable by death. Any act of non-loyalty would lead to the same road. Lucy was stuck.

"I didn't know what to do," she admitted. "And I had to pretend that nothing had changed, that I was still devoted to the cause. I was one of their best, they expected success from me. But once I realized what was happening, I knew I wouldn't be able to kill anyone again. Not unless it was for the right reasons."

Luckily, before being sent on her next mission, Lucy was called to a private meeting with her dictator and his top general. Their plan was explained to her. It was the most important mission to ever be offered to a soldier and came with the highest honor.

She was going to destroy all of their enemies in one blow.

"All I had to do was go back in time and kill James. A high school kid who would eventually foil the plans of our greatest ancestor. It was an easy job and would put me in line for the highest-ranking position in our army. It was an honor to be offered such an important job at my age. At any age, really. I was going to save my country and glorify my ancestor by putting his genius plan into action in the past."

Logan shook his head. "How did they not realize the radiation would kill everyone? Not just your enemies, but _everyone_?"

"They aren't the smartest. Honestly I think our scientists probably told him it wouldn't work and humanity would die, but he didn't want to hear that. He would've said something like 'Our greatest ruler couldn't be wrong. His plan will succeed.' So in their minds, James dies, the theory never gets published, and the plan to blow up all the nuclear plants goes on as prepared. Our continent survives, we end up taking over the countries that are left, and we rule the world. Fast forward two hundred years to now, and everyone worships us."

"It wouldn't work like that."

"I know, genius. And even if it did, it would change so many things that a lot of us wouldn't be born. He himself probably wouldn't be."

"Right. How did he not see it?"

"Again, not that smart. Full of himself. But what would matter is that our country survived and is now ruling the entire world—whether it's him specifically or someone else. He would've honored our ancestor, and that was kind of the whole point."

"Wow," Logan mouthed. "Psychotic."

"Definitely."

"So what did you do?"

Lucy was told that the mission was being offered to a select handful of soldiers. She was their top choice and would be given the power to choose her team. Seeing the mission for the catastrophe it was bound to be, she immediately accepted it and demanded that she work alone. Thinking quick, she suggested it might be smarter to travel to a point later in the timeline so that she could learn the true history of how Diamond's theory had unfolded by gaining his trust. They praised her for her insight and set her up to go back in time.

"But the whole time what I was really looking for was a way to keep them from succeeding. If I knew how it all happened, I could make sure my government did nothing to mess with it. With Diamond, specifically."

"And then you went back and found out it wasn't James at all. It was me."

"Yep."

"Just out of curiosity, how did you gain his trust? He doesn't let people in, and I doubt that will change much over time."

"I used his ego," she smiled.

"His...how?"

"I pretended to be a college student who worshiped him. Attended all of his lectures, met him at those whenever I could. Applied for and won a scholarship that he set up. I think he was just so excited that he could inspire someone that his walls came down. It took time, of course. A lot of boring lectures and charity functions and 'accidental' meetings on campuses. I basically became his stalker."

Logan's jaw dropped. "And I didn't find that strange? I didn't warn him that it was a little weird that a college kid was following him around like a sycophant?" He ignored that given the choice growing up, he would've done the same thing.

"You weren't there to see it. When James would do his lectures or go on tours, you stayed home."

"Tours?"

"Yeah. You know, like...college tours. Hospital tours. Invitations to speak somewhere, to spread his knowledge."

The speeches he gave throughout his life. All of those appearances that Logan had grown up wishing he'd been able to attend. "So you're saying I never get to witness that in person? I'm not part of it?"

"Not overtly. You write the speeches. James memorizes them. He's got a wicked memory."

Yes, Logan knew that. It was what had gotten James through his classes over the past two months, and probably longer when he was applying himself. "_I _write them? And then...what? We just let the world think it's all coming from him? How is he okay with that?"

Lucy sat back against the bench's wooden slats with a grin. "I'm gonna let you figure that out yourself. No one knows him better than you, so it won't take long."

Logan sighed. "You can't just tell me?"

"Nope. It's more fun this way. You have to do _some_ of the work on your own."

"Sounds like I end up doing _all _the work on my own." But Logan put his mind to the puzzle. Why would James, who wanted to be an actor above all things, give that up for a life devoted to science and academic pursuits that bored him?

"_James? He's always wanted to go out there and be a star. Doesn't matter what genre it's in, he wants to be the best."_

"_I just want to be famous. I want people to remember me. I want to be special, you know?"_

"Oh my god," Logan breathed. "It's the fame. That's why he goes along with it. Because it makes him feel loved and special. That's all he's ever wanted."

"Bingo."

Logan shifted to face Lucy. "But that means he knows. He knows about the future, about how his name will go down in history books as one of the most innovative people in the world. Which means...I tell him?"

Lucy smirked, letting him run with it.

"I tell him. Because I know that's how it has to be. It's his dream in life. It will make him happy."

"And that's _your _dream. Really, what you care most about is James' happiness. It's a way to kill two birds with one stone. Ha! I finally got to use that one!"

Logan ignored her little victory dance. "It makes sense. It all makes sense. I save the world but James takes the credit. He lives the life he always wanted to live, admired and respected. And I get to share it with him while still bettering lives and curing cancer. Even the common cold! It all comes from me!"

"Congratulations, Professor! You figured it out!" She lifted her palm and Logan absently met it for a high five.

"Don't tell me James still calls me that in the future."

"Until the day you die, buddy. Only eventually he knows you are an actual professor, and it's a pet name that you grow to love."

"Holy shit. Holy _shit_. This is...really? This is my life? I get to be with James and we live happily ever after while saving the lives of millions of people?"

"Along with your cool friend who keeps your secret until the day you die."

Logan frowned. "Wait, at what point do I decide you're not a threat? James will have to bring you home, right? If I don't go out in public?"

"You do go out occasionally, just never with James. But you don't worry about me because you already know about me. From this night. This conversation. You're actually the one who tells _me_ about it, and tells me I have to come back and find you so you make the right choice. It's all a little confusing, right?"

Logan was starting to get a headache just thinking about the whole thing. "So James brings you home?"

"Yep. At your request. Since he knows that you know things, he trusts you completely and I have dinner with you guys. That's when you tell us both about tonight and that we met after you left his house."

"So...basically, I'm the one who set all of this into motion."

"Yep. I mean...technically, I guess it's Roger, but...yeah. You're the reason I'm here tonight."

It was so much to absorb all at once. "What about the team?"

"What team?"

"The scientific team. The one James will 'work' with in the future."

"Oh, you mean the team you'll put together to prove your theories?"

Logan's lips pursed. "So it's _my _team?"

"Yep."

"How will I know who to choose?" Logan answered his own question before Lucy could. "Because I grew up knowing their names. I studied them and wished I could've been among them."

Lucy nodded. "You're their leader. You're just never photographed with them and they never speak of you outside the lab. All of them take an oath of silence and sign non-disclosure agreements."

"Why would they do that? Surely one of them would eventually spill about me and tell the world James isn't truly a scientist or doctor?"

"The world knows that, Logan. They know he never became an official doctor. He throws himself into testing and proving his theories practically out of high school. Nobody cares because they just assume he's a genius. Only a genius could come up with such a radical concept, right? You guys are going to have funding thrown at you from all directions. All people want is a cure for cancer. They're desperate. They don't care that James doesn't have a degree. If you can keep their kids from getting cancer? They'll give you whatever you need. That radiation vaccine saves lives."

"But it can't cure those who already have the genes, who weren't genetically altered upon birth."

"Exactly. So it takes time."

"And it can't save Brooke." Logan inhaled. "She's still going to die over the summer."

Lucy nodded sadly. "Yeah. I'm sorry I never got to meet her. The way you guys talk about her, she sounds pretty awesome."

"She's the best," Logan chuckled. "Wait, you didn't see her at his party?"

"Oh, I saw her. But I didn't know her, and she uh...seemed a little intimidating. I was only there briefly anyway. Just long enough to mess with you."

Logan rolled his eyes. "And what was even the point of that?"

"So you'd know my face when you saw me tonight. You wouldn't think I was some crazy person."

"Yeah, too late for that," he teased, then softened the jibe with an elbow to her side.

"Oh, keep it up, nerd. You're talking to the only person alive who can beat you at chess."

"What?" Logan gasped. "Nobody can beat me at chess!"

"Not yet," she grinned. "But in that future where we're great friends? It's on."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"Yep. You will."

Exhaustion was starting to set in, his brain overloaded. Logan glanced at his phone for the time, disappointed there was no text from James. "You're sure we end up together, right? That he forgives me?"

"Positive."

"And how do I make that happen?"

"You give him what he wants most. Accept him for who he is, even the parts of him you don't understand or agree with."

"Of course I accept him."

"Do you? From what I understand, tonight's fight stemmed from him thinking you want him to change for you."

"I don't. I love him the way he is."

"Then show him that. Embrace the things that are important to him, even if you think they're silly."

"I don't think his workout regimen is silly. Is that what he believes?"

"I'm not talking about the workout regimen, dummy. He recently asked something of you and you smashed his heart by saying no without even considering it."

_Want to dance? _ Logan groaned. "The prom. Please tell me I don't have to go to the prom. I hate dances!"

"But James loves them. They matter to him. Show him you take his interests seriously. Go to the prom, Logan."

"I don't even have a tux!"

"Actually, you do. That's one of the things you sent me back to do. I special-ordered you one with the exact measurements you provided me. It's paid for and ready to be picked up after your last final tomorrow." She reached into a pocket of her jacket for a claim ticket. "Here. You're going to show up at that dance and shock the hell out of him."

Logan looked at it, not at all surprised it was from the same place his friends had gotten their tuxes. He shoved the ticket into his pocket. "And then what?"

"Nope, that's all you get. I told you, it's more fun if you don't know everything."

"What?! How the hell am I supposed to win him back if you won't tell me how?"

Lucy smacked his thigh. "You'll figure it out. He's going with Kendall and Carlos, but he'll leave with you. And then you two will have a very long, life-altering conversation."

"That's when I tell him the truth, isn't it? Tomorrow night. And I tell him about our future."

"Actually, I think you_ show_ him. It's the only way he'll believe you."

"Right. That makes sense." Logan stood up. "Look, I gotta get home. It's almost nine. Will you walk with me?"

"Of course."

They started down the sidewalk as if they were old friends. Logan supposed to Lucy, they were. "I still have questions."

"I know."

"What about Kendall and Carlos? Do they ever know?"

"I'm honestly not sure. I do know that they visit you guys when they can. They're going to spend a lot of years traveling with hockey teams."

Logan grinned. "Together?"

"Together. They make it clear that they're a package deal in all trades, and it's something new to the hockey world but they're so talented that they get away with it. Don't tell them that, let it be a surprise."

"I'm really going to enjoy watching that play out. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What happens when your bosses realize you're working for the other team?"

"Oh, I've disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

"Yep. Faked my own death in this time period. Freak accident, got hit by a bus. What are the odds, right?"

"Wow. So they know not to send someone back to look for you. But...won't they just find someone else to carry out the plan?"

Lucy looked away.

"Lucy?"

"The plan isn't going to be attempted again. My dictator's successor is smarter than he was. When he dies, all that ends. But you understand that it's still important to make sure everything plays out exactly as it's supposed to? His death won't keep your plans safe unless it all happens in order."

Logan nodded, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. "And when does he die? How?"

Lucy shrugged. "There are some things you don't need to know. This is one of them."

It dawned slowly. Lucy had executed an assassination and she wasn't proud of it. Logan saw her in a new light.

"Don't judge me."

"I won't. I'm not. So do you uh...just pop in and out of time? Is that what you do with the rest of your life?"

"Don't know. Everything I've done has taken place in less than a year of my own life. This was the last thing I needed to do to make sure it all goes according to plan. You'll see me later in your life, but it's already happened in mine. Your future is my past."

"Weird," Logan muttered.

"Yep."

"So what's next?"

"I don't know yet. I was thinking it might be fun to check out the 1920's. You know, mobs and gangsters, that sort of thing. I could be a great one."

"I'm sure you could. And in my mind we've just met, but I already know that you don't like the killing. You wouldn't be happy with that life."

"You don't think so? I could be some vigilante, putting a stop to all the bad guys."

"But that would be altering history too much. You know that."

"I do," she sighed. "I've been afraid to visit the future. _Our _future, I mean."

"Like the twenty-third century us?"

"Yeah. Do you think if I went there, I'd mess up too many things?"

"Maybe." When Lucy stayed quiet, he added, "Or maybe you could make it better. Use your knowledge of the past to save the world again. Who knows what the world has in store for us four hundred years from now?"

"What if I go there and it's gone? If I end up in a world where everyone's dead?"

"Well, knowing you, you'll figure out how it happened and then go back and stop it. Because that's one thing you're really good at."

Lucy grinned. "Thanks, Logan. You always know just what to say."

"I don't know about that. I have no idea what I'm going to say to James tomorrow night."

"You'll figure it out. Just focus on getting that assignment typed up tonight and turned in before your final. The rest will all fall into place."

"I hope so."

"I _know_ so." Lucy glanced at him with a wink. "We've done it before."

* * *

She stopped him with a hand on his arm before he could turn up the front walk. "This is where I leave you. We can't risk any of the Garcias or Knights seeing me. They'd want to know who I was."

Logan knew that was true. He held out his hand and she shook it. "Thank you. I really thought I screwed up."

"Nope. You did exactly what you were meant to."

He nodded. "One more question."

"Yeah right," Lucy snorted. "That's going to lead to a million more and we don't have time."

Logan ignored that. "How do you know when I die? _I _don't know, so I couldn't have told you. If there's no record of me, nobody in the future could know either."

"I may or may not have popped in every five years after our first talk to check on that. I found out when and went to that time. We couldn't have a funeral for you, but I helped James through it. He uh..." Surprisingly, Lucy's eyes watered. "He was never the same after."

"Oh, James." Logan could only imagine the heartbreak of living without him, because it's what Logan would feel had James died first. "What happened then?"

"All the research stopped, obviously. He spent a lot of time trying to talk me into taking him back in time so he could see you again. Or into the future, so he could spend time with you before you travel back. But that would've messed up everything."

"Right," Logan nodded. "There's not a lot known about James once he 'retired' from his studies. Everything I read says he became kind of a recluse."

"He did. He missed you so much, Logan. Kendall and Carlos actually moved so they could be close to him. They were worried about him. I think without them, he would've just...faded away on his own."

_Thank God for Kendall and Carlos._ "He died of natural causes, right? That part was true?"

"Yes. You already know when and where. He was mourned by billions."

Logan had read about that, how everyone wanted to come pay their respects to the man who had healed the world. "Did you...did you ever tell him that?"

"No. I think you did. You made him promise not to do anything stupid after you died because things had to go according to history."

"But he tried anyway," Logan smirked. "By begging you to travel through time."

"And you knew he would."

"Because you're telling me right now."

Lucy shrugged. "Also because you know him so well."

Logan grinned. He _did _know James. "Well, I guess this is goodbye. I'll see you in...twenty years? Maybe?"

"Something like that," she winked. "I'll surprise you."

"If you get bored in the future, feel free to pop in on my birthday one year. It would be a wonderful surprise."

"Maybe I will. If nothing else, that will keep you guessing every time September rolls around. 'Will this be the year Lucy comes to see me?'" Her face morphed into a mockery of excitement.

"Just make sure it happens. Obviously after James brings you home to meet me."

"You got it."

"How do you get back, anyway? Without the machine, how do you travel?"

"You don't know? They never taught you that?"

"No."

Lucy studied him. "Are you ever going to want to leave this time?"

Logan couldn't see any reason why he would. He shook his head. "Nope. I stay where James is."

"Then you don't need to know."

"Oh come on, I need to know everything!"

"Not this." She smiled and opened her arms. "Bring it in, time's short. Oh, that's a weird one, too. Like time has a height?"

That wasn't at all what the saying was about, but Logan let it go and reached for her. It felt natural to hug her, which would've shocked Logan less than an hour ago. He held on tight to the one person in his life who understood what he'd gone through and what it felt like to be out of time. "Thank you," he said again.

"It's what I do." She squeezed him tighter before letting go. "Take care of him. He has a flair for drama and can be pretty ridiculous."

"Don't I know it," Logan laughed. "It's okay, though. I love him for it."

"Tell him that. And don't stress too hard over what you're gonna say to him tomorrow night. You already know it works out."

"I guess." A minivan suddenly turned into the driveway, stopping behind Sylvia's parked car. "Oh crap, they're home. You'd better—"

But when Logan turned back to Lucy, she was gone. He was alone on the sidewalk as if he'd been talking to himself. "Wow. She's _really_ good at that."

Two car doors slammed before Sylvia's voice floated to him. "Logan? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. How was dinner?"

"It was fun. We just dropped Brooke off and James said you'd left. Is everything okay?"

Staring back at Jennifer and his new mother, whose faces wore matching expressions of concern, Logan smiled.

"Everything's perfect."


	34. Chapter 34

A/N—Surprise! I was in the mood to post tonight. This story has actually been done for a few weeks and the new one is coming along nicely, so I decided to go ahead and just put up a bonus chapter for the week.

A few notes about it. One, I know that prom is usually earlier in the school year and not a week before graduation. For this story, it worked better to have them close together so that's what I went with. Sorry for any confusion.

And two, the song mentioned in this chapter is REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling." I thought it fit the moment very well. :) This site ruins spacing whenever I try to post lyrics, so apologies about that as well.

I hope you guys are still enjoying the story! I'll probably have the first chapter of the new one up next week, but this one still has three or four left. We're almost done! It's bittersweet. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Logan offered to go downstairs and let Kendall and Katie know it was time to go home. The sounds of a heated battle floated up the stairs when he opened the door to the basement, then Kendall swore before immediately calling out, "Sorry, Katie! Pretend you didn't hear that!"

"Please, bro, I hear everything. Even those moans when you two are 'studying' in your room."

Kendall gasped. Logan reached the bottom step just in time to hear Carlos do the same, and see his face quickly reddening. "Katie, not cool!"

"Oh, Kendall!" she gushed. "Do that again!"

Kendall shot up off the couch, the game forgotten. "You are so dead when we get home!"

"Touch me and I'll tell Mom what I walked in on last week."

They were at a stalemate. Amused, Logan cleared his throat. Three startled faces turned his way. "Your mom's upstairs, guys."

Glad to have a distraction from Katie's comments, Carlos shut off the game and greeted him. "Logan! So happy you're home, bro! I need help with my essay for English. It's due tomorrow."

"We can look at that before bed." He moved aside to let Katie pass. "See ya, squirt."

"Stop calling me that! I'm almost thirteen!"

"Don't remind me," Kendall groaned as he hugged Carlos. "How does she keep growing? Can't she just stay that cute little girl who used to worship the ground I walk on?"

"She _was_ pretty cute," Carlos agreed. He lifted his lips to Kendall's. "Bye, boyfriend. See you in the morning."

"One more day, Carlos. Just one more day of school and then we're free."

"Don't forget the prom. That's part of school. Right?"

"I guess it counts." After planting one more kiss on Carlos' mouth, Kendall headed for the stairs. "See you in the morning, Logan."

"Uh...actually, I don't think you will. I'm going to walk to school by myself tomorrow. Or...maybe I'll drive for once. Why haven't we been doing that all along since I got a car?"

Kendall halted halfway up the steps and turned back. "You're not coming with us?"

"No, James and I had a fight. He doesn't want to see me."

Carlos and Kendall groaned at the same time. "What did you do this time?" Kendall asked. "You know how sensitive he is."

"It's a long story. Have either of you heard from him tonight?"

Both checked their phones before shaking their heads. Carlos pointed out, "He knows we'll probably just side with you."

"Well, I'm going to give him time to cool off. He's got enough to deal with tomorrow, with the finals and prom. And I have an assignment to write, so...actually, Carlos, can your mom help you with English tonight? I'm on a timeline." Which was more accurate than anyone knew.

"Yeah, I guess. Kendall helped me write it, we just need someone to correct the mistakes." He jogged up the steps after Kendall. "You coming, bro?"

"Yeah. I need to grab some stuff from the room anyway." Logan followed them toward the kitchen but held Carlos back before they reached it. "Listen, I'm going to need complete silence for this report I'm finishing up. I was thinking I'd do it downstairs so I'm not interrupted. That cool with you?"

"Sure, Mom will want me in bed soon anyway. It's all yours, dude."

"Great. Thanks, Carlos."

This time it was Carlos who stopped him from walking away. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because James isn't talking to you. I know how much that upsets you. Last time you freaked out."

That was true, but last time he hadn't known it was all part of the plan. "I'm not worried about it. He'll come around. Things are gonna work out just fine."

"I hope so, man. And I hope it's before he decides to take off again. We don't need to go through all that a second time. Was it about prom? I know he's still really upset that you won't go. Even if he acts like everything's fine."

One corner of Logan's mouth turned up. "Everything _is _fine, Carlos. What's meant to be will be."

After giving Logan a strange look, Carlos turned away. "I've never seen you so calm. Give me some of whatever you're on."

Logan laughed. He was high on the knowledge that James would be by his side forever, and nothing felt better than that.

* * *

While Sylvia and Carlos were saying goodbye to the Knights, Logan snuck into the bedroom to retrieve his memory cube of James. He grabbed his backpack and laptop and then locked himself (literally, as he was taking no chances) in the basement to focus. Twenty minutes later he had the entire assignment typed up. An hour after that, he'd added a second report from scratch. He'd realized that Mrs. Simmons might find it suspicious that Logan turned in James' report, unless he was doing both at once. It was easy for him to throw together a detailed essay on the effects of exercise on patients with chronic depression; in a small way, he felt like he was honoring James with it. His name went on that, James' on the radiation theory, and two hours later when Logan was finally able to crawl into bed, he did it with exhausted relief.

He still had to actually hand Mrs. Simmons the assignment, but that would be the easy part. It was done.

_Hey, Roger, guess what? I did it. I had help, as I'm sure you know (or will soon enough), but I did it. The world is saved. I get to spend the rest of my life with James. All of this, every single second of fear and frustration, was totally worth it. Thank you._

He closed his eyes, Carlos' snores not annoying for once, and just soaked in the life he'd built in this place and with these people. It was his and he never had to leave it. Did he miss his old life, the one where he'd woken up every day to go spread knowledge at a university, then driven home to an empty house and spent much of his time thinking about (and fantasizing, he could be honest about that) what it might've been like to know James? He honestly didn't, because the reality of knowing James and having a family and friends was better than anything his mind had ever come up with. He knew it wouldn't always be easy—he and James would probably argue sometimes, he might grow bored with knowing about certain things ahead of time, and he'd have to live through Brooke's death. It would all be worth it to save humanity and to do it with James at his side.

Of course, that wouldn't happen if James never spoke to him again. Lucy had said the dance was Logan's best chance to get him back, but he couldn't stand the thought of James lying in bed right now alone and scared that he'd lost Logan forever, that he'd have to face everything on his own. Before Lucy, Logan might've feared that James would run away again. He knew better now.

Hoping to at least ease some of James' fears, enough to get him through the night anyway, Logan reached for his phone and sent a text. _"I love you. I know you're upset with me and I understand why, but I love you the way you are and I'd never try to change you. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you're not good enough. There's nobody else I want to be with and that's never going to change. I'm here when you need me. Always." _

He added a heart at the end. He didn't know if James was still awake and would read that tonight, but Logan wasn't worried about it.

Things had a way of working out.

* * *

Purposely arriving early for the morning final, Logan beat James to class the following morning. He greeted Mrs. Simmons with a smile and a cup of coffee that made her eyes light up.

"Logan, thank you so much! How did you know I was running late and didn't have time to stop this morning?"

He hadn't known, it had just felt right. "I figured today would be a stressful day for you and even if you had stopped, a second cup wouldn't hurt."

"You're a joy. I'm really going to miss having you in my class." She walked through the door he was holding open for her, then he followed her in. "Where's James?"

"On the way, he got held up at his locker." After setting the coffee and a few packets of cream and sugar down on her desk, he reached into his backpack for the reports—one in a bright green cover and the other in blue. He took a quick glance to make sure he'd attached the correct name to each one (ha, wouldn't that be a disaster if he'd screwed that up) and passed them over. "The extra credit assignments. I did type it up for James, but I promise it's all his idea and his work. He really blew my mind on this."

Mrs. Simmons smiled up at Logan. "Well, I'm sure some of that is due to your influence. You really got his brain in gear this semester. I'm so proud of him."

"So am I," Logan smiled.

Another student stepped into the room, and seeing that it was Linda (with a bag from the local donut place for Mrs. Simmons), Logan nodded at her before taking his seat. Leave it to Teacher's Pet Linda to try to grease the wheels for a better grade. He felt her suspicious gaze on him and he almost laughed.

_That's right, little girl, enjoy being the star pupil while you can. James Diamond is going to knock you right out of the park._

James slipped in just before the bell was due to ring. It was obvious he'd slept badly (if at all) and was nervous about the upcoming test. Logan tried to catch his eye but James kept his head down and passed his usual desk; instead he continued to the back of the room, where Logan watched James take the desk Logan had used over the first two weeks of arrival.

_It's okay, Logan. You knew he'd still be mad. This is all part of it._

Still, it was tough to see it from a distance and not be able to reassure James that everything would be okay. Using a trip to the pencil sharpener as an excuse, Logan walked by James' desk and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You got this," he whispered. "I believe in you."

James went stiff but said nothing. He refused to even lift his head. That was fine. Logan's words had hopefully been enough.

* * *

The second the bell rang, James shot up from the desk and rushed out of the room.

_Typical James_, Logan smirked. _You can't run from me. I'm your destiny._

Logan moved on to his second (and last) final of the day. James hadn't been worried about this one, as for him it was P.E. For Logan it was math; he aced it.

Logan's last trip to his locker was bittersweet. He had so much to look forward to after graduation, but he'd enjoyed his time at this school. Lunches in the library with his best friends and James, the chance to study an era he'd grown up wishing he could experience firsthand...they'd have no reason for the study group on Sundays now. Could they still have their weekly trip to Good Eats? Surely the guys wouldn't turn down that offer, especially if Logan treated them each time. It wasn't like his money went anywhere else after he'd bought a used car.

Logan knew that Brooke's death was looming on the horizon, and that (along with the whirlwind James would go through once Mrs. Simmons' buddy at the university got his hands on James' paper) would change things. For now, though, he was in no hurry to let go of the routine.

"Hey! Logan!"

Logan paused in the act of clearing out his locker. He knew that voice. Curious, he spun around to greet Kendall. "Hey. How were finals?"

"Uh...I'm not sure." Kendall gripped his backpack strap harder. "I might've bombed history. We probably should've spent more time on that in the study group."

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure you passed."

"Yeah, let's just hope Carlos did, too. I really need him to graduate with me."

Logan barely hid a smirk. "He'll be fine. I was just wondering if you guys want to get breakfast at the diner tomorrow."

"Are you kidding? We'll probably be sleeping in late after the prom. I don't plan to be home early tonight."

"Right. So...lunch then?"

"Yeah, that's if James starts talking to you again. That's actually why I'm here. Carlos and I tried all morning but he won't tell us what you guys are fighting about and he won't even consider hanging out with you. So...that puts us right back in that position where we have to choose. We don't want you to think we're siding with him by going to prom. The plans were already made and—"

"Kendall, don't even worry about it. I know you guys aren't taking sides. He's riding with you, right?"

"Yeah, Mom's letting me take the van. We're heading over now to pick up the tuxes and then we're all getting ready at my place."

Logan was a little sorry to miss that. "Would um...would you guys be open to doing that at his place instead?"

Kendall frowned. "Why?"

"Or maybe at least pick up Brooke and take her back to your place? I just don't think she'd want to miss out on seeing James all dressed up and...handsome." The mere thought of how James was going to look stole James' breath away.

"Oh. You know, now that you mention it, Sylvia's probably going to feel the same way. I didn't even realize. Yeah. We'll see if Sylvia can pick up Brooke on the way home from work. And they can have a girls' night once we leave. It's perfect! Thanks, Logan!"

"I just know how Brooke is, and she wants to share as much as she can with James before..."

"Right. Okay, I'll try to talk James into lunch with you at Good Eats tomorrow. Wish me luck."

James' voice called out harshly from down the hall. "Hey, Knight! You coming or are we leaving without you?"

Logan spun toward him. James was standing with Carlos and determinedly keeping his gaze away from Logan. "You'd better go," Logan chuckled. "He's fighting hard not to look at me. Let's make it easy on him this time."

"I'll be right there!" To Logan, Kendall said, "Just tell me this. Whatever pissed him off this time, is it really worth being mad about or is James overreacting as usual?"

"It would be worth being mad if it was true. But it's not, and eventually he'll realize that."

"Damn. Does he think you cheated on him?"

"No, nothing like that. Don't worry too much about it, Kendall, I'll fix it. Just be there for him in the meantime so he knows he's not alone."

"Done. I'll let you know about tomorrow."

"Thanks."

"Knight! Five more seconds and we're out of here, with or without you!"

"God, he's so annoying," Kendall sighed. "See ya, Logan."

"Have fun tonight."

Kendall jogged away through the throng of seniors saying their last goodbyes until graduation (or for some, prom). Logan focused on James, not looking away until he got what he knew was coming. Sure enough, just before they turned a corner, James looked back at him.

Logan was ready. The second their eyes met, he mouthed, "I love you."

James' breath caught. Even from halfway down the hall, Logan could see the effect those words had on James, who turned away fast.

Logan smiled. _ Yep, he's still in there. And I'm going to get him back._

* * *

It was weird having the Garcia home to himself, and as Logan attempted to tie his bow tie for the eleventh time, he wished that wasn't the case. He would've gladly welcomed assistance from either of his parents.

That's how he'd grown to think of them now, and it no longer felt strange. It just felt right.

What_ wasn't _right? The damn bow tie. Logan had worn suits plenty in his time. He'd even donned a tie so many times he could do it in his sleep. He'd never had occasion to wear a tuxedo, though, and the damn bow tie was outwitting him.

He'd resorted to Google and still gotten nowhere. How had he come up with a scientific formula to save mankind yet couldn't even manage to tie together two pieces of fabric without messing it up?

The sound of the front door closing made him gasp. Logan glanced at his phone. 7:05, there was only one person it could be. He rushed out of the bathroom and toward the living room. "Papi!"

"Hey, son!" A helmet tucked under one arm, Papi removed the shades he wore as part of the uniform and smiled at Logan. "Your tie's crooked."

"I know! Help!"

With a soft laugh, Papi dropped his helmet onto a chair and motioned Logan closer. "Come here. It's all in the wrist." Logan stood by patiently while Papi untied the fabric and started from the beginning. "I thought Syl said you weren't going to the prom."

"Change of plans."

"Mmm. Finally going for it, huh? Can't say none of us saw it coming. There you go." Papi patted Logan's shoulder and stepped back. "Perfect."

Logan's gaze narrowed. "What...going for _what_, exactly?"

"For James! You two have been dancing around each other for months, it's about time you admitted it!"

It felt like a volcano was erupting just under Logan's face. "Wha...James?"

"Oh come on, don't lie to your old man. You can lie to yourself all you want, but your parents know you, son. Syl and I were hoping for this. You two need each other. You're too serious and he's not serious enough. Together, you make a great team. It's all about balance."

Logan searched for words and found none. It would be useless to deny it.

"What I don't understand is why you aren't going with them."

"It was kind of a last-minute thing. They don't know I'm coming."

"Well, they'll be happy to see you. And this means I get the place to myself for the night! Or at least a few hours. Usually when Syl is gone, you boys are here."

Logan grinned. "Big plans, Papi?"

"You know it! I think I'll order a pizza and blast my metal. You don't need a ride, right? My bike might ruin that hair you worked so hard on."

"No, I've got my car," Logan chuckled. "Thanks." He started to walk away, then turned back. "I mean that. Thank you for taking me in and giving me a home. A family. A new life. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"We know, son. Trust me. We know. And once you decide what you want to do and move on, we'll do the same for another kid. But this will always be your home, okay? You can come back anytime. And no rush to leave, either. We love having you here."

Lucy hadn't warned him he'd be crying tonight. If he didn't leave soon, that would be the case. "I love being here." Logan cleared his throat. "Have fun tonight."

"You, too! Don't let that boy even think about getting away. You two belong together!"

The truth of that chased away Logan's tears. One more look in the mirror, and then it was time to go.

Tonight he'd make his dreams come true.

* * *

Due to the mishap with his tie and a spontaneous stop at a drugstore, Logan arrived even later than he'd planned to. By the time he purchased a ticket and stepped through the door of the main room, the dance had been going on for an hour. He was assaulted with some ancient song featuring too much sax and looked toward the auditorium stage to see a live band performing. The singer had a hairstyle that reminded Logan of a character on a beloved show from this century. Chandler? Had that been his name? During a flashback he'd had the same hairstyle.

_Eighties. I forgot, the theme for this stupid thing is the 1980's. Because that's retro._

A laugh escaped Logan. His entire life had become retro.

There seemed to be people everywhere and too much going on. The dance floor was packed. To the left sat tables overflowing with food and drink. Along the right side of the room smaller tables were scattered, many of them empty at the moment. Logan skimmed the dancers and found Carlos and Kendall, who actually appeared to be having a good time. If anyone could get Kendall on a dance floor, it was Carlos.

But where was James?

_What if he's dancing with someone else? What if he's trying to get over you by moving on? He might be drunk and making out with some slut who—_

_Stop it, Logan. Just stop. He belongs to you. Find him and claim your place at his side._

Calmer now, Logan let his gaze roam over the students milling around the refreshment tables. No sign of the most gorgeous man Logan had ever laid eyes on. He tried the other tables next, the ones surrounded by chairs. It wasn't hard then to find James, as he was the only person sitting alone in a sea of couples. His hand was wrapped around a plastic cup of soda (and hopefully nothing more) while he watched the kids cutting up on the dance floor. His eyes looked lost and hopeless.

_Oh, James. I'm here. I'm here for you._

Nervous now even though he knew the outcome, Logan zigzagged through tables toward James. Lucy had told him everything would be fine, and he believed that. What Logan didn't know was what they went through to get there. Would there be a huge fight? Another blow-up that would rip his heart out? Would James cause a scene before running out of here and forcing Logan to give chase?

Practically shaking as he approached the table, Logan licked his lips and took a deep breath. He'd just go with it, live in the moment and let fate take its course. James didn't hear him coming over the loud music, had no idea Logan was even there until his view of the dance floor was blocked. He looked up suddenly, probably already having the rehearsed "I'm not in the mood" ready for the latest in a string of students hoping to get him out there, but instead his jaw dropped and he gasped as he took in the sight of Logan dressed up and smiling at him softly. "Hey," Logan tried.

James' chest heaved. He wanted to run; his eyes were a mix of terror and disbelief. There was something else in them that kept him from fleeing. Logan thought it might be hope. "What are you doing here?"

"Want to dance?"

* * *

Obviously they couldn't actually dance, not here in this room with a hundred people watching. James knew that. He hesitated, breath coming in shallow pants, but his eyes showed that he wanted to say yes. Logan knew what to do. He held out a hand to James. "Come on."

"Where?"

"Just come with me. Trust me."

It only took about three seconds of debate. James accepted the hand and let Logan lead him as quickly as possible out into the lobby. The music followed them but was blessedly muffled once the doors to the main room closed; the band had moved on to a song about something called "Pac-Man Fever" and the less they knew about that, the better, in Logan's opinion. He took a fast glance around the lobby, seeing only the students who had been in the box office selling tickets. They were apparently done for the night and closed that door before rushing toward the auditorium. Logan watched them pass, James' hand tight in his grip behind his back, and then they were alone with only the far-away sounds of an old video game and each other. Not taking any chances, Logan pulled James around a corner of the main-room entrance. They would be hidden from anyone going in or out of the room.

Only then did he allow himself to look into James' eyes. They were a muddy green swimming like algae in an ocean of tears. "Don't cry, it's okay."

"No, Logan, I'm sorry. I was so stressed out and worried about graduation and finals, and this whole thing with Mom...but I held it together because you believed in me. Because you said I could do it. Last night you doubted me, you said I wasn't good enough, and—"

Logan squeezed James' hand tighter. "I didn't say that."

"Just let me finish, okay?" James sucked in a shaky breath. "It was on your face, Logan. You were disappointed in me. And...I don't know, that was the last straw. The one person who believed in me, who made me believe in myself, didn't think I was good enough. I lost it. If you didn't believe it, how could I?"

"James—"

"And it hurt. It fucking hurt. I couldn't stand to see you look at me that way. So I ran, like I always do, and decided that if I'm not good enough for you, I don't want to be here. But I have to stay for Mom, you know?"

"Shh." Logan caressed James' cheek. "James, you _are_ good enough."

"I don't feel like it most of the time. I mean, I did. I was starting to. I was getting there. And then last night with the report..." James shook his head and sniffled. "So I just shut down and blocked you out. And tonight I was sitting there at that table watching Carlos and Kendall dance, watching _all of them_ dance, and it hit me what I was running from. I was pushing away the one really good person in my life, who makes me feel good about myself. And I was so lonely at that table, wishing you were here. Wishing we could dance together. Knowing that would never happen, that it would take a miracle because you think this shit is stupid."

"I never said—"

James reached up for Logan's hand, pulling it away from his face to twine their fingers. "And suddenly there you were. Like...like somehow you knew what I was thinking and how bad I needed you and even though I treated you like shit, like I always do when I get scared...you were there."

"I'm always going to be there, James. How many times do I have to say it before you believe it? I'm not going anywhere." They hadn't kissed in almost two months, and the pull was stronger than ever before. Logan pressed his mouth to James' skin, just to the left of his nose, and whispered, "I love you."

James shivered against him. It felt more like relief than any kind of arousal, and that was fine with Logan. It was probably best—for now. "Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

This time it was Logan who shivered. The opening notes of a ballad floated to them. Logan dragged his lips to James' ear and breathed, "Want to dance? There's no one here to see us."

James swallowed before sliding his arms into place around Logan's waist. Logan's hands clasped each other behind James' neck. He laid his head against James' chest as their bodies swayed slowly together in time to the song piping through the closed door.

_I can't fight this feeling any longer_

_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow_

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger_

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

Logan's lips curved up. If ever there was a more appropriate song for them...

_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever_

_I say there is no reason for my fear_

_Cause I feel so secure when we're together _

_You give my life direction, you make everything so clear_

James' chest rumbled with a soft laugh. "Do you think they wrote this about us? Though I guess not, since it's from the '80's. We weren't even born yet."

"Stranger things have happened, James. Anything is possible."

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for_

_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

_And throw away the oars forever _

James' arms tightened. Logan's eyes closed in contentment.

_My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you_

_I've been running around in circles in my mind _

_And it always seems that I'm following you _

_Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find_

"By the way," James murmured. "You look more incredible than I imagined you would. I knew I didn't want to miss this."

Logan's face lifted enough to nestle into the crook of James' neck. "I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you."

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I've forgotten what I started fighting for _

_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

_And throw away the oars forever_

It was. They'd still have to keep it a secret, Logan knew that, but his main reason for discouraging a romance with James was no longer valid. He wasn't distracting James from his destiny—he _was_ his destiny.

The song did its job and they decided at the same moment to stop fighting what had been between them from the night they'd met. This was by far not the most heated kiss they'd shared, but it was Logan's favorite because for the first time it wasn't wrong. He gave himself up to it, letting James take the lead and losing himself in the feel and taste of everything he'd ever wished for.

"Want to get out of here?" James finally asked. Now he was breathless from more than relief, his eyes full of promise of things Logan had imagined in his most secret fantasies.

"Yeah," Logan panted. "I have my car. Let's drive to the lake, we have so much to talk about."

James stepped back with a look on his face that was a cross between disbelief and amusement. "Of course. Of _course_ you want to go to a place where everyone makes out and _talk_. You never shut up, do you?"

Logan shrugged, unapologetic. "I have a lot to say." He leaned closer to whisper, "But when that's done, maybe you can think of something else to pass the time. I'm open to suggestions."

James' eyes bugged out. "Well, damn, Professor. Looks like I just bought myself a lecture. Teach me everything you know."

Logan grinned. James couldn't know how prophetic his words were, but Lucy would've appreciated the joke.


	35. Chapter 35

A/N—Time for another chapter of this one. There are still a few chapters left after this, mostly to wrap everything up. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you're all well! :)

* * *

James grabbed Logan by the wrist when he moved toward the exit. "We need to tell Kendall and Carlos I'm leaving."

"Can't you just text them?" Logan wondered.

"No way, I want them to see how good you look." Logan flushed at the compliment. "I can't show you off the way I want to, but I need someone to know about this. About _us_. Come on, we'll make it quick."

Logan followed with a sigh, breaking James' grip before they went back into the land of loud pop music. They spotted their friends in a line toward the back of the room that Logan hadn't noticed before; James knew what it was, though, and gasped. "Can we do pictures? Please please please!"

Logan was already shaking his head by the first "please." There could be no public record of him being here. "No. I'm sorry."

"But I want to remember this night! You look _so good_!"

"We'll take pictures on your phone, okay?" When James showed no sign of backing down, Logan said, "I'm here, aren't I? Isn't that enough?"

James' face softened. "Yeah. That's enough. Thanks for coming. I know you didn't want to."

"You're worth it," Logan smiled. "Come on, they're almost up."

They approached the line together and walked past everyone until they reached Kendall, who was standing behind Carlos with his arms wrapped around Carlos' waist. James tapped him on the shoulder, and they spun together because they were linked. Carlos noticed Logan first, Kendall's attention on James. "Whoa!" Carlos exclaimed with wide eyes, taking in the tux and the carefully-styled hair. "You came!"

"Holy shit," Kendall murmured. "Logan, wow."

James beamed next to him. "Yep. He showed up. For _me_."

"I was really hoping you would," Kendall said with a grin. "You guys want cuts?"

"Nah, we just came to tell you I'm going home with—" James leaned closer to proudly mouth "—my man."

Logan chuckled. This answered one question—Kendall and Carlos would certainly know of their relationship. He couldn't imagine hiding it from them anyway.

"Does this mean you guys made up?" Carlos asked.

"We did," Logan nodded.

"And soon," James added, "we're gonna make_ out_."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Oh my god, I'm getting you out of here. Have you been drinking?"

"Nope. I'm high on you."

Carlos exclaimed, "Hey, they played that song earlier! I remember the chorus saying that over and over. Guys, eighties music rocks. We should listen to more of it!"

"I'll pass," Kendall laughed. "Lake?" he said to James.

"You know it." They high-fived.

"So since you guys are back together, can we do lunch at the diner tomorrow?"

"I guess," James answered. To Logan he said, "He's been on me all night to agree to that."

"That's because he's a good friend. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Have fun."

"You, too," Carlos said meaningfully while raising his eyebrows up and down. They turned away, but Carlos stopped them. "Oh hey! Did you see who won prom queen? Your favorite person, James."

They followed his pointing finger with their gazes to see Mandy on the dance floor in the arms of a pretty, popular guy Logan had seen around campus. Both wore crowns. "She finally got what she wants," James noted. "She's the most popular girl in school."

Logan scoffed. "Yeah, that's not gonna get her far in the real world. But hey, at least she's not bothering you."

Kendall nudged Carlos. "We're up, babe. See you guys tomorrow! Noon!"

"Ha, if I'm awake that early," Carlos winked. "I'm planning to keep you out all night." He shoved Kendall toward the photographer. "Bye, guys!"

"Sylvia's never going to agree to that."

"I'm pretty sure Carlos wasn't going to ask," James smirked. "Let's get out of here. So we can go _talk_."

Logan moved when James gestured for him to. "You're laughing now, but I'm about to blow your mind."

James leaned closer as they walked. "I can think of something better for you to blow."

Logan laughed hard. James was what his mother, who'd been a fan of archaic words, would have called "incorrigible." For a moment he was sad that they'd never get to meet, then he realized she wouldn't have liked James much. He wasn't what one might consider "proper."

It made Logan love James all the more.

* * *

Logan let James drive the car since he knew where they were going. As he pulled to a stop facing what was indeed a lake, James said, "This is perfect. First ones here so we got the best spot."

Thinking that all spots would be facing the lake, Logan asked, "What makes this the best one?"

"The view," James replied. He used his chin to point upward, and when Logan looked through the windshield he saw it was a clear night and the stars were brighter than he'd ever seen them. The moon was nearly full and glowing like a golden Christmas ornament in the sky. It shone down on the water to highlight gentle ripples over the lake.

"Okay, you win. This might be the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Excluding you, of course."

James' lips curved up. "Of course." He pressed a kiss to Logan's temple. "I'm so glad you came. So glad you're here."

"Me, too," Logan agreed. He almost wished they could not have the heavy talk and instead just sit here together and stare at the moon. It was peaceful.

"Are we going to talk about our feelings?" James wondered while obviously cringing on the inside.

"Technically, no. Though I'm sure your feelings will make an appearance plenty of times while you try to digest what I'm telling you." No use in putting it off, Logan supposed. "Let's move to the backseat."

"Oh, that's what I like to hear."

Logan smacked James' arm. "Mind out of the gutter, Diamond. I think we'll be more comfortable back there. We really are just going to talk."

"For now."

After standing, they both shrugged out of the tux jackets and tossed them on the seats. Their ties soon followed, Logan relieved to get out of his. Thank God it would be James to attend high-dollar charity functions and appearances so that he never had to deal with that again.

It took them some time to get situated in the back, and when they were finally still Logan was cuddled up to James and content with James' arm over his shoulders. "You good?" James murmured.

"Yeah. You?"

"Never better. Let's talk so we can get to the good stuff."

Logan chuckled, thinking about the fact that before coming here, he never would've imagined James to be so concerned with sex or speak so openly about it. The James Diamond he'd idolized wouldn't have time for such trivial thoughts. Logan decided he liked this version better, because once James opened his heart to you (and as long as you hadn't hurt him), you always knew where you stood with him. If James loved you, there was never any doubt about his loyalty or devotion. "I love you," Logan said suddenly, needing James to know it.

The words surprised him. "That's nothing new," he joked, but was pleased to hear it all the same. "We've established that it's mutual. Is that the end of our discussion?"

"No, that isn't even the beginning," Logan laughed. "Seriously, do you think about anything else?"

"Hey, I didn't even bring up sex. Your mind just went there on its own." He waited a beat and added, "Yeah, you're not denying it. You're thinking about it, too. So...talk. Say what you're gonna say."

"I'm trying to figure out how to even start. It's a lot to dump on you all at once. Though I suppose it's best to start from the beginning when explaining the past. Which is weird, since the past is actually..." He trailed off when he realized he was saying exactly what Lucy had predicted he would.

"Actually what?" James asked. He sounded intrigued, which was good. Intrigued was better than annoyed or disbelieving. That might come later, though.

Logan let out a breath. "Okay, so I need you to bear with me. Some of what I'm about to say is going to make you think I'm insane."

"Logan, you're the most sane person I know. Just tell me what's going on. You're starting to freak me out, like I need to be worried about losing you."

"No. That's the one thing you never need to be worried about."

"Okay, that helps. So...?"

"So...I guess I'll start in the past. _ My _past. Once upon a time there was a kid named Logan Mitchell. He saw this man talking on his mother's screen once."

"Screen?"

"Like a television. He was six years old and something about this guy mesmerized him. He didn't understand a lot of what the guy was saying, it was mostly scientific jargon, but the way the man spoke was magnetic and he had this...charisma, and...he was just so beautiful."

"And...little Logan Mitchell became obsessed with him, I take it?"

"Completely. Logan started asking questions and his mother told him the man lived hundreds of years in the past but he was remembered because he had made breakthroughs in the medical field that saved millions of lives. Trillions probably, over time. Logan wanted to know more. Everything about the man fascinated him, so he read every book he could find on the man. Watched every documentary."

"Was this man Abraham Lincoln?"

"No, James. _ Medical _field."

"Oh. Right. And at six years old this kid was reading books like that?"

"At six years old it was more documentaries than books, but he absorbed everything he could. For his tenth birthday, his mom even took him to a museum exhibit honoring the man. It was what he wanted most."

"Can I ask a question?"

"Already?"

"Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?"

Rather than be embarrassed, Logan gasped. "You remembered that's called third person! James, you _do_ listen!"

"Duh. How else do I kick ass at the study sessions every week?"

"Most weeks," Logan corrected. "But I'm proud of you."

"Still didn't answer the question."

Logan sighed. "I don't know. Maybe it's easier to talk about it like it isn't about me. Like I'm detached. Some sort of narrator. It's weird, isn't it?"

James shrugged. "It's actually kind of adorable. I wasn't complaining, just curious. Go on, Narrator. Tell me about this little genius who couldn't get enough of the guy on TV."

"Well...basically he spent his entire life from that point on researching the man. Trying to learn everything he could about him. Not just his theories and contributions to the world of science and medicine, but his personal life, too."

"Because he was obsessed. Why haven't I heard you talk about this guy if you're so obsessed?"

"I'm getting to that. He became an expert on all of the man's theories, his life, his legacy. He decided he wanted to spend the rest of his own life sharing that knowledge, enlightening the world to the sheer genius and beauty of the man. It was his dream to pass on that legacy to future generations."

James licked his lips nervously. "This is your way of telling me you want to go away to college, isn't it? You're explaining why you need to leave me."

"No." Logan lifted his face to kiss James soothingly. "I'm explaining why I came here. The man's name was James Diamond."

For a second James looked confused, then his face cleared before annoyance showed up. "Wait a second. Are you saying the only reason you came here was to meet this guy's descendant? That you never loved me for _me_, you just figured out a way to feed your obsession with some sort of..._ancestor_ of mine?"

"No." It was a logical conclusion for James to come to. He probably would've assumed the same at this point in the story.

"And...hold on. If this guy was famous enough to have documentaries and books about him, why haven't I heard of him? He's got my name, that's not someone I'd forget learning about in school."

"You haven't heard of him because..." Logan hesitated. "Okay, here's the crazy part. Remember that I'm the sanest person you know. And you love me."

James' gaze narrowed as he waited.

"All the things he's so famous for haven't happened yet. At least not in your time."

"_My_ time? What the fuck does that mean?"

Logan's teeth dug into his bottom lip hard. "It means that I'm from the future. I was born in the 22nd century. I came back here to save your life."

James stared at Logan with no expression. He'd gone to that place where Logan couldn't read his thoughts; it was Logan's least favorite place.

"I know it's a lot to take in."

"I'm trying to understand why you'd say things like this. What the point is, why you would even...I mean, it's not true. If it's a joke, it's not funny. I could be blowing you right now but instead I'm sitting here listening to some fairy tale that doesn't even make sense. Logan, what the hell?"

Logan sighed. "You have to let me finish. It'll make sense then."

"No, I'm pretty sure no part of this will ever make sense. I mean...you're from the future? I become this genius scientist/doctor guy who...what, cures disease? Come on, Logan, that right there is fucking nonsense and you know it. I'm going to be an actor."

"You are," Logan nodded. "Such a great actor that you fool the entire world. But I didn't know that until last night. That's when it all started to make sense."

James shook his head. "Nope. Still not making sense. And I'm taking back what I said about you being sane. You're scaring the shit of me, Logan."

"I know." He kissed James again, briefly but with feeling. "I'm sorry. If someone was telling me this, I wouldn't believe it, either. I'd need proof."

"Proof? Yeah, good luck with that. You're not gonna find proof from this fairy-tale future. I love you but right now I think you just...you need help. You cracked. From the stress, I'm sure, or maybe it happened when your parents died and it's...it's okay. It happens. We're gonna help you, okay? I'm not just gonna abandon you. I'm here for you. Let me take you home, we'll talk to Sylvia and—"

"I have proof," Logan said quietly. "From that uh...fairy-tale future. I brought it with me tonight because I knew you wouldn't believe me otherwise."

James froze, swallowing hard. "Nothing you show me is going to make me believe you're from the future. I'm sorry."

Logan knew better. At some point James would accept the truth, and Logan hoped it wouldn't be a long, drawn-out ordeal. He slipped the cube from the pocket of his pants and held it in his palm.

"What's that?" James asked suspiciously.

"This is the memory cube I made before I came here. It's everything about you. Every documentary, every picture I could find, every speech you ever gave. Articles written about you." _Footage from your funeral._ Logan thought it best not to mention that just yet. He pressed the power button and brought the device close to his mouth to say, "Show me James. On screen."

A slide show began, tiny photos of James from every age floating slowly by. Next to him, James' eyes were glued to the screen and open so wide it was comical. After one of himself with white hair and glasses slid by, he said, "Photoshop. You made those on your computer. You're smart enough to know how."

"They're real, James. Hang on." Logan spoke to the cube again. "Menu." A list of files appeared. He chose his favorite of James' speeches, the one he'd watched in the room he shared with Carlos when he needed to feel close to James. On the screen, a woman was introducing James Diamond, who stepped onto the stage to a thunder of applause. He began the speech with a joke, charming everyone in the room. Logan's heart fluttered watching him at his best—when entertaining others. "You're so beautiful," Logan murmured as future James continued to talk.

"How...how did you make this? Where did you find that guy?" James sounded scared now.

"I didn't make it, James. This is who you're going to be. This is the life you dreamed of, being loved and admired and valued. Not just by one person, but by the entire _world_."

"It's not real. It's great, I'm not gonna lie, you put a lot of work into this and it's pretty damn convincing. But it's not real."

"James, look at him. Look into his eyes. It's you. You _know_ it's you."

"It can't be."

"Look at his neck. He's got that same mole in the same spot. The one I used to dream about licking."

James blinked at Logan. "Is that why you do that? That's why you're obsessed with that spot on my neck?"

It had been a long time since Logan had given in to that urge. "So many things I fantasized about with you, then I came here and had to resist. I wasted so much time."

"I still don't believe this. Just so you know. But...can you show me something younger? Like...when does all this start? How does it happen? Why do I sound so _smart_?"

"There's a lot more of the story to tell, James. Are you willing to listen? Or are you going to have me committed before you hear how it ends?"

James stared at the screen again. Logan brought up his first interview, which would take place before the summer was out. James appeared much as he did now, only his hair had been trimmed and he was dressed in a more sophisticated manner. That James laughed at a question from his interviewer, something about how James had first become interested in genetics. Eyes bright, he answered, "Believe it or not, it all started with a fairy tale. I wanted it to come true, so I found a way to uh...make it so."

James jolted next to him. Gaze riveted to the screen, he whispered, "Tell me how it ends."

* * *

Logan told him everything (or almost, as he knew some of it needed to remain a surprise). Lucy was mentioned only as someone who'd popped in to guide him forward; he kept her name and the knowledge of their future interactions to himself. He also left out what he knew of Brooke's death. James sat in silence, not one question erupting as he listened to Logan with rapt attention while attempting to grasp everything being explained. It wasn't until Logan's tale arrived at their present circumstance that his voice tapered off and he waited for something..._anything_...from James.

Nothing came.

"James?" Logan prompted softly. James was sitting up straight next to him, staring forward but not really seeing the seat in front of him. His mind was elsewhere. Logan chanced startling him by laying a hand over his; James didn't move or pull his hand away, which Logan thought was a good sign. "Hey. Talk to me."

Still nothing.

"Do you believe me?"

"I..." James was struggling, that much was clear. "It's...I don't..."

"I know. It's a lot." Logan squeezed James' hand. "But...you always ask me to believe in you. I need you to believe in me."

James swallowed before licking his lips. "Not quite the same thing, babe."

_Babe._ Somehow the use of that term, which had never been spoken before between them, set Logan's mind at ease. Whether James realized it or not, he considered them a couple. A _team_. "It is, though. I'd never lie to you."

James' face slowly swiveled over to Logan's with a raised eyebrow. "Are you shitting me right now? Your entire life since you came here has been a lie. _If _I believe your fairy tale, anyway."

Logan let out a breath. "Okay, I guess that's true. And you probably feel betrayed that I wasn't honest with you from the start. But you see why I couldn't be, right? The whole point was to make sure nothing changed and that history repeated itself. If you knew, everything would've been altered. Or...at least that's what I believed then." James lapsed into silence again, eyes staring past Logan and out the window. "Please say something. Don't shut me out."

"I'm trying to...I mean...so like...when you came here, it was to find me? Specifically for me?"

"Yes."

"And you thought I was some genius. Some smart guy like you."

Logan bit his lip and nodded, gaze dropping. "I did."

James absorbed that. "But instead you found me. A fuck-up who couldn't get his shit together. What a disappointment I must've been to you."

"No. You were never a disappointment."

"Don't lie to me. Not anymore." James' tone edged toward anger. "I saw in your face last night how disappointed you were. Now I know why. You were expecting me to come up with this genius life-saving assignment about cancer or whatever and I failed you."

"No, James, you're not understanding. You _didn't _fail, that's the whole point. You did exactly what you were supposed to and it got us to this moment. It got me to understand the truth and how things are actually going to happen. That I was wrong, it was never you. It's me."

"That makes more sense. Because God knows I'm no genius. Seriously, Logan, how does that not bother you? I'm not who you thought I was, I'm not the guy you looked up to for your whole life. I'm just a normal kid who can barely even pass high school. There's no way that doesn't bother you."

"It doesn't, it actually makes me feel better because now it all makes sense. It fits. James...you're right, you aren't what I thought you'd be. But you know what? I like this version of you better. You showed me that there's something more important than knowledge. Never thought I'd say that, but it's true. There's something better."

James glanced at him. "What's that?"

"Love," Logan smiled. He dragged James' chin closer to kiss him gently. "You showed me love. It's something I've not had a lot of in my life and I didn't think I ever would since the only man I've ever truly loved lived hundreds of years before me."

"But that's my point, Logan. The man you loved is a lie. I'm not what you thought I was."

"No, but I'm not what I thought I was, either. We're both..._more_. Together, we're going to change the world. We're going to save lives. And you're going to be famous."

James shook his head in disbelief. "That's nuts. I still don't...it's crazy, you know that, right? All of this, it's crazy. I don't know if I can accept it."

"Want to see more videos? I have a lot."

"Because you were obsessed," James smirked.

"Still am."

"Really?" James suddenly shifted, the seat's leather creaking when he faced Logan and reached out for both hands. "Are you really? Even though I'm not a genius and I treat you like crap sometimes?"

"Really," Logan whispered. He kissed James again. "More obsessed than ever. Now I know what it feels like to kiss you. To have your hands on me. To see that look in your eyes and know you want me. My fantasies of you in the future never measured up to this."

Fire sparked in James' irises. "Do you know how hard it is to be close to you every day and not touch you?"

"Yes. We don't have to fight it anymore."

"But you're still a...wait a second." James' hands dropped away. "How old are you? Are you telling me this whole time you haven't been a minor? We could've had sex on my birthday? _ Two months ago?_"

Logan cleared his throat and looked away. "Uh...maybe?"

"Oh my god, I should kick you out of this car right now. Make you suffer another two months just for that."

"Except you'd also be suffering, so that doesn't really help."

James shook his head, fuming, before turning away with arms across his chest. "You're an asshole."

Logan chuckled. After everything James had just been told, it was _this _that had him the most angry. "I love you," Logan said suddenly. "And we have our whole lives ahead of us to make up for that." When James showed no reaction, Logan asked again, "Do you believe me?"

"I don't know, the whole thing is so..." James shifted toward him. "Let me see that thing again. With the videos."

"I'm not going to show you everything. It might affect your actions."

"Logan, I just need to see if...I don't...can I really pull it off? Make people believe it's all me?"

"Yes," Logan said softly. "You can and you will. Here." He pulled up a few more interviews where James looked natural in front of an audience. His charm and charisma drew them in without fail (his good looks probably partly to blame as well), and he seemed to be enjoying every second of it.

"Wow," James whispered.

"Right?"

"No, I mean...I guess I was wrong. Those big words are coming out of my mouth like I actually understand what the hell I'm talking about."

Logan laughed. "See? You can do it."

After watching himself spew medical facts and theories while wearing a white lab coat for another thirty seconds, James asked, "How are you okay with this?"

"With what?"

"This. _That._ Me taking the credit for all of your work. It's all you, Logan, you're the genius and you change the world. Yet you let me take the credit and I don't understand why you'd do that."

Logan pursed his lips before shutting off the cube and pocketing it. "You've obviously never seen me give an oral report or speech of any kind."

"So?"

"So I'm a mess. I freeze up. Public speaking terrifies me."

"That doesn't make sense. You said you were a professor. Don't you get up in front of classes and speak?"

"That's different."

James frowned. "No, it isn't."

"It is. Those are students, they're there to learn from me. I'm teaching someone else's ideas, just passing them on. Your ideas, most often."

"You mean yours."

"I guess I do," Logan smirked. It was mind-blowing to think about. He'd been teaching his own ideas all along—ideas he only knew because he'd read them as a child. "But I'm not being judged like I would be if I was presenting to the medical world. You can go out there and not care what people think. It's one of the things I admire most about you."

"That's a lie. I do care. It's the reason I was so scared of my attraction to you, because I knew I'd be judged for it. My image is everything."

"Your image is what you create."

"So...hold on. We're together but nobody knows? I have you for my entire life but we keep the whole thing a secret? We keep _you_ a secret?"

"As secret as possible. There was always speculation about your personal life. That's all it ever was, though."

James stared hard at Logan. "I still don't understand how that's okay with you, to just be a shadow. How does it not bother you?"

"Because fame isn't my dream; it's yours. Mine is to educate and to help people through that. You're the mouthpiece for all of it. You have a way of reaching people that I don't. They listen when you speak. We work best together, James. We've proven that over the past two months, we balance each other out. And the most important thing here, besides the fact that we're going to save the world, is that you're happy. You saw it in those videos. You thrive in front of an audience. You're living your dream and saving lives while doing it. What could possibly be better than that?"

The answer came in a near-whisper. "Doing it with you. Knowing you won't ever leave me, that you love me enough to stay and to spend your life with me."

"I do," Logan smiled. It felt a bit like he was agreeing to marriage, and that wasn't much of a stretch considering what they were discussing. "I will. I've spent months dreading the day I'll have to leave you. Instead, it turns out I don't. We're going to do this, James, and we're going to have the life we always wanted—together."

"Happily ever after," James murmured, gaze dropping to his lap. "It really _is _a fairy tale."

Logan leaned in to tilt James' chin up for a soft kiss that was soothing in its rightness. "I love you."

James' eyes were closed as he soaked up the feeling. "I love you, too. And...I believe you. It's crazy, but nothing else makes sense." He went in for another kiss, but before their lips met he gasped and sat up straight with wide eyes. "Wait. Oh my god, we fucked up. We already fucked up! I didn't turn in the assignment! Logan, there's no way we can—"

"Relax. I did it for you. I told Mrs. Simmons that you were delayed, and I turned in assignments for both of us."

James blinked, his heart slowing down. "You did? This morning?"

"Yes."

"Oh wow. Okay. But...there's no way she's going to believe I came up with an idea like that. You know that, right?"

"She will. I told her you really blew my mind with your theory. She'll be contacting you within a week."

"What about your paper? What did you write about for yourself?"

"A fantastic study of how exercise improves mental health."

James' expression softened. "Really? You used my idea?"

"It was important to you."

"Even though it's been proven already and it isn't groundbreaking?"

Logan shrugged. "It's a good one."

James rewarded him with a kiss. Logan reveled in the feel of James' lips against his and the knowledge he'd never have to give that up. When the kiss shifted into something deeper, James' tongue taking possession of his mouth, Logan's breath hitched. "Are you sure we should be doing this here? Anyone could see."

"No one's even here yet," James mumbled into Logan's mouth. "Besides, by the time we get going, the windows will be so fogged up nobody will see in. I just wish I'd thought to bring supplies with me so we could take this all the way. Who knows when we'll get time alone once this all hits the fan."

Logan smirked. "Good thing I stopped at the store on the way to the dance, isn't it?"

James gasped and pulled back to look at Logan in amusement. "And you say I think about sex too much. You came here fully intending to seduce me."

"Oh, well if it bothers you, we can just leave." Logan started to open the car door, knowing James wouldn't let him get far.

"Fuck you, we're doing this!" James dragged him back in, Logan laughing while securing the door before James moved to straddle him. Their lips met again and James breathed, "I've waited long enough for this. Teach me everything you know, Professor."

Lucy had been right; when James used that tone, the nickname was more than welcome.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N—It's a shorter chapter tonight but I wanted to get something up. Work's been stressful lately so I needed something fun to focus on for a change. Thank you all for continuing to read this story as it winds down. :) There are still two more chapters left after this.

This chapter picks up the same evening, after the prom and Logan's revelations to James.

* * *

Logan was almost in dreamland when Carlos quietly (or as quietly as possible for Carlos, which wasn't saying much) slipped into the bedroom. Logan considered pretending to be asleep, not ready yet to leave the happy place he was in after the perfect evening with James, but he'd spied Jennifer's van as they left the lake and knew Carlos would be bursting to talk about his adventures with Kendall. He waited until Carlos had changed into pajamas and climbed into bed, then asked, "Have a good time?"

He'd expected Carlos to be startled, but instead the reply was calm. "Best night of my life. You?"

"I can definitely say the same."

"So you and James are done fighting?"

"Completely." Logan was sure there would be petty arguments over the years, but James' insecurities about Logan leaving him or not being good enough had vanished. "We're going to be together for a long time."

"I think so, too. I've never seen James like that with anybody else. He really loves you, you know."

"I know," Logan smiled. "And you two...I think you guys are going to make each other very happy."

"I'm just glad he's not leaving me. I was scared about that. After tonight, though...he said some things and...maybe it was just the moment and he got caught up in the romance, but I think he's planning to marry me someday. Am I crazy to think that?"

"No. He loves you very much, Carlos. He's not going anywhere."

Carlos let out a content sigh. "Tonight was the best. Ma didn't even yell at me for coming in late."

"I think she's in bed."

"Nah, Ma always waits up when I'm out at night. She just asked if I had a good time and I said yes, then she said we'd talk more in the morning. But not like a threat, more like...she actually wanted to hear about it."

"She told me once she wishes you'd talk to her more about your personal life. She cares and wants to know you're happy."

"Dude, I'm _so _happy. Kendall's the best boyfriend in the entire world."

"My vote goes to James," Logan laughed. "But I'm glad Kendall treats you well."

"He got me a corsage. Or...whatever they call that flower thing for dudes. And he took me to my favorite drive-thru when we left the dance. Then we went to the lake and..." Another happy sigh. "Best night ever."

"Agreed."

Carlos suddenly shifted onto his right side to address Logan. "I saw your car leaving. Did you guys make out?"

"Something like that. Mostly we talked."

"Of course you did."

"But then...yeah. Best night ever."

"Awesome. We're both men now, aren't we?"

Logan had "been a man" for years, but he nodded. No one else had compared to James anyway, and Carlos was adorable about this. "We are. Our lives are about to change, Carlos. In huge ways."

"I know. It's a little scary. But with Kendall, I know I'll be okay."

"You'll be great."

"I hope. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could see into the future? If we could know for sure?"

Logan couldn't fight the smile that tugged at his lips. "Trust me, Carlos. Your life is going to be so full."

"As long as I have hockey and Kendall...what more could I want?"

What more indeed? Logan knew exactly how Carlos felt, only for him it was James and medicine. Thinking that their time as the group of friends they were now was coming to a close, Logan asked, "Are we still on for Good Eats? For lunch?"

"Yeah, Kendall said he'd meet us there at noon. He's gonna pick up James on the way."

"Oh." Logan had assumed he would, but he supposed it didn't really matter who drove. It was just that after everything he'd experienced with James tonight, he was dying to see him again. Soon enough they'd be moving to a new city and living together. Logan knew that the funding would start coming in at the close of summer and they'd need a place to do the actual research and testing. He still had so many questions about their future, though. Carlos' voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Is that okay? Or do you need to pick him up because you miss him?"

The question was put to Logan in a teasing manner. "Oh please, like you don't miss Kendall already."

Carlos rolled over onto his back with a groan. "I do. I can't stop thinking about him. I wish we could sleep together at night. Why are we not adults yet?"

Logan chuckled. "Aren't you the one who didn't want to grow up?"

"That's when I thought growing up meant being alone and having a boring job! Now I just want to get there already so me and Kendall can be together. I wish we had money so we could get our own place."

"Don't rush it, Carlos. Enjoy having your parents here to take care of you while you can." Unexpected nostalgia rose in Logan for the mother he'd lost before coming to this time. He'd found a second mother in Sylvia and hoped that whatever the future held for him and James, they'd still be able to visit with her and Papi occasionally. This was what true family felt like.

"Sorry, man. I didn't mean to remind you of sad times."

"You didn't. I was actually thinking about good times. Just a little sad I can't relive them, so...appreciate your parents now. You have no idea how incredible they are."

Carlos was quiet for so long that Logan thought he'd fallen asleep. He closed his eyes and settled into memories of the evening with James—the feel of lips everywhere, hands exploring, James experiencing a man for the first time. All of it had been perfect and so much more than Logan had ever fantasized about. Then Carlos interrupted his reverie.

"So can we talk about sex?"

"Tomorrow," Logan promised. "Right now...let's just relive it."

Silence fell as they did.

* * *

It might've been because he'd been missing James more than usual, but upon spying him the following day, Logan thought he'd never been more beautiful. James walked into the diner behind Kendall, wearing nothing more fancy than ripped jeans and an old tee, yet seeming to glow—though that could possibly be attributed to the bright smile he wore when he laid eyes on Logan.

He slid into the booth and went in for a kiss before Logan pressed a hand against his chest to keep him at bay. When James frowned, Logan whispered, "Never in public. _ Never._"

James rolled his eyes but acquiesced. He settled for placing a hand over Logan's beneath the table. "I missed you," he murmured. "Dreamed about you all night."

"Same." Across from them, Kendall had greeted Carlos with a deep kiss that was edging into make out territory. Logan experienced a slight twinge of jealousy that they could be so open about their relationship; it lasted only until he reminded himself of the life he'd be sharing with James. He picked up a menu.

"When can we be alone again?" James asked softly.

Logan had already tackled that problem mentally. "After your mom goes to bed tonight."

James sighed. "That's so far away."

"We can handle it. I went years without sex, remember?"

"Yeah, but that's before you met me. You won't be able to resist now."

Logan wasn't willing to concede that James was right—at least not verbally. "So I'm thinking I'll try hash browns today instead of fries."

"Hash browns are good," James said, following Logan's lead toward normalcy. He glanced across the table and cleared his throat. "Hey. Guys. We're in public here."

"Sorry," Kendall mumbled. He started to pull away from Carlos, who wasn't having it and dragged him in for another kiss.

"And don't forget that your mom works here so all of these people who are getting a show right now _will_ tell her about it."

That got through to Kendall. He shoved Carlos away with a whispered, "Later. Promise." After licking his lips, he turned his attention to the menu.

They settled into the regular routine then, ordering and eating each of their favorites while discussing the prom. Logan learned that before his arrival, Denise had tried to get James on the dance floor. "I swear I said no, babe," James assured him, as if Logan might be jealous.

Logan only smiled and nodded; he knew where James' heart lived. "As long as she knows to leave you alone now."

James shrugged. "I won't see her again unless it's at graduation next week. She's not part of my future." He bumped shoulders with Logan. "You are."

Logan's mouth split into a grin with the truth of that knowledge. He'd just popped the last of his toast into his mouth when he caught sight of a face that jolted him. A man was being seated at the booth behind theirs and it took Logan a full ten seconds of studying him over Kendall's shoulder to place the diner's new occupant.

It was Roger. _Roger._

Or...was it? Perhaps it was only an ancestor of Roger's who looked like him. Surely Roger wouldn't have traveled back in time now that Logan had succeeded in the mission.

The man suddenly looked up from the table and straight into Logan's eyes. A smile and nod came next, and Logan knew for sure.

"Uh...babe? Can you let me out for a second?"

"What?" Next to him, James was still demolishing a burger.

"I see someone I know and I need to go say hi. Can you...?"

James gave him a strange look. "You _know_ people?"

"James, just move."

"Okay, okay, relax."

Once able to, Logan slid out of the booth with a whispered, "I'll be right back." His heart was beating fast now as one of his biggest fears came to the surface.

What if Roger was here to take him home? To the future?

But that made no sense, not now that they knew _he_ was the one to turn in the assignment and complete the research. His place was here, at James' side.

Logan cleared his throat and sank down across from Roger. "Hi."

"Hello, Mr. Mitchell." Roger was smiling, and that was a good thing, right?

"I thought we agreed on Logan."

"So we did." The man sat back to settle in, a twinkle in his eye. "I hear you had a visitor last night."

"Actually, night before last. Things were much clearer after that."

"Yes, we had a few details wrong."

"_Major_ details."

Roger laughed. "We got lucky with her, didn't we?"

"Yeah. If it had been anyone else with that mission..." The mere thought of it brought a shudder to Logan.

After nodding in agreement, Roger smiled again. "You blend in well. You look happy."

Speaking sincerely, Logan stated, "I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. Thank you for this, for giving me this opportunity to be with him. And for all the rest, the great things we're going to do, but...mostly for him."

"What's he like? Anything at all like we imagined?"

"No, not much," Logan admitted. "But that's okay, I like this better. I don't think the James I'd built in my head would love me the way this one does." He hesitated, then asked, "Would you like to meet him?"

Roger's gaze flicked to the next table in order to study James. Carlos said something amusing, causing James to laugh, and Roger chuckled. "He seems happy as well."

"For the moment. He's got a lot to deal with over the next few months."

"Yes, he does." Roger sobered. "So he knows? All of it?"

"Enough. I know I wasn't supposed to tell him anything, but I had to. That's the only way this is going to work. Once I knew the truth, he had to be—"

"I understand, Logan. You're not in any kind of trouble."

Logan let out a breath. "I always feel like that when I meet with you, like you're going to haul me away somewhere. You're not, are you? I'm here to stay?"

"Of course you are. You have a destiny." Roger stopped speaking long enough for the server to set down a glass of water before saying she'd be back for his order. "Look at this. A full glass of water. With _ice_."

Logan leaned in closer to say quietly, "You know the craziest part? It's free. You don't have to pay for it."

Roger's eyes grew round in shock. "Free? Are you joking?"

"Nope. This place is amazing. Or should I say, this _time_. Try a hot shower before you go back. It's incredible."

"Where can I do that?"

"Uh...you could get a hotel room, I guess. Depending on how long you're staying. Unless you're just popping in for a bit." Logan finally asked the question he'd been dreading. "Why _are _you here?"

Roger ducked Logan's steady gaze as if embarrassed. "Officially I'm here to check on the mission and wrap it up. I said I wanted to do it myself to be sure it was successful, because it does affect the future of humanity."

Logan nodded. "And...unofficially?"

"I was curious," he admitted. "I had to study up a little on this time before our original meeting, and I was intrigued. We're sworn to only use travel for absolute necessity, so this was my one chance to take a trip."

"I can understand that, the curiosity. If you're able to, stay a night. Walk around, get a feel for the people and the place. It's a good one. And while you're here, try the chicken strips. With ranch dressing. They're amazing."

Roger glanced around the room before asking, "How do you order? I don't see a sign anywhere and she didn't bring me a menu."

Logan reached out to pick up one of the menus held in place by a napkin dispenser. "They keep them on the table here."

"Ah, convenient." Roger eagerly scanned the assortment of meals.

Feeling eyes on him, Logan twisted back to see James watching him. He motioned with his head for James to join them. Clearly curious to know who the man was, James stood from the booth and said, "Be right back, guys." Logan scooted over to give James room to join him on the bench. "What's going on?" he whispered into Logan's ear.

Quietly, Logan answered, "This is Roger."

"Roger?" James considered the man, who looked up to smile a greeting.

"Yes, he's the man who sent me here."

"The government guy?" His hand reached out to find Logan's and grip it tight. "Why are you here? He's not going back. You're not taking him from me."

The fear in James' tone warmed Logan's heart; it meant he was needed and loved. "Babe, it's okay. I'm not leaving. He just needed to uh...wrap things up."

Roger openly studied James now. "It's an honor to meet you, Mr. Diamond. We grew up studying you in school as a hero."

James was still tense. "I'm not the hero."

"As far as the future is concerned, you are. It takes both of you to make this happen. He can't do it alone."

"He's not going to. We're a team. Partners. Nothing's gonna change that."

"I'm glad to hear it," Roger smirked, obviously amused by James' tenacity regarding holding on to Logan. "Just keep in mind the consequences if you ever feel like giving up or walking away. Everyone is counting on you." He leaned forward to emphasize his point. _"Everyone."_

James looked down and gave a barely-perceptible nod. "I know."

The server approached then to take Roger's order. He stared at the menu for a few seconds before saying, "Logan, why don't you order for me. You mentioned the chicken is good?"

"Amazing," Logan grinned. He ordered Roger the chicken strips meal with fries and a side of ranch, then tacked on a piece of cheesecake for dessert. James suggested adding on a glass of lemonade.

Roger shared, "I'm actually quite happy with water."

"You say that now," James said, "but trust me. Try the lemonade."

Logan nodded his agreement.

"Okay, I'll have lemonade as well. Thank you."

The server promised to have his order out soon. Logan smiled and said, "You won't regret the lemonade. Or the cheesecake."

"I'm most excited about the shower, honestly. Can you help me get a hotel room before we part?"

Both Logan and James assisted in that, using their phones to find a place and booking him a room within walking distance. Logan wrote down his cell number for Roger, passing that over with an invitation to call if he needed anything. "And call me when you leave tomorrow. Just so I know."

Roger nodded. "There's a part of me that's tempted to stay. Just start over with a new life, no responsibilities. But..." He shook his head. "The President needs me."

"You know, you will retire one day," Logan pointed out.

"It's tempting," Roger said again. "But _you_ belong here. I don't."

Carlos twisted around to inform them that they needed to cover their portion of the lunch bill.

"Oh, I got this." Logan started to stand. James moved out of the booth to let him pass. "Call me, Roger. Before you leave. Or just to ask questions. Anything."

"Thank you. I'm glad I got to see you and know that you're happy." After a glance at James he added, "That your greatest wish came true."

"It did," Logan smiled.

James turned back to Roger once Logan had moved away, speaking quietly. "Hey."

"Yes?"

"I just...you know. Thanks. For sending him to me."

Amused again, Roger replied, "He was the best person for the job. There was nobody who knew more about you than Logan. He loves you."

"I know. I'm still not really sure why, but..." James shrugged. "I don't care. I'm just glad he's here."

"We all are, James," Roger chuckled. "We_ all _are."

Logan dug out enough cash to pay for their meals and slid it over to Kendall. "You guys ready to go? If we don't leave soon, we'll be late for the movie."

"Oh, let's go!" Carlos jumped up from the booth. "Wait, I gotta pee first!"

"And now the entire diner knows that," James said under his breath as he stepped up behind Logan. They shifted aside so Carlos could run by, Logan shaking his head.

Mindful that Roger was seated just behind him, Kendall mouthed, "Who's that?"

"Just someone from my past," Logan whispered. "I guess you could call him an old friend." He leaned over to squeeze Roger's shoulder. "Enjoy those chicken strips, Roger."

"Oh, I intend to."

When they stepped through the door a few minutes later, Logan took one last look back at the man who had set all of this into motion. Lucy would be popping in years from now, but this felt like a final goodbye to the life he'd known before traveling through time. Roger had come to wrap everything up, and it was done. Their eyes met and Roger nodded once, a thank you and farewell all in one gesture. He raised the glass of lemonade in a silent toast. Knowing that his ties to the future were severed forever, Logan nodded in return while a bittersweet feeling swelled inside him.

"You coming?" James knew better than to hold his hand in public, but he couldn't resist a light touch to Logan's forearm. "Babe?"

Logan took a deep breath and turned away from the door. The bright smile James had waiting for him chased away any hint of sadness that might've cropped up. "Yeah. I'm coming." He bumped shoulders with James as he caught up.

This was his life now.


	37. Chapter 37

A/N—We're so close to the end, only one chapter left after this. Again, thank you for sticking with the story. I'm really glad everyone seemed to enjoy it so much. :) Thanks for reading!

* * *

Graduation was a triumphant moment for James, Kendall, and Carlos. Logan thought it best that he not be on stage to receive a diploma considering how many cameras were rolling in the room. He was struck with "sudden, violent food poisoning" that prevented him from attending the ceremony, or so he told everyone. In secret, he snuck into the auditorium disguised in a hoodie and shades because he couldn't resist witnessing firsthand the victory he'd helped create for all of them. He made sure to keep his distance from the parents while getting close enough to record the special moments, and it wasn't until after the ceremony when we was reviewing his footage that he realized he was staring at a picture of James that he'd always assumed Brooke took and posted. His breath caught when he understood that a photo he'd hung on his wall as a child had been taken by his own hand.

It was enough to drive you crazy if you thought about it too much.

So he didn't. Instead, he made a miraculous recovery to join the families at Brooke's house for a post-graduation celebration dinner, and there he was included in the festivities as one of the boys. He enjoyed that, internally laughing over the fact that he had now graduated from high school twice. When asked about his future plans, a subject he'd been avoiding for months, he was again vague and said, "I'm still weighing my options." Only James knew the truth, and it needed to stay that way.

Just as predicted, Mrs. Simmons contacted James less than a week after graduation to discuss his theories and share that she'd passed the assignment on to a friend of hers in the field. James pretended to be shocked and excited (only the first part was fake) and agreed to a meeting to talk over his ideas. That set off another round of studying as Logan filled James' mind with everything he needed to have memorized. James worried that they'd ask questions he couldn't answer. Logan assured him that everything he needed to know was in that assignment, and more importantly that he knew James would be successful—he'd already done it, at least in Logan's time.

Soon after that, the assignment was published as an article in a well-known medical journal, and it wasn't long before the reporters started tracking James down. Logan had by then admitted to James that he'd been behind the disappearing social media accounts and they agreed to permanently delete all of them, with James communicating his "ideas" through research and interviews. Brooke, Sylvia, Papi, and Jennifer were all extremely proud of James for the brilliant theory. Katie and Carlos were surprised but proud as well, congratulating him on such groundbreaking work even if they didn't really understand the full impact of it yet.

The only person who didn't seem enthusiastic about James' growing celebrity status was Kendall, and Logan thought he should've foreseen this. If anyone could see through the illusion they were selling, it would be Kendall. He remained quiet whenever the subject was brought up. Logan could practically hear his thoughts as he tried to make sense of what didn't seem possible in his mind. Eventually Kendall was going to ask questions they couldn't answer. This was going to be a problem.

Logan was forced to face it much sooner than he'd hoped. Brooke's health had been deteriorating rapidly since graduation; between that and making sure James was prepared for all of the scrutiny, Kendall's suspicions were the last thing he wanted to deal with. But he had no choice because Kendall showed up at the Garcia home at a time when he knew Logan would be alone. The Garcias had gone to visit a family member and James was meeting with an interviewer. Logan opened the front door to the knock with a sinking stomach.

"Hey."

"Hey," Kendall returned. He seemed tense. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Logan moved aside, his nerves frayed. He couldn't tell Kendall the truth. No one could know. How was he going to get out of this? Maybe he should play dumb. "Carlos isn't here right now," he stated as he closed the front door behind Kendall.

"Yeah, I know," Kendall chuckled. Of course he did. He spun to smile at Logan, but it was forced. "It's you I wanted to talk to."

"Want something to drink? Sylvia made up some lemonade this morning."

"Sure. Thanks."

Kendall waited for Logan to lead the way, and at least Logan wasn't the only one feeling obviously awkward; he noted it in Kendall's body language: arms crossed over his chest, lips pursed, the almost-reluctant walk toward the dining room. Logan kept going to the kitchen and got them each a glass of lemonade while Kendall dropped into a chair at the dining room table.

_He knows. I know he knows. Somehow he knows._

Logan chased away thoughts like that. Kendall couldn't know, not unless James had told him. And Logan knew that James wouldn't.

_Relax, Logan. He doesn't know. He's probably here to discuss something about Carlos. Maybe he needs advice about their relationship._

As it had been over a week since Logan had seen Kendall, he decided to try for small talk after passing Kendall the glass. "So how's the family? Is Katie enjoying summer break?"

"Katie_ always_ enjoys summer break," Kendall laughed, and Logan was glad to see his shoulders relax a bit. "Mom tried to get her to sign up for summer school, mostly to keep her busy, I think. Katie wasn't having it."

"I can imagine." Logan took a sip of his drink, now seated across from Kendall. "And your mom? She's good?"

"Yeah, she's the same. Just working. Trying to keep Katie out of trouble. That sort of thing."

Logan nodded. He had no idea what else to say. He hadn't been this nervous around Kendall since his early days in this time, when Kendall had seen him as a threat.

"How's James?" Kendall asked.

"Great," Logan answered honestly. "He's...you know. Adapting to all of this new stuff with the theory and the fame it's brought him." Fully expecting Kendall to use that as a segue to the real reason he was here, Logan was surprised when Kendall instead went in a different direction.

"What about Brooke?"

Logan bit his lip. "She's...not doing all that well."

"Yeah, I figured that when she canceled our family dinner over the weekend. I was worried. I asked James, and he kind of blew it off."

"He doesn't like to talk about it," Logan replied. "_Or _think about it. But I don't have to tell you that."

"Nope," Kendall agreed. "I know James pretty well." He swallowed some lemonade and added, "And there are some things lately that don't make a lot of sense to me."

Logan's stomach dropped. _ Crap. Here it comes._ "What do you mean?"

Kendall set down his glass with a dull thud and leveled a look into Logan's eyes. "I mean that we both know James isn't capable of coming up with a complex scientific theory like that. No matter how much studying you made him do."

His breath stopped coming while his stomach twisted painfully. Logan had known this conversation might come up one day, and he still wasn't ready for it. He hated lying, especially to his friends. "Kendall, James is smarter than you think. He passed his finals without any help from me other than—"

"I'm not talking about his finals. I know he's smart, don't put words in my mouth. I'm not saying he's dumb, Logan. But there's no way in hell he learned enough about...genes and radiation and whatever else is involved to be able to solve a problem that the highest minds in the world haven't been able to. It's just not possible."

"It is. It happened."

Kendall shook his head. "_I'm _not dumb, either. Don't lie to me. I know it's you who came up with that theory."

"Kendall—"

"What I can't figure out is why you guys would pass it off like it was James. That's what makes no sense to me. So I've been thinking about it a lot over the past week and going back in my head to everything that's happened since you came here. There were some things that I should've noticed, or maybe not ignored the way I did."

Logan licked his lips. His heart felt like it was going to implode. "Kendall, I...I think you're reading too much into all of this. It really is as simple as it seems."

"But that's just it, Logan, it_ doesn't_ seem simple to me. None of this does. You came here, you immediately got close to James, you gained his trust and got him to a point where he'd do anything for you. Even pretend to be a genius."

_Breathe, Logan. You can spin this in a believable way._ "There's an explanation for all of this."

"Yeah? Does it have to do with that guy from the diner? With the weird gadgets in the box at the top of your closet?"

That shocked Logan into silence. He stared back at Kendall with wide eyes.

Kendall nodded slowly. "It does. I couldn't figure out what those things are, but I tried looking them up and found nothing. What are they?"

Rather than answer, Logan asked, "Why would you open that box?"

"Because I was desperate to pass my math final. It said 'Math Notes & Theories' and I knew it had to be yours. You were too busy helping James study to tutor me, so I thought those might help. Except there were no notes in the box. Just those little black things with buttons that don't work. Or are the batteries just dead?"

Logan closed his eyes and breathed in slowly. "Did you show Carlos?"

"No. He was in the kitchen making us sandwiches. I didn't want to say anything until I knew what it was, in case it was something dangerous. Is it?"

"No." His voice was barely above a whisper. He had no idea how to get out of this.

"At the diner, I thought I heard that guy say something weird but Carlos started talking so I didn't hear whatever James said after. And it made no sense at all, so I decided I must've heard wrong. James seemed okay with him, and then I just forgot about it because there's no way he said what I thought he said. When all of this happened with James and that assignment, I started to really think about everything and when you put it all together...well, it still doesn't make sense. But I'm positive you guys are lying. What's going on, Logan?"

Logan's brain worked feverishly. Lucy hadn't known whether or not Kendall and Carlos were in on the secret; he had no blueprint to follow in this. He'd have to trust his gut.

Kendall continued, "Look, James is my friend and if you're putting him in some kind of danger, I need to—"

"I'm not."

"Then tell me the truth!"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"For one thing, you'd never believe me."

"Try me."

"Kendall, I'm telling you right now that—"

"I heard that guy tell James that he grew up idolizing him. I _know_ that's what I heard."

"Kendall—"

"James is way younger, so I don't see how—"

Logan shot up out of the chair and turned away, needing distance from the accusations and questions. Kendall followed.

"He did say that, didn't he? I'm not crazy. Logan, just fucking tell me what—"

"I'm from the future!" Logan yelled. He spun around to glare at Kendall, angry that Kendall had pushed him to it. When Kendall stared back with an open mouth, Logan repeated it more softly. "I'm from the future." Kendall shook his head. "See? Told you you wouldn't believe me."

Kendall sank into the chair he'd recently vacated. His eyes were still wide and shocked, but not in the way that he doubted Logan's words; he was trying to grasp the idea.

"I was sent back in time to save James' life. Roger's the one who sent me. In my time, the world thinks it was James who came up with the theory. _ I _grew up idolizing him, too. I didn't know until a few weeks ago that it was actually me. I came here to make sure James turned in that assignment before someone could stop him. If he hadn't, the entire population would've died out two years from now. It had to happen this way, Kendall."

Kendall blinked three times before asking, "And James knows this?"

"He does now. I told him everything after the prom. I had to. If he doesn't go through with this, we're all doomed."

Logan gave Kendall time to process the new information. He took their glasses to the sink and rinsed them out, and by the time he returned Kendall seemed a bit more like his normal self. "And James...he just believed it? Without proof?"

"I showed him proof." Logan sighed. "Come on."

"Where?"

Logan was already halfway down the hall. "Do you want to see what the gadgets do or not?"

Fifteen minutes later they sat side by side on Carlos' bed. Kendall's mind had been blown. "You understand why you can't tell anyone about this, right?" Logan said. "Nobody can know. We can't change history."

"Yeah. Yeah, I get it." Kendall swallowed hard. "I feel guilty keeping it from Carlos. If he wasn't so bad at keeping secrets..."

"I know. I never liked lying to you guys, either. I hated that I came into your lives and manipulated James. But I didn't have a choice."

Kendall suddenly shifted to narrow his eyes at Logan. "Do you really love him? Is all of that real or did you just fake it to—"

"I've loved James Diamond since I was six years old," Logan stated. "I used to fantasize about him, once I was old enough to do that. I taught classes about him. That's why the government chose me, Kendall. Nobody loves James the way I do."

"And even after you came here and learned he wasn't the genius you thought he was?"

"I loved him more then." He smiled. "If you doubt anything I've told you today, don't let it be that. I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life. And that's not wishful thinking, that's a fact given to me by a friend from the future. We're always going to be together."

The suspicion in Kendall's gaze drained away. "Are um...are me and Carlos? Do you know anything about that?"

Logan hesitated. "Do you really want to know?"

"Do _you_ know?"

"I do. But I don't want to spoil things, I want you to live them."

"Fine, but that's something I need to know now. I'm terrified something's going to break us apart."

"Are you sure?"

"Dammit, Logan, just tell me. Is he going to leave me?"

One corner of Logan's mouth turned up. "No. You two will be together forever, and you're going to help James through it when I die because he'll want to do something stupid."

Relief turned to fear on Kendall's face. "Oh my god, please tell me that's not anytime soon. Brooke dying has been hard enough on him, he tried to run away. I can't even imagine what he'll do when he loses you."

"It's not for many years to come. I'm sure we'll all make tons of happy memories before that happens."

Kendall sucked in a breath. "And...Brooke? Do you know about...?"

"By the end of summer," Logan answered quietly. "I'm not going to tell you anything else, so don't ask."

"Wow. Does James know that?"

"No. He asked, but I wouldn't tell him. He's already worried enough and..."

"Yeah. His focus needs to be on that theory as much as possible."

"Right. He's having to memorize everything."

"He always did have a good memory," Kendall chuckled. "Probably why he's able to throw shit from ten years ago in my face when we fight."

"I'm not looking forward to that," Logan admitted. "Because I'm sure we'll fight. But it's a small price to pay for spending the rest of my life with him."

"Yeah. Um...are Carlos and I going to play hockey together?"

"Nope, not answering that."

"Ah come on, Logan!"

"No. I told you, I'm not telling you anything else. Live your life and find out."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "No wonder James wants to smack you half the time."

Logan grinned. "He loves me." Realizing that the Garcias would probably be home soon, Logan stood to gather up the memory cubes and toss them back in the box, then changed his mind and pocketed them instead. "Only you would actually open a box that's labeled 'Math Notes.'"

"Hey, I needed help! Don't judge me!" He waited for Logan to replace the empty box and close the closet door before asking, "Want to go grab some lunch? I'm craving Mom's cheesecake."

"You know they'd kill us for going to the diner without them."

Kendall shrugged. "Not my fault they have other things to do." He rose from the bed. "You can buy."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yep. You owe me, since you lied to me all this time. Besides, you probably have plenty of money from the future."

"Technically, it's money from the past."

"Spends either way."

Logan laughed as Kendall slung an arm over his shoulders to lead him out of the room. The gesture was proof that things would be okay between them, and Logan was relieved. It could've gone so differently.

Then again, if that had caused the break-up of their friendship, they wouldn't still be friends in the future. He was glad he'd followed his gut and admitted the truth to Kendall, who was the other person in James' life that knew him well and could talk sense into him.

That would come in handy one day.

* * *

On a gorgeous Sunday morning in August, Logan woke to the sound of birds singing and the feel of a warm, strong body wrapped around him. It was his favorite way to wake up and had happened more frequently over the past few weeks; Sylvia and Papi granted him permission to stay over when James was at the end of his rope, and last night had been the worst bout yet. Recalling the way James had cried himself to sleep, Logan turned over to hug him now.

James hummed before snuggling in tight.

Logan let out a sigh. He didn't know if he was ready for tonight, which would probably be enough to break James completely. The good news was that Logan knew James would bounce back—eventually.

Today was the day Brooke would lose her fight.

James didn't know that. For all he knew, the nightmare would stretch on for months, and that had been the reason for his breakdown last night. Logan clearly recalled him sobbing, "I can't do this anymore, Logan. I can't take it."

As if Brooke knew that, today she would succumb to the cancer and let it take her away. So far she had shown no signs of letting go, but something would change today. Maybe the pain would be too much to bear. Maybe she would just give up.

Either way, Logan would be here for James, not leaving his side. He'd made that promise and intended to keep it.

Thinking now of how much James would be leaning on him today, Logan rubbed a hand up and down the back of James' t-shirt. Most nights together they slept naked after Logan used sex to distract James; last night he hadn't even tried because James was too distraught. He pressed a kiss to James' temple and whispered, "I love you."

James didn't move, but Logan could feel that he was awake. "Am I a bad person?" James murmured into Logan's chest. "Because of what I said last night?"

Logan knew exactly what James was referring to. He'd collapsed into sobs after screaming out, "I wish she'd just die!" And now he was hating himself for it. "No," Logan answered. He squeezed James tighter. "You just want her to find peace."

"I want her to stop suffering." James was calm right now, none of the hysterics from the night before in evidence. "She's not even my mother anymore, she's like this stranger. Sometimes she doesn't even know who I am."

"That's the pain meds, babe. They mess with her mind."

"I know, but..." There was a sniffle, as if James was fighting off tears again. "Do you know what that's like? Your own mother doesn't know who you are?"

"No," Logan said softly.

"Your mom never forgot you, did she? Not even at the end?"

"No. Her mind never went, it was her body that gave up. And then she _wanted_ to go."

"Why doesn't my mom? Her body's done. It gave up a long time ago. Why is she still hanging on?"

"I don't know, babe. Your mom's strong, she's always been a fighter, right?"

"Yeah. When dad left, she got stronger. Didn't let it ruin her. But Logan, she's in so much pain right now. She's barely even aware of who she is. Why isn't she letting go?"

"If I had to guess...it's for you. She doesn't want to leave you."

"Yet last night she thought I was her brother, who died when he was fifteen. She called me Brian!"

"I know. And I know how much that scared you."

"It always scares me when she doesn't recognize me. She doesn't even look like herself anymore. Sometimes..."

When he trailed off, Logan prompted, "What? Tell me."

"You'll hate me."

"Never. Tell me what you're feeling."

James hid his face in Logan's chest again so that his voice was muffled. "Sometimes I want to run. I want to just take you and run away from everything. All of it. The fame, the future...we can just live out our lives in peace. Pretend to be someone else."

"You know that would only last about a year, right? Two at the most? Then we'd all be dead."

James sighed deeply. "Yeah. That's why I haven't done it."

"Also because I wouldn't let you."

"Also because you wouldn't let me."

Logan couldn't hold back a tiny smile. "I love you."

"I know. I love you, too." James turned onto his back and scrubbed a hand over his eyes. "I love _her_, too. How could I wish her dead if I love her?"

"For the reasons we mentioned earlier. You don't want her to suffer."

James swallowed. "Can you at least tell me how much longer this is gonna go on?"

Logan was tempted. He'd always refused that information before when James asked, knowing most things needed to stay unknown. James was about to break, though, and Logan didn't think he'd last much longer.

Then again, he wouldn't have to. By this time tomorrow, his suffering would be over, or at least could have changed to mourning. Once Brooke passed, James could begin to heal.

"Babe? Please?"

Logan shook his head. "I'm sorry. I can't."

"You can, you're just choosing not to."

"Trust me, James. Just...trust me. We'll make it through this." James had no reply. Logan finally asked, "You don't have any meetings today, right? No interviews or planning sessions to be at?"

"No, just that telephone interview with the science journal lady. I'm doing that from here."

"Good. I uh...I'm gonna sit with your mom while you're doing that."

"Babe, you know I need you there to—"

"No, you don't. It's the same stuff you've been saying for the past week. You have it all memorized. Next week is when we'll shift to making actual plans for a research facility."

"Next week?" James sat up suddenly to stare down at Logan. "But you know I'm not leaving until Mom passes. I won't even think about moving until then."

Logan met the wild gaze with his own calm one. "I do know."

The implication of that sank in slowly. James licked his lips. "Oh."

Logan pushed himself to a sitting position and leaned forward to kiss James softly. "It's gonna be okay."

James dragged Logan into an embrace, then broke down into sobs. Logan held him tight.


	38. Chapter 38

A/N—So this chapter brings the story to an end. I can't believe it took me almost a year to write, but I think we can all agree this has been a year like no other. Thanks for sticking with me until the end. It was a fun one to write. :)

Also, I apologize for the first half of this chapter. It had to happen.

And before I forget, I'd like to thank my wonderful friend who looks over the chapters for errors before I post. You know who you are, and I'm grateful for you every day.

* * *

Logan waited until he knew James was busy on the phone to mount the stairs and head up to Brooke's room. The sight of her so frail and thin was something he'd never gotten used to; he could only imagine how much harder it was for James, who'd known Brooke before she got sick, to witness. She was swathed in a mountain of blankets because she was always cold now, and her face looked haggard in sleep. Her hair was the only healthy part of her at this point, and that was due to the caregiver who came in every morning to bathe her and do a quick shampoo/combing of the brittle tresses (at her insistence). Logan found it ironic that her deepest fear had been the loss of her hair when in truth that was the part of her that would suffer the least.

The caregiver smiled at Logan. "She's sleeping."

He nodded and took the chair at Brooke's bedside. "Thank you, Mara. How is she today otherwise?"

"Her usual stubborn self. She refused her medication."

Logan's head swung over in surprise. "All of it?"

"Yes, sir. I know she's in pain, but she wouldn't take it. She said she doesn't like how it makes her feel."

_What, better?_ Logan rolled his eyes, but he thought he knew what she meant. She couldn't think straight while on the morphine. "I'll handle it. Thanks, Mara."

The caregiver gathered up her bag of bathing and styling supplies. "Did you need anything else, sir?"

"No. We're good. I'll sit with her now."

Mara nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow morning."

She wouldn't be. Logan smiled at her anyway. "Thank you for everything. James is grateful to you for all of that you've done for her."

"Well, she's not the easiest patient I've ever worked with, but I kind of like her anyway."

"Yeah, she rubs off on you, doesn't she?" Logan grinned. "She's special. Bye, Mara." He waited for her to close the door before reaching out a hand to lay over one of Brooke's, which was colder than it had ever been.

She was close now.

Logan lifted her hand and kissed it.

"Stop it, your lips are like fire."

Her son had used that phrase before, but never as a complaint. Logan chuckled, glad to hear that Brooke's words weren't slurred at all. He laid her hand back on the bed but didn't let go. "You're just cold."

"What's new?" Brooke snarled. She opened her eyes to glare at Logan. They were bright and clear, showing she was more mentally alert than she had been in weeks. "Where's James?"

"He's on the phone right now, giving an interview."

"Oh? Did he cure cancer yet? Because I could use some of that right about now."

"Not yet," Logan replied, sadness washing over him that his vaccine couldn't help Brooke. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, stop. I get enough crying with James. Don't you start, too."

"You know, you should consider it a good thing that James cries over you. Normally he just bottles everything up and hides it. The fact that he can't around you shows how much he loves you."

Brooke's eyes fell closed. "I know he loves me. And he's scared."

"He is," Logan agreed. "Mara said you didn't want your pills today. You have to be in excruciating pain right now."

"The worst it's ever been," Brooke admitted with a grimace.

"Why don't you take something? I can—"

"No. No, I hate the way they make me feel. I can't think straight."

Just as Logan had suspected. "Do you really want to think when you're in that much pain?"

"Yes, because I need to talk to James. I have to make sure James is okay, I can't keep letting my brain fog over. I have to take care of him."

"Brooke, that's what I'm here for. That's my job now. I know you're holding on for him, but you have to trust me."

"I do, I just..."

"Just what?"

"I'm scared."

Logan held her hand in both of his now. "I know. It's natural to be afraid of dying."

"No, I'm not scared for me. For him! My death is going to destroy him. He's so much more fragile than he thinks he is. He'll never be the same after I die, you know that. I can't leave him."

"Brooke, I'll make sure he's okay. I promise."

"But you can't know that, Logan. You can't promise me that. Nobody can see the future. What if he just gives up? What if he stops the research, stops caring about his work because I'm already dead? I'm giving him a reason to keep going."

_Nobody can see the future._ Logan bit his lip. _ He_ could. And with his help, Brooke could, too. "What do you want for James? For his future?"

"I want him to be happy, Logan. This new theory of his could change the world. He can't give up on it! If he isn't happy, he will. He'll just walk away from everything and...give up."

"I won't let that happen."

It took most her of strength to raise her hand to Logan's cheek. "You saved his life. Without you, he wouldn't have graduated. He might not even be here today, because I think he would've run away. You kept him here."

"Then trust me to do this. I will never leave him." Logan kissed her hand again and then held onto it.

"I just want him to succeed. I need to know he's going to be okay."

Logan knew how to get that for her. He sucked in a breath. "Hang on."

"Logan, what—"

"I'll be back."

He jogged out of her room and down the stairs. He could hear James talking from the dining room, then a laugh that to anyone else would've sounded natural. Logan knew it was forced; James was going through emotional hell right now. After a peek out the front window to be sure Mara's car was gone, Logan hightailed it back up the stairs and to Brooke's bedside. He caught her in mid-hiss. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Just...pain. So much pain, Logan." Tears crowded in.

"I know. I know, Brooke, I'm so sorry. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Hold it."

She followed the command, shakily letting it out ten seconds later.

"Better?"

"A little. I can breathe again. Barely."

"Okay. I need you to look at something. Can you do that for me?"

"I just want to sleep."

"Soon. I promise. Open your eyes." Logan dug into a pocket for the photo cubes he'd kept there ever since Kendall's discovery of the box. He couldn't take any chances and carried them around constantly now, except during sleep. He grasped the one containing information about James and held it close to his mouth. "Show me James. Project."

On the wall opposite Brooke's bed, a stream of photos started playing in succession. Here was James' senior portrait, then one of him in his precious lab coat and giving a speech to world leaders. "Brooke? Can you see that?"

The pain cleared from her eyes as she focused on the wall. "Is that James?"

"It is. I know how hard this is to believe, but that's James in the future."

Brooked blinked a few times while staring at the images. "He's so handsome."

"Yeah, he is." A warm smile crossed Logan's face. "Hang on." Logan called up the menu, then played his favorite of James' speeches. They watched together as James spoke a message of hope for the future.

"How did you make this?" Brooke finally asked. "When?"

"That's...a tricky question. I put these pictures and videos together about two hundred years in the future. That's where I came from, Brooke. I was sent back in time to save your son, who is going to save the world."

"You're lying. You just made this to make me think it's okay to die."

"I didn't. This is actual footage of him. He's going to make that speech. He's going to succeed in creating the vaccine for cancer and he's going to save the world."

Brooke watched in silence for another thirty seconds, her eyes filling up with tears again; this time they weren't from pain, but pride. "Logan...swear to me you're not lying. I know you, and you wouldn't lie to a dying woman."

"No, I wouldn't." He sat on the edge of her bed, facing her and taking her hand in his. "I swear to you, Brooke, that James is going to be successful. He's going to be happy. All of this will come to pass."

"And what about you? Where are you in all of this?"

"I'm right next to him. Nobody ever knows that, except maybe Kendall and Carlos. And my parents. But I never leave him alone. _Ever._ I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life taking care of James and making sure he's happy. That's my entire reason for being here. And I love him, I've loved him since I was a kid. Look, let me show you..." He twisted around on the bed to face the wall and called up the video of James' funeral. "This might be hard for you to watch, but I want you to know that he lives a long, happy life. This is how much the world grows to love him."

They watched the procession together, all of the mourners crowded into a huge church while a newscaster narrated what was happening. The camera panned to James in his open coffin, his face at peace while he laid there shrouded in the lab coat with a missing button that he'd never replaced.

"All those people? They're there for my son?"

"Yes. In my time, two hundred years from now, he's a legend. He won't ever be forgotten, Brooke. He's one of the most beloved historical figures of all time. And he's happy."

Brooke sniffed in a breath. "And you promise me this is real? You're not just making it up?"

"You know me, Brooke. I wouldn't lie to you."

"Except about being from the future."

"Well...yeah. I had to. James forgave me for that. Can you?"

"So he knows all of this? About his future? About you?"

"He knows. But he won't be able to make it happen until..."

Brooke closed her eyes and breathed out slowly. "Turn it off."

Logan did. He pocketed the cube and leaned down to kiss her cold cheek. "He loves you so much."

"Would you bring him in here so I can talk to him? I need to say some things."

Logan heard it in her voice; she'd finally decided to let go. He remembered his own mother reaching that point, how he'd known it the moment she made up her mind to let death take her away. She'd been gone before sundown. Brooke would be, too. "Of course. Can I get you anything?"

"Just James. And Logan? Thank you for taking care of us. Of _him._ He needed you. He'll always need you."

"And I'll always be there. Would you like to um...sleep?"

She thought about it for a second and then nodded. "Yes. After I talk to James. Give me something to help me sleep. I love you like a son. Just so you know."

"I do know," Logan smiled. "I'm really glad I came back in time to know you and be your friend."

"Me, too."

* * *

An hour later, James called to him from Brooke's bedroom. Logan had been sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting. Was this it?

"Babe?" James called again.

"Coming!" Logan peeked his head in. James' face was red from crying; Brooke's matched it. Her eyes were open as she smiled at Logan.

"Come in. I'd like you both to sit with me until I'm asleep."

"I uh..." James cleared his throat. "I just gave her the meds she wouldn't take this morning. The pain should be easing up soon."

Whatever had passed between them, it was clear that James knew the end had come. He was at peace with it. He waved Logan closer, then pulled him down so that he was sitting on James' lap. One arm around Logan's waist, James used his other to grasp Brooke's hand. Logan did the same so that their hands formed a knot. "Are you comfortable?" he asked Brooke.

"Getting there. The pain is..." She sighed. "It's...going away."

"Good. Let me know if there's anything we can do."

"Just...sit here with me. Until I fall asleep."

That they could do. Brooke's eyelids started to droop. Just before they closed for the last time, James whispered, "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, baby. Logan will keep you safe."

"I know." James hugged himself to Logan's side to bury his face while the sobs hit. Logan held him tight with one arm.

"Don't cry," Brooke whispered. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

They held her hand until it went slack. Logan could see that she was still breathing, but knew it wouldn't be long. He used both arms to hold James close and rock him. "I'm here. I'm right here."

"Don't ever leave me."

"Never."

James' tears finally tapered off, and when he and Logan looked at Brooke again, it was over. A sob tore loose from James' mouth. "Is she...?"

Logan checked for a pulse. "Yeah, babe. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. She's free now. She's free."

Logan held on until he was sure James could handle being alone, then he left the room to make some calls.

* * *

**20 YEARS LATER**

"Babe? You down here?"

Logan cringed, knowing he was about to be scolded. Maybe he could hide.

"Hey! Hey hey hey, it's Sunday! Step away from the microscope!"

Too late. Logan sighed and stepped back to hang his head. "I was just—"

"Nope, don't even finish that sentence. You were just _nothing_. It's Sunday, this is our day; no science allowed."

Logan finally looked up to meet James' stern expression, and as usual the sight of that beautiful face jolted his heart after being away from it. Sometimes Logan still couldn't believe he was lucky enough to spend every day (or most days, anyway) with this man. "Sorry, James. I'm just so close to—"

"Don't you dare speak any big words you'll have to explain to me. Not on a Sunday." James was close enough now to kiss Logan, so he did. Logan sighed into it, closing his eyes to savor the taste of the man he'd married in a secret ceremony almost fifteen years before.

"Come upstairs," James murmured, his voice softer now. "I got you your favorite sandwich from the deli."

"Mmm, you do know the way to my heart."

James snuck in one more kiss before smiling and backing away. "That's why you married me." He reached out for Logan's hand to lead him toward the elevator they'd had installed to reach the underground lab they'd put together. "Come on, my chili's getting cold."

"Oh, and we can't have that, can we?" Logan teased.

"Shut up, you know it's never as good reheated."

Five minutes later they were seated comfortably on a sofa upstairs, both working their way through sandwiches, along with James' beloved chili and a bowl of vegetable soup for Logan. He swallowed a spoonful and said, "You know, this is putting me in the mood for _my_ soup. It's been a while since we had that."

"I'll never say no to _that_. But we can't do it tonight; I promised your parents we'd meet them for dinner."

Logan had almost forgotten they were in town. "Why didn't you invite them here? It's safer than me going out in public."

James shrugged. "I thought you might be sick of this place. Want to get out for a change."

"Maybe, but not with you. You know we can't risk that."

"Which is why we're having dinner in their hotel room. They're going to order in. We'll arrive separately." James waited three seconds to add, "Go ahead, Professor. Find a flaw in that plan, I dare you."

Logan really couldn't. "I admit, it's not bad."

"Thank you," James beamed. "I can be the smart one, too."

"Does that mean I can also be the pretty one?"

"Please," James scoffed. "If that was the case, you'd be the one out there giving speeches and fighting off college girls every other week."

Logan shuddered at the mere thought of it. "No, thank you. You can have all of that."

James took his last bite of chili and set the empty paper bowl aside. "You know, you _are _beautiful. It's the world's loss that they never get to see you. I'm just lucky that I get you all to myself."

Logan's heart melted. Before James could pick up the sandwich he'd sampled earlier, Logan leaned closer to kiss him on the lips. "I love you."

"I know," James grinned. "And you know what I love? Sundays. Just you and me, no research team to share you with, no meetings I have to attend or trips I have to take...just this right here. For one day a week, it almost feels like a normal life."

"I thought you hated normal. You never wanted to be normal."

"Eh, I've learned that it has its perks. Are you done with that sandwich?"

"James, I barely started it. What's your rush?"

"It's already noon and we haven't even had sex yet. It's kind of our Sunday ritual, you know?"

"You act like that's the only day we have sex."

"No, but Sunday sex is special. We're not rushed or tired. We can just take our time and spend all day in bed if we want to."

Logan couldn't even bring himself to tease James because he enjoyed that as much as James did. "Let me finish eating, and then we'll need at least twenty minutes to let our food settle, and—"

"Oh my god, you hate me. You live to torture me."

"You'll survive," Logan promised. "Eat your sandwich."

James groaned but picked it up for a huge bite. Logan changed the subject. "Tell me more about these college girls you're always fighting off. Anything I need to worry about?"

James rolled his eyes. "Babe, you know they don't get anywhere with me. You're the only person on Earth for me."

"Always good to hear," Logan smiled.

"Are you seriously worried?" James frowned.

"No. I know how our story ends. I just like to hear you say things like that."

"And you say_ I _have an ego."

Logan chuckled. "A little reassurance never hurts."

"Would it scare you if I told you it isn't just girls I'm fighting off?"

"Doesn't surprise me at all. You're gorgeous."

"I still got it," James agreed with a grin.

"What you've got is mustard on your chin." Logan picked up a napkin and wiped the smear off. "There. Now you're gorgeous again."

"Thanks, babe! You done yet?"

"No, I am_ not _done yet. Let me eat!"

"Fine." James balled up the paper his sandwich had been wrapped in. "I guess while I wait I should tell you about this girl who's been...particularly persistent."

Logan stopped in mid-chew. His heartbeat sped up. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I keep running into her and at first I didn't think much of it, but she's been at like four of my lectures now. In different states. She's actually traveling to hear them, like...following me. And she told me she's hoping to win the scholarship we set up. She um...she intimidates me a little bit."

After swallowing down the food trapped in his mouth, Logan asked, "How?"

"I don't know, she just...asks a lot of questions. Almost like she knows the truth and is testing me or something. I read her essay on the flight home yesterday, and I have to say, she's really smart. I think she deserves to win but I wanted your opinion, since you actually know what the hell these entries are talking about."

_Lucy. _ It had to be. Logan had been waiting years for this moment, and sure enough—almost twenty years to the day. It was weird to think that next time they met, it would be Logan who had all the answers instead of the other way around. "I'd like to read her essay," he said now. "I have a few more to get through before next week, but if you think she deserves it, she probably does. What's her name?"

"Um...something old-fashioned. Lucretia? No. Lusitania?"

"Lusitania? Babe, that's a ship. You're remembering that from when we studied World War I. Like back in high school."

"Damn, my memory really _is_ good."

"Yet you can't remember a name you just read yesterday."

"Hey, I do my part. Don't mock me."

"Sorry," Logan chuckled. "You _do _do your part. And you do it well." _Lucille. It's probably Lucille._ Excited now that he knew it wouldn't be long before Lucy came into their lives, Logan wrapped up what remained of his sandwich and dropped it into the larger bag that held their trash from lunch. "Okay, I know you really want sex right now but I'm too full and I promised Kendall I'd call him today, so that should only take about twenty minutes and—" Logan's words cut off when he noted that James was staring at him with narrowed eyes. "What?"

"You're wearing the coat."

"The...what?"

"The lab coat. The damn lab coat. You know you're not allowed to wear that on Sundays. It symbolizes _work_."

_Shit._ "Okay, sorry, I couldn't help myself. You were gone and I was so close to—"

"I was gone to get your favorite sandwich for lunch!"

"I know, and I appreciate it!"

"That thing's coming off."

"Okay, let me just—"

"Nope. You'll take too long."

"James, wait!" Before Logan could get out of the way, James launched himself forward to trap Logan back against the couch cushions. His hands were rough as they worked to free Logan from the coat. "Babe, be careful! Don't rip it!"

"Oh my god, you and this stupid lab coat. It's already falling apart, Logan, why won't you let me get you a new one?"

"We've been through a lot together," Logan answered in a tiny voice. "Our most important discoveries were made in this coat."

"But our best moments were made _out_ of it." With a grin James grabbed the lapels and pulled.

Logan gasped and shoved James away to sit up. "Don't hurt it! Let me take it off, geez! You're such an animal!"

"You love it."

Logan smirked because yes, he did. But not at the expense of the coat that had been with him for twenty years. He gently freed the top button, then made a sound of dismay when he reached the next one down—it was gone. "Noooooo."

James was already half-undressed, his shirt somewhere across the room and his jeans unzipped. "What?"

"Babe, my button's gone!"

"Oh. Sorry. You can sew it back on, right?"

"I don't even know where it went!"

"We'll find it." With determination in his eyes, James added, "Later."

Logan knew that look. James wasn't going to wait any longer. A shiver ran through Logan; the sex was always phenomenal when James got to this point. Those jeans were coming off in record speed. Logan quickly unbuttoned the rest of the coat and tossed it over the back of the couch. Within seconds, James had him trapped against the cushions from behind, a hungry mouth suctioned to his neck while James' hands reached around to free him from his pants.

Sundays really were the best.

Logan closed his eyes to let James take control. When he next opened them, he was on his back with James moving over him, bringing them both ecstasy with every thrust. He caught sight of the coat and briefly wondered if he should move it; James was right, it_ was_ old and falling apart. He'd already lost one button and—

Logan's breath stopped. Staring at the missing button brought about a sense of _deja vu_. He'd seen this before, had studied it in pictures and video dating back almost two hundred—

_No. Not back, forward. The images are from the future, from James' funeral. The coat that James is wearing in the coffin, it's got that same exact button missing, it's—_

Logan pushed James off him and sat up fast. His breath came in sharp pants. He stared at James in wonder as he realized that the lab coat James insisted on being buried in didn't belong to him at all.

"Babe? You good? Oh god, don't tell me this is gonna be another one of those moments where you interrupt sex because you had a flash of genius and have to test it _now_. Don't make me stop, this is _soooo_ good."

Overwhelmed by so many feelings of love, Logan felt tears well up in his eyes. James' hands came up to frame Logan's face; he was concerned now. "Loges? What's wrong, babe? Talk to me."

"I love you. I love you so much, and I have never once regretted giving up my life to save yours. This is the only life I would ever want. You're everything to me."

Touched, James was unsure how to respond. "Wow. I'm...I mean...wow. I love you, too."

"I know you do." The proof was right there in those pictures. James needed Logan's presence with him for eternity, and he would wear the lab coat to ensure that. "I just...needed to say it."

"Okay." A soft smile graced James' face. He closed his eyes to kiss Logan gently. "Then let me say it, too. I'm glad you didn't let me run away when I turned eighteen. No life could be as amazing as this one right here, that we share. Thank you for saving me."

"Anytime."

They grinned at each other before kissing again, and it wasn't long before they were as desperate for more as they had been when their clothes were still on. James hummed into Logan's mouth and asked, "Can we pick up where we left off?"

Logan laid back onto the couch, bringing James with him. He licked his lips and whispered, "Make it so."


End file.
